The golden pendant, LAVALIERE,
A gift from her gay cavalier,
Showed Lily's charms best,
Exposing her chest
To those who would cavil and leer.
--- Daniel Ford

LAVATION, I'm prompted to say,
When practiced with care every day,
Relieves ready mess,
Restores cleanliness,
So dogs won't sniff crotches that way.
--- Chris Papa

I've never made love on a train,
Until that occasion in Spain.
But now that I have
Made love in a LAV,
I don't wish to do so again.
--- Nick

Washing dirty hands in LAVATION,
Might just be doctor's great salvation.
Reducing infection
Beyond detection;
Keeping SARS from grateful nation.
--- Daniel Ford

Each morning he performed his ablution
Using a rather caustic solution.
This form of LAVATION
Caused much abrasion
And a diminishment of his constitution.
--- Norm Brust

The wind-sheltered side is called LEE,
Where smugglers and snugglers go spree,
Enjoying protection
And oft resurrection
Of wants, that caused both you and me.
--- Daniel Ford

When small sailing on lake or sea,
The hands stationed there at the LEE,
With sudden gust feel
(Unless there's large keel)
Their backs and rear ends quite soggy.
--- Chris Papa

With quick and nimble LEGERITY,
Youth plan to dance to prosperity,
But they often find
Lady Luck is blind;
The dancer's life brings austerity.
--- Daniel Ford

LEGERITY and legerdemain,
Both from France, as is quite plain.
So avoid tricky hands
When in foreign lands,
Or you'll not see you wallet again.
--- Norm Brust

With slick-fingered LEGERITY,
The pick pocket moved with celerity,
Then wallet in tow,
He'd head home and show
The Mrs their new found prosperity.
--- Chris Papa

The Mrs replied with temerity,
How come you this new found LEGERITY?
The last that I knew
It was luck brought you through
And not any gift of dexterity.
--- Bob Dvorak

Support proposition, LEMMA,
Of Jane Austin novel Emma:
When heart strings tickle,
Find self in pickle,
Just another life dill-lemma.
--- Daniel Ford

Young male with the LEONINE mane,
With age is a picture insane.
Pilgaric is he;
As bald as can be.
Rich only in arthritic pain.
--- Chris Papa

Mitzi Gaynor of tight Capri pants,
Almost like our LEOTARD rants,
To display, yet covered
A body, well-lovered,
Or so would that image enhance.
--- Chris Papa

The skin tight cat suit, LEOTARD,
Leaves naught for description by bard,
Who nevertheless tries,
As figures he spies,
Whenever he gets past the guard.
--- Daniel Ford

LEOTARD, a tight leg stocking
When worn by men promotes mocking.
Every bulge shows,
And everyone knows
Whether gun's in need of cocking.
--- Darryl

While dancing a pas de deux hard,
With siren-like svelte of a pard',
Leonard got urges,
Hormonal surges,
Rising up, through the cup, LEO 'TARD. (retarded)
--- Chris Papa

Such a faux pas has Leo Tarred,
So now from dance club he is barred.
The trouble with tights:
Reveal to all lights
The burgeoning dancer's regard.
--- Daniel Ford

LESE MAJESTY some folks pursue;
It's nothing that is very new.
And the best of all,
They say it needs gall,
Since it's something the French like to do.
--- Chris Papa

With so many rabbits out there,
Though I have seen more than my share,
I've never 'et' yet,
Nor with fork touched Mom or Pop's hare.
--- Chris Papa

Dimunitive hare is LEVERET,
As baby jack rabbit, Everett,
High-tailed from the sage
To fame on the stage,
Where no one could bob or sever it.
--- Daniel Ford

Formidably large, LEVIATHAN,
Even greater than gargantuan,
Exacerbates fears
For all we held dear's
At risk of government charlatan.
--- Daniel Ford

LEVIATHAN government rests
On foundation of lobbyers-best
And with campaign donors
Who push the real groaners
That get bills passed at their behest.
--- Chris Papa

He said, "I'm the brightest light seen.
'Twould be nice if my name might have been
"LEVIN" or such,
Since I do not care much
To go by the name of Levine."
--- Chris Papa

I don't wish my readers to vex,
With mind that's preoccupied sex.
I try to annul,
The tendency dull,
One gets with bald, unadorned lex.
--- Chris Papa

"Let the punishment fit the crime,"
Has been around a very long time.
But please don't phone us
Just because we used a false rhyme.
--- Norm Brust

Though I am a victim of Chronus,
I still hew to LEX TALIONIS.
If you step on me,
It's easy to see,
You'll get your groin kicked as a bonus.
--- Chris Papa

A mad monk with habits extreme,
Spoke only one word and one theme.
From his cave he'd call,
To let one and all
Know, "Love" was his longing LEXEME.
--- Chris Papa

Street speech has an often-heard theme;
It's based on a vulgar LEXEME.
No, it isn't "suck",
Nor is it "schmuck",
Though it's rooted in the same phoneme.
--- Norm Brust

The poet remembers his LEXIS;
His brain musculature he flexes.
In his cerebellum
He'll find ways to tell 'em
About the new war of the sexes.
--- Win

Ever-growing English wordbank, LEXIS,
Is disparaged by French as nexus
Of garbage and dump,
On which to place rump,
Though reasons confuse and perplex us.
--- Daniel Ford

LIBERTINE is a word that might be
Confusing to someone like me.
These fanatics, it's true,
Would likely tell you
Their real goal in life... to be free.
--- Maggie

Our country's political scene,
Has office-holders, who've been
Using their perks
As skirt-chasing jerks;
Each debauched as sex-LIBERTINE.
--- Chris Papa

This is file ill

The freely loving LIBERTINE,
Immortalized in travertine,
Has passion in torrents,
As D. H. Lawrence
Showed in Chatterley serpentine.
--- Daniel Ford

The prayers which the LIBERTINES sought,
Come only with those that are caught.
When you then reach them,
And try to impeach them,
Their partisans save with shield taut.
--- Chris Papa

Celestial back and forth, LIBRATION,
Unlike molecular vibration,
Takes long to follow,
Seems planets wallow
In orbital peregrination.
--- Daniel Ford

The word for today is LIBRATION,
On balance an oscillation.
I'd rather it be,
If for you and me,
Some smooth and heady LIBATION.
--- Chris Papa

Think Gilbert smart? You be he,
Sullivan, gave his LIBRETTI.
The pair then combined,
Inextricably twined,
Like-a meatballs, and-a spaghetti.
--- Chris Papa

The poetry for songs, LIBRETTO,
Include topics strange as stilletto,
Which does in Carmen
Become disarmin',
Causing tenor to sing falsetto.
--- Daniel Ford

Licentiousness is a French thing.
And they don't need grape juice for fling.
Their famous life style,
Much practiced, sans guile,
Is more than too much wine can bring.
--- Chris Papa

I'll cheer new administration,
Due in two years in this nation,
Cigar snickerish,
Lacking all good moral suasion.
--- Chris Papa

Lascivious Willy's LICKERISH;
Plies girls with cigars and licorice.
Tsk tsk tongues cluck cluck --
Like water off duck.
The critics find willy Slickerish.
--- Daniel Ford

New Pres won't go out on a limb,
To say "I'm much better than him!"
Ten times more quicker-ish,
To admit that they're well-versed in sin.
--- Karen

A roue who roamed the LIDO,
Lived by this libertine credo:
"I invent these games
To please all the dames,
And to please my enlarged libido."
--- Chris Papa

When Emily strolls on the LIDO,
She'd do better hewing to credo
Of selective grandeur
And choosing a gander
Who waddles along in Tuxedo.
--- Daniel Ford

Habitues of beach's Lido
Operate from a different credo:
Their one goal in life
Is to avoid all strife,
But find out what is under the speedo.
--- Daniel Ford

An eager young "guinea" named Guido,
Paraded himself on the LIDO,
In hopes that he might
Attract maids in sight
To provide love that they just might need-o.
--- Chris Papa

A suave Venetian named Guido
Sought out "sweet stuff' on the LIDO.
"Only grand dames will do.
I virgins eschew;
They're too poor and inclined to bleed-o."
--- Chris Papa

All day he strolled the LIDO,
A potato stuffed in this Speedo.
But no girl did he fool
With his bogus tool,
And it made it impossible to pee. Doh!
--- Norm Brust

Fashionable beach resorts at LIDO
Sport many young men in Speedo,
Who will charm and strut
Like all males in rut,
Giving expression to libido.
--- Daniel Ford

Emily, American frigid,
Longed for a male object, rigid.
Then one day on the LIDO
She tumbled on Guido,
Who had anything but a midge id.
--- Chris Papa

He was left on the Lido of Love;
A shipwreck of sex, or thereof.
Despondent until,
He'd soon get his fill
From hookers, with much push and shove.
--- Chris Papa

Just as soon or gladly, sense of LIEF
Has for the most part, come now to grief,
Except for the girl
In the bedroom whirl,
Who would lief turn over a new leaf. (Ericsson?)
--- Daniel Ford

There once was a fellow, well hung,
With Antaean talents among
His feats of love making;
Though widows oft taking,
Said he would as lief make them young.
--- Chris Papa

The question of LIFE seems to be
Unanswered; still a mystery!
No one ever comes back,
So answers we lack.
If you have one....send it to me!
--- Maggie

Description, delineate, LIMNING,
Will help picture feast and trimming,
But without the smell
It's incomplete spell
Is like some waterless swimming.
--- Daniel Ford

A LIMPET obsessively clings,
And so great dependency brings,
Like 30-year kids,
Who'd be on the skids,
Without Moms to supply all things.
--- Chris Papa

They shared something precious and dear
Which had lasted for many a year.
Like a summer stream
In the sun's bright gleam,
Their love was LIMPID, warm and clear.
--- Kitten

In seduction attempt right insipid,
He referred to her eyes as quite LIMPID.
She just laughed at the lump
In his shorts, just a stump;
And crestfallen, he found that it limp-ed.
--- J'Carlin

LINIMENT might take care of an ache
But there's something more it might take.
Say, a soft caress
From a gal who says, "Yes,"
And give you an even break.
--- Barb

The liberties you take are great;
LINIMENTS go on the outside, mate.
Though thick potion pink (Pepto Bismol)
In gut, I would think,
Might sooth all insults from your plate.
--- Chris Papa

Is it true that your cooking's abysmal?
Brothers, my efforts are even more dismal.
Even the dog would slink
And whine for the pink
Of gut LINIMENT, Pepto Bismol.
--- Phil Kinay

LINIMENTS help ache and pain,
Just be sure the drops do no rain,
Between your soft thighs,
Because the surprise
Will be more than you can sustain.
--- Chris Papa

A LIPOGRAM will writer fetter,
Though writing just may not be better;
The prefix suggests
It is meaning best
Saved for a very fat letter.
--- Chris Papa

This LIPOGRAM may elicit a howl;
Some folks will throw in the towel,
As they try to divine
My sneaky design.
It concerns the alphabet's last vowel.
--- Norm Brust

LIPPITUDIC, you teach me much, dearie,
Didn't know words for eyes bleary,
Like those after drinking,
Or excessive thinking,
Or crying jags that are not cheery.
--- Chris Papa

The smooth straight hair called LISSOTRICHOUS
Will not be found on birds ostrichous.
No, they are feathered,
Not furred or weathered;
Friends whose strange hiding will not trick us.
--- Daniel Ford