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There once was a sweet signorina, I was ogling this gal by the pool; There is a strange lady named Wendy, I've found if you act pornographic, Young Wendy from Highclere I'd cosset, A couple hot honeys from Texas So she decided to bleach her hair blonder Your eyes, to my throat bring a lump; Our favorite lay-date, Miss Visser, Miranda, down in Kuala Lumpur, A virtuous maiden named Nora A missie from South Mississippi On the beach there are beautiful blonds In the evening the women parade on A gentleman can grow ravenous, A skinny young maiden from Kiel A girl wanders over Moose Heights Writing about sex is my bag, My Holiday gal is Poinsettia Whether dressed as a little French maid A lovely French girl from Calais There once was a young girl from Metter, He once had a girlfriend named Carol, Those flighty young girls of today, A blistering beauty had Maxwell, My love has a circular crack There's one thing our country agrees on: I'm often attracted to racy An open light is now shed Those knickers so many gals wear? In clothes stores I linger; i.e., From contestants who number in throngs, The ladies of Shoeburyness Whenever I see a selection A lovely young maid of Orleans There was a young lady from Lester, Just back from the north of this land, As the sun's rays get day by day stronger, She's atractive, no one can doubt, Hallelujah! Now Summer is here; An old cunning linguist, Rich Lederer, My girlfriend is bar educated, Young Algy has fits of the giggles, A girl whose frustration was chronic, Miss Etting was not very tall No wonder my pecker gets rigid, There was a young girl called Cecile, The ladies who like on St Kitts I once had a girl friend named Nelder; I like it, my love, when you giggle There once was a gal from New York (torque - a measure of that used to twist off a nut - McW)
A well endowed girl on Gibraltar Two proper young ladies one day, On the treadmill the pretty girl runs; I sit near the lingerie shop; There was a young woman named King A guy who would not run with women A nervous six-footer was Bridget, Some women are bossy and clamorous A topless young waitress in Frisco All new barmaids soon come to grips The beautiful babes of Madras Objected Jane's boyfriend, young Dwight, A cute little pumpkin, Michelle, A woman who lives down in Maine, Oh what is a woman to do? That's how Mary discovered the joys
Who made one quite glad to have seen 'er.
To get in, however you
Had better endeavor to
Wait in line with a legal subpoena.
--- Isaac Asimov
I guess I was starting to drool.
When she spied me, said "Man,
Your tongue's getting a tan;
You'd better get in where it's cool."
--- John Miller
Whose outlook is amazingly trendy.
She searched for a toy,
To give her new joy,
But it turned out to be way too bendy.
--- Joe Reichardt
You'll discover men aren't seraphic.
If you play it like bitchy,
Their pants become itchy,
And your prat's pounded flat by the traffic.
--- G0163
Esconced in that warm walk-in closet.
Her dad ran a bank
But she I must thank
For tucking away my deposit.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Said "Your attitude it does perplex us.
We don't want a gentleman,
Just a top, bottom or middle man,
And who cares who thinks that it is sexist!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And the guys appeared to get fonder.
She found they would listen;
Their interests were risen.
But their eyes, my!...how they would wander!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Your lips cause my heart beat to jump.
Plus your skin, oh so fair,
And your soft silky hair
Make me wish that like bunnies, we'd hump.
--- Anon
We could poke her and stroke her and kiss her,
And fuck her at will --
We'd be doing it still,
But she up and left town. God! We miss her!
--- Grand Prix Lim 636 G0217
Has two luscious lumps 'neath her jumper,
A nice curvy rear,
And legs up to here.
No wonder the blokes want to hump her.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Viewed sexual sinning with horror.
But a bit of love play
Was indulged in today,
And who know what she'll think of tomorrow.
--- Isaac Asimov
Provocative, sassy, and lippy,
Would tantalise guys
With her come-to-bed eyes,
And when she went out with them -- Yippee!
--- John Dole P9705
Showing skin they intend to be bronze.
Their undersized strings
Cover only such things
As their nipples and veneris mons.
--- Alex Heydon P0507
The street that the clothiers trade on.
Wearing no underthings,
The material clings
To their figures, as though it was sprayed on.
--- Alex Heydon P0507
As candles lift to fabulous,
The body lines
For which he pines,
Beneath flowing gowns diaphanous.
--- Val Burns P0512Q
Was frequently seen dishabille,
Which made her declare,
"I have nothing to wear
And not a whole lot to conceal."
--- Limber Limericks
Wearing only a pair of silk tights.
Though no bloody use
At exciting the moose,
All the farmers for miles she delights.
--- Hugh Oliver 101a
Or clothes that get rent, torn and rag-
ged from lust,
For the feel of my bust,
But I'm really a Nun (just a gag!)
--- Robin K Willoughby P8604
With small yellow blooms where I petta,
And blotches of red
And green on her head...
But boy! Can she fill out a sweata!
--- John Miller
Or maybe a Scots lass in plaid,
Your booties a treasure;
You give so much pleasure,
Unwrapping before you are laid.
--- Anon
Looks great in her sheer negligee.
Delightful and chaste
She would just suit the taste
Of the typical Gallic gourmet.
--- Isaac Asimov
Who looked very nice in a sweater;
When she added a skirt
She looked rather pert,
But I can't say she looked any better.
--- Lims Unlimited
Who wore the most gorgeous apparel.
He took her to the mall
To show off her all;
He'd fallen hard -- lock, stock and barrel.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
When they're out for an evening of play,
Wear no panties or vest
And appear half undressed,
In the sexiest possible way.
--- Anon
Telling Boltzmann, "I now know the facts well,
And I find belle-shaped curves,
Form a model that serves
To explain why hot bodies make slacks swell."
--- Jerry Nordal P0406
Just south of the small of her back.
Just between us, my friends,
When over she bends,
My jockeys lose all of their slack.
--- Scott
When she puts her lace BVD's on,
From Sooke to Niagara,
Men call her Viagra,
For a publicly obvious reason.
--- John E Mayhood P9807
Young ladies like Debbie and Tracy;
But rarely to Fannys
Or middle-aged grannies,
Unless they're in underwear lacy.
--- Peter Wilkins
On the path today's women tread,
'Cause the way they dress,
Means they now wear less
Than their grandmothers did in bed!
--- Val Burns P0510Q
For shopping, there's none that compare!
I've worn mine so often,
They've started to soften;
That bullet ensures my ~welfare~
--- Anon
In certain departments eagerly
I gaze at the lace!
Oh, the contents! Disgrace,
It awaits me, still yippee ay ee!
--- Doug Harris P0510Q
It's quite simple to see who belongs.
Miss America Misses
Suggest just what bliss is
With phantasies of them in thongs.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0212
Will have sex only under duress;
They have an aversion
To any diversion
That leaves all their clothes in a mess.
--- Michael Horgan
This is file gpl
Of dames who are dressed to perfection,
My skin starts to glisten
And I get a quick frisson
With immediate piloerection.
--- Hugh Clary
Was a bundle of hills and ravines,
And to add to the cheer
Of the view from the rear,
She was fitted too tight in her jeans.
--- Lims Unlimited
Who allowed her young men to molest her.
When they shouted abuse,
She'd take off her shoes,
But she'd take off much more when they pressed her.
--- Anon
Where the girls are exceedingly grand;
With their tiny wee skirts,
They're outrageous flirts;
Even now I've a permanent stand.
--- Peter Wilkins
All the chicks' leggies seem to grow longer.
Just to draw eager eyes,
Skirts hide barely their prize;
Old farts too feel considerably younger.
--- Anon
Pursued by the oaf and the lout.
When she passes, displayed
In her mini of suede,
Even strong men will often cry out!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Pardon me while I ogle and leer,
At women and teenies
In scanty bikinis;
Grill some wienies and pass me a beer!
--- John Miller 0012
Met a girl, and he wanted to get her. Her
Hips were so dominant,
Her bosoms so prominent,
That he had a strong urge to unsweater her.
--- Cunning Linguist
And more than a little, I hate it!
She wears her tight skirts
And low cut tight shirts;
She's in the wet t-shirt top rated!
--- Eydol
As Ginger bends over and wiggles
Her bottom at Bertie,
Who's getting quite flirty
And doing the dirty with Biggles.
--- Anon
Became cynical, brash, and sardonic;
"I do flutters and dips,
When I wiggle my hips --
They love it when I'm anharmonic."
--- Arthur Leek
But that didn't miff her at all,
For by moving around
Very close to the ground,
She had only a short way to fall.
--- Alsops Foibles
Whenever I'm in bed with Brigid.
She tries evey trick
To pleasure my dick,
To prove that she's really not frigid.
--- Michael Horgan
Who loved riding the big Ferris Wheel.
What would add to the joy
Was holding tight to her boy,
As they went round, 'twas squeal after squeal!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Will walk around flaunting their tits.
Whilst ladies on Nevis
Will oft show their crevice,
Which thrills all the tourists to bits.
--- Tiddy Ogg
She was slick as an eel when you held her.
She could slither her charms
Through the tightest of arms...
To contain her, I had to spot-weld her.
--- Don Tidwell a
And make all your wobbly parts jiggle;
And given the chance
To get into your pants,
I can make all your nether parts wriggle.
--- Peter Wilkins
Whose wiggle would blow a guy's cork.
But it wasn't her bottom
That usually got 'em,
I think it was mainly her torque.
--- Norm Storer
Walked around in a tight skimpy halter.
As she stiffened the cock
Of each man on the rock,
Not a guy on Gibralta would fault her.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0501
Were upset by her vulgar display.
They started a rumor
That her tits were a tumor,
And that she was a terrible lay.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0501
Her pace is so fast that it stuns.
I try not to stare
At her chest's bouncing pair,
So I find myself ogling her buns.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0308
My wife is there buying non-stop.
And the girls as they pass
Display such tits and ass,
I'm afraid that my zipper will pop.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0505
Who'd sit in a rocker and sing.
She showed so much stocking,
They tole her 'twas shocking,
But she said, "Come 'round when I swing!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Said, "Women should walk or go swimmin'.
You know it's a fact--
They tend to distract
With their bouncin' and shakin' and shimmin'."
--- Bill McKeon P9705a
She'd wriggle and squirm, twitch and fidget.
But she knew perfect peace,
And a psychic release,
When she found true romance with a midget.
--- 500 Irish Jokes & Lims
Although they appear to be glamorous.
And those without class
May be smoother than glass,
And lissome and slinky and amorous.
--- Limber Limericks
Saw a man she had known in Mt Kisco,
And he said to her, "Joan,
I see that you've grown,
And that's why this place is so disco."
--- Lims Unlimited
With the idea of swinging their hips.
Its not for the balance
They display these talents,
But rather to increase the tips.
--- Anon
Bare their hot undulating tight ass.
When bent at the waist,
You almost can taste
Their gaping and steaming crevasse.
--- Randog
"The things you're a'doin' ain't right:
A-shakin' your tits
To give me the fits,
And make me go cream in the night."
--- Armand E Singer 993
Whom, while under a midnight spell,
Unlike Cinderella,
Delighted her fella,
By turning into a motel.
--- Observer A
Has a face that's exceedingly plain.
But down there below it,
Whenever she'd show it,
Was a torso that addled your brain.
--- Alsops Foibles
She doubts that her true love is true.
She could break the hex
With sizzling sex,
Or whip his ass pink with her shoe.
--- Fireflye
Of getting attention from boys.
When you want comprehension,
Just break dress convention,
And wiggle some when you make noise.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
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