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I love all those foibles of Nancy's -- A sensational maid from Bayshore A woman's supposed to be gracious, If women are incomprehensible, This calendar (bought from the web) A Kentucky cowboy named Bert, The women excel in vivaciousness, I concede that what you say is true, All the love of love sonnets of old, Soft curves that engender romance, Our bodies together, we twirl, I dream of existence sublime, Light touch of our lips in a kiss, A joining that's far beyond dreams, There was a young girlie from Lancing, We know that the femmes are delectable, Constance Trubble is always in view As a lady, I mustn't be rude, A lady must always be sweet, "Yes Mother", to her I would say, (sweeping men off their feet)
My good man, good luck on your quest; Too much has been made of romance; I'm tired of these damyankee twits; It's those cold yankee chicks that I hate, They're slim and they're trim and they're tight. There was a young girl from Oliver, In the village that's well known as Lepp, There once was a girl who's named Meghan, There's a lovely young woman named Donna; You bosomy bountiful girls A cunt who could walk, talk, and fart, There was a young woman called Em, I really am dreadfully choosy, So go get Suzie if you must, The truth about Mary is she's The truth about Mary is he's That's not the sweet Mary I know; I went out with a girl 6' 3", From the earliest days of antiquity My love life looks ready to start, In the park, a young fellow named Stu, There was a young lady named Kitty, In Golly, Texas, there's a dolly, There's a lassie in Antigonish The dirty old man had his say: There was a young girl, Oh so chaste! A delicate maid from Parsippany When choosing a fellow to marry, While preparing the nest for her chicks, (This series was chapter headings of Taking Care Of Mommy)
With her measurements now overflowing, In the hospital, basement to rafter, In her choice of pediatrician, Marci started with great expectations, Before reaching the hospital, Annie Nancy commented to husband Fritz, In their quest to extend their good wishes, From Day One, it was Thelma's intention Karen's pregnancy went without hitches, In her thanks to a misguided shopper, Caroline satisfied like a glutton One brief glance at her measuring tape Jackie's face gave her friend the impression On their first dinner outing alone, When the time came to go back to work, Millie planned her reunion with Pete, From the start it was Marilyn's aim Susan gave her Mom lengthly direction
In fact I love all of her fancies.
Her nipples, her tits,
And her other sweet bits,
Hidden teasingly 'neath her dear pantsies.
--- Peter Wilkins
Had to batten her hatches and door.
But somehow a Hindu
Got in through a window,
And Hindus are hard to ignore.
--- Lims Unlimited
Sagacious and also veracious,
Flirtatious, alert,
Vivacious and pert,
Salacious, and not too loquacious.
--- Limber Limericks
As everyone knows who is sensible,
Then why don't we trap `em
And furtively scrap `em,
Before they become indispensable?
--- Limber Limericks
Near my desk is still showing Miss Feb.
For I can't keep my eyes
Off her glorious thighs --
Spitting image of Bessie is Deb.
--- Anon
Met a city gal in a short skirt.
His face turned bright red;
He spluttered and said,
"You're lovely, you're shapely, you're pert!"
--- Arthur Pattaffy
In graciousness, and in loquaciousness,
Leaving nothing for men
But to work up a yen
To surpass all the femmes in salaciousness.
--- Limber Limericks
But a man must be careful, now, Hugh,
'Cause a woman's singing
Can sometimes be stinging,
And will leave the poor guy in a stew!
--- Anon
With verse my beloved extolled;
Eyes bluer than sky,
Tresses making me sigh,
Finest gold that I love to behold.
--- Joel D Ash P0408
Excitement of love's circumstance;
Pure longing, emotions,
Deep heartfelt devotions,
I hold out my hand for a dance.
--- Joel D Ash P0408
The girl in my arms precious pearl;
A love song is playing,
Forever it's saying,
Fond hopes for the future unfurl.
--- Joel D Ash P0408
My loved one and I lost in time;
Our hearts thus aligned,
Great love so defined,
Perfection of two joined in rhyme.
--- Joel D Ash P0408
Wild soaring in space from this bliss;
Our feelings old fashion,
Igniting grand passion,
Swift plunge in the true love abyss.
--- Joel D Ash P0408
Bright star glint on cupid's dart gleams;
Fulfillment, completion,
The joy of repletion,
Our essence has merged in moonbeams.
--- Joel D Ash P0408
Delightfully pert and entrancing,
Who bet one and all
At the Saturday Ball,
She could make all the fellows come dancing.
--- Peter Wilkins
Whether demimondaine or respectable,
And their many fine points,
Including some joints,
Were never so clearly detectible.
--- Limber Limericks
In some kind of disturbance anew;
It's already been noted
She expects to be voted
Miss Demeanor of Two Thousand Two.
--- J Maynard Kaplan
Though I am sure I am never a prude.
My Mother said, "Daughter,
Be proper you otter,
And never, but never be crude."
--- Jean Fox
Polite and attentive and neat.
Your clothes never wrinkle,
And laugh with a twinkle,
And men you will sweep off their feet.
--- Jean Fox
A good girl -- I'd always obey.
But now I am older
And got so much bolder,
I'm sweeping and running astray!
--- Jean Fox
May you find a rare maiden with zest,
Whose lips give you pleasure
(And reveal hidden treasure)
Who'll not bitch, nag, and whine like the rest.
--- Jeeves
I don't give romance a chance.
They say their goodbyes,
Leaving you butterflies,
And you most times don't get in their pants.
--- Anon
I'll sneak south to stroke sweet 'Bama tits;
Underneath Spanish moss,
On her bush, I will floss
My teeth, and she'll feed me some grits.
--- Allen Wolverton
With asses so big, they look fake.
Those big nasty thighs
Make me run and hide.
It's those Florida babes that I'll date.
--- Coolbreeze
They'll stay and they'll ride you all night.
Their pussies are bald,
And so hot they may scald
Your balls in the palish moonlight.
--- Coolbreeze
And all the men did follow her,
Until a guy came along,
And played her his song,
And all the rest quit callin' her.
--- Anon
The girls there would sure give one pep.
They've a wonderful carriage
And are red-ripe for marriage;
Don't go further if you're taking that step.
--- Linda Marsh Coll
So charming, she had the boys beggin'.
Wanting to get with her,
Just to pet her fur;
She sent them away with tails waggin'.
--- Anon
Most fellows who see her would wanna.
Although she seems naive,
She will rapidly leave
If anyone thinks he is gonna!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Are simply delectable pearls.
Now Lolita is history,
Come show me the mystery
You hide 'neath those beautiful curls.
--- Anon
Was moist and incredibly smart.
Her pal Dick came in,
And so did his twin,
To discuss the dimensions of art.
--- Jayne
As polished and as bright as a gem.
Like the deep diamond mines,
She sparkes and shines,
Though the men get less sweaty in them.
--- Chris Young
For I don't want a tart or a floozy.
I want a woman of class
With and impeccable ass;
I think I should try to get Suzie.
--- Bob Mornington
This is file gdl
She of the firmly round bust.
Look at how snazzy
Sexy and jazzy;
No finer woman can you trust.
--- Arden
Still young and quite eager to please.
She's not yet grown fickle
About who's hard dick'll
Get access to that 'twixt her knees.
--- Jon Gearhart
A guy known as Gary. So please
If you're feeling fickle,
Remember his dick'll
Surprise you -- he's hung to his knees.
--- Randog
She's feminine there down below.
She's got a tight trench
And there's hardly a stench.
She's recently just met Aunt Flo.
--- Jon Gearhart
Blonde and statuesque as could be --
Thoughts of her in my bed
Were struck from my head;
Cold-cocked by a 38-D.
--- Dr Limerick
The men have been known for iniquity,
And the various women
With whom they went swimmin',
Were deeply immersed in obliquity.
--- Limber Limericks
As there's a girl who's stolen my heart.
But I have to confess,
Things are in a mess;
We live five thousand miles apart.
--- Anon
In the late afternoons, liked the view;
For he'd sit and he'd sigh
As the women walked by,
As the sun, on their dresses, shone through.
--- Cap'n Bean
Who was thought by her friends to be pretty.
When "Miss World" was announced,
To the judges she flounced,
They had said she could not win her city.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Who daily walks out with her collie.
They're taking the air
When the weather is fair.
If it's squally, Molly carries a brolly.
--- William K Alsop Jr
Who the boys all agree is a dish.
Do I wish I could bend her
In tender surrender?
Oh I wish! Yes I wish! How I wish!
--- John Mayhood P0112
"I go to the gym every day.
I never work out;
That's not what I'm about;
I ogle the young T and A."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0303
Some boys found this just to their taste.
When they went for a walk
They did nothing but talk,
Which some of their friends called a waste.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Underwent an ecstatic epiphany.
"With my hair decked in flowers,
Young swains wait for hours
One mile downwind to get just a whiff of me!"
--- Stiffy Joe
A girl's predilection will vary.
No man can be sure
Why she should prefer
A Moe--not a Curly nor Larry.
--- Alex Heydon P0412
Mommy's good sense and judgment were nix.
Despite her credentials,
She forgot the essentials
And the first meal at home was breadsticks.
--- Paula Linden P9412
Margaret knew her condition was showing.
For her comfort she fetched
A new wardrobe that stretched,
To give Junior and Mom room for growing.
--- Paula Linden P9412
Wendy's steamer trunk met with much laughter.
Acting most dignified,
She calmly replied,
"I've left room to pack souvenirs after."
--- Paula Linden P9412
Beth was guided by this definition,
"He's on call 'round the clock
For the needs of his flock,
In the best Marcus Welby tradition.
--- Paula Linden P9412
Sifting dozens of recommendations,
But in all of the batch,
Not one sitter did match
Mary Poppins in qualifications.
--- Paula Linden P9412
Was as modest and shy as a granny.
This was quickly removed
Since delivery behooved
That she boldly exhibit her fanny!
--- Paula Linden P9412
"Though it's not quite a nice as the Ritz,
The attention's a treat,
And I'm just a few feet
From a bath with my own private sitz."
--- Paula Linden P9412
Friends and neighbors were most expeditious,
On the fragile excuse
That they might be of use,
They dropped in at times most inauspicious.
--- Paula Linden P9412
To give Danny her total attention,
But the baby's demands
Needed four extra hands,
And a six hour daily extension.
--- Paula Linden P9412
Through delivery right down to the stitches.
With her labor behind,
She was startled to find,
That she still had to cope with those itches.
--- Paula Linden P9412
Mommy's note was the essence of proper.
While her infant reposed,
Mom adeptly composed,
"Laurie loves her electric corn popper."
--- Paula Linden P9412
Every craving from ice cream to mutton.
But her urge to indulge
Left a postpartum bulge;
Now not one skirt or blouse can she button.
--- Paula Linden P9412
Convinced Jane she was quite out of shape.
To her utter surprise
She enjoyed exercise;
Now the gym is her favorite escape.
--- Paula Linden P9412
That she suffered post partum depression.
But instead of the 'blues,'
It was only tight shoes
Which created her woeful expression.
--- Paula Linden P9412
Tom could not keep his wife from the phone.
With a purse full of dimes,
Ann called home sixteen times,
Just between her peas soup and T-bone.
--- Paula Linden P9412
Jenny said to concerned husband, Kirk,
"Everything will be fine,
If you help toe the line.
We can take a trip North as a perk!"
--- Paula Linden P9412
So that baby John wouldn't compete.
An evening of dancing
And quiet romancing,
Made their first night together complete.
--- Paula Linden P9412
To get Tom in the parenting game.
All his efforts were praised
And his confidence raised.
Now 'quick changes' are his claim to fame.
--- Paula Linden P9412
On the art of wet diaper detection.
Till at last she said, "Sue,
Who do you think changed you.
I can handle this job to perfection!"
--- Paula Linden P9412
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