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There was an old whore name of Jane Retail merchants will always profess, A smart hooker took their advice; The hooker named Annabelle Lee The hooker named Mary Ann Rice, The smartest girl, Mary Jane Niles, A simple young fellow was Stubby; The call girl went up to room 10 A Do-It-Yourself-er was blue; A carpenter's part of ship's crew; When Natasha signed on to ship's crew, She entertained men of all nations, A big ship came into Cork Quay, That gal just could not take the hassle; An overworked harlot named Wren A hefty old harlot named Flynn A hooker who works in Berlin Said a john from the previous night, There once was an actress of Bonely, A shabby old harlot sold goods A teacher by trade in the day, A union official, MacLout, Annabel was a girl from Bangore, A whore named O'Hare was amenable Doing Louise is what you yearn, At the clubhouse they took in a border, A patient old strumpet named Flossie There was a young madam named Burke While the harlot was screwing some jerk, There once was a whore most deluxe, To the harlot, the old chimney sweeper A tart who was down on her luck Said a whore in Lahore to old Chuck, There was a sweet thing from Champlain, Said a hooker to johns in a bar, Pam's efforts at raising a buck There was an old Count of Swoboda, There once was a whore named Elise Grins a fey Swedish groupie named Lynn: (fin - a five dollar bill - American slang)
I once knew a dirty old whore, Said the Madam, "You want Annie Tillet?" Her therapy never would cease; The once was a young girl named Hicks A hooker named Sally May, An exotic young hooker named Lily A floozie who worked out of Brest If a girl charges fifty or more, A prostitute by name of Rice An affable tart of Bellevue You cheated! And now you appease, There are some sweet girls in the boonies; There was a young lady from Butte, There was an old whore name of Gudgett, There was a young fellow of Butte, Amy, the odd little duck! A hard-up old harlot of Lucknow There was a young woman named Gwen A woman there was named Godiva, Foolishly did Joy de Doler Her daddy has carefully taught her There was a streetwalker named Duckworth, I brought home a two dollar whore; There once was a man from Brougham, A destitute prostitute, Pru, When the harlot a man did entice, There was an old whore from Hoboken;
Who made a fast buck with no strain.
She had twenty, one hour,
And she said in the shower,
"I've been riding the old gravy train."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1553
When selling a coat suit or dress
Or a dollar cigar
To a luxury car,
To merchandise means fiscal success.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
Her price structure's really quite nice.
If a "john" brings a friend
To whom she can tend,
The second guy rides for half price.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
Approached golfers around the last tee.
If the foursome wanted fun,
She would service each one,
But Lee would charge only for three.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
Took the Long Island Railroad's advice.
Said the trade-savvy whore,
"Between ten and four,
All seniors can ride for half price."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
Has her loyal "johns" beaming with smiles.
She arranged with Jet Blue
And Mastercard too,
For her program of frequent-fucker miles.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
The harlot he married was grubby.
"Every day," he said, "Shirley,
You must leave your work early,
And save the last piece for your hubby."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1673
And found out that seventeen men
Has worked up a pot
If she' service the lot,
So she stripped off and snickered, "Say When!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 125 P8504
His projects did not seem to do,
Till he took his screwdriver
Two tens and a fiver,
And went out to purchase a screw.
--- Jemstone P0101
Looks after the screwdrivers, too.
A canny old sort,
When the ship gets to port,
He knows where to shop for a screw.
--- Jemstone P0101
I asked Skipper what jobs she would do.
Said the Captain, "Natasha's
For hauling the ashes
Of horny old stokers like you!"
--- Jemstone P0101
Causing various and sundry sensations.
When asked, "Are those dozens
Of callers your cousins?"
She said, "No, just my sexual relations."
--- Grand Prix Lim 431
Full of sailors just mad for a lay!
The whores of the city
Rushed on board without pity,
In their hurry they smashed the gangway.
--- Linda Marsh Coll
Flew to England to see Windsor Castle.
And with those palace guards
Didn't find it too hard,
To survive as she sold them her asshole.
--- Anon
Who I used to go see now and then
Said, "Old Speedy McGrew
Will arrive here at two...
So you know I'll be free by two-ten.
--- Grand Prix Lim 558
Was fat and ugly as sin.
But she cried in defiance,
"I can take no new clients,
For I fear I am spread far too thin."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1516
Told her last-minute john with a grin,
"My schedule's quite tight;
To refuse you's not right;
Come at seven and I'll squeeze you in."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0408
"Pardon me if I seem impolite.
She's as busy as can be,
But it's a mystery to me,
'Cause it's only her schedule that's tight"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0408
And the men never let her be lonely.
So she hung out in front
Of her popular cunt,
A sign reading, "Standing Room Only."
--- L1378
To forgers, embezzlers and hoods;
To judges and preachers,
And Sunday school teachers,
And she fucked them all good in the woods.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1533
At night just a hooker for pay.
If it's not a pop quiz,
It's a bit of hot jizz,
I guess and suppose you could say.
--- Mike Prsnut
Was having a fine fucking bout.
Twenty fucks in a row,
And the harlot said, "Joe,
Remember -- it's thirty and out."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1594
Who turned out to be quite a whore.
She went to the states,
Banged up 250 mates,
From the video, you could tell she was sore.
--- Anon a
To taking a dare quite un-penable.
Through one up to nine
She could handle just fine;
Her position was then quite untenable.
--- Pierce Evans
But one thing that you should learn:
The best thing to do
Join the end of the queue,
And bloody-well wait for your turn.
--- Anon
Who'd fuck all those who could afford her.
With energy she'd burst,
But who to fuck first?
They checked in Roberts Rules of Order.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0503
Lay back on a bank soft and mossy;
There she waited all day
Till it showed up her way --
The whole goddamned horny town posse!
--- Armand E Singer 508
Who had an affair with a Turk.
She could not see the gent
Who came up for the rent,
She was fully wrapped up in her work.
--- Albin Chaplin
The old landlord came in with his clerk.
He asked for the rent,
But she said to the gent,
"Not right now, for I'm wrapped up in work."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0220
All the perverts adored her lewd fucks.
She'd beat their tools off,
Let them cunt lap her froth,
Or she'd shit in their face, for two bucks.
--- G1770
Complained that her prices were steeper.
Said the harlot, nonplussed,
"If for bargains you lust,
You will find that the back hole is cheaper."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0952
Accepted a trick for a buck.
When he waxed too erotic
She cried, "Nothing exotic--
A buck gets you only a fuck!"
--- Anon
A-haggling with her for a fuck,
"For ten thousand rupees,
You can have what you please,
But a wank's all you get for a buck."
--- W T Bowser
This is file gsm
Who grants sexual favors insane.
You'd think that she'd laugh
At a buck and a half,
But you don't hear the tourists complain!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"Your concept of price is bizarre:
If you're thinking retail,
It'll cost you a bale --
But (w)holesale is cheaper by far!"
--- Norm Storer P9205
Aren't meeting with very much luck.
If she's overchargin',
Not giving a bargain,
She'll have to charge less for each fuck.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who would not pay a whore what he owed her.
So with great savoir-faire,
She stood on a chair,
And pissed in his whiskey-and-soda.
--- L1061
Who would give everyone a piece.
For just ten dollars cash,
You could get in her gash;
For five she'd just drop to her knees.
--- Dr Limerick 04-19-96
"There are Nordics who may not get in.
For a screw sometimes bores
When it's Danish or Norse,
But I sure do put out for a Finn!"
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Who'd screw me and blow me and more.
But when down on my luck,
She would charge just a buck,
And say, "That's what good friends are for."
--- Bob Birch
Said the john, "That's my order, please fill it.
She's the lowest of tramps
But she gives me Green Stamps,
And my wife says she needs a new skillet."
--- Theo Heller P9205
It caused every pain to decrease;
And for this appliance
Of physical science,
Her charge was but two bucks a piece!
--- Lance Payne P8305
Who for money would suck on guys' pricks.
She swallows and spits;
You can feel her tits,
And she is now half price before six!
--- J Keeler
Worked hard screwing all day
However during the night
Her price was so right
The customers all yelled "Hoo Ray"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Could delight any John, Dick or Willy.
But the best thing she gave
To a pecker named Dave
Was a refund -- for his was a dilly!
--- Lims For Year - 01
Had her prices tattooed on her chest,
But one day inflation
Swept over the nation,
And she had to work months without rest.
--- Alsops Foibles
She's rotten, they say, to the core.
Then strange though it seems --
Take the other extreme --
If her price is too cheap, she's a whore.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1612
Was infected by pubic lice.
When she would hump,
The lice would jump,
So she had to lower her price.
--- Tom Patton P9611
Said, "While I'll go to beddy with you,
I'd prefer a rich jerk...
It'd be the same work,
And he'd cough up more dough than you do!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 292
With a taint that's infested with fleas?
Please keep your puss hidden,
Since skank is forbidden
And downwind I'll faint in the breeze.
--- Allen Wolverton
They'll blow you for three or four loonies,
Out in the back,
For lack of a shack,
Discount rates for the "businessman noonies."
--- Dudesdead
Who acted a little too cute,
Especially for
A five-dollar whore
In a house that lacked even repute.
--- John Ciardi
Who said to a man, "Don't begrudge it.
If you come each week thrice,
I will lower the price."
He said, "No, I must live on a budget."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1541
Who differed with a prostitute,
As to what he should pay;
So she met him halfway,
And said, "Sir, I'm not prone to dispute."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1464
She sure likes to suck and to fuck.
Asked her roommates,
"Amy just ate?"
She'll eat one again for a buck.
--- Arden
Remarked, "If you don't have a buck now,
And you fancy my crater,
You can pay sometime later,
And I'll give you one half of a fuck now."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1588
Who said she would fuck for a fin.
I know it's hard knocks
But I got the box
That the sweet little cherry came in.
--- Greger101
Ambitious, hard-working -- a striver.
Just screwing around
Wasted time, she had found,
So she charges each fellow a fiver.
--- Isaac Asimov
Let gentlemen pay to pole her.
Without any sense
Charged one hundred cents.
You could have her for only a dollar!
--- Archie
To be an obedient daughter.
She gives all she's got
For a dollar a shot,
And she'll tickle your balls for a quarter.
--- Michael Horgan
Whose ass was not even one fuck worth.
She offered young Clive
Her ass for a five,
But all he could take was one buck worth.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1496
She promised to make my dick sore.
She didn't have change,
Her snatch had the mange,
So I threw the bitch out the door.
--- Gene Brady
Who told hookers that he like to screw them.
Imagine his luck
When they said, "Just five bucks,
But you have to pay for the room."
--- Brian Marlin
Has a wonderful bargain for you.
For the price of a fuck,
With minimal luck,
She'll polish your spectacles too.
--- Norm Storer P9611
He agreed and exposed his device.
As it dropped to his feet,
She exclaimed, "What a meat!
Just for you I will lower the price."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1504
A slump had her girls all heartbroken.
She then tried a new caper
With an ad in the paper,
And the price was reduced with a token.
--- Albin Chaplin
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