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Now bunny girls, folks say they're phoney, Our Cathy's around about thirty; There a corporate exec, name of Brenda, A race track we have in Clonmel, Curvey Chloe is right on the ball If you were me, what would you do? While talking, her breasts were in view, There was a young steno from Dorset Young Mary was awfully good; (fluttered my putter)
On Monday our office will go She has legs up to here. When she sits, I can't keep my eyes off her firm I'm under her power; in the grip I've hired a new gal, Reeny Reenhorn, There once was a lady named Weazy, That upwardly mobile Ms Cumming While she cannot spell and her writing is hell, A sex kitten, found in North Platte, At work, there's this girl, Desdemona, Apart from her graces and airs, I know that their likely intention A funny smart cutie named Tiffany She gazes my way and it itches. The trouble, my friends, is the setting; So should I remain quite professional? It's only trangressional if What's wrong with an office-desk setting? And when you inevitably If I had your desk, I'd be bending Knock, Knock, it's the maid at the door. The boss has employed yet again The boss's P.A. is Vanessa -- Do you, as a sex, feel you're weaker I think that I know what you mean, The girl who appears ever sexier "What's wrong with a bit of sordicity?" Oh Betty, you really inspire, The weather's so hot now, and you've I'd love you, my dearest Amelia, Your quest for that girl named Amelia Sarah was a girl I once knew. So she sounds like a bit of a slag, There was a young lady of fashion, There was a young girl from Dakota, "Austerity now is the fashion," I'm off to the gym now, okay? That's Claire on the exercise bench I can't help but notice the patch I've met my new neighbor named Janet; Once again through the knot hole I look; So soon they were stripped to the waist; These warm summer days in the city, My eyes wander out to the street This morning the boss said to me By five I had written one page She looked so attractive that I "My name is Miss Annabel Brett." Her GSOH may have been lacking, (great sense of humor) I heard of the Alps crossed by Hannibal, There once was a wild man named Todd Now Todd was unusually loud. I can say this applies to most guys: Your ass and your tits and your thighs There's no fanny that's nicer than Meg's, And the manager just had to shutter, She stretched for a package of chops,
But most of them give me a boney.
To my carrot I steers
'Em by grabbing their ears,
While getting a face full of coney.
--- Tiddy Ogg
At work she will never be flirty.
Though down at the pub
Or in a night club,
Then she'll get down and get dirty.
--- Archie
Who's got overdeveloped pudenda;
She enters the room,
Exuding perfume:
Thoughts of sex quickly top the agenda.
--- Armand E Singer 850
With stable girl, Molly O'Dell.
But if you should lust
For her big bouncy bust,
Her dad, with his horse-whip, plays hell!
--- Tiddy Ogg
As she welcomes men in through her hall.
She knows their attention
Means close intervention,
But she doesn't mind that at all.
--- Val Burns P0609
A cute French maid dropped by at two,
And wanted a job,
With pay, and my knob,
And flowers, fresh cut, in the loo,
--- Travis Brasell
And just as she bid me "Adieu,"
She told me to hire her,
And never to fire her,
Or she would not swallow my glue.
--- Travis Brasell
Who let her boss see her new corset.
He wrote her a check
As she lay on her back,
And then took down his pants to endorse it.
--- G2687
Her character stoutly withstood
Attacks from without
While her good ways had clout.
Especially, friends, with my wood.
--- John Miller
To a restaurant and party. I know
That we'll eat, drink and get
More than merry. I'm sweat-
ing, just hoping for moments with Flo.
--- Peter Wilkins
Her short skirt barely covers her bits;
And I don't think she wears
Pantyhose and she swears
Brassieres are no good for her tits.
--- Peter Wilkins
And delightful young body. I squirm
While adjusting my pants
When she gives me a glance
And says, "Deal with you later, you worm."
--- Peter Wilkins
Of desire. If she told me to strip,
I'd obey like a shot
And I'd ask, "Have you got
Leather boots, leather pants and a whip!"
--- Peter Wilkins
For ranch chores, who's really a greenhorn,
At tossin' a lasso,
But she has an ass, so
I'm lettin' her work on my 'teenhorn!'
--- Travis Brasell
Who thought that her sister was sleazy,
She said, "What you thinkin'?
With parties and drinkin',
The boys will just think you are easy."
Runs off to work smiling and humming.
Though she owes her success
As you possibly guess,
No way to her brains but her plumbing.
--- Armand Singer
With the phrases of ill-devised size,
She's so adored
By the marketing board
That they gave her the Pullet-zer Prize.
--- Mervyn Cripps collection
Made a living by being just that.
But twenty years later,
When found in Decatur,
She turned out to be a sex cat.
--- Lims Unlimited
Whose job is replacing the toner
In printers and scanners;
And though I have manners,
I can't help but getting a boner.
--- Peter Wilkins
And her clothes at which everyone stares,
(For her skirt is too short
That it covers but naught)
It's those thin rubber gloves that she wears.
--- Peter Wilkins
Is toner-discolor prevention.
But thought of her hand
Encasing my gland,
Makes it quiver and stand to attention.
--- Peter Wilkins
Has roused a persistent tall stiffany.
My great throbbing wicket
Now begs her to lick it,
Or maybe just give it a sniffany.
--- Peter Wilkins
She makes a good joke and it twitches.
Then she writes me a lim
And my drippping fat stem
Displaces, squires, rolls, yaws, and pitches.
--- Peter Wilkins
This office ain't exactly abetting.
This dance in my pants
And the tenting askance,
Is urging a sticky white wetting.
--- Peter Wilkins
Or seek out the noontime confessional?
Or take it in hand
And punish my gland?
Or start on a course that's transgressional?
--- Peter Wilkins
She's well under age for a sniff.
But if she be older,
Then why not be bolder,
And give her one helluva biff!
--- Peter Wilkins
The floor space beneath it, I'm betting
Is fine for concealing
Young Tiff while she's feeling,
Exploring, caressing and petting.
--- Peter Wilkins
Explode in her face, you'll be free
From testicle pains
And embarrassing stains
On your trousers. I think you'll agree.
--- Peter Wilkins
Young Tiffany over and rending
Her body asunder
In doggy-style plunder,
Or similar type of upending.
--- Peter Wilkins
"Just a second, my towel's on the floor;
Now I'm decent, come in."
It's your breadfast, sir [grin]
And it's top of the morning for sure.
--- Peter Wilkins
Another receptionist; Jane.
She's twenty and slim
And she's blonde to the quim...
Or so says my feverish brain.
--- Anon
I'd walk through some fire to impress her.
Or take her to dine
On oysters and wine,
But mostly I want to undress her.
--- Anon
Without this well-cosseted tweaker?
In the checkout's grim scrum
Of a Sainsbury's Slum,
The outlook, without them, is bleaker?
--- Anon
This is file gol
Perhaps I'm just starting to glean -
Their intended consignment
Is pelvic alignment?
But I just hope they're easy to clean.
--- Anon
Could well suffer acute anorexia.
So we'll try to be caring,
Not overtly glaring
At lemons or truif (damn dyslexia!),
--- Anon
Said sexy young actress Felicity.
"It puts life in my crotch
Which I like very much,
And it gives me some extra publicity."
--- Val Burns P0609
The way you profusely perpire.
Each sweat exudation
Will cause dick inflation;
Come Betty and quench my desire.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Salt drops in each crevice and groove.
So when you're denuded,
That moisture exuded,
Each drop with my tongue I'll remove.
--- Tiddy Ogg
As much as or more than young Delia,
Maria, Martina,
Suzanne and Christina,
If only you'd gimme Ophelia.
--- Peter Wilkins
Is doomed. Did you know she is really a
Big tease? Plus, I'm told
She's thirteen years old.
You perv! So you like pedophilia?
--- Randog
I'd go to her house for a screw.
If her boyfriend found out,
I'd be in for a clout,
And I'd be at the end of the queue.
--- Funny Bone
Or maybe a sex-obsessed bag.
Can you lend her to me
Between two and three?
I am in great need of a shag!
--- Mushroom
Who had oodles and oodles of passion.
To her lover she said,
As they piled into bed,
"This is one thing those bastards can't ration."
--- L0032
Had a letter from Ickes; he wrote her:
"In addition to gas,
We're rationing ass,
And you've greatly exceeded your quota."
--- L0033
Remarked a young coed with passion.
Then she glanced at the bed,
And quietly said,
"There's one thing old Gingrich can't ration."
--- Anon
Not to keep from decaying away,
I admit; but I hope
As I climb up this rope,
To catch sight of young Claire on this day.
--- Anon
Over there (she's a pretty young wench)
Exercising her thighs
Amid whimpering sighs,
To improve on the strength of her clench.
--- Anon
Of what seems to be damp from her snatch.
Guess she does it to tease,
But I wish she'd say, "Please,
Come and give me a sniff and a scratch."
--- Anon
She acts like she's not from this planet.
But she's got a bod
That turns my rod
Into a pillar of granite.
--- Anon
She's lying there reading a book.
Then a friend came to stay,
(Her name's Sue, by the way.)
And off now, their blouses they took.
--- Anon
In a game, round the garden they chased.
They were soon very nude,
Doing things very rude.
She's a lesbian! Gee, what a waste.
--- Anon
With acres of cleavage and titty
And golden brown thighs,
Make me lose (no surprise)
Concentration at work (what a pity).
--- Anon
Where the girlies look utterly sweet
In their dresses so short;
Do I think that they ought
To? You bet; though I'm feeling the heat.
--- Anon
(Interrupting my sweet reverie)
"That report; have you done it?"
(Oh shit.) "I've begun it",
I lied. "Well I need it by three."
--- Anon
"Is that all?" said the boss in a rage.
I replied, "That'll do."
As I looked at the view
From the window. (I think it's my age.)
--- Anon
Glanced, threw her a smile, and passed by.
That lady so charm-
Ing grabbed hold of my arm,
And caused me to stop. She said "Hi."
--- Tiddy Ogg
"'Annibal? Like him who set
Out to cross the Alps, high,
With elephants. Why?
To get mountains that never forget."
--- Tiddy Ogg
But rapidly from me, she's backing.
So lads, with these dames,
Don't pun on their names,
Or you, just like me'll be sent packing.
--- Tiddy Ogg
But I thought I was handed a can-o'-bull,
When I'm told, though he'd strive,
The offspring didn't survive.
I just wish that I wasn't so gullible.
--- Liam na Beag
Who had to judge pretty girls bods.
Each girl that he'd see,
He gave only a three,
For none were good enough for his wad.
--- Anon
You can hear him in any size crowd
And when he was able,
He'd climb up on a table,
Pee on their heads; then feel proud.
--- Anon
Man craves those things pleasing his eyes.
I'm obnoxiously crass,
But to them I'm first-class.
I've looks, tits, and ass that they prize.
--- Anon
Have accounted for many a rise,
But there's naught like my knob
For the very best job;
Come on down, girl; you've won the first prize!
--- Anon
As was seen as she reached for the eggs.
And the stock boy is shakin'
As he comes in the bacon,
Having seen where she runs out of legs.
--- Bob Birch P0104
As he splattered all over the butter.
When Meg leaned for the milk,
Her bra made out of silk,
Broke under the weight of her udder.
--- Bob Birch P0104
And the young butcher's fly zipper pops,
And he shakes with a shiver,
As he spurts on the liver,
And the janitor runs for the mops.
--- Bob Birch P0104
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