MORE

"If the shoe fits, wear it." you've heard;
Witty turns of the phrase with a bird.
Sees Foo above deck,
Where covered with DRECK,
One's life, no doubt, goes undeterred.
--- Daniel Ford

Companies are touting Direct Dial
As calling tool for needs erectile.
Though pictures obscene,
Pornographic scene,
Might better be called only DRECK Dial.
--- Daniel Ford

In the womb even when we're pre-natal,
Our future is set, like the DREIDEL.
We each get one spin
But once we begin,
We know the results will be fatal.
--- Gary Hallock

The DREIDEL, a four-sided top,
Is the tool for fate-playing hop.
Much like spinning bottles,
It teeters and tottles,
Till by chance it falls there, kerplop.
--- Daniel Ford

There are some who think Teddy is great;
That blob from the great Northeast state.
But then there are others
Given their DRUTHERS,
Who view him as degenerate.
--- Chris Papa

My foreman just called me a twit.
His behavior as boss isn't fit.
This job really stinks;
I'm up for some drinks.
If I had any DRUTHERS, I'd quit.
--- Bob Dvorak

If I could have had my DRUTHERS
I would have had older brothers
To give me advice
About finding some vice,
But the only advice was my mother's.
--- Norm Brust

When "I'd rather" becomes "My DRUTHERS,"
The slathered speech spoken by Southers
Creeps into usage
As quaint abusage,
Of the Queen's English of our mothers.
--- Daniel Ford

Just listen to sweet Ann' Nicole,
Quite zoftig is she on the whole.
But her awful tongue
Sure sets her among
The Sternbergs, just out of control.
--- Chris Papa

When guys act the way that they must,
Enamoured of some lady's bust,
They get buxom blonde,
And nothing beyond.
Her output is all DRYASDUST.
--- Chris Papa

The peddler of baubles, a DUFFER,
Had success, quintessential bluffer,
Who nevertheless
Found himself in a mess
Because he was a diverse muffer.
--- Daniel Ford

Con dolcezza mean "play it nice".
Which inspired old Mrs Rice
To name her daughter
But I think she ought a
Have used DULCET, a simpler device.
--- Norm Brust

They say Love speaks in DULCET tones,
But when sex its urgency loans
To a coupling pair,
I think that it's fair
To state that Love oft speaks in groans.
--- Chris Papa

A statement of fact you may quote,
That with cough, I usually vote,
In manner unfickle,
To treat sore and tickle,
with DEMULCENT lozenge for throat.
--- Chris Papa

Spotted, piebald, chestnut, and bay are
Charming names for horse, howe'er
Dull name is DUN
Takes all the fun
From working out what color hair.
--- Nancy

A debauched you man on the run,
Screwed everything under the sun.
When married one day,
Just up, ran away.
Mad wife, cooked him, overDUN.
--- Chris Papa

Tanned to extreme is color DUN,
Which skin Docs caution everyone:
Full in the sun burn,
You're done to a turn;
In time you're sure to be undone.
--- Daniel Ford

With fishing lure call the BlueDUN
Poor trout doesn't have much fun.
With just one small bite,
Time for fight and flight --
He'd much rather just bask in the sun.
--- Sue

This could be our lucky day, Grace,
For I've staked all our cash on this race.
I'll make you my spouse,
And buy a big house,
When the DUN horse comes off in first place.
--- Townmouse

I fear you must brace yourself, Muller,
For our future will likely be duller.
It isn't our DUN
Which appears to have won --
It's a horse of a different color.
--- Townmouse

DUNDREARIES, much hair on the face,
As seen in past times, other place,
Made Elvis seem clean,
As well as Judge Bean,
Put General Burnside in his place.
--- Chris Papa

Sideburns far down the jaw, DUNDREARIES,
These days would garner many queries,
For such mutton chops
May be seen on cops
In some off-the-wall TV series.
--- Daniel Ford

DUNKIRK's emergency extrication
Relieved a rather dire situation.
The saving of troops
By fishers and sloops,
Stands tall in the mind of the nation.
--- Daniel Ford

A cave-dwelling hermit would lurk,
Near where ladies passed by to work.
He'd flash with his frock,
Provoking great shock,
And exit quite a la DUNKIRK.
--- Chris Papa

DUNKIRK evokes sadness and pride;
Emotions we have to abide.
May there be no more
Dunkirks as before,
No matter the cause or the side.
--- Elois

When creditors come DUNNING,
They try to be clever and cunning.
But to every disguise,
Poor debtors are wise --
And very soon off and running.
--- Sue

Though "Old Norm" is surely no prude,
Once in twelve years he is quite lewd.
DUODECENNIAL
His attempt, any'll
Fit schedule for when he gets screwed.
--- Chris Papa

I once had a quite horny cousin,
Who screwed all of his sisters, a dozen.
His DUODECIMAL labors
Became known to the neighbors,
And set the whole town a-buzzin'.
--- Norm Brust

Many a DUPLICITOUS scheme
Just starts off as a lover's dream
To make some money,
So he can take honey
For more that just soft ice cream.
--- Darryl

In Law it's considered felicitious,
To speak in a manner DUPLICITIOUS.
If we couldn't lie,
We'd never get by;
In prison you'd all have to visit us.
--- Chris Papa

Pointed deception, DUPLICITOUS,
As some marketeers solicit us,
Is the practice sort
Which ought to be tort
For those lawyers so solicitous.
--- Daniel Ford

When all the hamburger's become wurst,
The sausage will demand that my thirst
Be quenched by some beer,
From wenches so dear,
And daring to do all they durst.
--- Daniel Ford

Going DUTCH, means having to share
The cost in a way that seems fair.
Though when on a date,
You don't get to mate,
And must to your own means repair.
--- Chris Papa

This is file igl

With diaphragm rather than pill,
Susanna surrendered to Will.
With this, inasmuch,
She thought she'd gone dutch,
But he just meant splitting the bill.
--- Nick

My old girlfriend would never go DUTCH.
She was stuffy and didn't care much
For a boy who'd not pay.
She was oft heard to say,
"You can look but you mustn't touch."
--- Norm Brust

When young, I'd not date very much,
But never went dutch, not as such;
But If I would touch
A gal very much,
I'd get myself quickly in dutch.
--- Gary Hallock

You may not have known there was such
A thing as an auction called Dutch.
And if you don't see
That backwards it be,
You'll win but you'll sure pay too much.
--- Gary Hallock

"Hey buddy, please lend me your ear."
Hear this and you maybe should fear
That what EARWIGS said
Might go to your head,
So first have them buy you a beer.
--- Gary Hallock

The meddling whisperer is EARWIG,
A vigilant pest who is here big,
Butting bugs in the ear
'Bout what we should hear,
And never paying for a beer swig.
--- Daniel Ford

Do you know what lobbyists do?
In legislatures they're quite a few.
And on the laws big,
They try to EARWIG
Pol, as voters can't seem to do.
--- Chris Papa

Northern Ireland with trepidation
Greets another step as a nation.
With hope eternal
That lads infernal
Won't keep trying for subjugation.
--- Daniel Ford

Christianity from Jews arose
To emphasize God's grace for those
Who reflect the love
As given above,
For they will surely in peace repose.
--- Daniel Ford

The roof overhang we call eaves,
If wide enough, you will find relieves
The wall-washing rain,
But the mildew stain,
So often the poor homeowner grieves.
--- Daniel Ford

The purpose of my houses's EAVES
Is to clog up with many years leaves.
A nice place for nest
Of a hornet pest,
Who owns the whole place, it believes.
--- Chris Papa

This story you'll think is absurd,
Like one that is told by small bird.
A large roof's outcropping
May soon be eaves dropping,
At least that's what I overheard.
--- Gary Hallock

An EBRIOUS Senator old
Ran through a stop sign, we've been told.
His car, a ram striker
Of innocent biker;
A well-earned jail term may unfold.
--- Chris Papa

EBULLIENT means bubbling with joy;
Nice, but too much can annoy.
Enough is OK,
But bubble all day,
They'll lithium, on you employ.
--- Chris Papa

Illegal aliens sure sprout
Like ECDEMIC disease that's about,
While our INS creeps
And the Bureau sleeps,
Unable to find and throw out.
--- Chris Papa

ECDEMIC certainly depicts
All those touristy traveling hicks,
Who look for Aurora
Amd with anger will gore ya,
When you tell them, "In summer it's nix!"
--- Barb

Hey! They came just to see all the sights,
And it's your fault that those lights
Are not on display,
During long summer day
In Alaska. Ignorance reaches new heights!
--- Barb

On walkway a new plant appeared;
It wasn't one planted and reared.
Dan explained ECESIS,
Since doctoral thesis
Made him damned smart, I'm afeared.
--- Chris Papa

In new ground established, ECESIS,
Reinforces Charles Darwin's thesis.
That the intruder's gain
May cause incumbent pain.
They all flourish without emesis.
--- DAniel Ford

The crabgrass appears on my lawn
As reliably as the dawn.
The ECESIS I once fought,
Sod and seed I bought,
But now I just greet it with a yawn.
--- Norm Brust

As you wait in rear ECHELON ranks,
Away from the mortars and tanks,
I'll be by your side.
I have nothing to hide.
Offered chance to show guts said, "No thanks."
--- Phil Kinay

Each ECHELON rung of a ladder
Is easily scaled as a matter
Of course. If you step
With much verve and pep,
Which thin folks do quicker than fatter.
--- Gary Hallock

PUSILLANIMOUS and with spirit wan,
The guys in the rear ECHELON
Stayed away from the fray
And avoided D-day,
And did not help to liberate Caen.
--- Norm Brust

The men "in the van," woe-begone,
Doomed troopers of muscle and brawn,
So I'd rather be
Just waiting safely
With those in the rear ECHELON.
--- Chris Papa

In various styles so ECLECTIC,
We craft our verse in lines electric
To challenge readers
Beyond mere feeders
Into a daily dialectic.
--- Daniel Ford

Folks viewing our household hectic,
Might soon become apoplectic,
For on the walls viewed,
While nothing is lewd,
It's art that's obscure and ECLECTIC.
--- Chris Papa

Our hunger for oil, EDACIOUS,
Drives Big Oil's exploits, rapacious.
Nigh's the day
The Piper we pay.
Still, our room for denial's capacious.
--- Phil Kinay

An old man with an appetite EDACIOUS,
Was possessed of a waistband quite spacious.
'Twas most due, may hap,
To a wife who would cap
Off each meal with desserts most bodacious.
--- Bob Dvorak

Insatiable eater EDACIOUS
Will soon pass beyond mere curvaceous
To increasingly fat.
But I woudn't say that,
For with my girth, it seems ingracious.
--- Daniel Ford

There once lived an old Scot mendacious,
The laird of a manor quite spacious.
Though he had the dough,
He eschewed the "ho",
But for haggis he was EDACIOUS.
--- Chris Papa

The professor sought to EDIFY
A fair student, and, while at it, try
To further his chance
To get in her pants,
But bold moves she'd bravely deny.
--- Chris Papa

In order to not be remiss,
We must build a moral edifice.
So together we ply
Sinners to EDIFY.
Do you really believe any of this?
--- Norm Brust

The shrew to soften, EDULCORATE,
May require some plans elaborate
To sweeten the sour,
The demeanor dour,
And tendency to expectorate.
--- Daniel Ford


MORE