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Said the hooker to customer, Jack A whore ran a wild place in Chester; A detective by name of O'Conner The other one's not to be trusted, A whore who was very petite, Small breasts had the harlot from Wales, There once was a hooker named Gail, A street bawd arrested in Drury (gam - British slang for fellatio)
A crack whore who landed in jail Here's a toast to my old sweetheart Sal, I know a young lass who's for sale. A vice cop one time did inveigle A wretched old whore of Algiers A harlot, picked up on the street, The daughter of tenant share croppers Cried a harried young hooker named Vi, The neighborhood knew that our Dale A prostitute named Miss Bowers A savvy young hooker named Gail, Said the cop to the hooker, with smile, This hooker who now's behind bars The hooker's a lascivious wench The cop in the callhouse said, "Madam, In the park, in the dark by a yew, A hooker, both famished and willing, There was a young woman named Fay, (A thinking man's sexpot named Fay,)
An efficient young lady of Rome, A practical fellow named Mickey, There was a young girl from Kamloops, There was a professional cutie, A capable harlot named Thresher Said a lovely young girl from old Ecuador, A hardy old whore of Quebec A harlot who lived in Rangoon There was a hot girl from the Saar, Dolores, that sweet little flower, My name is Charity Verosity; I am Charity Verity's niece, A busy young whore from Rangoon There was a young girl of Key West Now hailing from Fawley is Betty, A busy young harlot named Kline Said the beauty who banged at the door, A canny young hooker from Brussels A harlot who was an old kvetch, In Hong Kong a long ago There was a Young Lady of Ryde, When visiting harlots, old Herm Said a greedy old whore from Willamette, A prostitute peddles her wares There was a young whore whose delight There is a young tart named Hornblower Ah Carol, my sweet innocent maid, Wept a blowsy old bawd of her plight: "Well, I only charge ninety-nine cents, The patrons of madam McGrath There once was a beautiful maid Said two hard-working whores of Bucyrus, A tail-for-sale babe named Miss Muffet "Keep prostitutes off of the street!" Said a busy young whore named Miss Randalls, Tomorrow's a paid holiday A harlot one day on a spree There was a young lady named Pryor, A tired young trollop of Nome, A girl who worked British rail stations A bookseller sold "Charlotte's Web" to
"I must give a rest to my crack
I'd be so grateful, honey
If you'd lend me some money
Until I get back on my back"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0506
An officer came to arrest her.
The warrant he waved
Was for action depraved,
But he though it was best that he test her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1468
Made raids on a house of dishonor.
With his timing precise,
He caught girls in his vise;
One was caught with the goods right upon her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1621
Although after her the men lusted.
She led them astray
Then they heard her say,
"Hey, john, hate to tell you: You're busted!"
--- Anon
Who practiced her tricks in the street,
Screwed Butcher McTash
Who was short on his cash,
In exchange for a fine cut of meat.
--- Cap'n Bean P2005
But profits were high on her sales.
She was tried and confined,
For the jury did find
It was fraudulent use of the males.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1689
Busted and sent off to jail.
She liked the jailer
Who wanted to nail her,
So Gail made the bail with her tail.
--- Vol 10
Cried after the trial, in great fury:
"I didn't begrudge
A free grind for the Judge--
The hard part was gamming the jury!"
--- G1778
Was sickly, anemic, and pale.
She wasn't much fun,
But when I was done,
I gave her the cash to make bail.
--- MrMalo
A real down-home old-fashioned gal.
For though once or twice
She was busted for vice,
To me she was always a pal.
--- John Ciardi
She's really a nice piece of tail.
From June to September,
She'll devour your member,
And the rest of the year, she's in jail.
--- Anon
To trap a young lad with whore Speegle.
But the lad turned eighteen
As he blew his nuts clean,
So his climaxing action was legal.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1551
Was hauled into court by her peers,
But the jury dismissed her
For the foreman had kissed her,
And the judge was a month in arrears.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8111
Was charged with dispensing her meat.
She remarked in defense
That she meant no offense,
And she offered the jury a treat.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1670
Was arrested quite often by coppers,
For removing her lacies
For men while at Macy's;
'Twas Audrey, the little whore shoppers.
--- Anon
"So embarrassed am I, I could die!
I've been tossed into jails
From Kamchatka to Wales...
And here I am, locked up in RYE!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 796
Made her living by traffic in tail.
When the cops came to raid,
She was irked and dismayed
For we can't get to Dale while in jail.
--- Grand Prix Lim 582
Was stopped by judicial powers
From smoking in bed,
When the sign clearly read:
"Do not smoke during orifice hours."
--- G2271
Got busted and lodged in the jail.
But the jailer got hot,
To be lodged in her twat,
And so Gail made the bail with her tail.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
"Well now, that's your last trick for a while."
She replied with a wink,
"Hell, some time in the clink
Beats the hell out of servitude penile!"
--- Mike Dale
Got caught sexing clients behind bars.
If they'd want a quickie,
She'd screw or she'd lickee,
But since she had piles, her behind bars.
--- Irving Superior P8911
With libido that no one can quench.
Vice caught her in a trap,
But she then beat the rap,
By fucking the judge on the bench.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0606
Where are all your whores? You sure had 'em!"
Said the madam, "Oh, balls!
They are all out on calls,
Supplying what Eve had for Adam."
--- G1829
Ten flatfeet proceeded to screw
The town trollop, Mae,
And of course didn't pay,
But they did run her in, being through.
--- G1891
Asked a fellow who hadn't a shilling,
If he's swap a fine fuck,
For dinner of duck,
And a cake with a lemony filling.
--- Cap'n Bean P2005
Who took on crotch boarders for pay.
She wore out her insides
With one-dolar rides,
And a hundred and one rides a day.
--- G1783
Began to do piecework at home.
Eight hours a day,
Fifteen minutes a lay,
Neatly timed by the chimes from the Dome.
--- John Ciardi
With harlots was careful and picky.
He refused to take Lizzy
Who was always so busy,
For he found her to be a bit sticky.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1608a
Who took on all soldiers in groups.
She at first made a pass
At the sergeants and brass,
And then later, took on all the troops.
--- Albin Chaplin
Who toiled in a house ill-reputy.
And, although she got tired,
She never was fired,
Because she was always on duty.
--- Thomas Ratliff P0304
Worked hard all day long and felt fresher.
All her clients were fat
But she didn't mind that;
She said she worked best under pressure.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1678
"What leads you to think I'm a whore?
Could it be the latch
That covers my snatch,
Or the box-office next to my door?"
--- Ward Hardman
At the end of the night was a wreck,
From the moans and the trials
Of old farts with piles,
And the bastards who breathed down her neck.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1856
This is file gtm
Fucked Hindus from morning to noon,
But the rest of the day
Was the time to make hay;
For she fucked a whole British platoon.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1646
Who fucked all, from near and from far.
When asked to explain,
She replied with disdain,
"I'm trying to buy me a car."
--- L1054
Had so many men in her power --
He skill was so great,
They just couldn't wait,
So she charged by the minute, not hour.
--- Ardens
I'm dying of my generosity.
I've got a disease
From the giving of ease,
And truth is just nebbish verbosity.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
So I'm Constants Deliverence Piece.
My folks were illiterate;
I must now live with it,
Constantly delivering my crease.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Peddled just oodles of poon-
Tang as she cried,
"I've clients outside!
Come All Ye Faithfull....and soon!!"
--- Anon
Who claimed that her ass was the best.
There were forty marines,
Who were still in their teens,
Who agreed, for they all took the test.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1562
The queen of the oil tanker jetty.
She'll take from the seamen
Both money and semen,
While getting both greasy and sweaty.
--- Anon
Worked daily from nine until nine.
On her afternoon break,
A siesta she'd take,
And she'd hang the "Go Fuck Yourself" sign.
--- Phil Cannibal P9108
"I'm enjoying good business galore!
From my daytime high rate,
I go down after eight,
And give double green stamps, furthermore!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 477
Is given to wearing stuffed bustles,
The better to guard
Her private back yard,
While fronting the crowds as she hustles.
--- Armand E Singer 284
Came nine times with a well-endowed wretch.
Then, with prick twixt her thighs,
She declared between sighs,
"I'd call this the tenth-inning stretch."
--- Anon
About nineteen eighty-five, or so,
I asked for How Long.
She said, "Depends on the Song.
And, how many yen?, and the dough.
--- Anon
Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied;
She purchased some clogs,
And some peek-a-boo togs,
And performed in skin flicks on the side.
--- Edwardian Leer 053
For early appointments was firm.
He was somewhat aghast
At the time he was last,
For the bird that was last got the sperm.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1548
As she ran the army camp gamut,
"I could make a lot more
But I'm only one whore.
I feel like a bottleneck, damn it."
--- Ray A Billington P9312
On corners of streets and gets stares,
From folks who're prestigious
And from those religious,
Who'd like to be earning her fares!
--- Travis Brasell
Was to lure all the men of the night.
She'd entrap them with bets,
Then admire their pecs,
And then stare at the ceiling all night.
--- James Brynildsen
Bangs away in the town's best love store.
She has so many clients
Exercise her appliance,
I have yet to get in her front door.
--- Grand Prix Lim 229
I'm sure that you've never been laid
By more than eight men,
At a time, only then
When you're sure you'll be properly paid.
--- Anon
"Where I once was excitingly tight,
Now I'm loose as a goose
From continual use--
Night after night after night!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 479 G1853
And get fucked by no end of hot gents.
It lures passels of peckers--
They're mostly wet deckers--
And the payoff, per night, is immense!"
--- G1755
Did beat to her door a wide path.
But it kept her so busy,
And it made her so dizzy,
That she never had time for a bath.
--- Albin Chaplin
Who wondered why she should be paid.
So she said to me,
"I'd do this for free,
But then I would starve, I'm afraid."
--- Bill Taylor P9808a
"Twenty-nine times a day rather tire us...
If it weren't for their dough
We would tell johns to blow...
For they haven't done much to inspire us!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 303
Remarked as she sat on her tuffet,
"That tightwad Magee
Wanted what I sell...FREE,
But I told Magee to go stuff it.
--- Grand Prix Lim 238
Exclaimed Councilwoman Ms Treet.
"Last night I kept two off,"
Sneered old Mayor Duboff,
"Tonight I'll perform a repeat!"
--- Travis Brasell
"Men by the dozen, I handles.
When I gets busy,
My cunt gets all jizzy,
And runs down my legs like wax candles."
--- L1048
And some extra time to go play.
But not old Trav's whores,
They'll be on all fours,
'Cause they always get off with pay.
--- Carol
Was fucked by one hundred and three.
She complained she was beat,
But a man on the street
Said "There's plenty of cunt there for me."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1668
Who said to a gentleman, "Sire,
Do not feed me that rot,
I am not to be bought;
If you must know, I'm only for hire."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1639
Was worn out from her toes to her dome.
Eight miners came screwing,
But she said, "Nothing doing;
One of you has to go home!"
--- L1041
In search of some willing male patrons
Said "I just ignore
when they call me a whore."
I say I'm in public relations!
--- Anon
A patriotic young hooker named Sue.
"I'll read this in bed,
While working," Sue said.
So that evening she read White and blew.
--- Michael Weinstein P0305
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