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If ever you're praising Seoul, A Turk caught a Greek in his harem, I asked Mr. Nguyen to explain And their first names are hard to forget, Mr Nguyen had to concede I hiked through Asia with the Morgans, The Formosans foresaw the problem, Now President Jiang's heard some fumin' I went off to China last summer; In China I'm told that "How Long" Can a lim be composed in Chinese? ** (** Of course not, no four letter words)
A young man I met, he's a Mongol, He met with this girl who could Yak If he's a true Mongol, I'll bet he There was a young man from Beijing; Said my brother who went to Beijing, The Great Wall of Chgina took years Slave labor and sweat makes for miles How wide was the wall in most places? It's on the Mongolian edge, "For as water descends, rocks shall rise, It runs East and West in direction, Though nowadays, crossing odd states, A wall of this size and expense, But also, it served to impress, How well I remember Hong Kong; The people who live in Hong Kong Michael Jackson stopped off at Hong Kong, Having met at a ball in Hong Kong, Those lims about cock and vagina I'm in love, metaphorically speaking, In China the smartest of sages Chairman Mao said who can and who can't, As a communist, one who embarks On the Long March, a tired Chairman Mao Three Chinese, Fu, Bu and Chu, A lama of Outer Mongolia A terrible blight is this SARS; When you travel to Shanghai may you Three daughters of Mandarin Tu, This Mandarin made a proposal; (found in the Society of Wireless Pioneers Newsletter)
Despite all the lures of Cathay, (served aboard the Ida in the early days of 'Spark')
The people of Tibet shout and cheer. The Chinese defensive deployment A nephew of old Abe Vigoda That in China what once was immutable I propose that we all say finito A Japanese pilot gained fame A wonderful feature of Asia The geisha has one little jest: Geisha girls in the clubs in Tokyo A miser who went to Japan Before its modern age had begun, There was a gaigin in Japan, (gaigin - foreigner)
While scanning through E-mail's crude dirt, In Japan, now the voice of the voter rings, She answered the phone. Saints Preserve Us! A Nippophile tourist named Howell Kyoto Accord, at a guess, He need a good kick in the ass, Not caring what other guys think, One hundred eighty to one; You use fuel up just like a gannet; A lady from ancient Japan The Imperial family of Nippon (Chrysanthemum Throne)
You may think this some ancient tradition, Pissed off by this terrible flight,
Say, "Ah"--then a pause-- and then "soul."
If you do not pause,
(Among their strict laws)
The judge: "Thirty days, you ahsss hole."
--- Irving Superior P9301
And remarked: "Man, you sure harem scare 'em!
I'm calling my Solicitor,
You uninvited visitor.
Take care donning your pants and don't tear 'em!"
--- Arthur Deex P0607
How, in legal matters, he ever made claim,
For in his homeland,
Which we call Vietnam,
Everyone's last name is the same.
--- Anom
For one syllable is as big as they get.
It's something like Gam,
Dem, Yen or Van;
Any three letter word's a safe bet.
--- Anom
That his last name was quite common, indeed.
There, you must be wary
Of whom you're to marry,
Or you just might interbreed.
--- Tiddy Ogg
They're much uglier than two Gorgans!
And they told me, "We know
If we travel too slow,
The natives might harvest our organs."
--- David Miller
So they hid, before Mao could condemn,
All the good limericks
In a case of chopsticks.
Then they smuggled them out! Both of them!
--- William N Nesbit P0512Q
On how he's ignoring rights human.
Will he fess that he's wrong?
Not while trade is so strong,
That folk's rights don't affect market boomin'!
--- Prof M-G T9711
The telephone system's a bummer.
I picked up the thing,
To ring Mr Wing;
Alas though, I wang the Wong number.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Has little to do with a dong.
But instead is the name
Of an oversexed dame,
Who works on the streets of Hong Kong.
--- Anon
Does a Chink eating Chow get obese?
I just got the word
That I'm getting absurd.
So now I'll desist and decease.
--- Anon
Has a great chat-up patter, and Wong'll
Tells gals he'll give pleasure
Beyond normal measure,
If they'll let him plug in his dongle.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And soon she was flat on her back.
But now I talk wet
'Cause yaks come from Tibet;
I'd better go read up my FAQ.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Won't care'f she's a yak or a yeti.
If she's good in bed,
At least gives some head,
She gets a parade -- with confetti!
--- Scott Oliver
Claimed he could make the Fat Lady sing.
He wafted his wand
Down deep in her frond,
And unleashed a sizeable spring!
--- Lo and Behold T9707
"It's impressive and quite amazing,
With no trouble at all,
I climbed onto the Wall
And then jogged the full length of the thing.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9702
To build, and involved miles of tears:
Oh God how they died
To raise up its height,
Just hoisting the bricks past their ears.
--- Matthew Montchalin
Of ramparts of rocky stone tiles,
And it keeps on going,
Like a river that's flowing,
Thought parts of it now are just piles.
--- Matthew Montchalin
Aside from odd arches and faces,
Four men could stand there,
Breathe easy and fair,
And walk to each side in ten paces.
--- Matthew Montchalin
Much better than a holly-thorned hedge.
Shih-Wang thought it up,
From the leaves in his cup,
And later, when watering his ditch:
--- Matthew Montchalin
And so shall a wall of great size,
With boulders and rocks
And stone-building blocks,
And slaves who are used as though flies."
--- Matthew Montchalin
But zigzags at times, in correction,
And blocks off the path
Of nomads en masse,
For whom they desired some protection.
--- Matthew Montchalin
Ascending four moutainous grades,
It once closed off plains
Of horsemen with reins,
Fierce Mongols in horse leather suedes.
--- Matthew Montchalin
Might well have made lots of good sense,
Persuading invaders
And horse-riding raiders,
To stay on their side of the fence.
--- Matthew Montchalin
Under point of sharp spear, or duress,
A million or more
To work until sore,
And die as though pawns, as in chess.
--- Matthew Montchalin
It reminds me of that old sweet song,
That I heard in a disco
About San Francisco...
Hang on -- I thing I've got that wrong.
--- Bill Wall
Must all learn to sing a new song.
Will the ones who won't sing
Disappear from the ring?
I guess we'll all know before long.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And performed the new national song.
He grabbed at his crotch,
And looked at his watch,
Saying, "Sorry guys, this is 'So Long'."
--- Arthur Deex P9709
A chap wed a girl called Ping Pong.
Her mother, Ping Pat,
Was such an old bat,
The marriage went horribly wrong.
--- Funfax Limericks
And lambs will not get that much finah,
Till approved by the Koran
Or "Made in Japan"
Or folks start to read them in China.
--- Anon
With a cute little lady from Peking,
And intend to up-end her
And give her pudenda
The sort of attention they're seeking.
--- Michael Horgan
Knows where to buy things with their wages.
At the nearest hotel,
Ring the bell captains bell,
And then look for the yellow pages.
--- Tom Patton P0209
As part of his doctrine implant.
The little Red Book
Was his personal look
At a life with a quite different slant.
--- Doug Harris
This is file jpm
On this route; he should keep his remarks.
How so? Tongue-in-cheek
And be true to the clique,
If he wants to get very top Marx.
--- Doug Harris
Spent the night in a sty with a sow.
He awoke with a song,
Saw his cock had grown long,
So he screwed her and then took a bow.
--- Don Moore
Had names that just wouldn't do.
Bu became Buck,
Chu became Chuck,
And Fu just returned to Kiangsu.
--- TuttaGioia
Was seized by acute melancholia;
When the Chinese asked why,
He could only reply:
"You'd chop off my head if I tolia."
--- Ogden Nash
It kills old folks, kids, and their Ma's.
Hong Kong's in the thick,
But the Chinks aren't as sick
As the vectors of filth in "gay" bars.
--- Alexander Baron
Find a blend of the old and the new.
You'll see few folks rotund
As you stroll down the Bund;
(That's the sea wall that fronts the Wangpoo.)
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9702
First virgins that I ever knew,
Were a curious lot
Who tempted me not
As much as their dowery to woo.
--- E J Quinby P8902
He put his brood at my disposal.
"You take Tu Yung Tu,
Or perhaps Tu Dum Tu,
Or try Noh Yen Tu on approval."
--- E J Quinby P8902
I elected to hurry away,
And hide aboard Ida,
So on the next tide, a-
Way down the coast to Malay.
--- E J Quinby P8902
"The Chinese military are here.
We'll sell them our yaks
For Chinese Greenbacks.
In each case, they get a bum steer."
--- Thomas M Patton P9712
Brought Tibet the greatest enjoyment.
Males, from minors to gramps
In concentration camps,
Solved the problem of unemployment.
--- Thomas M Patton P9712
Lived in a Chinese pagoda,
Till a tyrant named Mao
Said, "I live here now,
And you, sir, have no home to-go-ta."
--- Keith Gilman P0112
Has changed, is no longer disputable.
Though your male Asiatic
May remain enigmatic,
The women are not all inscrutable.
--- A N Wilkins P9212
To premature words. Akihito?
The name of Japan's
Current Emperor? Man!
Time for etymological veto.
--- Rory Ewins Q
As the last Kamikaze, a claim
Few historians doubt,
For they note that the lout
Was one Chicken Suzuki by name.
--- A N Wilkins P9206a
Is the talented girls they call Geisha.
They pour tea and dance
And the men they entrance.
They're not born, it's the way they raise ya.
--- Tom Patton P0609
As soon as you've got her undressed,
You'll find when her mouth
Is aimed at the south,
Her pussy is facing due west.
--- Norm Storer P9212
Are dressed up but have nowhere to go.
The exchange of the dollar
Makes all tourists holler;
When girls ask, they're politely told no.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Tried to save up some yen in a can.
You never can say
What you may have to pay,
When a geisha starts waving her fan.
--- Anon
In Japan, land of the Rising Sun,
Not one soul could surpass
Those wee folk, who en masse
Were well know as the sawed off Shogun.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9803
A stranger in a strange land.
She couldn't get laid
'Cause she just wasn't swayed
By men only as tall as her hand.
--- Leslie Melcer
I saw Leslie's cruel verse and was hurt.
At five foot two,
What else can I do
But hope for another growth spurt.
--- Kohta Ueno
And its message there needs no decodering,
For both women and men
Have a yen for more yen,
And have sent there PM Hashimotorings.
--- Knotweed
I heard her say, "Morny, tune sore-bees."
This Japanese doll
With my wakeup call.
She really meant "Morning, room service."
--- Al Willis P9802
Watched Japanese men disembowel
Themselves with a sword,
They couldn't afford,
And mop up the slop with a towel.
--- Armand E Singer 502
Had 180 say, "Yes."
Who was it said "No,"
George Dubya, you know,
Caused everyone else some distress.
--- Tony Burrell
To help to reduce greenhouse gas.
We ain't yet choking
But you're still smoking.
Ain't seen the light yet, alas.
--- Tony Burrell
He'll carry on 'til everywhere stinks.
Saying, "It don't matter,
We're all getting fatter;
My Daddy said that," and he winks.
--- Tony Burrell
That's one more vote you haven't won.
You are President,
Not the sole resident,
So Georgie boy, get off your bum.
--- Tony Burrell
If there's a flame there, you will fan it.
Now you can play your part;
Don't let Dubya fart,
And greenhouse gas up the planet.
--- Tony Burrell
Said, "I can speak with my fan.
This flick of my wrist
Says I've never been kissed,
And this flutter tells just how I can!"
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Has a policy problem to sip on;
Since 1965
No boys have arrived;
But the 'mum throne, a girl cannot sit on.
--- Dr Limerick 12-01-01
But in fact it's a post-war addition;
Pobably just another
Of Douglas MacArthur's
Ideas so high and patrician.
--- Dr Limerick 12-01-01
She returned to continue the fight.
And foul-mouthed Linda,
Tossed the Jap through the winda;
There's a Nip in the air, love, tonight.
--- Linda2 T9711
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