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"I'll do the ropin' and tyin' Once bedded, your militant miss, A lady biologist, Faye, Women's Libbers in business are brash. A reporter who worked on the journal, A bellicose female named Cora, What? Low pay and birthrate concerns? There once was a woman named Ann, We women have thrown off our fetters; When Chiles called women "weaker sex," Unbra'd in her T-shirt, Miss Young, A militant WAC, an old colonel, No women, not grannies, not lasses -- Ugly feminist head rears again, (Clarence Thomas supreme court nominee and judge)
A witty young lad was named Nick The right to decide when to screw 'em The right to decide when to screw, Dear ladies, we don't give a hang, They approached the designer, John Wurtz, Those women who call themselves Ms., The gains now achieved by a Ms., Here's to the girls known as Ms., The ladies don't swoon much these days. Today she would jump on his bones, For us fellows the marital arts But for girls there is plenty of work; Now why should us girls run amuck? With the sexual toys of today, You'll realize when waking at dawn, Someone asked if I still like men. If they make a real oinky point, Women's protests arrest our attention, Women's protests are staged for a cause, Women's protests are often dramatical The local NOW chapter's co-founder She was flying too high, so to ground her Nor did we stop there or flounder; When a woman's a bitch, you don't hound her. I just have to say what I need I want someone to do my nails I'm glad I dropped in here today To do all your housework (unpaid), She'll willingly see to your nails, The candles and wine, though, I'll bring us A forward young girl from Australia A beautiful woman is one's desire, Ah, women! Their cheeks are the rosiest! A fantastic young woman named Beauty Support all the girls who demand Miss World, Miss Japan and Miss Kitts, I know this girl named Beth, She is a rare sight to see; When Dudly Moore came to America, In your southern home, Palladian, The ugliest gals in Pawkisski There was a young lady named Dot, Miss June the First is erased July is but three weeks away, Not this moment, but coming real soon: To my darling lass out in Maryland, A lovely young lady named Valerie, There was a sensational girl I consider it almost a duty There was a young lady named Julie, A woman's a bundle of huffiness Never mind if they're fat or they're lean,
While you do the fetchin' and fryin',"
He said, waxing glib,
But she was a Lib,
So the cowboy's still single and tryin'.
--- Cow Sheep Petersen Rhodes
Is likely to say, with a hiss,
"By God, all us sisters,
Would kick out you misters,
If we didn't need that to fit this."
--- Anon A
Hopes that parthenogenesis may,
Some day sever the nexus,
Between the two sexes.
How I hope I can live 'til that day!
--- Anon
They are tyrants with credit or cash.
But their odd chromosomes
Shift erogenous zones,
And they soon start to grow a moustache.
--- Arthur Deex P8112
Once said to his girlfriend, "Why, sure, Nell,
If you don't mind a mess,
Just hike up your dress,
And then you can use the man's urinal."
--- Isaac Asimov
Thinks wedlock a male-driven horror,
And sub rosa screwing
Ain't what Libs are doing,
Tune in for her answer tomorrow.
--- Anon
Hire N.O.W. to replace the interns!
We know they hug
That big Oval rug;
They've cold asses with ugly knee burns.
--- Annie Jay
Who was said to be quite like a man.
When Nature did call,
She ran down the hall
And went into the gentleman's can.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
We're no longer shy suffragetters.
Of course we can do
Anything that you
Men can, but we do it better.
--- Ericka
It put the whole State in a vex.
"A sexist," they cried.
"Misquoted," replied,
"I really said, 'the week-end sex'."
--- Irving Superior P9103
Caused anti-lib cads to give tongue.
And 'twas off she'd git pissed
When a chauvinist hissed,
"You are certainly, lady, well hung!"
--- Playboy Mag Jim Weaver
Protests in a manner infernal.
Each week, without fail,
She sends a dead whale,
To the Editor: Ladies Home Journal.
--- Anon
Not any such downtrodden classes,
Are allowed in corrals --
Not NO kind of gals --
Just wait until ERA passes.
--- Cow Sheep Petersen Rhodes
Over Willy; well, men will be men.
Clarence got it all wrong.
If he whipped out his dong,
He'd have sailed through ninety to ten.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And made comments witty and slick.
Always quite lucid,
He'd go for the stupid
And feminists wielding their schtick.
--- Anon
Is one that we all now pursue 'em.
But back in the day,
Girls got no real say
In either how much or with whom.
--- Big Little Playboy Lims
Is one that the femmes now pursue.
If the girls get the voice,
In making that choice,
It won't be how much, but with who.
--- Anon
If you start up a feminine gang.
But here is the thing:
If you don't have our ying,
What the hell will you do with your yang.
--- Anon
Who spearheaded man-tailored shirts.
"You cannot decline
To change your design.
We must have zippered flies on our skirts".
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0206
Assert the perogatives of his.
Though clearly obsequious
In matters quite devious,
They still want to sit down to piss.
--- P8112
Make her world more equal to his.
But parity dangles
By reason of angles,
For the Ms. lacked the standing to piss.
--- P8112
They've usurped a world once his.
They've taken our clothes,
Our jobs and our beaux,
But they still have to sit down to piss.
--- P8112
Because of the change in mores.
Their rights equal men's;
They yield to their yens.
They learn a lot: early, more ways.
--- Elois
And regale him with cries and with moans.
A predator, she,
From the east to west sea,
In all the erogenous zones.
--- Eloise
Are a pain like the dropping of farts,
Watching football and boozing
And yawning and snoozing
And scratching one's genital parts.
--- Anon
Scrubbing floors for example's a perk;
Washing dishes and cooking
And cleaning and fooking
And ... why are you going berserk?
--- Anon
Being a maid and occasional fuck,
Might be a good job,
But I hear you're a slob,
With maids then you'd have no luck.
--- Anon
Women don't need men anyway.
We keep them around
Because we have found
Sometimes we need more hands to play.
--- Anon
With buzzer battery overdrawn,
Whatever you say
You'll need men one day,
That little toy won't mow a lawn.
--- Anon
Well, yes, mostly I do, but, then
That's in the abstract
And I might retract
It, about single pigs in the pen.
--- Anon
I might be inspired to anoint
That one with a crown
And my fiercest frown:
"The worst M.C.P. in the joint."
--- Anon
And sometimes they change our intention.
And when done in the nude,
They create a good mood
That's augmented by penile distention.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0304
Such as changing or making new laws.
But their protests work best
With bare pussy and breast,
When they take off their panties and bras.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0304
This is file gel
And sometimes their causes are radical.
Men all like it when they
Show us bare T and A,
Though results are oft times problematical
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0304
Convinced all the ladies around her,
Their son is a louse;
Their father's a souse;
Their husband an all-around bounder.
--- John Miller
We did something sure to astound her...
When we got a chance
We got into her pants;
He attitude now is much sounder.
--- John Miller
We "did" as those ladies around her.
Her daughters as well
And her old maid, Auntie Nell,
Who says that she's glad that we found her.
--- John Miller
And the law takes a hand if you pound her.
It's better to do
A nice friendly screw,
And cheaper than, say, to impound her.
--- John Miller
And I'll get it? It's guaranteed?
Hot damn! Need a maid!
And to be better paid!
From housework I need to be freed!
--- Anon
And cook me those buttery snails!
Wash all the dishes,
Fulfill all my wishes,
And send and receive my e-mails!
--- Anon
Before your kind words went astray.
So when do you think
You can start? (wink, wink!)
I can't wait to get out and play!
--- Anon
And to act as your personal maid,
I have pleaded, cajoled,
And at last I've struck gold,
By persuading my neighbour, young Jade.
--- Anon
Wash your dishes, look after your mails,
Cook escargots in wine
Which are simply divine,
For she picks out the juiciest snails.
--- Anon
And using my flexible fingers
Massage you and rub
You with oils in your tub;
And I hope you enjoy cunnilingus.
--- Anon
Showed off all her paraphernalia.
When starting to preen,
Said, "I feel like a queen,
And people adore my regalia."
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P8611
A homely woman to inspire.
One cannot tire
To gaze upon fire,
For each one is perfect in attire.
--- Anon
Their arms are the warmest and cosiest!
So with much acclaim
It's really a shame,
That women are also the nosiest.
--- Limber Limericks
Was a smart and adventurous cutie;
Although only God knows
Why she asked for a rose;
The result was a beast with some booty!
--- Mark Levy P0408
These gross competitions be banned;
Degrading they be,
As I think you'll agree,
And it's time that we all took a stand.
--- Peter Wilkins
(To name but a few) are the pits;
They are lacking in taste
And should be replaced
With Miss Pussy, Miss Ass and Miss Tits.
--- Peter Wilkins
Whose beauty steals my breath.
Five foot three, eyes of brown,
Long brown hair hanging down,
And always impecably dressed.
--- Gearhart
As flawless gem of artistry.
Always bubbly and warm
And so full of charm.
Those that see me with her, envy me.
--- Gearhart
He gave that cute film star, Bo Derrick, a
Prize-winning 'Ten';
Now I have a yen
To give at least ten to our Ericka.
--- Travis Brasell
We'll find the rhythms circadian.
And I'll shout "Amen!"
When you give me a "Ten",
'Cause that's just like fifteen Canadian!
--- Ericka
Turned beautiful, sexy and frisky.
It happened quite soon
In a raucous saloon,
When I guzzled a fifth of cheap whisky.
--- Travis Brasell
She doesn't know what she has got.
It is a strange gift
That gives egos a lift,
And the boys seem to like it a lot.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
And now has been duly replaced,
By Miss June the Second
More suited, I've reckoned,
To all you good people's good taste.
--- Anon
So send me some good ones, I pray.
I'll pick and I'll edit
And give you the credit;
I get in less trouble that way.
--- Anon
A partner to go with Miss June.
So you ladies as well
Have someplace to dwell,
As you lurk by the light of the moon.
--- Anon
I've shipped myself out in a barrel and
Once I arrive,
I'll eat her alive;
My loving sweet lass name of Carolyn.
--- Gearhart
Charms us all, from the pit to the gallery.
With her feminine grace
And her lovable face,
Dammit! I'd double her salary.
--- Baxter Gill Blue Peter
Who had quite a cute little curl,
And her beautiful face
Made one want to embrace,
Like the oyster embraces the pearl.
--- Warrick Elrod
To recognize art and its beauty.
Like music and poems
And Shakespearean tomes
And the nurse up the road who's a cutie.
--- Peter Wilkins
Whose dad was a Hong Kong born coolie.
The young girl was no fool,
Learned her manners in school.
When introduced to a man, said yours truly.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
And often a bundle of stuffiness.
But a man will come back
To her hut or her shack,
Because she's a bundle of fluffiness.
--- Limber Limericks
Real buxom or somewhere between.
Real bright or real dumb,
Here's one rule of thumb:
It sure helps a lot if they're clean
--- Anon
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