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KLUDGE, seems to reek of word KLUTZ,
Though invented by computer nuts,
Should appy to those guys,
Elected, not wise,
We vote in, who think with their butts.

(system with illmatched components - Jackson Granholme 1962)
--- Chris Papa

Most citizens have thoughts KNEE-JERK,
When we our pols see with wee perk,
Which we often feel
Is too big a deal,
To reward one who's just a wee jerk.
--- Chris Papa

Reactionary response, KNEE-JERK
To a great deal where hidden fees lurk.
I think like a bull
Understandable:
The dealer does his full duty shirk.
--- Daniel Ford

A Times columnist with the mind of a clerk,
Has views entirely knee-jerk.
Without help from the left
He'd be totally bereft,
And would have to find some honest work.
--- Norm Brust

The bric-a-brac we call KNICK-KNACKS
Is now valued, through kick-backs,
As collectors' treasure,
But whose taste we measure
By increasing need for sick-sacks.
--- Daniel Ford

One must be soryy for the Kurd.
In three countries, he's less than a third.
If these thirds were conflated,
Kurdistan would be rated
A real nation, not merely a word.
--- Norm Brust

A slice of Turkey the Turks do buffet,
As to spider did Li'l Miss Muffett --
No eating curds and whey,
But beating Kurds away
And hoping UN won't say, "Stuff it!"
--- Daniel Ford

You'll KVELL to all, "Such a deal!
I tell you, this suit is a steal.
What? I should lie?
I think you should buy!
I'm giving it away like shlemiel!
--- Phil Kinay

It's quite common for investors to KVELL
When their stocks are doing well.
But their sense of pride
Tends to subside
When their broker warns, "Sell before the bell!"
--- Norm Brust

I think it is perfectly swell
That I'm permitted to kvell
About my grandkids.
But who would take bids:
A grandma with pics? Run like hell!
--- Barb

Grandparents do constantly KVELL
'Bout grandkids, who they think are swell.
Even those that can't cope,
Are addicted to dope,
Bad citizens straight out of hell.
--- Chris Papa

Grandparents the great KVELLERS,
In all of terrestrial dwellers,
They see only good
In the neighborhood,
Of their own offsprings' young hellers.
--- Chris Papa

I KVELL for my spouse's new part
Inside of his tired old heart;
To have come from a sow,
It's, instead, from a cow.
No matter. It's state of the art.
--- Elois

He had trouble with valve to aorta;
It was "big time", not maybe or sorta.
Those docs at Umass
With knowledge and class,
Put a hold on his date with la mort(a).
--- Elois

When wed to a nag, you must tell her,
"That KVETCHING's no good, you dear Heller.
And if you persist,
I'll not use my fist,
But will lock you up in the whine cellar."
--- Chris Papa

I don't think of myself as a lech;
Butts and boobies my glances do fetch.
I like T & A,
But the girls won't play,
So I sit and I whack off and kvetch.
--- Eric Seaberg

It's not in my habit to KVETCH
When asked to get something, to fetch.
A cup for the boss,
Does not make me cross;
I just piss in it so that she'll wretch.
--- Eric Seaberg

The person who keeps on KVETCHING
Is not someone I would term "fetching."
It is such a drag
To hear them all nag.
Sometimes the condition is catching.
--- Barb

With lover's LABILITY low
And rise to tumescence quite slow,
Samantha's sad date
Would easily rate
As dullest of guys she would know.
--- Chris Papa

Lip ornamentation, LABRET,
May become with young, a favorite.
But flesh encrusting
With steel's disgusting.
I'd prefer not to belabor it.
--- Daniel Ford

LABRET piercing guarantees
Strange looks and occasional tease.
But some say it rules
To pierce family jewels,
That way you won't lose your car keys.
--- Darryl

I'll tell you this; keep it between us,
That when a hot, litho-lipped Venus
Like Monica plays it,
There are few that praise it,
'Cause it can be tough on the penis.
--- Chris Papa

The full, pouting lips of the LABROSE,
Produced by injections adipose
With the surgeons dagger,
Look like Mick Jagger,
And are often considered jocose.
--- Daniel Ford

I've nothing against ladies LABROSE
But I think those stone disks are gross.
With even light chatter,
The create a clatter,
And God help us if the gal is verbose.
--- Norm Brust

Ubangi gal we'd discover,
If on the scene we would hover,
Feels it's her duty
To get LABROSE beauty,
Inserting stone discs for her lover.
--- Chris Papa

In maze of tunnels, LABYRINTH,
Supported by column and plinth,
The return to follow
Is aided by swallow
Of the cathartic colocynth.

(colocynth - cucurb plant source of strong cathartic)
--- Daniel Ford

In LABYRINTH there's a way out,
If you're a smart hero, no doubt.
Thought the alley's full
Of more than just bull,
With those that just didn't have clout.
--- Chris Papa

Lena, a LACHRYMOSE lass,
Her tears, like full bladder, she'd pass,
But mostly from joy,
From sex with a boy,
Who thought her good wet piece of ass.
--- Chris Papa

I too, would be lachrymose
If Dr Papa were to diagnose
In little old me,
A nasty STD,
Saying Norm, you've got a dose.
--- Norm Brust

In opera, that guy with a frown
Who's singing with heart breaking down,
In standard stage plot,
More often than not
Is just on more LACHRYMOSE clown.
--- Chris Papa

The Yankees were glad Willy Mays
Did not play for rowdy Oakland A's,
Whom they could oft trounce
And out of race bounce,
With a few homers and double plays.
--- Daniel Ford

On weekends I dress like a slob,
The better to eat corn on the cob.
Enjoying treats maize-icle,
With mood LACKADAISICAL,
I escape from the madding mob.
--- Norm Brust

Sometime LACKADAISICAL love,
Where partner need pull, or a shove,
Will move with fine wine,
And come-on supine,
All helped by a mirror above.
--- Chris Papa

This is file iml

In these days with speed supersonic,
Our speech, too, has gotten LACONIC.
Maybe, just as well,
As far as I can tell,
It's contents are brisk high-colonic!
--- Chris Papa

Judge not the soft spoken LACONIC
As someone who might be moronic.
For expression terse
Can be heard as verse,
Which may foster friendships platonic.
--- Daniel Ford

LACONIC, a real short hand trope,
To describe ones' attempt to cope,
With conversant dull,
With two words in skull,
One's "yup" and the other is "nope".
--- Chris Papa

At Oxford, the late Warden Spooner
Transposed his first syllables sooner.
At dinner, when pissed,
This mystery hissed
Out something -- excuse the lacuna.
--- Nick Lanyon

A virtuous lass from Laguna,
Was given a rare coat of vicuna,
By a casting producer
Who tried to seduce her,
But got locked from the delta's LACUNA.
--- Chris Papa

Small holes in tissue, LACUNAE,
Ought to make substances puny,
But not enough to tame
The substantial frame
Of singer Rosemary Clooney.
--- DMF 7I98

To some, LADY BOUNTIFUL's best
For helping folks who are not blessed
With means to get by.
But I know a guy
Who thinks it refers to her chest.
--- Chris Papa

The generous LADY BOUNTIFUL,
Maybe noblesse oblige dutiful,
Was quite abundant
(That is redundant)
And whatever looks, was beautiful.
--- Daniel Ford

The Baker's Dozen is a LAGNIAPPE
To make customers feel less a sap
For paying high price
On cupcakes and rice
In Manhattan bistro's tourist trap.
--- Daniel Ford

Katrina was no great LAGNIAPPE,
Dumped Pontchatrain in New Orleans' lap.
A total blunder,
The city washed under;
Buried in mountains of crap.
--- Chris Papa

Small bonus or "boner" perhaps
A LAGNIAPPE might be, for some chaps
Who've paid dear for beer,
Loud music to hear,
And have a babe dance in their laps.
--- Gary Happock

Two decades post forty-two war,
I went to Japan on a tour.
Got a lagniappe pin,
Cloisonne on tin,
Thirty bucks twelve years hence in a store.
--- Elois

The men never left with a scowl.
Unlike other hookers on prowl,
the lovely Lenore,
Gave service more;
A LAGNIAPPE, quick wash and a towel.
--- Chris Papa

Lagniapping, lest you forget
Can land you in purveyor's net.
But the unwitting say "Gee!
This is nice and it's free!"
Subsequent purchases land you in debt!
--- Barb

The doctrine of bold LAISSEZ-FAIRE,
Creates wealth right out of the air.
From where, I can't see;
It won't bother me,
Just as long as I get my share.
--- Chris Papa

A LALAPALOOZA, great stuff,
Of which there is never enough.
I like it, and how;
It beats "Holy Cow!"
Which is both sacreligious and gruff.
--- Chris Papa

With butterfly kisses so LAMBENT,
She covered her lover till ram bent
To her desires
And now he sires
All her lambs, who frolic where Sam went
--- Daniel Ford

In cartoons, ideas are marked by
A lone LAMBENT bulb in the sky.
But when Edison thought,
The old drawings caught
A flickering oil lamp on high.
--- Chris Papa

He sees love in a LAMBENT glow,
And is ready to altar go.
Post honeymoon then,
Transformed to mad hen,
Wonders, "Where did my sweetie go?"
--- Chris Papa

Politicians sure get a free ride,
Except when they're on airways fried
In TV LAMPOON,
Which suits each buffoon
With comedy that's true and tried.
--- Chris Papa

I recall in the old days of yore,
That among stuff you bought in the store,
Products infinite
Had lanolin in it,
Or contained chlorophyll in the core.
--- Chris Papa

Well I polished my shoes with such stuff,
And thoroughly used often enough,
To produce a fine
Respectable shine,
They never got LANATE, or rough.
--- Chris Papa

LANDLOPER is waft' by the breezes;
Moves just wherever he pleases.
Or lady, perhaps,
Who sleeps with the chaps,
Dispensing kisses and squeezes.
--- Chris Papa

The trial of "Slick Willy" did end,
By Senators loathe to offend.
LAODICEAN stance,
To censure they dance.
As for justice, why they just pretend.
--- Chris Papa

Sing Nonny and Derry Down Derry;
She's off with her skilled LAPIDARY.
He was so base,
That she won her case.
Cash, gems and cars will her make merry.
--- Barb

He longed for the loose LAPIDARY
With talents most extraordinary;
Who never was rough,
When playing in buff,
In positions that always would vary.
--- Chris Papa

LAPIDARY found husband not true.
Removed jewels, first slice went clean through.
In emergency room,
She said, now filled with gloom,
"I just did what stone cutters must do."
--- Elois

LAPUTAN's like playing with dolls,
Except that in Congress, cabals
Spout for pious creeds,
To serve their own needs,
With President worst of fall pols.
--- Chris Papa

Neglect of needed, LAPUTAN,
There's not no need or disputin'.
The Congress transfixed
By redactive tricks,
Manipulating Rasputin.
--- Daniel Ford

Occasionally work would intrude
On cowboy's extreme LASSITUDE,
At which time ranch boss
Would approach on hoss,
And say, "Just lasso it, Dude!"
--- Chris Papa

When weariness becomes LASSITUDE,
I find it affects my attitude;
Increasing languor
Keeps me in the hangar,
Avoiding all life's vicissitudes.
--- Daniel Ford

Some LATITUDINARIANS dwell
On this Earth, with some zealots as well.
Of contrarian views,
The fate that I'd choose
Is that both will meet down there in Hell.
--- Chris Papa

I bought you this nice LAVALIERE
To show great affection, my dear;
A mere bagatelle
For my lady swell.
Now won't you please stroke me right here?
--- Chris Papa


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