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Unless it's from really strong drink, He felt he was in Utopia; As any old word meets our ken, Somewhat of a rhymster I am; The Greeks knew how to revel all right; DIAERESIS, helpful can be, A recent affair of the state, In marriage good union applies. Varieties diverse are DIVERS, Don Juan, gent of DIVERS doing, DOCH-AN-DORRIS, for some that skedaddle, The farewell drink called DOCH-AN-DORRIS She wed what she thought was "old fossil," At work the man was rather DOCILE; The DOCTRINE OF SIGNATURES does hold I've been called a "DODECAGON rare." A bit of old doggerel says, The heat of this summer's long DOG DAYS The way I get through the DOG DAYS In midwest we called them DOG DAYS. DOG DAYS in mid summer abound; When DOLOR of Life makes one smart The pain, grief, and sorrow of DOLOR, To tear hymen is DOLOROUS act. The large screaming headlines all say Their morals all stained like fly specs, Our abode is a DOMICILE, The men at the DONNYBROOK fair Whenever they tumble and fight DONNYBROOK, fight is a bubblin', An irate old wife showed great anger, DOPPELGANGER in mirror I see. To the bank John Smih rushed in a fright; Men like to give all DORSAL pat; Backside or topside is DORSAL (counterclockwise)
The DOUBLE ENTENDRE's invention All hail to the Limerick Muse! You should listen to hearty tales The fearless and valiant are DOUGHTY; A daredevil dude that I knew, I once watched your DOUGHTY-deed dude, The "hump" of the dowager dame, The siren of old's now a frump: Which, to me, seems a bit of a shame, A rich heiress started to feel, In congress, rank goes to the DOYEN, A most revered leader's a DOYEN, A DOYENNE of dolls, Madame Blanche, (Mustang Ranch - famous bordello outside Reno, Nevada, USA)
The most senior woman claims DOYENNE, That Strangeloving doctor named "No", Dr Strangelove was a funny spoof; Dr Strangelove is a scary sort, As fanatical Dr. Strangelove, A DRAGOMAN, needed by most The DRAGON'S TEETH of election, The seeds of strife, aptly DRAGON'S TEETH, If like Cadmus, you plant DRAGON'S TEETH, Seeds of strife left behind, DRAGONS TEETH, Take care how you sow DRAGON'S TEETH, Politicians, there's nothing beneath; A Shakespeare-hating DRAMATURG Before Dave made his home in a cave, DRAWCANSIR, reason to doubt 'em, Old Dave the famous necromancer, The potvaliant braggart, DRAWCANSIR, To help sail through sweet married life, Court actions are more than DREARY;
Diplopia's bad, for I think
Your system, it shocks.
Consult paradox;
They'll fix you up quack as a wink.
--- Gary Hallock
Two ladies, a cornucopia.
Thought he'd bedded two,
But the eye doctor knew
'Twas merely horny DIPLOPIA.
--- Chris Papa
We slip in some sex, now and then.
At which I take heart,
Though it will impart,
Idea we are dirty old men.
--- Chris Papa
But result might not be dithyramb!
Maybe something a bit rude
Or deemed a tad crude!
Like, "Wham-Bam, Thank you, Ma'am!"
--- Barb
They'd drink wine and play all the night
And spout DITHYRAMB,
While spreading each gam,
Being careful to lick and not bite.
--- Chris Papa
In scanning line of poetry,
Or vowel position,
But to physician,
DIURESIS, is lots more "pee".
--- Chris Papa
With Madonna served up as 'plate',
For President randy,
Who thought she was dandy.
Now papers proclaim, "DIVAGATE!"
--- Chris Papa
Should DIVARICATION arise,
The result's disaster
For mistress and master;
No DIVARICATION of thighs.
--- Chris Papa
As oft found in company strivers,
Where jerks various
Do deeds nefarious --
Those miscreant, dirty connivers.
--- Daniel Ford
Started with friendly yoo-hooing,
But ended each night
With maidens in flight,
Pursued by hard Don, bent on screwing.
--- Chris Papa
May help to make hunters' brains addle.
But guys in real life
Share drink with the wife,
Before they hop into the saddle.
--- Chris Papa
Is favored by all the clan Morris.
And those who drink up
The wee stirrup-cup,
Ere mounting to ride through the forest.
--- Daniel Ford
Who'd behave on dates in a mode DOCILE.
But, once they were wed,
He wore out the bed,
With sex play that she called "Colossal!"
--- Chris Papa
Colleagues thought him much like fossil.
But playing his horn
From midnight 'til morn,
Patrons thought his jazz quite colossal.
--- Gene
That glittering things could be gold;
That first impressions
Hold through all the sessions,
And against a "winner", you fold.
--- Daniel Ford
Though some might complain, "That's not fair!"
I don't mind it a bit;
But say it's a fit
And much better than being called "square."
--- Chris Papa
That the best time for sex plays
Is in nippy Fall
To frolic and ball,
But never in Summer's DOG DAYS.
--- Chris Papa
Is often compounded by smog haze.
Though named for Sirius,
These hot days serious
Are risky for those of the jog craze.
--- Daniel Ford
Is to reach for a couple of ice trays,
Then I take off my shoes,
Mix the ice with some booze,
And stretch out on my favorite chaise.
--- Norm Brust
In SF by contrast the fog lays
All over the hills,
Creating such chills;
It's no wonder some live in a grog daze.
--- J'Carlin
Good neither for man nor for hound.
Exhaustion their levy,
Hot, humid and heavy.
You can't do much but mope around.
--- Chris Papa
And fills the chest with heavy heart,
Bring in the sun's rays;
Start singing, I say.
Make happiness your work of art.
--- Chris Papa
Compounded by an inflamed molar,
May drive one insane
Or to verse inane,
Though we can hope for something droller.
--- Daniel Ford
Fellatio leaves it intact,
Saves virginity.
The kids all agree;
History supports them in fact.
--- Larry
Our schools show DOLOROUS decay;
Poor in "3-R's" part.
The kids are sex smart,
And do things the Bill Clinton way.
--- Chris Papa
Fellatio fiends, one suspects;
They think it okay
The President's way;
Oficially it just isn't sex.
--- Chris Papa
The place we live with little style;
With payments struggle,
Before fire snuggle,
Then shower: clean fun on smooth tile.
--- Daniel Ford
Would frequently fiddle an air.
They'd empty the glasses
And tumble the lasses
And scrap in a heap in the square.
--- Eva Amata
And drink and carouse in the night
And carry on madly,
Behaving quite badly,
They call it a DONNYBROOK, right?
--- Eva Amata
Producin' a melee that's troublin'.
It name-fame enshrined,
But never you mind,
It could just as well be a "Dublin".
--- Chris Papa
'Cause her hubby old wouldn't bang her.
She prayed to her gods
For, above all odds,
Mate who was stud DOPPELGANGER.
--- Chris Papa
I can't believe that guy is me.
With hair shocking white
And skin not as bright
As my envelope used to be.
--- Chris Papa
His account was suspiciously light.
It is truly a shame
That his simple plain name,
Is such a DOPPELGANGER's delight.
--- Frank
This is file ihl
Mens' backs, where the action is at,
While women, they feather
In a region nether,
That's filled with more sensual fat.
--- Chris Papa
For animals that start as mere morsel,
But it's another story
For plant morning glory,
Whose twining vines grow up dextrorsal.
--- Daniel Ford
That logophiles easily mention
Is best when ribald,
Not pecked or quibbled,
Delivered with dual intention.
--- Daniel Ford
Our verse she will often enthuse
With DOUBLE ENTENDRE,
To focus each wanderer
On Pentatette form that we use.
--- Chris Papa
Of those doughty Inuit males
Whose backones of starch
Take them out in March,
To land a couple of whales!
--- Barb
Never quavering, wan, or pouty.
They do stand their ground
Until backup's found
Or till their old joints turn too gouty.
--- Daniel Ford
Did dumb doughty deeds, quite a few.
With banana peel slip,
He fractured a hip.
In wheel chair he's quite reckless, too.
--- Chris Papa
Sit fishing through ice in the nude.
Though his hip was okay,
His ass froze, by the way,
And the words that he said were most crude.
--- Elois
I'm certain it isn't the same
As the one that one "figgers"
Nor does it mean preggers;
That's gibbous too, but she's too tame.
--- Gary Hallock
Spine shortened, a gnarled GIBBOUS stump,
Which goes by the name,
In lexicon's game,
Of descriptive, "dowager's hump."
--- Chris Papa
Though owning a sex life quite tame,
Depicts a tart's fun,
(She may have been one),
To one whose a quite proper dame.
--- Chris Papa
That she was quite "DOWN-AT-THE-HEEL",
When stock market fell,
She said, "What the hell,
This year's mink coat will be seal".
--- Chris Papa
Not in wisdom but time in the cloyin'
Job of repaying
Backers whose braying
Kills chances that sense he's employin'.
--- J'Carlin
But that's only if he's a boy 'n'
Should she be a queen,
I would call her DOYENNE.
I suppose that's a job she'd take joy in.
--- Gary
Helped sexual frustrations to staunch.
She made lots of cash,
'Til girls got a rash.
She now toils at the "Mustang Ranch".
--- Chris Papa
As the dean of troupe tragedienne,
Not a mere actor
With an age factor,
But with experience making men.
--- Daniel Ford
Wasn't fond of James Bond, but we know
He loved his white cat.
So it's clear to me that
There was Pussy Galore in that show.
--- Gary Hallock
Morbid humor was not a goof.
Fail safe satirized,
Book and film disguised,
In which, no kidding, world goes POOF!
--- Larry Falk
Who thinks nuking folks is a sport.
And will, if not checked,
Lead to a world wrecked,
Cutting Homo erectus span short.
--- Chris Papa
Peter Sellers could only unglove
The tight, evil fist
That all of us hissed,
As Slim Pickens rode down from above.
--- Daniel Ford
When visiting a foreign host.
Investment you'll make
For a baksheesh take,
Else your guide will become a ghost.
--- Chris Papa
Now honed to an edge of perfection,
May pol or two stay.
But in perverse way,
Our land loses in the selection.
--- Chris Papa
May come from wife who fashions her wreath
Of thorny holly.
In horny folly
She lures mate to lie underneath.
--- Daniel Ford
Make sure that the soil underneath
Has plenty of manure,
Then you'll be quite sure,
That warriors will rise from the heath.
--- Norm Brust
Described in plays of deeds on the heath,
Soon undid Macbeth
And still taints the breath
Of Scots chafing in the English sheath.
--- Daniel Ford
Lest danger be pulled from it's sheath.
With malice, it's so,
A rumor can grow
Into a funereal wreath.
--- Kim
Their odious campaigns bequeath.
Among their worse sores,
Horrid class wars,
And other hateful DRAGONS' TEETH.
--- Chris Papa
Could never resist his dark urge
To cut the plays short
And make them the sort
In which modern slang he might splurge.
--- Chris Papa
He was a bully, a braggart, a knave.
This odious DRAWCANSIR,
A failed romancer,
Now doesn't even bother to shave.
--- Norm Brust
Loud claims, they will even shout 'em.
With rantings impure,
Of this I am sure:
The world's a better place without 'em.
--- Chris Papa
Would never be called a DRAWCANSIR.
He prefers quiet
For his sex diet,
And fears that drink might lead to cancer.
--- Daniel Ford
For every event has an answer.
With each tip of the can,
He grow more a fan
Of himself and more a flawed dancer.
--- Daniel Ford
Free from fierce frown and sad strife,
Select your spouse new
And seek to eschew
Lass likely to be DREADNOUGHT wife.
--- Chris Papa
Rulings have been less than cheery.
Partisan throughout,
Makes for lots of doubt.
Of such decisions I am leery.
--- Larry Falk
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