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Then doctor and patient insert There once was a couple of Brits, The Frogs have been gettin a jolting; In Paree, once, I caught a strong whiff, If you send all the Frenchmen to Hell, You top-rate American scholars (I thought genre was a French toilet - McW
I knew a young lady from France, And as for your electrical drill, In the bar of the Hotel du Lac Down there in the port of Calais, But this costs a little bit more, In New Brunswick, a cute little wench She went on vacation to France, Enravished, she'll soon swoon and die When Gwendoline went to Paree, I once asked a young lady in France, A Marseillian armpit's for me, Misplacing the French girl Perec On Wednesday the twins will be three; A horny young red-head from France, A young Frenchman from La Gay Paree, Those French are a weird lot I'd say, For weeks I had practised flirtation Ignored I was. "Qui est cet homme?" "Haha! Vous etes old, monsieur Pete!" To Paris I'll soon be away I met her; amazed by my power, But an item that's "gran comme Tour d'Eiffel, Your great eagerness here does alarm me. I think I should warn you, dear Tiddy, Good Bess, she'll do well in paris, Of all the nice Parisian fillies That little French girl of Harry's Though it has a certain allure, A Frenchman proposed to a femme There once was a gal from Calais, McDonalds owes much, we must own, Now listen, I've learned out at Arby's Now, I am quite sure you can toast I once took a steamship to France, There once was a gymnast from France A Frenchman is usually a prick; Although I am French to my soul, How could my poor Mama have knowed Is it true that in France women tan In school I loved Madamoiselle; The was a young fellow from Stoke, A word of advice to you pal, The horribly ugly French throng A pretty wife living in Tours, The Les Guichet train trip to Chatelet Senses soothed by the train's muffled sound; Clippity Cloppity got the nuts In my first Versailles spoke in Anglais, An amorous maid from Provence Said the buxom young German fraulein So you're on your way to Bavaria? I once took a trip down the Rhine Just as Lorelei's rock was rounded, According to german folklore,
O The ladies from Deutschland are best; Gerda, a nun and devout, Said sensual confessant Alice, Now the Germans, they are a case; In Germany, Essen (so neat) In Germany, as light grew dimmer, Let them sing their sorry refrain,
Their johnsons through lips, under skirt.
She's sandwiched between
A finger-cuff queen,
And a large liquid measure they'll squirt.
--- Anon
Who tried to learn French from Berlitz.
But their French lost its charm
When they stopped a gendarme
And asked him to show them his tits.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0305
If I was in France, I'd be bolting.
But they'll riot in vain,
And will always remain
Most arrogant, rude and revolting.
--- David Miller
Of a Froggie, who wanted to tiff;
His teeth he did clench;
Said, "Why can't you speak French?"
I said, "Here's why: I've never had 'syph'!"
--- Anon
It will turn into something so swell,
That no one would wait
At the Pearly gate,
But all souls will ring old Satan's bell.
--- Woozel
Are highly deserving of dollars.
Yet is seems the word 'genre'
Aroused Yankee scorn
And gets you hot under the collars.
--- Anon
Who sat on an anthill of ants;
I knew she was pretty,
And terribly witty,
But never how well she could dance.
--- George Stein P0001
I bet that will not long stay still.
But Ken beware
And please take care
'Cause in France, the voltage can kill.
--- Anon
Sits a girl in a dress, low-cut, black,
For 95 francs,
She'll give you some wancs,
In a small secret room out the back.
--- Tiddy Ogg
That cutie is busy all day,
With sailors and tourists,
She too soon has sore wrists,
So she'll do horizontal ballet...
--- Tiddy Ogg
Three hundred francs, maybe four,
And her eyes seem to glow,
'Cause she sure loves it so...
"Ah oui, c'est les francs j'adore."
--- Tiddy Ogg
Muttered, "Let us be glad for the French!
For none of us doubt
What the ball game's about,
While the English just sleep on the bench."
--- Hugh Oliver 31a
When there she did nothing but dance.
Her trip was successful,
Even if it was stressful;
She came home in an air ambulance!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
A death of delight with a cry
Of "C'est Magnifique!"
When pierced by Claude's dique
And "la petite mort" creams her pie.
--- Randog
All she could say was, "Oui,oui."
She soon passed away
From exposure, they say,
Having laid the whole gendarmerie.
--- Michael Horgan
How she read the future at one glance.
She laughed as she replied,
"You have nothing to hide.
I see by the expression in your pants."
--- Tom Patton P0411
When embarked on a sensual Grand Prix.
Their furry embrace
Is much softer than lace,
Yielding gism instead of warm pee.
--- Randog
(It seems she is now just a wreck)
Embarrasses us,
They will all harass us.
I think that she needs a big cheque.
--- Archie
I guess that their Mommy will be
Too busy again
To bother to feign
Affection. She'll be in Paree.
--- Anon
Wore a black see-through nightie to dance.
"Votre dance sil vois plaise?"
She wanted to say,
But got lost in the foreign parlance.
--- Ailimo Kristin
Was advised "Les Follies," he'd not see.
It's bien for Les Anglais,
Who are not there to stay,
But for Frenchmen, it's not "C'est la vie!"
--- Arthur Pattaffy
And remain so even today.
They wage war unrelenting,
So thereby preventing
The consonant having its say.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0211
In French for my annual vacation;
Such phrases as "Chere;
Shall we screw dans la mer?"
More success I'd have had with Croatian.
--- Anon
They said laughingly, "Ou est vous from?"
I said, "Londres, mes cheres",
As I showed them my wares
With my usual style and aplomb.
--- Anon
They said, shrieking with glee at my meat
As it vanished from sight
For the rest of the night;
But 'twas their fault for missing a treat.
--- Anon
And already I'm starting to pray
That in boulevards leafy,
I'll bump into fifi
And bonk her in-seine-ly each day.
--- Tiddy Ogg
She rode me for hour after hour,
And finally sated,
She breathlessly stated,
"It's as big as the great Eiffel Tower."
--- Peter Wilkins
Is to Fifi aperitif trifle.
I am sure you would blench
At the depth of her trench;
He vagina sheaths cannon, not rifle.
--- Ward Hardman
Youthful lust has made you simply barmy.
Every soldier of France
Has invaded her pants,
Followed close by the whole German Army.
--- Ward Hardman
Beware of this flighty French biddy.
Fifi's genital groove
(It's as big as the Louvre!)
Can hold every man in the City.
--- Ward Hardman
Where the males are randy as can be.
There's just so much a bloke
In deep search of a poke,
Je t'aime oui, vous parle francaise.
--- Anon
I'd like to divest of their frillies,
Young Fifi's the best
With her eye-popping chest,
For she's hot as a truckload of chillies.
--- Peter Wilkins
Told him, that as soon as she marries,
It's she who'll be boss.
And he was so cross,
That now she's in plaster of Paris.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
This is file kdm
I don't speak no French, that's for sure.
To try lims in French,
I'd leave such a stench;
To me, it's just all poop-du-jour!
--- Observer
Two words, and she knew both of them;
Her answer was "Oui!"
And the Frenchman and she
Were thinking of choses, les memes. (things, the same ones)
--- Lims Unlimited
Who wandered a little astray.
Not by smoking or drinking,
And not what you're thinking --
She got lost on the Rue de la Paix.
--- Mary Rita Hurley
To the land of the Loire and the Rhone.
For burghers they say,
Got their start in Calais,
And the world's first French Fry was Saint Joan.
--- Graham Lester
That French fries have too many carbies,
And roasts too much fat,
But Saint Joan wasn't that;
She was slender, the first of the barbies.
--- Liam na Baeg
Better cullinary arts than you boast.
For there wasn't a pan
When Saint Joan hit the fan,
But a spit, and Saint Joan was the roast.
--- Graham Lester
Where I screwed everythng wearing pants.
From old men to boys,
I jumped on their toys,
Including two dykes at a dance.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who gave men bulges in their pants,
With legs like no other.
(Hard to think she's a mother
And has a child she must finance.)
--- Anon
That crap that they cook makes me sick.
They're assholes replete
With grape stains on their feet,
But their women sure suck a mean dick.
--- MrMalo
You haven't heard my story in whole.
My dad was from Warsaw,
Thus mom never foresaw
That I would be born a tad Pole.
--- Gary Hallock
That when her "Lil Froggie" was growed,
I'd only flies eat,
And hop on webbed feet,
And everywhere have to be toad.
--- Gary Hallock
In the sun, so at night they Can-can.
Showing lines that are white
To allure Mr. Right,
And then brag about catching a man?
--- Anon
If she liked me she never would tell.
Every day in her classes,
At her I'd make passes.
In my eyes she was "toujours tres belle!"
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Who told such a terrible joke,
It got people so bored,
He was posted abroad,
Where he relates it to French foreign folk.
--- Andrew George
I see you're in France with your gal.
The problem of course is
In France they eat horses,
And Pet says you're hung comme cheval.
--- Anon
Snatch onions from where they belong.
They think it cleveer
At English to sneer,
But their yard is three inches too long.
--- Anon
Demanded her daily amour.
But the husband said, "No!
It's too much. Let it go!
My bollocks are dragging the floor."
--- L0110
Takes me to nice places to stay.
Unbelievable view,
Especially if you
Find a nice window seat for the day.
--- Nawahl Razak
Passing houses with playparks on the ground.
Though it goes without saying,
It's too cold for playing
On rotating wheels spinning 'round.
--- Nawahl Razak
As the train moves gently on the ruts.
But just as you doze,
It is time you arose,
As the train nicely into Chatelet struts.
--- Nawahl Razak
But now, I Cannes parle in Francais.
If zee Poissy is Toulouse,
It will Rouen zee screws
And make for a very Bordelais.
--- Dan Ford
Had seventeen uncles and aunts;
They chaperoned her
From the Seine to the Ruhr.
Quel dommage! C'est la guerre! Vive La France!
--- Lims Unlimited
As she fucked on the bridge on the Rhine,
"If I fall in the drink,
I never will sink
'Cause my tits, as floats, work real fine."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0306
Not much I consider more scaria!
Oktoberfest beer
Makes you sing songs dear,
But I don't like that kind of aria.
--- Anon
To partake of the fruits of the vine;
Drank too many of these
Trockenbeerenauslese
But the taste was exceeding divine.
--- Peter Wilkins
The ship as expected got grounded.
But to me she showed mercy
And played with my percy;
On the top I had pleasures unbounded.
--- Anon
Unashamed and in public,
Displaying hairs pubic,
Read on if you'd like knowing more.
--- Anon
Be it north or south, east or else west.
They can be quite obscene
If you know what I mean,
And their loving skills stand every test.
--- Anon
When raped, raised a helluva shout.
"Because," she'd avow,
"He didn't know how!"
That's what I'd expect from a Kraut!
--- John Miller
As a penance, I'll drink from that chalice
Where he'd shot his wad in.
Then she wiped off her chin
And whined, "Vater ist das denn alles?"
--- Dirruk
By nature a dominant race.
But truth will ring true,
"Remember The Jew"
Will haunt them all over the place.
--- Anon
Is even more weird, indeed.
'Cause it's a word which
In their own laguage,
Means something as odd as to 'to eat'!
--- Anon
It's check-in time: need a zimmer;
The hotel's frau-line,
Said, come taste my Rheine;
I cried: "Ich bin ein Ber-limmer."
--- Anon
Even though it can be quite a pain.
And try not to scoff
'Cause if you piss them off,
They might invade Poland again.
--- MrMalo
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