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Dawn's early arrival for me A professional lady of Ealing A madam by name Winifred A hefty old harlot from Nice A ravishing French Mademoiselle There was an old whore of Decatur, A fastidious lady named Jill But the RNIB's young Miss Purvis, [RNIB - ?] A prostitute, Priestess of Blow, While having a madam named Bunny, Young Lillie, a whore on the go, The Yellow Page ad of whore Wallace To stimulate trade, Cindy Stout The harlot that's smarter avoids A selective old madam was Dades; I've seen her in old NYC, The luscious Miss Amy Ballew There was an old harlot named Lemann, There was a young lady from Carolina There's a girl, her name it is Lisa; There once was a girl named Lisa, Said a prostitute down from Orilla, A cabby's wife, brighter than some, In the bed of a harlot of Rome Gents, if you want to get laid, Keeping mute, this tart thinks she is nifty; A canny old hooker named Gwynne, A bordello bum from Suburbus Young Marsha is cute as a bunny; I consider it almost as funny: A Japanese whore in Milwaukee While travelling in the city of Pisa, I once wandered north to Quebec, There was an old rounder, McGee, When Young Mary, who came from Shootash, Let's give credit to old harlot Klutz You've traveled the whole desert through A hooker from Hull City Centre, There was a young lady of Lucknow, For Pickett, a madam named Larket A doll who delights in seduction A busy young harlot named Lydio Messy Mollie sells tail in Tomales, There once was a sailor named Drew, She was bold, she was hot, she was willing, A hurry-up hooker named Vickie A prostitute nobody pities There once was a girl from St. Martin "Though you paid me up front", hooker Flo There was a young hooker named Heather The new topless dress of Miss Ives There was an old harlot named Tuck Said the hooker to the 'john,' "You must stop! Pedometers, these are a must A lady of pleasure named Joan There once was a tart from Toronto A diligent hooker was Brenda, "We're here," said two harlots of Daucus, We miss the fat trollops of yore-- Oh, the whorehouse of yore is no more, All hail, in our fond, foolish rhyme Hail the big meaty hooker of yore, To the tart and the doxy of yore, There really is no point in waiting All the cards in the phonebooths are stating: Last year I was down in Torino, We went home unto her apartment,
Means waking each morning at three,
'Cause when it turns four,
She comes through my door;
By five the whore's gone with her fee!
--- Anon
Was proficient at moaning and squealing
And faking the spasm
Of female orgasm,
While studying cracks in the ceiling.
--- Amego P2006
Had signals attached to her bed.
The green was for go,
The yellow meant slow;
You were through when the light was on red.
--- Albin Chaplin
Did prosper though she was obese.
When she was in her prime,
She took four at a time,
Every wrinkle was good for a piece.
--- Albin Chaplin
Walked down the docks ringing a bell.
When asked why she rang it,
She answered, "God dang it.
To ze sailors I've zomething to sell."
--- Larry Wilde
In matters of finance, first rater.
If your cash went for chow,
She said, "Why not fuck now
And pay for the goods sometime later."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1486
Always searched for a sexual thrill.
Sam made her ecstatic
With his moves acrobatic;
He said, "Damn!" when she gave him the bill.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0407
Whose body feels lovely and curvish,
Has found a fine way
To keep blues away,
With her personal grope-a-gram service.
--- Anon
Wears a cunt meter: START--STOP--and SLOW!
With a musical chime
To keep track of the time,
Which allows you to pay as you go.
--- G1745
A lad did tell jokes that were funny.
To divulge the whole truth,
He had manners uncouth;
He was bounced and refunded his money.
--- Albin Chaplin
Once wrote a love song full of woe
That tells what is said
When she gets in bed:
"Hi Lillie:" ... "Hi willy:" ... "Hi dough:"
--- Travis Brasell
For lonely young men had some solace.
"If you can't come to us,
We'll get girls on the bus --
And right at your place, if you call us."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1690
Gives a free lay for every tenth bout...
Her business is fine
For men stand in line
Waiting for the guy in to come out.
--- Grand Prix Lim 132
Disaster of work-stoppage voids;
From a pregnancy lapse,
Or a case of the claps.
by insuring her pussy with Lloyds.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1433
She instructed her skillful young maids
To give fine fucking sessions
To the men of professions,
But they only should jack off all trades.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1482
On sidewalks, round the WTC.
She's brought her own bed,
And lays there legs spread,
For jumpers to land twixt her knees.
--- Anon
Who watched two apes screw in the zoo,
Remarked to the keeper,
"I do it too...cheaper...
How about knocking off one with you?"
--- Grand Prix Lim 678
Who fancied all sailors were he-men.
When a ship came to port,
She would open for sport,
And she closed when they ran out of seamen.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1582
Who had a rheostat for a vagina.
She could lay all day
With a man in Bombay,
While soliciting trade in Plina.
--- G2634a
Her pussy tastes just like a pizza.
If you're are all out of cash,
But still want some gash,
She will take Mastercard and your Visa.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose ass I wanted a piece-a.
She got on her knees,
Said, "Do what you please.
I take Mastercard and Visa."
--- Anon
"If I had your address I could bill ya;
Or cash I take too;
Even charge cards will do;
But you'd better pay up or I'll kill ya.
--- Hugh Oliver 70a
Had a meter installed in her bum.
With a musical chime
To keep track of the time,
And allow you to pay as you come.
--- Anon
Was placed a concealed metronome.
In a manner discreet
She would step up the beat,
Thus increasing the pay she took home.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1647
For a quickie, I know a young maid,
She will clean out your pipes,
In three or four wipes.
That's why they call her Minute Maid.
--- Limberick
And with rocking, she tries to be thrifty;
When he slips her his bone,
He can make this babe moan,
If he pays her a counterfeit fifty!
--- Anon
Who wrote the whole casebook on sin,
Devised a new system:
She wined them and kissed 'em,
But soaked them for sticking it in.
--- Armand E Singer 643
Said, "These play-for-pay gals make me nervous.
In exchange for some sex,
They refuse to take checks,
And that ain't the way they should serve us."
--- Grand Prix Lim 278
She's bright and she's clever and funny.
But I've heard her say
In her bright sunny way,
"Look sonny, no money, no cunny!"
--- John Miller 0035
"What, no money? How funny! 'Bye, Sonny!"
Please, folks, help me out
Or I'll whimper and pout,
Tell me which one is more on the money.
--- Anon
First serves all her clients some saki.
But they don't get laid
Until they have paid.
She tells them, "No tickee, no cockee!"
--- David Miller
I met a gal beauty called Teresa.
But she wouldn't say "Yes"
To American Express,
And I'd forgotten to carry my Visa.
--- Robert
In search of a girl who would neck.
But I'd gone and forgotten
My French was so rotten,
So I settled instead for a Czech.
--- Norm Storer P0011
This is file gnm
Who thought he could dip his wick free.
But a harlot named Charlotte
Remarked with a snarl, "It
Is business, not pleasure, for me."
--- G1826
Got mad, your balls she would mash,
If ever you laid her,
And then never paid her.
But boy, she was great if you'd cash.
--- Anon
For the way she sold ass -- it took guts.
With her added refinement,
You could fuck on consignment,
And could pay after blowing your nuts.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1569
Without drink, without sex, it is true.
But now an oasis
Provides pleasant places
For girls asking "One hump or two?"
--- Laurence Perrine P9504
Refused to let a pimp represent her.
So she made do instead
With a sign on her bed:
Saying "Please can you pay as you enter!"
--- Anon
Who said, "If you don't have a buck now,
Then your credit is fine.
Simply sign on this line.
You can always pay later and fuck now."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1587
Provided a place he could park it.
And then she told Pickett
To pick up a ticket,
Like customers at the meat market.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1580
Goes in now for real mass production.
She says, "Bring on the troops,
Which I'll service in groups!"
...Thus offering a big price reduction.
--- Grand Prix Lim 374
Worked daily down at the Presidio.
On her recess siestal,
This free-enterprise vestal
Would rent out her "Masturobic" video.
--- Arthur Deex P9108
Saying, "I cater to men and their follies."
So when your natural urges
Are surging for purges,
See if what you pack fits in to Mollie's!
--- Grand Prix Lim 995
Who would call a madam he knew.
As the mates went ashore,
They'd be met by a whore,
And she'd service the entire crew.
--- Bob Birch P9804
But she never forgot she was billing.
She set the time-clock
The moment his cock
Started that bump 'n grind drilling.
--- Anon
Was the quintescent queen of the quickie;
She'd do a quick dance,
Make you come in your pants,
Leaving you sullen and sticky!
--- Writerman
Gets down to the nitties and gritties:
She works alternate weeks
In Ames and Twin Peaks --
And is known as "The Tail of Two Cities?".
--- Norm Storer P9911
Had hooters just like Dolly Parton.
On the door of her hut
Was a sign that said "Slut",
Amd a ticket to number your hardon.
--- Irish
Told her client, "I'm still due some dough.
I felt, in gradations,
Eleven pulsations,
And I quoted you ten bucks a throe."
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Who tickled her johns with a feather;
Annoying to some,
It did make them come,
Besmerching their bare altogether.
--- Armand Singer
Is bound to disturb lots of lives...
Twenty lays she rates par
When she hits a posh bar...
And thirty in back-alley dives.
--- Grand Prix Lim 133
who knew how to make a fast buck.
When she was in her prime,
She took two at a time.
One must say this took plenty of pluck.
--- Albin Chaplin
Your time is now over the top.
I can't give you more
Than my colleague next door,
Because this is a closed union shop."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0406
For ladies who satisfy lust.
No haggle on price;
Strap on the device
And then they can charge by the thrust.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Drives around with a cellular phone.
She explains it is cheaper
Than using a beeper
And it doesn't deplete the ozone.
--- Arthur Deex P9011a
Who was not very hard to get onto:
She would take to the hay
Without any delay,
And encourage each John to be pronto.
--- Norm Storer
But fellows all wanted addenda.
She told them, "Now quit,
And give me some spit.
I need to wash off my pudenda."
--- Julia Strawn P8808
"To tour through the White House so raucous.
And we have an obsession
To see congress in session
And to see if the Senate will caucus."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1483
The doxy, the trull, and the whore;
The bawd and the chippie,
Well-padded and hippy,
The likes of whom peddle no more.
--- G1892
And its passing we deeply deplore.
Its lack leave the horny
Reading all that bad porny,
Full of murder and rapine and gore.
--- G1893
To the plush whores of yore in their prime!
To the millions of dollies
Whose sexual follies
Ring down through the cathouse of Time!
--- Grand Prix Lim 838 G1894
With her fanny as wide as the door!
She was probably smelly
And wobbled like jelly,
But her two-dollar price ain't no more.
--- G1894a
The frail fille de joie and the whore,
The strumpet, the moll,
The trollop and doll--
May their harlotry wave evermore!
--- G1894b
If you have a lust that needs sating.
Seek out the red light
And the girls of the night.
You'll find them all accommodating.
--- Rory Ewins
Said the note in the booth: "Sick of dating?
Then find the red light
And our girls of the night!
They['re accomodating, willing and waiting."
--- Anon
And I met there a charming albino;
Her hair it did grow
As white as the snow,
And we chatted and drank capuccino.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And were soon in the sleeping compartment,
But as in this forum
We speak with decorum,
I'll tell you not of our disportment.
--- Tiddy Ogg
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