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A sleep-around hussy named Brickle Diamonds -- a girl's best friend that's bull; A horny satyrical peasant A woman who looked rather quaint From women, LOUCHE ladies draw frowns, Said a naked young lady of Willow, San Antone's in the county of Bear, There was a young lady from Putney, She has put old Coolbreeze to the test, Those "diamonds" you wear are but glass, "On my wife," said a man from South Bend, When I was young, sex wasn't so great -- A pushover pixie of Prumble There once was a lady called Massia, Neither Mother nor Grandma am I. Here's the recipe for Lackanooky: There was a young lady named Wood A lady will not run amuck There was a young lady in Brussels There was a young woman from Hames A fairy-like maid from Cheyenne There was a young woman in Dee, I can get from Sylvester Stallone There was a young girl of Kilkenny, Some say, "Pleased to meet you," to ease you; There was a young fucktress named Bones A sumptuous broad -- a Circassian -- My nips are all perky and pert; I know a young girl from Nebraska; A little old gal from East Hooper A young woman, polite and demure, It's because of men just like you, I like to boff goods that are soiled; When it came to a trick with a chamois, I'd welcome a-bit-of-the-other... I once hired a cowgirl named Mitchell The reason they're known as Dumb Doras -- There was a young girl from Aberystwyth, Misleading is comely Miss Evans; There was a young fellow named Caesar Some people have faulty impressions A lovable lady of Linz All men seem to be of a kind; It's easy to please Mr. Zook; There was a young woman named Bassett The incomparable temptress, Fifi, A vibrator up the ass seems just fine, Not "most women", me -- I'm unique, Said a gal who disdained Willamantic, (Willamantic - what's this, not in my atlas - McW)
There was a poor lass from North Cape Most men think of sex, that is true; Once a young lady from Babbit, Of all the people I hate Zubeneschamali (Randog says it's a star in Libra - McW)
That "Zuben" word's hard to recite A lover-boy bachelor named Booker The animal lustings of Gert A maid from the town Thunder Bay (Santa Fe) A sweet Georgia peach of high station An agile young woman named Treadwell There was a fair maiden named Pitts That Emily's really a hotty; There once was a woman from Chicago, In a trailer, she dwells out in Happy Camp; There was a young buxom Norwegian A young gal with hymen intact, Her face will not launch any fleets;
Whose choice of young men proves her fickle,
Asks not if they're steady,
Just randy and ready,
And blessed with an oversized pickle.
--- Armand Singer
Who wrote that song's really a fool.
If you let their soft hands
Strip off a man's pants,
You hear them sigh... now that looks cool!
Found sex with his girlfriend most pleasant.
When he stroked her bazoom,
She lit up the room!
Erotically flushed, incandescent!
--- Conch
Without any powder or paint,
Reputedly said
As she leaped into bed,
"I look like a saint, but I ain't."
--- Limber Limericks
And are treated like stains on their gowns.
But they delight men
Who'll wait until when
They savor their hips ups and downs.
--- Chris Papa
While placing a polka dot pillow
Beneath her trim bum:
"Sex is sinful to some,
But to me it's a mere peckerdillo!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 092 G2554
Where the girls are so fair and so rare.
They invite to their nest
Only the best,
Like Metro, Goldwynn, and Mayer.
--- Ed Wolfert P8311
Who was given to sexual gluttony.
Warned a pious old duffer,
"Your morals will suffer."
"That's what you think," she said. "I ain't gutney."
--- John Ciardi
As her face and her hair's all a mess.
With a pop and a fizz,
She earned all of my jizz,
In her mouth, on her lips, and her dress.
--- Coolbreeze
Those "gold" rings are nothing but brass,
Those breasts aren't your own,
They are all silicone...
But still you're a fine piece of ass.
--- Anon
"For sex I can never depend.
She has terrible looks
But she cleans and she cooks --
She's a dog, but she is my best friend."
--- Albin Chaplin P9104
(He was done 'fore I got out the gate!)
But now that I'm more mellow,
And have found the right fellow --
Well, believe me, it's never too late!
--- Anon
Is always red hot for a tumble.
With sex in their heads,
Men seek no other beds;
With her service no man can grumble.
--- Grand Prix Lim 780
Than whom there was nobody classier.
Nobility who met her
Could not-etiquette her,
Nor had they an accent cut-glassier.
--- Chris Young
(Only one kind of head in my pie!)
I am young; I am lithe;
I've no fear of the scythe --
Only not having fun is to die.
--- Lucy
Try Cheesecake or a Big Sugar Cookie.
Another good bet
Is hot Crepes Suzette;
You'll cook with Suzette -- she's no rookie.
--- Annie Jay
Who claimed she was misunderstood.
They said she was bad,
But this made her mad;
For in bed all men said she was good.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2393
If she faces her problems with pluck.
In her life she will score
If she acts like a whore,
Who for nothing does not give a fuck.
--- Albin Chaplin
Who keeps her spare cash in her bustles.
When she runs out of food
She stops being good,
And takes off her bustles and hustles.
--- G1748
Who liked to play popular games.
And the ones she liked best
And would often suggest,
Were those without patented names.
--- Lims Unlimited
Was flitting about in a glen;
Her toes were enamelled,
Her spirit untrammelled,
And she pounced upon middle-aged men.
--- Limber Limericks
Who slept with each man she did see.
When it came to a test,
She wished to be best,
And practice makes perfect, you see.
--- L0286
As much as I want; and it's known
That Schwarzenegger begs
For the prize twixt my legs --
A world famous erogenous zone.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8606
Who is worried by lovers so many,
That the saucy young elf,
Means to raffle herself,
And the tickets are two for a penny.
--- Anon
Others say it to simply appease you.
But it's so nice to hear,
When it's really quite clear,
She possesses the sweet meat to please you.
--- Bob Giandomenico P0208
An expert at fondling men's cajones.
She would take them to bed
And give them good head,
And send them off back to their homes.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Turned sexual tricks in high fashion;
Even those poorly hung,
Again felt themselves young:
For such are the uses of passion.
--- Armand E Singer 569
Though freezing, they're ready to flirt
With my little Snooky
Who's looking for nooky
And always on sexual alert.
--- Arden
The bitch is as cold as Alaska.
Her pussy is drippy
As the great Mississippi,
But she sure loves to fuck, so go ask her.
--- Blowcephus T9801
Made love to a young army trooper.
She told the bridge club,
"He had just a stub --
While he was quite bad, I was super!"
--- Marlene Lewis
Would reform the depraved and impure.
She found it a breeze
And did it with ease,
For her work was a mere sinecure.
--- Isaac Asimov A
(Who miss the point and have no clue.)
That I'll never wed,
Again, but my bed,
Is never lacking a good screw.
--- Anon
Enjoyment is never spoiled.
Experience is nice,
Now look at me rise
With gonads severely roiled!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
This is file fnl
I once knew a chick in Miami,
Who could squeegee your knob,
And soak up the blob,
As quick as your dick could go whammy.
--- Hugh Clary
But some gals are not worth the bother,
Except sweet Denise
Whose talent to please,
Has oft made me bawl for my Mother
--- Anon
Diana Juanita Von Twitchell;
If you want a chick
Who'll mangle your dick,
I promise you, son, that old bitch'll!
--- Travis Brasell
We, men-folk, they simply adore us.
Despite our defects,
We're mostly rejects.
They, deaf, blind, and dumbly are for us.
--- Irving Superior P9003
Who screwed every man that she kissed with.
She tickled the balls
Of the men in the halls,
And pulled on the prongs that they pissed with.
--- G0002
Her tits are so small she wears 7's.
But when she undresses
Your prick tumenesces
And takes you right up to the heavens.
--- Armand E Singer 229
Whose girl got too hot when he'd tease her.
To resolve this dilemma
He said, "Step this way Emma
And we'll have three and four in the freezer.'
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0661
Concerning young maids' indiscretions.
If the truth must be known,
The record has shown,
They are learning their future professions.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2123
Just loved to indulge in her sins.
She deplored the great lack
Of a two-pronged attack,
And she often wished that she were twins.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2163
They'll make love just for fun, but you'll find
Women are not about
To make love without
Some ulterior motive in mind.
--- Charles Gail
His wife has a real sultry look.
To screw until dawn
Is what turns him on --
He doesn't expect her to cook.
--- Armand E Singer 444
Who owned a most lucrative asset;
It wasn't the kind
You expected to find --
It was half of the town of Cohasset.
--- Lims Unlimited
Was unmatched for her skills on a spree.
Her swains, wealthy vassals,
Though fuming in passels,
Were abandoned by her recklessly.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P0203
Or a tool in your mouth for to dine.
But if you are willing
And need some real filling,
How about both at the very same time?
--- Lars
Preferring a modest physique
On right charming guys
With bright twinkling eyes,
Who must have amazing technique.
--- Anon
"My boyfriend, I fear's too romantic.
He becomes simply frantic
If I am too antic
With the male population of Yantic."
--- Conrad Aiken
With boobies the size of a grape,
But wiggling her pelvis,
She outdid old Elvis,
And made all her suitors go ape.
--- Armand E Singer 561
Most wives think of other things too.
As for arts of the nights,
Women know what delights,
But they seldom explain it to you.
--- Amego P2006
With the sex life like that of a rabbit,
"Though folks say it's bad
All the nookie I've had,
I can think of many a worse habit!"
--- Anon
The worst is a DILATORY date.
But I fume and stay;
There's no other way,
'Cause what she gives is worth the wait.
--- Chris Papa
Is hotter than a tamale.
I wouldn't lie;
It's in the sky;
They say it's green. How jolly
--- John Miller
And 'neath the dark mantle of night,
I'd rather be thrustin'
With her heavin' bust in
My face, blocking out the star light.
--- Randog
Was pumping his date, a real looker.
At last he said, "Beverly,
You screw all too cleverly;
You've done this before, you old hooker!"
--- Armand E Singer 763
Just ERUPT from this hot extrovert!
Her latest wild caper
Is an ad in the paper:
"ERECTION-DEMOLITION EXPERT!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 761
Was a hell of a wonderful lay;
She would practice coition
In any position
And willingly do it all day.
--- Hugh Oliver 77b
Became overnight a sensation,
When she took on Fort Benning
And charged not a pfenning,
Saying, "Who could do less for her nation?"
--- G0773
Had learned how to frolic in bed well.
She could do a back flip
And a fancy front dip,
And also could stand on her head well.
--- William K Alsop P8910
Who said "Yes sir, you can fuck my tits.
Put your cock in my rear,
My pussy and ear,
And anyplace else that it fits.
--- The Poet
As pussy goes, hers ain't too shoddy.
With plenty of hair
And a fishy air,
It's a good fuck! Just ask anybody.
--- MrMalo
Whose tits were as black as charcoal.
She could skin a man's prick
So God-awful quick,
That sparks flew out of his asshole.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Go see her! She'll show something warm and damp.
When she spreads those lush thighs,
Just ignore all those flies;
You'll buzz too, and bounce on this banging-champ!
--- Anon
Who sparked up the lads in the Legion.
All the heads of the the Post
Said that she was the most,
And the best that they had in the region.
--- Albin Chaplin
Might be a hard nut to crack.
Take the experienced lass
With a mighty big ass.
It's easier when you extract.
--- Anon
Her figure's been ruined by sweets.
She's much older than me,
But I'll keep her, you see,
For the things that she does 'twixt the sheets.
--- John Miller
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