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For hours on her bed we were basking, The thing that you all want to know: You'll find her in Giuseppi's bar, The hooker, she strolls down the street; She's sexy and saucy to boot, In the fleshpots of North Labrador A haunter of hookshops named Guy In Scotland far out on the moor, The harlot Minette winked her eye There once was a guy named Hugh Clary; A rich C.E.O., Jimmy Vought, Many cities have no constitution "Competition is lively, all right, There once was a trollop from Dallas, A clever Dutch hooker named Sweet Bragged a well-equipped lady of leisure, At the whorehouse, the homely Miss Bright An expert old harlot named Lize, (Fillmore P Noble pseudonym of Albin Chaplin)
Said the happy old hooker, Miss Pease, When the hooker asked "What'll it be?" There was a young cocksman named Krupp, A fool and his money once started A young girl named Molly Malone, There was a young fellow named Clark, A prim Texan, when caught in sin's vortex, I knew a tart called Kate, There was a young prostitute chubby, A sailor who came from the Keys The pious old harlot named Dix, There once was a whoremaster, Krause, In bed though, they'd really carouse.
But loin heat they really could douse. With a smile for the lowliest souse.
Said a pretty young whore, name of Mave, Necrophilia and the burning of farts! A young two-bit harlot named Shorter An ecology zealot's ambitions A communicator of northern Fargo A happy young whore from Milpitas With Nellie, the episodes o'er How much is the price of a screw? There was an old fellow of Fordham, From Nogales, young Corporal Warder There was a young lady named Rose, Now the "tricks of the trade" are for sale, There once was a lady named Lilly, With the posse still hot on his trail, There once was a dame from Des Moines The bordello resounded with knells An ugly old whore from Murmansk Then there was the girl from Kamchatka, So Vlad now has most hollow cheeks, You're certainly my kind of slut, Too many women get called whore, The couple had just had great sex, His love life had just turned to ash, Genital shrinkage, I think, My genitals haven't yet shrunk, I'm so glad your balls are intact, I must say 'twas money well spent, A hooker named Mollie McGuire A seasoned old harlot named Gleason A lovely successful young whore, Heroics are needed now, Buster; A whore on a boat on Lake Michigan O Countrymen, Romans and friends, An old man with a very big pension, In love with his work was old Kropp;
The thin walls our cries little masking,
And for her compliance
In the interests of science,
I'm glad, for I knew you'd be asking...
--- Tiddy Ogg
What color's her hair down below?
But here's an omission,
For I'm on commission,
10%, so you'd all better go.
--- Tiddy Ogg
In a low cut blouse, wearing no bra,
And she'll do as you please,
For reasonable fees,
You'll find her a sexual star.
--- Tiddy Ogg
She is very light on her feet.
She just seems to fly
On heels one foot high;
She vamps every man she does meet.
--- Marlene
With one hell of a pair of hoot-
Ers that bounce
And nary an ounce
Of fat where she's packing her loot.
--- Arden
Lived a fat and voluptuous whore.
Contagiously jolly,
The nicknamed her Olly
Because of her asking for more.
--- Hugh Oliver 22d
Remarked with a glint in his eye:
"I've found amongst hookers
Damn few good lookers--
But it's ass, and not face that I buy.
--- G1801
As shown in Gook's travel brochure,
Lives a harlot named Fitch
With her niche for the rich
And her asshole for those that are poor.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1611
At a sailor in blue walking by;
He slowed down by her side.
She said, "How 'bout a ride?"
He responded with vigor, "Aye aye!"
--- LaDonna Jones P8503
The mere thought of his name makes me scary.
But when all's said and done,
The guy with the bum
Was stuffing a hooker named Mary.
--- Pop Rivet
Far-famed for solutions he's sought,
Too old to be choosy,
Just rented a floozy --
For sex, unlike love, can be bought.
--- Armand E Singer 858
To prevent prevalent street prostitution.
As curb crawlers cruise by,
The girls their trade ply.
Do the police really try prosecution?
--- Arthur Pattaffy
In our neck of the woods," declared Dwight.
"It gives us a break,
For the prostitutes take
Double coupons on Saturday night."
--- A N Wilkins P8503
Who loved getting diddled with phallus.
She squealed with delight
When it was done just right,
And she felt like a Queen of the Palace.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Displays at her window her meat.
The normal reaction
Is quick tumefaction
From men passing by in the street.
--- Armand E Singer 417
"My johns always get lots of pleasure;
All the things that I do.
Bring new meaning to `screw':
I enjoy giving more than full measure."
--- Armand Singer
Tallied tricks that went clear out of sight.
Her outstanding feature:
This former schoolteacher
Made you practice till you got it RIGHT!
--- John Miller 0104 a
New methods of sex did devise.
After Phil Noble had her
On each rung of the ladder,
Her award was the "Noble Piece Prize".
--- Albin Chaplin
"On my job I'm as free as the breeze.
When my day's work is done,
It's been all poking fun,
And I come and I go as I please."
--- Albin Chaplin
Young John got embarrassed, you see.
So instead of just telling,
He opted for spelling:
"Starts with F, ends with K, don't U C?"
--- Wiley
Whom a harlot got awfully keyed up.
He unzipped in great style,
But outstripped her a mile;
Then paused so that she could catch up.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0631
To explore into places unchartered.
But let's not be cruel,
He's not such a fool --
'Twas her legs that this fool's money parted.
--- Neal Wilgus P8511a
Spends much of her time on the phone.
For just $3.99
You can have a good time,
But for fifty, she'll come to your home!
--- John H
Who decided that sex was a lark.
Since he couldn't endure
The sight of a whore,
He would always make love in the dark.
--- Isaac Asimov
Would mutter, "Let go of that whore, Tex.
You must never employ her,
You don't really enjoy her,
That pleasure is just in your cortex."
--- Isaac Asimov
Who stayed out with men until late.
He'd give a cough;
Her knickers come off;
To get shagging, they just couldn't wait
--- Anon
Whose work left her sweaty and grubby.
But this sensible girlie
Every day would leave early,
For she saved the last piece for her hubby.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1469
Had plowed through the heaviest seas,
And survived every one,
But a harlot named Dunn
Left him wobbly and weak in the knees.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1563
Each time before turning her tricks,
On her knees she would pray
To gain strength for the lay,
And thanked the good Lord for stiff pricks.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1492
Who kept a respectable house.
The girls didn't toke,
Drink, swear, or smoke,
And smiled as you took off their blouse.
--- John Miller
And fucking was all they'd espouse.
And failure did not make them grouse.
And never were home to a louse.
Submitting as meek as a mouse.
--- John Miller
"My pussy is deep as a nave.
Old men and bridegrooms
Have tasted mushrooms
That grow in the dark in my cave."
--- Tom Patton P9803
We're neglecting our resident tarts!
They're alive and they're moaning
For overdue boning!
Let's slam-dunk their warm joyful parts!
--- Allen Wolverton
This is file gmm
Was had by an elderly porter.
Though her price was quite low,
He put on such a show,
No one asked for, nor gave any quarter.
--- Albin Chaplin
To control atmospheric conditions,
Caused a fellow to pay
For a lay every day,
To reduce his nocturnal emissions.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
While perusing the tomes of Baudot
Said, "All the bauds (bawds) that I meet
Will smoke on the street,
And none of them ever says 'no'."
--- William J Wilson P0607
Said, "Man has found nothing to beat us.
Golf, fishing, and fights
All have their delights,
But nothing beats good old coitus."
--- Grand Prix Lim 426 G0131
And Pam's not around any more.
So I have to make do
With Nellie's old shoe,
And occasional trysts with a whore.
I'd double it, if I could have you.
Can't pay you today,
But thought that I may
Deposit, before I withdrew.
--- Anon
Who said, "We must thank God for whoredom.
It's a matter not trifling,
For some wives are so stifling,
Their men would soon be dead of boredom."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2054
Spent his three-day-pass south of the border.
Satiated he got
And he said from his cot,
"Temporarily, I'm out of ardor."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0204
Who liked to slip out of her clothes
When receiving a gent,
Which helped pay the rent
And kept her amused, I suppose.
--- John Ciardi
And Penthouse has put up a bale
Of cash for a centerfold,
In hopes to be oversold
When the rag of all rags tells the tale.
--- Ystap TP9802
With a craving to walk Piccadilly.
She said, "Ain't it funny,
It's not for the money,
But if I don't take it, it's silly!"
--- G1851a
He was tempted by nookie for sale.
So the Kid went to bed
With a price on his head,
With a girl with a price on her tail.
--- Anon
Who was skilled in the use of her loins;
Why, they were so active,
Men found them attractive,
And rented them nightly for coins.
--- Norm Storer P9706
And wild pealings as mademoiselles,
Suzette, Mimi, and Flo,
Said "Bon, Quasimodo,
You're certainly ringing our bells!"
--- Loren Fitzhugh P9205
Said, "Pyotr, may I have this Gdansk?
Why, lover, your dinki
Would stretch to Helsinki!
How does it all fit in your pantsk?"
--- Ericka
With bosom exceedingly flatka.
But old Doctor Vlad,
Said "Da, them I'll pad
With flesh from the place where you're satka."
--- Tiddy Ogg
While Olga sprouts lovely twin peaks.
That girl misconstrued,
But lest he be sued,
His face gave the padding she seeks.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Girl, curvaceous of bosom and butt;
So get down with your rump
In the air for a hump,
And a glorious seasonal rut.
--- Anon
Just because of the sign on the door.
I say, What the heck!
Be politically correct!
How 'bout 'Sexual Ambassador?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
With hickeys all over their necks.
He said, "What can I do
To prove I love you?"
She said, "Visa or Master; No AmEx"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0312
But he said with returning panache:
"To you this is business,
If that's all that this is,
I deserve a small discount for cash."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0312
Has little to do with your drink.
More likely disease
From women of ease...
It's there that I'd search for the link.
--- Tutta Gioia
And my pecker I've never yet sunk
Into women of ease;
So I'm free from disese.
Now withdraw your suggestions, you skunk!
--- Tutta Gioia
That you've never once paid for the act.
I can't say the same,
Having rented a dame
In Hong Kong one night when just whacked.
--- Tutta Gioia
For Asians their pleasures augment
In such fabulous ways
Which in all of my days,
I could never have hoped to invent.
--- Tutta Gioia
Wore a sign on her chest, "SEX FOR HIRE,"
Which kept her so busy,
She was frequently dizzy,
But it still didn't put out the fire.
--- Grand Prix Lim 906
Remarked, "No young lad outdoes me, son."
But so long did one stay
That the harlot said, "Say,
Don't you think we should stop for a pee, son?"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1530
Whom all the men greatly adore,
Said "Part of my fame
Is due to my name.
Mother named me "Pussy Andmore!"
--- Evelyn L
So gather what strength you can muster,
And sing your 'swan song'
As you slide your dong
In Sydney's best whore and then thrust her!
--- Anon
Said, "Reaching shore will fulfill my one wish again.
Just get to Chicago
Let my panties and bra go
And let guys at my tits and my knish again."
--- Bob Giandomenico P8802
Your ears and 10 dollars please lend,
So I'll get a lay
On the Appian Way,
As the cash on a hooker I spend.
--- Anon
Found a way to relieve all his tension.
He'd hire a girl or two
And then make them do
Many things that I don't dare to mention.
--- Tom Patton P0204
A whorehouse he cleaned with a mop.
He liked this job best
And he worked with great zest,
For he loved to hear harlots talk shop.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2146
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