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A lad should have at least three lasses, A lady I am through and through, White collar, I am middle class; My breeding, most would call me mutt; A streetwalker once took a room She was caught, a young girl of Eutoxeter, There once was a girl named Victoria, In Illinois there is Peoria, Said a candid old hooker named Min, There was a rich old roue, When you curl up in bed with a trollop, An able young harlot named Bobby A Japanese whore showed affection "I'll help you to soften your bone; There was a young lady named Hearst "I think it can only compare Looky, Looky, Looky. It's a hooker! There was a Young Lady of Parma, Joe spent his last dime on the lottery... An expensive young tart of Orilla It's easy to catch me, my dear, Said her suitor, "You're cute as a bunny! Lady golfers say betting's no vice; Said Earp, a descendant of Wyatt, Though in bed, my girl's simply exquisite, Dear Eloise now weighs around The call girl drops in twice a week... To the Call Girl we doff our chapeau, A gifted young rooming-house boarder There was an old fellow of Michigan, A whore on the railroad, Miss Burrage, "Were your services worth the amount Though an indigent student of Keys Some hookers who peddle today There's a broken down whore from Marseilles, A harlot of note named LeDux, Some potent extractions of ergot A businesslike whore of St. Paul, A Britain-backing bawd name of Maud, The expensive and elegant whore A burning consumer did earn Dunno about you, Dave, but here, A Yank in Vietnam name Moe, (Ho = Ho Chi Minh, leader of North Vietnam)
A dignified harlot of Dimmage A hooker named Little Miss Muffet There was an old harlot named Blake At a second-rate bordello in France We've got this damn energy crisis A school marm from old Mississippi, You're a beautiful hooker in Georgia A man short of cash name of Cliff Her breasts were large melons so sweet, In Paris, a gal with great stems If a man gives no thought to the score Did you hear that story 'bout Betty? A freewheeling filly named Gail, An expensive young harlot named Ann, There was a rich wastrel named Burleigh, A greedy young whore of Marseille (Kimberly rocks - diamonds)
Said the lady of fine sleek contour, Way back as a young man in the service, I said to the neighborhood whore, There once was a man from Peru A badly broke fellow named Joe The cheap whorehouse of yore is no more Said his wife, "Olivia's a slut! This geezer, besotted with Maddie,
For they come in far different classes.
Some can be shown,
And others are knowin'
He wants them just for their asses.
--- Red1
With pedigreed blood running blue,
Upon satin sheets,
I bed the elites;
For money and jewelry I screw.
--- Goin2
Attractive, a fine bonny lass;
A working class bloke
Won't find himself broke,
When he's had a piece of my ass.
--- Goin2
For my bread and butter I strut.
All night on my feet,
I'm walking the street,
Selling blow jobs, my pussy, and butt.
--- Goin2
Just next to a lad who was groom
To a stallion camp
And was well used to tamp.
Her busman's (great) holiday'll loom.
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P8709
In flagrante delicto, two Jocks at her.
As the customers came,
Cameras clicked (to their shame)
And the photos were captioned "Two-Cocks Satyr"!
--- Tim Hopkins
The noisiest whore in Pretoria,
She's writhe under guys
'Neath South African skies;
Her screams could be heard in Peoria.
--- Tiddy Ogg
A very long way from Pretoria.
As that awsome sound
Travels the world around,
It must have been some great euphoria.
--- CM
"I just love having men shove it in.
It's warm and it's filling;
They pay and that's thrilling --
Partial pay for the wages of sin."
--- Armand E Singer 577
Who felt himself slipping away.
He endowed a large ward,
In a house where he'd whored.
Was there a crowd at his funeral? I'll say!
--- L1053
Fish and chips, mushy peas and a scallop,
With a nice cup of tea,
And the news on TV,
That's a wild night in old Nether Wallop.
--- Kevin Hale Q
Was asked by a man in the lobby,
If her husband did moan
When she took her work home;
She said, "Yes, but my work is my hobby!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1451
To powerful men with direction.
Once while he was lovin' her
She said to the governor,
"I'm working for your re-erection!"
--- Peter Piper T9710
I'll wriggle and then I will moan.
But I won't do it for money,
But then again, honey,
I'll accept a permanent loan!"
--- Archie
Of whom was suspected the worst,
Because o'er her bed
Was this motto in red:
"The customer always comes first."
--- William K Alsop Jr
With my notion of old Marie Dare
Demanding good money
From one Herrick Bunney
To insert you-know-what you-know where."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
At Hollywood and Vine, what a looker!
A ravishing young starlet
Becomes today's harlot;
How long before she's overlooker?
--- Anon
Who conduct grew calmer and calmer;
When they said, "Are you dumb?"
She merely said, "Ho hum!
I'm a 500 buck a night charmer.
--- Edwardian Leer 045
And WON! Now, since girls find Joe hotter, he
Is free with his dough,
And wouldn't you know,
Joe's spent his last dime on their twattery!
--- Anon
Had a hundred perversions to thrill ya.
After only two weeks
Of her oral techniques,
"You'll be all over come, when I bill ya."
--- Keith MacMillan 69b
First whisper sweet things in my ear;
Take me out to dine;
Bring bottles of wine;
And put all your money right here.
--- Anon
Will you be my Valentine, Honey?
You have stolen my heart!"
But she answered (quell tart!)
"I'd really prefer all your money!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8405
A quarter a hole will suffice.
But sweet Betty Carr,
Who works the club bar,
For one hole gets a much better price.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0508
"I bi-sexual now. You should try it."
What he meant to say--
Let me put it this way:
When he want's to have sex, he must buy it.
--- William N Nesbit P9607 a
She is otherwise harshly explicit.
"You know that your thing
Makes me jump up and sing --
But bring lots of money, next visit."
--- Norm Storer
'Bout three hundred kilos, I've found.
But when she got lice
The whore raised her price!
She now sells herself by the pound.
--- David Miller
The neighbors have all ceased to speak.
I regret Mrs. Wray
Getting stuffy that way,
For she's really the lay that I seek.
--- Grand Prix Lim 136
For though she must trot to her dough,
She appears, day or night,
For Man's sexy delight...
And he comes without having to go.
--- Grand Prix Lim 13
Remarked to the man who moved toward her,
"When approaching a maid
Who's about to be laid,
Be certain that you can afford her."
--- Alsops Foibles
Who said, "Oh, I wish I were rich again,
But each time I'm ahead,
I jump into bed,
With that rotten old gold-digging bitch again."
--- Isaac Asimov P0202
The overtime screw would discourage.
A conductor named Tiding
Fucked too long on the siding,
So she charged the old fellow demurrage.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1463
That the plaintiff paid out on account?"
"Your Honor," she said,
"Just come to my bed,
And I think you'll confirm the amount."
--- Lance Payne P8503A
Was inflamed by the thought of their knees,
He preferred not to meet
The girls of the street,
Since he couldn't afford their high fees.
--- A N Wilkins P8311
This is file glm
Charge a cool hundred bucks for a lay!
With the average guy in it
For less than a minute,
Who today can say "Crime Doesn't Pay!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 16 A
With a cunt twice the size of a whale's;
Now this misguided jade
Rarely gets any trade
For she wants the top rate that prevails.
--- Armand E Singer 883
Would always charge seventy bucks.
But for that she would suck you,
And wink-off and fuck you,
The whole thing was simply deluxe!
--- Anon
Plus dinners and jewels and fur, got
A couple of nights
Of imagined delights,
Which he thought were superb, but he "fergot"...
--- John E Mayhood P0108
Was asked by a fellow with gall,
"For a five will you deal?"
So she gave him a feel.
And said, "Do it yourself in the hall."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1650
All loyal Britons will applaud.
For she went to the States,
Where she charged double rates,
Thus earning many dollars abroad.
--- G2711
Exhibits an open back door.
"It's tighter," she said,
"Than front or the head.
So therefore I charge fifty more"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0305
Five guineas: high income, Laverne.
Most notions of price
Quite rarely suffice
To undermine vehement yearn.
--- Rory Ewins Q
You say: "Want some nookie, my dear?"
They'll ask fifty quid
As an opening bid,
Or call you a damn fucking queer.
--- Anon
Once said, "It's painful to know
That what these girls sell
Is expenseive as hell--
They'd have done it for nothing for Ho.
--- G1837
Would caution each man in the scrimmage,
There'd be less of a bind
If they acted refined,
So that no one would fuck up her image.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8704
Spent most of her time on her tuffet.
She was paid so well,
That her whole clientele
Were Bill Gates and his friend Warren Buffet.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0208
Whose price made a young sailor quake.
He had thought to complain,
But he found in the main,
That she gave all the lads a fair shake.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1449
An unhappy client named Nance
Cried, "It's robbery to pay
What you ask for a lay,
But I'll pay, when you give me my pants.
--- Grand Prix Lim 726
And terrible gasoline prices.
Now even the whore
Wants to charge me much more,
So I've given up lights, gas and vices.
--- Bob Birch P0107
Had a quim that was simply zippy.
The scholars all praised it,
'Till finally she raised it
To prices befitting a chippy.
--- L1038
And you see this weird dude coming teorgia;
So if his excursion's
A search for perversions,
Best make clear that he cannot afeorgia!
--- Norm Storer P0511Q
Told a whore that her price was too stiff.
So he asked how much fuck
He could get for a buck,
And she told him she'd give him a sniff.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1470
Her cunt was an oven of heat.
Her lips were fresh honey,
That said, "Pay me money."
Her ears heard my scampering feet.
--- Travis Brasell
Was a beautiful, long-legged femme.
Her skirt it was short,
And she was heard to report,
It cost fifty to get past the hem.
--- Corkey Bailey
And carelessly picks up a whore,
And he lacks self-control,
He'll end up in the hole,
For seventy-five dollars or more.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2284
She made that fortune gettin' sweaty,
While doing her job
On the shriveled knob,
Belonging to one J. Paul Getty.
--- Anon
As a swell sex relief, cannot fail.
Though she's full of pizzaz
And all of that jazz,
She still demands kale for her tail.
--- Grand Prix Lim 391
Just can't bear to say no to a man.
So for five bucks a week,
She allows us a peek,
On what she calls her lay-away plan.
--- John Ciardi
Who, more than one thought a tad squirrelly;
He'd pay megabucks
For superclass fucks,
But jump off too soon and leave early.
--- Armand E Singer 699
Would fuck by night or by day.
She sucked the men's cocks
To buy Kimberly rocks,
And swore to make every lay pay.
--- G1833
To the lusting Frenchman, "Monsieur,
Give me cheque blanque,
To fill out with franc,
And whatever your ask, I will do her."
--- Ken Bonnell
My first time with a whore, quite nervous,
I asked the lady
Can I get it for free?
Her response was not very courteous.
--- Anon
"How's my credit?" She showed me the door.
It gets hard for a bloke,
When he's friendless and broke.
But I guess that's the fate of the poor.
--- John Ciardi
Who wanted a fifteen cent screw.
"I ain't no hardware store,"
Said the first approached whore,
"So it'll cost a lot more, now, to you."
--- Phil T
Said, "Experience will show, and I know...
You get nooky galore
In ANY love store,
But it's hard, when you haven't the dough."
--- Grand Prix Lim 484
And its dying we deeply deplore.
For today, high tail prices
Turn teenagers to vices,
Like murder, rape, pillage, and gore.
--- Grand Prix Lim 916 P9511A
'Cause she sells men her cute sexy butt;
She is quite gropeable
But now I'm ropeable!
'Cause she didn't give you a price cut."
--- Q
Bought her a spanking new Caddy.
That night at the mansion,
During penile expansion,
Maddie cried, "No sugar, Daddy!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
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