There was an old whore name of Jane
Who made a fast buck with no strain.
She had twenty, one hour,
And she said in the shower,
"I've been riding the old gravy train."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1553

Retail merchants will always profess,
When selling a coat suit or dress
Or a dollar cigar
To a luxury car,
To merchandise means fiscal success.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun

A smart hooker took their advice;
Her price structure's really quite nice.
If a "john" brings a friend
To whom she can tend,
The second guy rides for half price.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun

The hooker named Annabelle Lee
Approached golfers around the last tee.
If the foursome wanted fun,
She would service each one,
But Lee would charge only for three.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun

The hooker named Mary Ann Rice,
Took the Long Island Railroad's advice.
Said the trade-savvy whore,
"Between ten and four,
All seniors can ride for half price."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun

The smartest girl, Mary Jane Niles,
Has her loyal "johns" beaming with smiles.
She arranged with Jet Blue
And Mastercard too,
For her program of frequent-fucker miles.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun

A simple young fellow was Stubby;
The harlot he married was grubby.
"Every day," he said, "Shirley,
You must leave your work early,
And save the last piece for your hubby."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1673

The call girl went up to room 10
And found out that seventeen men
Has worked up a pot
If she' service the lot,
So she stripped off and snickered, "Say When!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 125 P8504

A Do-It-Yourself-er was blue;
His projects did not seem to do,
Till he took his screwdriver
Two tens and a fiver,
And went out to purchase a screw.
--- Jemstone P0101

A carpenter's part of ship's crew;
Looks after the screwdrivers, too.
A canny old sort,
When the ship gets to port,
He knows where to shop for a screw.
--- Jemstone P0101

When Natasha signed on to ship's crew,
I asked Skipper what jobs she would do.
Said the Captain, "Natasha's
For hauling the ashes
Of horny old stokers like you!"
--- Jemstone P0101

She entertained men of all nations,
Causing various and sundry sensations.
When asked, "Are those dozens
Of callers your cousins?"
She said, "No, just my sexual relations."
--- Grand Prix Lim 431

A big ship came into Cork Quay,
Full of sailors just mad for a lay!
The whores of the city
Rushed on board without pity,
In their hurry they smashed the gangway.
--- Linda Marsh Coll

That gal just could not take the hassle;
Flew to England to see Windsor Castle.
And with those palace guards
Didn't find it too hard,
To survive as she sold them her asshole.
--- Anon

An overworked harlot named Wren
Who I used to go see now and then
Said, "Old Speedy McGrew
Will arrive here at two...
So you know I'll be free by two-ten.
--- Grand Prix Lim 558

A hefty old harlot named Flynn
Was fat and ugly as sin.
But she cried in defiance,
"I can take no new clients,
For I fear I am spread far too thin."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1516

A hooker who works in Berlin
Told her last-minute john with a grin,
"My schedule's quite tight;
To refuse you's not right;
Come at seven and I'll squeeze you in."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0408

Said a john from the previous night,
"Pardon me if I seem impolite.
She's as busy as can be,
But it's a mystery to me,
'Cause it's only her schedule that's tight"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0408

There once was an actress of Bonely,
And the men never let her be lonely.
So she hung out in front
Of her popular cunt,
A sign reading, "Standing Room Only."
--- L1378

A shabby old harlot sold goods
To forgers, embezzlers and hoods;
To judges and preachers,
And Sunday school teachers,
And she fucked them all good in the woods.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1533

A teacher by trade in the day,
At night just a hooker for pay.
If it's not a pop quiz,
It's a bit of hot jizz,
I guess and suppose you could say.
--- Mike Prsnut

A union official, MacLout,
Was having a fine fucking bout.
Twenty fucks in a row,
And the harlot said, "Joe,
Remember -- it's thirty and out."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1594

Annabel was a girl from Bangore,
Who turned out to be quite a whore.
She went to the states,
Banged up 250 mates,
From the video, you could tell she was sore.
--- Anon a

A whore named O'Hare was amenable
To taking a dare quite un-penable.
Through one up to nine
She could handle just fine;
Her position was then quite untenable.
--- Pierce Evans

Doing Louise is what you yearn,
But one thing that you should learn:
The best thing to do
Join the end of the queue,
And bloody-well wait for your turn.
--- Anon

At the clubhouse they took in a border,
Who'd fuck all those who could afford her.
With energy she'd burst,
But who to fuck first?
They checked in Roberts Rules of Order.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0503

A patient old strumpet named Flossie
Lay back on a bank soft and mossy;
There she waited all day
Till it showed up her way --
The whole goddamned horny town posse!
--- Armand E Singer 508

There was a young madam named Burke
Who had an affair with a Turk.
She could not see the gent
Who came up for the rent,
She was fully wrapped up in her work.
--- Albin Chaplin

While the harlot was screwing some jerk,
The old landlord came in with his clerk.
He asked for the rent,
But she said to the gent,
"Not right now, for I'm wrapped up in work."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0220

There once was a whore most deluxe,
All the perverts adored her lewd fucks.
She'd beat their tools off,
Let them cunt lap her froth,
Or she'd shit in their face, for two bucks.
--- G1770

To the harlot, the old chimney sweeper
Complained that her prices were steeper.
Said the harlot, nonplussed,
"If for bargains you lust,
You will find that the back hole is cheaper."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0952

A tart who was down on her luck
Accepted a trick for a buck.
When he waxed too erotic
She cried, "Nothing exotic--
A buck gets you only a fuck!"
--- Anon

Said a whore in Lahore to old Chuck,
A-haggling with her for a fuck,
"For ten thousand rupees,
You can have what you please,
But a wank's all you get for a buck."
--- W T Bowser

This is file gsm

There was a sweet thing from Champlain,
Who grants sexual favors insane.
You'd think that she'd laugh
At a buck and a half,
But you don't hear the tourists complain!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Said a hooker to johns in a bar,
"Your concept of price is bizarre:
If you're thinking retail,
It'll cost you a bale --
But (w)holesale is cheaper by far!"
--- Norm Storer P9205

Pam's efforts at raising a buck
Aren't meeting with very much luck.
If she's overchargin',
Not giving a bargain,
She'll have to charge less for each fuck.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was an old Count of Swoboda,
Who would not pay a whore what he owed her.
So with great savoir-faire,
She stood on a chair,
And pissed in his whiskey-and-soda.
--- L1061

There once was a whore named Elise
Who would give everyone a piece.
For just ten dollars cash,
You could get in her gash;
For five she'd just drop to her knees.
--- Dr Limerick 04-19-96

Grins a fey Swedish groupie named Lynn:
"There are Nordics who may not get in.
For a screw sometimes bores
When it's Danish or Norse,
But I sure do put out for a Finn!"

(fin - a five dollar bill - American slang)
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

I once knew a dirty old whore,
Who'd screw me and blow me and more.
But when down on my luck,
She would charge just a buck,
And say, "That's what good friends are for."
--- Bob Birch

Said the Madam, "You want Annie Tillet?"
Said the john, "That's my order, please fill it.
She's the lowest of tramps
But she gives me Green Stamps,
And my wife says she needs a new skillet."
--- Theo Heller P9205

Her therapy never would cease;
It caused every pain to decrease;
And for this appliance
Of physical science,
Her charge was but two bucks a piece!
--- Lance Payne P8305

The once was a young girl named Hicks
Who for money would suck on guys' pricks.
She swallows and spits;
You can feel her tits,
And she is now half price before six!
--- J Keeler

A hooker named Sally May,
Worked hard screwing all day
However during the night
Her price was so right
The customers all yelled "Hoo Ray"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

An exotic young hooker named Lily
Could delight any John, Dick or Willy.
But the best thing she gave
To a pecker named Dave
Was a refund -- for his was a dilly!
--- Lims For Year - 01

A floozie who worked out of Brest
Had her prices tattooed on her chest,
But one day inflation
Swept over the nation,
And she had to work months without rest.
--- Alsops Foibles

If a girl charges fifty or more,
She's rotten, they say, to the core.
Then strange though it seems --
Take the other extreme --
If her price is too cheap, she's a whore.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1612

A prostitute by name of Rice
Was infected by pubic lice.
When she would hump,
The lice would jump,
So she had to lower her price.
--- Tom Patton P9611

An affable tart of Bellevue
Said, "While I'll go to beddy with you,
I'd prefer a rich jerk...
It'd be the same work,
And he'd cough up more dough than you do!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 292

You cheated! And now you appease,
With a taint that's infested with fleas?
Please keep your puss hidden,
Since skank is forbidden
And downwind I'll faint in the breeze.
--- Allen Wolverton

There are some sweet girls in the boonies;
They'll blow you for three or four loonies,
Out in the back,
For lack of a shack,
Discount rates for the "businessman noonies."
--- Dudesdead

There was a young lady from Butte,
Who acted a little too cute,
Especially for
A five-dollar whore
In a house that lacked even repute.
--- John Ciardi

There was an old whore name of Gudgett,
Who said to a man, "Don't begrudge it.
If you come each week thrice,
I will lower the price."
He said, "No, I must live on a budget."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1541

There was a young fellow of Butte,
Who differed with a prostitute,
As to what he should pay;
So she met him halfway,
And said, "Sir, I'm not prone to dispute."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1464

Amy, the odd little duck!
She sure likes to suck and to fuck.
Asked her roommates,
"Amy just ate?"
She'll eat one again for a buck.
--- Arden

A hard-up old harlot of Lucknow
Remarked, "If you don't have a buck now,
And you fancy my crater,
You can pay sometime later,
And I'll give you one half of a fuck now."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1588

There was a young woman named Gwen
Who said she would fuck for a fin.
I know it's hard knocks
But I got the box
That the sweet little cherry came in.
--- Greger101

A woman there was named Godiva,
Ambitious, hard-working -- a striver.
Just screwing around
Wasted time, she had found,
So she charges each fellow a fiver.
--- Isaac Asimov

Foolishly did Joy de Doler
Let gentlemen pay to pole her.
Without any sense
Charged one hundred cents.
You could have her for only a dollar!
--- Archie

Her daddy has carefully taught her
To be an obedient daughter.
She gives all she's got
For a dollar a shot,
And she'll tickle your balls for a quarter.
--- Michael Horgan

There was a streetwalker named Duckworth,
Whose ass was not even one fuck worth.
She offered young Clive
Her ass for a five,
But all he could take was one buck worth.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1496

I brought home a two dollar whore;
She promised to make my dick sore.
She didn't have change,
Her snatch had the mange,
So I threw the bitch out the door.
--- Gene Brady

There once was a man from Brougham,
Who told hookers that he like to screw them.
Imagine his luck
When they said, "Just five bucks,
But you have to pay for the room."
--- Brian Marlin

A destitute prostitute, Pru,
Has a wonderful bargain for you.
For the price of a fuck,
With minimal luck,
She'll polish your spectacles too.
--- Norm Storer P9611

When the harlot a man did entice,
He agreed and exposed his device.
As it dropped to his feet,
She exclaimed, "What a meat!
Just for you I will lower the price."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1504

There was an old whore from Hoboken;
A slump had her girls all heartbroken.
She then tried a new caper
With an ad in the paper,
And the price was reduced with a token.
--- Albin Chaplin