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I've thought every now and again, And so it is fitting today, When that comes, I'm willing to bet, Easter's coming next week, do you care? Easter bunnies are known to be rare If this Sunday you sit on your keister So why are you calling, you creep; If you are a rabbit, I swear, It really hasn't been very funny My sad story doesn't end there; Your milk chocolate is so delicious Oh! Easter! The bliss and the singing, I wish you a good holiday, From Joanna, your most loyal fan --- Although I am not a Peruvi, (Peruvian) (Fourth of July - alien invasion movies of 2005)
It might seem quite corny to say, Today, the old flag I'll display, Ignite your bright fireworks tonight Two hundred and thirty years spanned? Well, Johnny, I'm not one to gloat, Your age, fellows, I'm not quite matching, This year we are having it thrice; Though she quite often walks and makes jokes, So Mom, on this special birthday, The second of Feb, Groundhog Day, Of Parliament, Guy Fawkes was no member, Happy Hiroshima Day! I know some folks question that line; Nukes don't deter war, it's true; Happy Hiroshima Day! Happy Hiroshima Day! Happy Hiroshima Day! The crew of the Enola Gay The crew of the Enola Gay The Enola Gay crew said, "Hey Sarge! Two boyos while slaking their thirst A day off from work, Easter Sunday, We have some days off to remember, We've Halloween, Flag Day and more, More holidays added each year, Retirement's a wonderful thing One hand bestows the holidays, I think it is needed to say, How ironic that Mom passed away They nuture with infinite care, They're sirens of sweet Mercy's call, I tell you the crabby old witch Springtime means one thing for sure: My mother-in-law is a cow; For forty years Joe's led the band, Retirement is not a time to mourn I'm so glad to have you all here -- In Cyprus we'll have our own pool. However, 'cause a pool must be clean. So while Dick makes the pool water pure, Thanksgiving is over -- Hooray! For the Irish, we've got St. Pat, Labor day? We've got it made. I see we both share the same creed; As we celebrate Veteran's Day, Folks hating folks make me grin; To the parents whose bundle of joy She's a beauty and surely a pearl, And now that you're parents, don't weep Hannah, have the best birthday ever; She is funny, kindhearted and proud. As your birthday is the twenty-first,
This Italian, who went to some pain,
Did all of his work,
For title and perk
And glory and wealth of old Spain.
--- Chris Papa
To note in a non-PC way,
If the figures are right,
The time is in sight,
When Hispanics, here will hold sway.
--- Chris Papa
Besides change in language, we'll get,
To cancel out Chris,
Just so we won't miss
The Ponce De Leon Offset.
--- Chris Papa
Are you planning to go to the Fair,
And eat all those homemade
Pies, cakes, and marmalade,
And find goodies from that old hare?
--- Ystap TP9804
If the feast's held in March, and a hare
Has few spring days to mate...
But this year Easter's late --
There'll be bunnies galore, everywhere!
--- Prof M-G TP9804
'Round the table to enjoy a feaster,
Please in some special way
Have a very nice day,
And to you may I say "Happy Easter!"
--- Anon
It's Easter, I'm trying to sleep.
So unless your a rabbit
With a chocolate habit,
Leave your name at the sound of the beep.
--- MrMalo
You must have a magical pair.
Let's meet in the kitchen
With your beauties a-drippin',
I'll lick the milk chocolate from there.
--- Audrey
To fall head over heels for a bunny.
I'm afraid that my bind
May cost me my mind,
All I think of's soft chocolate and honey.
--- Audrey
My dream disappeared in thin air.
Now I know that she's
La Belle Dame sans Merci,
And she's gone with her soft chocolate pears.
--- Audrey
And it's also very nutritious.
Please give me a treat
Outside in the street,
And we'll shock the ultra-fastidious.
--- Audrey
The church-bells a-donging and dinging.
But the hymns not the thing
That makes my mind sing.
No! It's the CHOCOLATE the Rabbit is bringing!
--- Anon
With laughter and loving and play.
With family around,
Good cheer will abound.
Enjoy yourself, that's what I say.
--- Marlene Lewis
The daughter of one truly great man:
I've been very proud;
You stand out in a crowd;
You're the Dad with matchless elan.
--- Dick Hull
I think a parade is just groovy.
But even Scorsese
Would think it is crazy
To name a day after a movie.
--- Lightbulb
(In special millennial way),
Though problems I see,
It's still great to be
Right here in the U.S. of A.
--- Chris Papa
My sarcasm will be put away,
And in a voice clear,
To all who would hear,
Wish our land a Happy Birthday.
--- Chris Papa
With proud independent delight!
To make some amends,
American friends,
I honour your freedom and might.
--- Nick
I no longer think that's so grand.
In just one decade
I will have made
A third of the age of this land!
--- John Miller
Nor intimate you're an old goat,
And the reason, my friend,
I'll not condescend,
Is that we both are in the same boat.
--- Observer
But up with you fast I am catching.
But it's good to enfold
Gals fifty years old,
And feel that you're still cradle-snatching.
--- Tiddy Ogg
In eight weeks we are having it twice.
If you're superstituous,
'98's inauspicious!
Be careful, don't walk on thin ice!
--- John Miller
Her volunteer work helps other folks!
And at Mass each day,
You may hear her pray
That her golf game improves by four strokes.
--- Dick Hull
We're all here to toast you and say:
Go play eighteen holes
And reach all your goals,
But stay as nice as you are here today.
--- Dick Hull
Punxsutawney of Penn. had his say.
In the future he seeks
For another six weeks,
Will Winter keep Springtime away.
--- Mul
So he plotted to kindle an ember.
On his first bonfire night,
Guy forgot to ignite...
But remembers now every November.
--- Prof M-G T9711
The "bomb" will keep bad guys at bay.
This weapon of terror
Makes warfare an error.
(Some folks don't quite see it that way.)
--- John Miller
They say 'twas immoral, a crime.
But in sixty years, brother,
There's not been another.
I'd say the deterrent worked fine.
--- Joe Long
A fact that most all of us rue.
But the fact that we used 'em,
Showed all just how gruesome,
'Twould be, if one came down our flue.
--- Joe Long
I'm sorry the world went that way.
But now it's too late,
So I'll celebrate
With some booze and a good hearty lay.
--- John Miller
Six decades have passed since that fray.
But still I recall
My joy at the fall
Of those nasty Nip nuts far away.
--- John Miller
To the crew of the Enola Gay.
It's really a pity
That you got the wrong city;
Is should have been Bradford, UK.
--- John Miller
Just couldn't bomb Bradford, UK.
Though richly deserved,
'Twas too far to be served.
The same as New York or LA.
--- John Miller
This is file fnm
Must have bombed Bradford, UK.
It wasn't their goal
To blow up this hole,
But it does look much better today.
--- David Miller
How'd they afford a bomb that's so large?"
"Protons cost a quarter,
So we made it shorter.
And the neutrons we got "free of charge".
--- David Miller
Wondered who first would be cursed
On St Patrick's day,
To stay home and play
With the kiddies and eat till he burst.
--- Anon
And Presidents' Day's on a Monday,
And birthdays, like King's,
July the Fourth flings,
And now there's Attila the Hun Day.
--- Travis Brasell
And Christmas, of course, in December;
There's also Thanksgiving,
And days just for living.
And New Year's to drink and get limber.
--- Travis Brasell
Like Valentine's Day to adore
Our "Loves"; then there's Mother's
And Father's Days; others
Like Hanukkuh, Kwanza, and four
--- Travis Brasell
Along with our 'sick days' (oh dear);
We 'Merkins' pay tax
And need to relax,
So give us an "Off Day," ya hear"
--- Travis Brasell
When the bell for the last time does ring.
And then sure enough,
We get every day off,
And life really goes with a swing!
--- Tony Burrell
While the other hand takes them away;
There ain't no lunch free --
Mandatory O.T. (overtime)
In the long run, sees to it we pay!
--- Dr Limerick
In salute on this Mother's Day,
A time for our, "Thanks",
To those in their ranks,
Who help our old world on its way.
--- Chris Papa
On this bright sunny warm Mother's Day.
Now I can love Mother
As I love no other:
She'd be so proud to know I'm not gay!
--- John Miller 0327
Are Love with a countenance fair,
Protect and give aid,
Fix messes we've made,
And show equanimity rare.
--- Chris Papa
And ;help us get up when we fall,
They toil without pause,
Are jewels, because,
Without them, we're nothing at all!
--- Chris Papa
Is a regular naggin' old bitch.
The smelly old critter
Is twisted and bitter.
I wish she would drown in a ditch.
--- PeterW
Another Mother's Day gift to endure.
"It's the thought," I remind,
But what thought's behind
A truckload of topsoil and manure?
--- Latte Lady
And I know it's not Mother's Day now.
But is there a reason
The mom-in-law season
Should last just a day, anyhow?
--- PeterW
Done trips, parades and concerts grand;
Four decades of teens
Know what music means;
A record we hope will always stand.
--- Dick Hull
Or a day to speak a lot of corn.
For our music man,
'Tis a time to plan,
But it's also a time to toot your horn!
--- Dick Hull
And to have Dick's retirement near.
He has had his say,
So this is my way
To make his new life very clear!
--- Dick Hull
So picture Dick playing it cool:
With sunglasses on,
A sportshirt he'll don,
Yes, life will be horribly cruel!
--- Dick Hull
Our retiree must keep it pristine.
He'll relax until
He learns a new skill;
He will wield a mean vacuum machine.
--- Dick Hull
I can go out for my manicure.
Yes, our warm new life
Will charm Dick's wife
And now has a double allure!
--- Dick Hull
Soon it will be Christmas day.
And then New Years Eve,
'Fore Valentines we've
Got more holidays on the way.
--- Ardens
Then Easter -- what do you think of that?
Memorial
July 4th full
Of fireworks and sparkly hats.
--- Arden
Columbus? He gets a parade.
Don't be a meanie
Next Halloweeny,
When goblins your houses invade.
--- Arden
Less week and more weekend, we need.
A holiday each week
And we'll have, so to speak,
A good beginning on heaven, indeed.
--- Azul
Right here in the U. S. of A.
Let us not forget
That we're in their debt,
For the ultimate price some did pay.
--- Carol
They may be nice people within.
But we don't need Walpurgis;
The truth it should urge us;
We're all skeletons, covered with skin.
--- Anon
Caused elation that's not at all coy:
We all give a cheer
And toast you right here,
As you welcome your new little boy.
--- Dick Hull
Your new bundle of love all a-curl.
We send our congrats,
And take off our hats
To the folks with their new baby girl!
--- Dick Hull
But allow us a thought very deep:
We say, Mom and Dad
Please do not be sad,
But it's weeks 'til that first good night's sleep!
--- Dick Hull
I hope you're a great friend forever.
We're two weeks apart,
Which is a good start,
For a friendship we cannot sever!
--- Dick Hull
And we gather to cheer her out loud!
'Cause our fair lady
This day is eighty --
With a life that's been richly endowed.
--- Dick Hull
You can say today you rehearsed.
And tonight it's fine
To drink more wine;
In your honor, we slake our thirst.
--- Dick Hull
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