MORE
A Montreal madam named Lillian There was a young lady named Wright, There was a young man named West, Cripps worked in Bahrein, a recluse. An old spinster whom life had made mellow, There was an old man named Mahooty There was an old whorehouse on Mars, A mortified fellow named Ray, The madam, a seasoned old whore, In Crete I got drunk on hard cida, Whenever we moved, Colonel Strauss, Build a one-story whorehouse, 'tis said. The cowpoke said, scratching his dome, I'll tell you about Cowboy Dave: There's Christine, Lynne, Maggie and Kay, They say "Dave, you surely can figure, ...Than what's hung on Harry or Martin, "In this brothel, what's most irritating," Down the street, there's an old Grand Hotel The doorman -- it's still the same pal, To get in, you first ring a bell. In Geelong, old Fanny Lou Mae There was a cat house in Skidoo, (Supposed to be in the Death Valley, CA, area)
A young man deprived of young women, When I knocked on Miss Millicent's door To the cat house up Christopher Alley That only with Sally I'll dally.
Remember that night in Algiers The whore house nearby in Tucson At a commercial hotel in Concord At the brothel the other day, I entered a room with Denise; Then into the room came Chloe; Then entered the girl we call Tickle; Then came a girl named Adelph; Observed an old stager named Wade, Farinelli, that musical bloke, Though no signal was ever more trite, Why hadn't he gone to Diane's, Just then some illegal Kazakhstans So there he was, ear cocked to Roseanne's, This orgy takes place each year, right What's odd about Rudy, roue, Oh Father! I have a confession! In a Brooklyn sextrap, a young buck An insomniac young fellow named Hatches, I said palindromically: "Madam, The Madam hauled off and bopped him. "They're not there to exercise, mate. There once was a lady named Alice The busiest girl without doubt There was a young madam named Stonely At Mike Jackson's, the time for a yawn There's a jock down in south Pocatello The brothel was cleaned to good taste, "Halloween", said a madam named Hicks, An otherwise normal young fellow A Russian gent touring abroad, The lady removed all her raiment No longer did she have to roam, She proudly condoned her caprice; Her thoughts being geared to expansion, She still was the sordid purveyor There was a young whore from Azores; A transexual post-op named Brenda, In Washington, Madam LaBlunt An accomplished young lady in Natchez
Had opened an Expo pavilion.
Six harlots worked there,
With a dog for a spare,
And their clients were over a million.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1159
Who simply could not sleep at night,
Because of the ping-
Ping-ping of her spring,
And the glare of her little red light.
--- John Ciardi
Who stayed as an overnight guest,
In a brothel in Spain.
"May I come back again?"
He said, "Will you keep me abreast?"
--- Observer
After years of discreet self-abuse,
He furloughed to Soho
And in a rococo
Bordello, let everything loose.
--- Gents Alphabet Book P9608
Bought a piece of a high-class bordello.
"I am not," she'd impart,
"An incipient tart.
I'm just trying to meet the right fellow."
--- Anon
Who found in a whorehouse a beauty.
But his wife was a whore
With a room right next door,
He was torn between love and his duty.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0256
Where the girls were all kept behind bars.
They were all quite ferocious,
And their needs were atrocious,
And they carried the johns out in jars.
--- Neal Wilgus P8511
Complained to the madam one day,
"All your girls are Grade B.
Some have pox, I see,
And I came here expecting Grade A.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1739
Replied, "You buy meat at the store,
That's derived from 4-D's,
Which is Dead or Diseased
Or Disabled or Disjunct. So what's new?"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1740
Then went to a girlie provida.
She said, "How 'bout Sue?"
I said, "That won't do...
I've longed all my life to Mount Ida."
--- Anon
A notorious rake and a souse,
First ordered his orderly
(Pride of the Fleurs-de-Lys),
"Find the nearest disorderly house."
--- Laurence Perrine P9206
Not for two or three stories instead.
A one-story's best,
And the reason you've guessed:
Not as much fucking overhead.
--- Theo M Heller P9205
"The place where the buffalo roam
Has no women about,
So I know beyond doubt,
I prefer a cathouse to a home."
--- Grand Prix Lim 722
Although he's one foot in the grave,
He runs the Ship Inn,
A palace of sin,
And it's a fine place for a rave.
--- Anon
They work there for almost no pay.
And boy how he lusts,
For their glorious busts,
But they won't let him have it away.
--- Anon
With Zak, Tony, Mike, Fred and Trigger.
You must think us simple,
To prefer your poor pimple;
Your belly's all you have that's bigger...
--- Anon
Or Spider. Our legs we'd be partin',
For all of that crew,
But alas, not for you;
You'd be finished just as we were startin'.
--- Anon
She said, "is the men copulating.
Very few have the flair
Of true savoir faire.
The others are just masturbating."
--- A N Wilkins P9205
Which years ago, looked pretty well.
Now the guests only stay
For an hour, let's say;
What goes on in there, I couldn't tell.
--- Big Mama
Who was there when the house was still swell --
Is now wearing a gun
Sure looks like not fun,
And every one just calls him Al.
--- Big Mama
Inside someone is raising hell.
Pretty girls, far too flirty,
Speak words that are dirty
(I believe that their bodies they sell).
--- Big Mama
Had a boat in the back of Backbay.
She had a large hoard
Of young ladies on board;
They were open for business all day.
--- Woody Dykott
That was perched on a peak for the view.
But the miners who climbed it,
Seemed never to mind it,
For the girls always knew what to do.
--- J A Mc
Did visit a whorehouse in Drimmin.
He walked in the joint,
With his pecker 'on point',
And the sperm in his ballocks was brimmin'.
--- kathiw@innet.com
In search of a lay, she got sore:
"You addled old souse,
This ain't a whorehouse--
It's only the house of a whore!"
--- Norm Storer P9205
I trots me each night to see Sally.
If she's busy upstairs,
Others flash me their wares,
But she's so good at patient, two-hour affairs,
--- Grand Prix Lim 671
When we polished off three dozen beers
And all eight ugly broads
At 'Fatima and Maudes'.
How our memories fade with the years.
--- Martin Wellborn P9505
Lays their overflow trade on the lawn.
The cock and cunt fights
Are a sight summer nights,
And we dread the quick coming of dawn.
--- G1879
They offer more than room and board.
They have Rosy and Flora,
Doris, May, Isadora;
The guests are completely over-whored.
--- H Myers T9801
The girls said they wanted to play
A little game
That was very tame;
I'd not have any other way.
--- Puff Adder
A girl who is eager to please.
She raised my erection,
A thing of perfection,
An covered it with cream cheese.
--- Puff Adder
I thought she was going to blow me.
She grabbed my cock,
Then pulled out a crock
And added some paste of anchovy.
--- Puff Adder
She's always been somewhat fickle.
She grabbed my joint,
Right at the point
And deposited a nice gherkin pickle.
--- Puff Adder
This is file hgm
Quite the tantalizing little elf.
She said, "I'll go down."
I gave her a frown;
It looked good, so I ate it myself.
--- Puff Adder
"A real classy place I got laid:
As you leave by the rear,
A stark naked cashier
Takes charge cards and stamps your prick PAID!"
--- Armand E Singer 839
Dropped by Francesca's place for a poke.
Though an affable sort,
He came up a bit short.
So he dressed and went outside to smoke.
--- Joel Cohen
A man doesn't have to be bright--
He may not know beans
To be sure what it means,
Whenever he sees a red light.
--- A N Wilkins P9208a
Or even that parlour, Cheyenne's?
To Crystal in Stoke;
Or old Sadley Broke,
To that lovely Mystical Nan's?
--- Anon
Arrived in six rusty old Luton vans;
Took the Uhlans away
And so paved the way
For Hannes to hold on to his pecans.
--- Anon
"Get down on your knees, sinner Hannes,
And for my tribute
Just peel me some fruit.
Oh, and feed me those sweet marzipans."
--- Anon
At Travis' place with delight.
A display in his yard
As they all fuck real hard,
And the neighbors all have a good sight.
--- Anon
And Ruby who whores on Rue A--
One lives on Rue D,
Of course that's Ruby,
While Rudy on Rue B will stay.
--- Irving Superior P9205
I admit that I have this obsession.
I heard men of the cloth'll
Soon open a brothel,
And I'd just love to have the concession.
--- Popsicle TP9806
Was told by rude Shiela, "Your schmuck
Is just a scheckel to me..."
The buck stammered, "Well gee,
I guess I'm just shit out of luck."
--- Grand Prix Lim 988
Took a room in a whorehouse in Natchez.
He still tossed and turned,
Half the night, but he learned
How to manage by sleeping in snatches.
--- John Ciardi
I'm Adam. Your girls, yes, I've had 'em.
But I sure must complain,
And I won't come again,
'Cause their boobs are so small, they must pad'em."
--- Anon
"I thought you came in here for quim!
If boobs you desire,
Don't need to look higher
Than Barbie dolls down at the gym."
--- Anon
They're just showing off their man-bait.
No brains and no class --
They got tits and ass,
But anything else, they'll frustrate."
--- Anon
Who lived in a whoremonger's palace.
"To you it is bread,"
Fair Alice once said,
"But the staff of my life is a phallus!"
--- Jane D Hughes P9205
In the 3-story whorehouse would pout:
"The reason I'm dragging
Is not all the shagging.
It's those stairs that are wearing me out."
--- Theo Heller P9205
Who saw to it that men were not lonely.
Though the beds were all taken,
Not one was forsaken,
They were let in for standing room only.
--- Albin Chaplin
And retire to the bedroom salon,
Is known to us all,
Though no clocks on the wall;
When the big hand, the little one's on.
--- Hugh Clary
Who's convinced he's a hell of a fellow,
For his wife gives him free,
(And so copiously!)
What she learned in a Texas bordello.
--- Keith MacMillan A041AA
By sweeper McBridle in haste.
For when harlots were idle
They were screwed by McBridle,
As he hated to see so much waste.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1676
"Is a time, girls, to honor guy's dicks.
Since your Johns have spent wads,
I'll reward them with bods,
So tonight you'll be treating your tricks."
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Was barred from the local bordello.
They were less than impressed
By his kinky request,
For two goats and a tub full of Jell-O.
--- Alex Heydon P0410
Nabbed inside Madame B's on Cape Cod,
Told the cops, "For Pete's sake,
I get here by mistake:
I tell taxi I want to get scrod!"
--- Anon
And took on young men for defrayment
Of her new domicile
And she said with a smile,
"One more fuck and I'll have the down payment."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2246
The streets and the alleys to comb.
Though her price was now higher,
She had many a buyer,
And she soon bought a much larger home.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2247
From rentals it gave her release.
She revealed, without guilt,
How her new home was built.
She explained it was built piece by piece.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2248
She shored up her ass with a stanchion.
She kicked out cajolers
And decrepit bung-holers,
And she moved to the town's finest mansion.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2249
Who catered to those who would pay her.
But it all went for naught.
She deserved what she got
When she married His Honor, the Mayor.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2250
Her house had a great many floors.
'Twas the best of bordellos
To suit all kinds of fellows,
And it kept all street-walkers indoors.
--- Albin Chaplin
Bought an Argentine-coast hacienda,
By leasing her loins
To gauchos with coins,
Who brought pieces-of-eight for pudenda.
--- Hugh Clary
For her whorehouse prepared a new stunt.
On her opening day
She wore a bouquet,
While the President ate the first cunt.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0846
Made wonderful crumpets in batches.
And asked the men in
For crumpets and sin,
Which they savored and relished in snatches.
--- Limber Limericks
MORE