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So off she goes to the outback, "That don't look like spuds in that stash," So Officer Wolf and young Red, "Get your kit off then, big boy," says Red. Whilst high above up on the roof, Now Red and her granny are fair, So the moral: as usual, man's penis Now I stress that I'm just the reporter, The Wolf caught Little Red where she skipped. Once Little Red Riding Hood said But Little Red's motives aren't pure; Through the good offices of kind fate, Say, didn't we start out this day Said the wolf to Miss Hood, "It's a bore, When the wolf told her what lay in store, Little Red Riding Hood, nee Mame Krause, While walking to Granny's she found 'im, She looked at Sir Wolf in surprise "I think it is clear," Sir Wolf said Said Red Riding Hood, "Really my dear!" Through the woods young Red Riding Hood skipped, "Hmmm, you taste so good." A virginal maiden named Hood Look out, Little Red Riding-Hood! There once was a girl with red hoods, The wolf, disguised in grandma's gown, That Little Red Riding Hood slut The wolf did a kind of a jig, Said the Wolf, "I'm afraid I must pass Red Riding Hood suffered no peril Snow White is the fairest I've seen," Snow White was a virgin, 'tis said. In the fabulous land they call Disney, A fairy tale that's called Snow White, Six dwarfs strolled up to the mine, Snow White told him, "Bugger off, Pappy; Snow White was a bit of a whore, With seven dwarves she shacked up, Even Bashful wasn't too shy, On Sunday night Snow White had Doc, The following day she got Grumpy, She found it especially pleasing Sleepy was a narcoleptic, Happy was good for a laugh; She thought seven-up was alright, Though the stench was enough to kill ya', It was the best way they could have her, They built a glass case, put her in, One day as she lay in her case, Prince Charming said "I am not braggin', When by his kiss she was wakened, Snow White would be missed, she was sure, The Prince took her back to his castle; Although they'd a mine full of gems, When she left them, Doc started to weep, Said Bashful "I'll miss her I fear, Dopey looked forlorn and glum, Sneezy just broke down and wept, The seven dwarves don't have Snow White, Snow White took on seven small men They built a glass case, put her in; She left them, all seven, to weep, There was a young princess, Snow White, The prince pleaded, "Snow white, be mine!" Philandering a pixie is banned, Snow White was a lucky old bitch; Now none was too largely endowed,
To her granny's old tumbledown shack,
On an erratic route,
With the cop in pursuit,
Till she stops and removes the old sack.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Says the cop. "Yes it is - Instant mash",
Says Red, very canny,
'Cause she knows dear old granny,
Is a dealer, and the sack's full of hash.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Go inside, but there's no-one in bed.
For granny's no fool,
And keeping her cool,
Out the back door she has fled.
--- Tiddy Ogg
"We'll have fun on old granny's big bed."
And after a space
In Red's panties of lace,
That cop like an eagle is spread.
--- Tiddy Ogg
A video camera gives proof
Of couplings lascivious,
Which he thinks are so frivolous,
Which will compromise Officer Wolf.
--- Tiddy Ogg
They give him a reasonable share,
Of their profits illicit.
But the threat is implicit,
Bent coppers must act with due care.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Seduced by the sweet mound of Venus,
From time beyond measure,
For a few minutes pleasure,
A gal makes a fool of a genius.
--- Tiddy Ogg
In this saga of gran and grand daughter.
And if you're offered hash
For a wad of hard cash,
I can only say you didn't oughter.
--- Tiddy Ogg
"Gonna rape you!" he joyfully quipped.
"Nuh-uh," said our Red,
"You'll eat me instead,
In this limerick, you follow the script!"
--- John Miller 0109
"As my Granny's sick and in bed,
With some nasty flu,
I'll visit her to
Make certain the old bat isn't dead!
--- Marlene Lewis
She had heard of Sir Wolf's great allure.
So, hot for his bod,
The wood's path she trod,
Just hoping he'd find her for sure.
--- Marlene Lewis
Miss Hood didn't wind up on the plate
Of the ravenous, heinous,
Big Bad Wolf, fierce Canis,
When she set out to peregrinate.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0607
With you in bed, swollen this way?
If I'm a good
Red Riding Hood,
Will the Big Bad Wolf let me stay?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But I'll just have to eat you -- what gore!"
"Damn it" (stamping her feet),
She exclaimed, "Eat, eat, eat!
Doesn't anyone fuck any more?"
--- Ward Marden 0002 P9702
Red Riding Hood let out a roar:
"You're planning to eat me?
That's no way to treat me! --
Don't wolves ever fuck anymore?"
--- Norm Storer P9806a
Dressed in Cardinal cape and pink blouse,
Gave the brave Woodsman hell,
When he smote with death knell,
Villian Wolf. She screamed, "Not in the house."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0309
And went off in the woods to pound 'im.
Sir Wolf made her cream
More than she'd ever dreamed,
And her tight virgin hole did astound 'im.
--- Anon
She swooned at his great big brown eyes
But the thing she liked best
[And what really impressed]
Was that tongue of such monsterous size
--- Anon
"The women adore me in bed.
I've heard of the bard
Pete and his yard
But they'd rather I eat 'em instead!"
--- Anon
As she tossed the wolf out on his ear,
"You just want to eat me,
But that's no way to treat me!
Doesn't anyone fuck around here?"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8701
Till the wolf in his jaws had her gripped.
"Now I'll fuck you," he said.
"Nothing doing," said Red,
"Just eat me and stick to the script."
--- Bob Giandomenico P8801a
Said the wolf to Red Riding Hood.
But Red Riding Hood said.
As she gave the wolf head,
"Eat! Eat! Eat! I'd just like to fuck if we could!"
--- Limberick
Met a flashy young wolf in the wood,
Though she'd said she would die
Undefiled, ere comply,
She gave in when she saw how things stood.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
The Big Bad Wolf's up to no good --
He gobbles old crones,
And he'll jump your bones,
So stay the hell out of the woods!
--- Robin K Willoughby P8701
Took goodies to Granny through woods.
Wolf took Granny's place,
But she knew that face
Wasn't Granny's and was simply BAD GOODS!
--- Lois Walker
Had followed Red when she left town.
With motives corrupt
"I'll now eat her up,
But first," he drooled, "I'll eat her down."
--- Irving Superior P8701
Needed a dick up her butt.
When the wolf had her anally,
She moaned so insane-ally,
Like some kind of fairy-tale nut!
--- Pretty Grimm
And dressed himself up in a wig.
Red Riding Hood said,
When he'd got her to bed,
"What you've got just seems awfully big."
--- Silvia S Crockett P0104
Red Riding Hood's Granny, alas.
When crossing the heath,
I recalled that my teeth
Were still by my bed in the glass!"
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
When she met a wolf, very feral;
She knew in a jiff
That he couldn't get stiff --
He was not only feral, but sterile.
--- Norm Storer
The wall mirror said to the queen.
But an apple one day,
Put poor Snow White away,
Till the prince kissed her back into being!
--- Lois Walker
Had an apple then took to her bed.
But when she un-gowned,
Her gynecologist found
Seven dents in her young maidenhead.
--- Tom Allen
There's a dwarf who's all shriveled and wizney,
'Cause from morning till night
He's out making snow White --
He's a lucky old ding-a-ling, isney?
--- Hugh Oliver A019C
This is file ldl
Never hid her fair limbs from dwarf's sight.
So the buxom young maid --
Though too big to be laid --
Got as oft Seven Up as she might.
--- Marnix van Winkeln
But Grumpy just bided his time.
He had serious lust
For Snow White's fair bust,
And that will make a fine nursery rhyme.
--- John Henry
Your tool is too old, knarled, and crappy.
Go back to your work,
You miserable jerk,
While I lie her feeling Happy."
--- Tiddy Ogg
She'd do it with all seven dwarves.
Straight, anal, or head;
Even eight in a bed,
On the sofa, the table, or floor.
--- Tiddy Ogg
One dwarf each night got it up.
Dopey wasn't too bright,
But he'd do it all night,
As he wasn't to dopey to fuck.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And got quite a gleam in his eye.
All week he mined gems,
Till his turn came again,
The following Saturday night.
--- Tiddy Ogg
With huge disproportionate cock.
For the rest of the week
He did it with sheep,
But preferred her to shagging the flock.
--- Tiddy Ogg
His turn came around every Monday.
And just for that while,
He broke into a smile,
Not grumpy while having a hump, eh?
--- Tiddy Ogg
When she was shagging with Sneezy.
He coughed and he sniffled
And his beard really tickled,
But she wasn't deterred by his wheezing.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Shagging sent him cataleptic.
Snow White asked for more
But Sleepy just snored,
Or fainted when things got too hectic.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Missed her cunt and entered her ass.
He attacked from behind,
But she didn't mind,
As long as he gave her full blast.
--- Tiddy Ogg
That is all seven dwarves up Snow White.
Night time or day,
She'd do it this way;
All at once, or one at a time.
--- Tiddy Ogg
They also enjoyed necrophilia.
All the hugging and kissing
And foreplay was missing,
And no qualms about if they'd fulfill her.
--- Tiddy Ogg
As she lay inert like a cadaver.
On her back or her front,
Us mouth, anus, or cunt,
With none of the warm-up palaver.
--- Tiddy Ogg
But took her out every night just for sin.
Place her down on her bed,
Where she lay as if dead,
Then the seven would queue to get in.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Prince Charming he rode through that place.
The chap held his breath
And awoke her from death,
With a kiss on her cunt, not her face.
--- Tiddy Ogg
But if you want a chap good at shaggin',
I'm heir to a throne,
If I don't get disowned,
'Cause I'm fed up with hunting down dragon."
--- Tiddy Ogg
The dwarves knew they would be forsaken.
It wasn't their size
That lost them their prize,
Nor the fact they were tired of her nagging.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Though she still felt peculiarly sore.
Then it entered her head
That while she lay almost dead,
Those buggers had come back for more.
--- Tiddy Ogg
She thought he was a daft asshole.
He'd fly into rages
And bugger his pages,
And his dick, unlike Doc's, wasn't vast, Oh!
--- Tiddy Ogg
Snow White one day would leave them.
That ambitious bitch
Wanted land, marriage and riches,
Instead of seven small horny men.
--- Tiddy Ogg
As the prince carried her off to his keep.
Said Doc, "Bloody Hell!
I admit she was swell,
But it's Hi Ho and back to my sheep."
--- Tiddy Ogg
It's sad not having her here.
Call me a pervert,
I must now revert
And shag squirrels and bugger the deer."
--- Tiddy Ogg
And said nothing other than "Um."
Her aroma still lingered
On all of his fingers,
So he stood there and sucked at his thumb.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Sleepy -- he passed out and slept.
Happy started to frown,
Feeling quite sad and down,
And Grumpy looked pissed off at best.
--- Tiddy Ogg
To set their libido alight.
The prince kissed her and charmed
Her right out of their arms.
So they bugger each other at night.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who continued their love even when
After entering coma,
She gained an aroma
That was one on a scale one to ten.
--- John Miller 0111
Took her out now and then, just for sin.
But from death she arose
When (with cold in his nose)
Prince Charming embraced her within.
--- John Miller 0111a
When the Prince took her off to his keep.
But said Grumpy, "Oh Hell,
I admit it was swell,
But now 'Hi Ho', and back to the sheep."
--- John Miller 0111b
Who awoke with a terrible fright.
She was fearful and shaken;
She shouldn't have taken
That seven up, last thing at night.
--- Gerard Benson
She answered, "Oh yes, how divine!
Life will be heaven
Not cooking for seven,
And without fourteen socks on the line."
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
But if you must have sex in the sand,
Try arousing Snow White
From her slumber tonight;
Then you're sure to get your peter panned!
--- Anon
Had dwarves to scratch every itch.
Sinful and Naughty
And Wetty and Hotty;
And when they got tired, they would switch.
--- Anon
But Snow carried on being wowed.
Which proves the chatter
That size doesn't matter,
Except, of course, when you are cowed.
--- Anon
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