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I met a wild flirty redhead; I like those ladies that flutter; At forty, Bev's younger than Maude, A pretty young thing from Southwick That diva of old, sweet Miss Ella, The contortionist billed "Twisty Bland" There was a young lady named Kubic A tourist in China named Brink There was a young lady named Gates A lady from the University, A contortionist near Seminole What you do, the things that you've said, My goodness! John's waxing rhapsodic The girls of Bordeaux, I'm afraid, Sweet Bethany from old Nether Wallop, A girl I once knew had a face A luscious young student of Vassar My neighbor, the closest I've got, A hefty young maid from Duluth There's a question designed to perplex, When the gymnasts appear, Hey! don't miss them, This woman's a breath of fresh air! There are men here forming a queue There was a young lady from Dover, Steer clear of Big Sal in from Dallas, There was a young girl named O'Grady, If women were only renewable, I've learned this from life on the farm: A man who was classy and haughty, A lady whose figure was ample Those tricks of yours are fantastic, There was a young lady named Rose Ten years in the same grotty sweater, A sweet little nymph name of Duff, I don't want to play hide and seek An acrobat lady named Hope Miss Emmeline Pilkington-Smythe The career of a man in Topeka Every year an old lady named Fannister The wife of the neighborhood minister I once was in love with Bess Yocum And then on my birthday, Beth Yocum, Her hair is the finest of brown; So if my old girlfriend you see, Women of rather large boning, Of women well-rounded and buxom, I like to date ladies near fifty, And I like them twenty or forty, Hey folks, I have come here to please you. Louise, will you take me in hand, The ladies from Deutschland are best, The ladies of Munich and Bonn Well, I'm not from Munich nor Bonn I'm waiting for more sunny weather. I welcome the lovely Louise You're aiming to please -- Oh how nice! Although you might hunger and thirst Why Miss, you're no more than a tease Well, I was just testing, you know, Come over and sit by my side; Miss Merkle was quit e the young slut; "Fuck me", she said in a trance. It is irritating as hell, Breasts small but quite firm and erect; I'm also proud of my own feat So without much further ado,
She invited me home to her bed!
She was wild as a twister,
And so was her sister;
They blew me right out of my head.
--- Limberick
In their mouths they would not melt butter.
These big butch truck drivers
And loaded skydivers.
My goodness! They bring on my stutter!
--- Anon
But they both know their nooky, by God!
So why, at this stage,
Are girls half their age,
More likely to stiffen my rod?
At mating is wonderously quick.
Before the day's over,
She's been rolled in the clover
By every Tom, Harry, and Dick.
--- Macsam
Was renowned for out-fucking her fella.
Long after he's burned,
She continued to churn,
'Til the cream in her fanny turned yella.
--- Loz
Would contract muscles then she'd expand
Others as she'd perform
Until she could conform
To a pretzel shape or ampersand.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9808
Whose face was supremely cherubic.
But you might be misled
Should you get her in bed,
For reasons demonstrably pubic.
--- Armand E Singer 513A
Shacked up with a cute little chink.
Though her snatch in particular
Was quite perpendicular,
She oriented him in a wink.
--- David Miller P8208
Who exercised daily with weights;
At the end of her stint,
She was harder than flint,
And a big disappointment on dates.
--- Lims Unlimited
Was the soul of perversity.
She was into candles
And all kinds of scandals,
And sexual positions of diversity.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Liked to dilate her twat like a bole.
And when she began,
Her randy young man
Didn't know from a head in the hole.
--- Hugh Oliver A096B
In every way you turn my head.
You're gone and I'm lonely;
I want you not only
Because you're earth shattering in bed!
--- Dave Tubbs
Over Pam's and sweet Nellie's erotic
Appeal long ago.
Too bad this tableau
Ain't regularly episodic.
You would hardly consider as staid.
A young Bordelaise
Knows dozens of ways,
In which she can get bordelaide.
--- Lickerish Limericks P9709
Is really a bit of a trollop.
She'll grab any man,
Whenever she can,
Unzip him and gollop his polyp.
--- Q
Which wouldn't have looked out of place
On a walrus or gnu
Or a hippo, but whew!
When it came to a screw, she was ace!
--- Peter Wilkins
Was hailed as a top-of-the-classer.
But not in her studies,
You old fuddy-duddies,
For she shone as a great piece-of-asser.
--- Isaac Asimov
Lives ten miles away on a plot
Of ground that's a rental,
And though she is mental,
The bitch has a helluva twat!
--- Travis Brasell
Got stuck in a telephone booth;
When I asked, "Was it small?"
She replied, "Not at all,
I am massive and you are uncouth."
--- Lims Unlimited
I've been asked in the midst of hot sex.
Can I put it in there?
There's no need to fear;
I know some incredible tricks.
--- Robyn T9710
For there's one gorgeous creature, so lissome,
She can turn quite around,
Lay her hand on the ground,
Or reach her own buttocks and kiss them.
--- Arthur N Wilkins
A female with come in her hair!
Who digs sex and shows it --
Who licks it and blows it --
And then writes all about it with flair!
--- Writerman
To do things that men like to do.
They queue at my door;
Each day there are more;
I'm sure I could spare one or two!
--- Anon
Who couldn't explain just what drover
To seek out a boy,
With whom to enjoy
A lusty, long roll in the clover.
--- Norm Storer P0509
For she'll wear down the mightiest phallus.
Her concupiscent yen
Enervates lusty men
With unwholesome delight and low malice.
--- Grand Prix Lim 218
'Twas rumored that she was no lady.
But she proved there and then
She knew hundreds of men,
Who vowed nothing in her sex was shady.
--- Albin Chaplin
They'd be doubly and triply pursuable.
And think of the fun
If the ladies undone,
Were doubly and triply so doable.
--- Limber Limericks
A lass loves a gentleman's charm,
And she's always thrilled
To have her ass filled
With spunk -- just as long as it's warm!
--- Anon
Loved a girl who was sassy and bawdy.
She liked her sex hot,
But, alas, he did not.
So they compromised, and merely were naughty.
--- Anon
Gave her bounteous goodies to sample.
The experience? Thrilling!
So wet...warm...and willing...
Those big girls set quite an example.
--- Writerman
Amazingly hot and gymnastic!
You've tickled my wurst,
Till I'm ready to burst.
Do your petals react like elastic?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose life was a perpetual pose.
She was told by her dad
She should never be bad,
But she was -- from her head to her toes.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Was lesbian friend, Henrietta;
She worked on the docks,
Was strong as an ox.
And I don't think she smelled much better.
--- David Miller
This is file fml
Of men she could not get enough.
At least ten she retired
And five more had expired.
They discovered the going too rough.
--- Albin Chaplin
With a maid with a strapping physique,
For when I have found her,
Pray, how can I ground her,
When I am so puny and weak?
--- Limber Limericks
Gave a show for the King and the Pope.
She performed on stiff pricks
And she did far more tricks
Than a monkey could do on a rope.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2112
Is wondrously supple and lithe;
Her sexual games,
With fiance James,
She finds most exceedingly blithe.
--- Anon
As a chauvinist stud and self-seeker,
Was exploded one night
When his girl put him right
As to which of the sexes was weaker.
--- Keith MacMillan A052Ba
Gives her neighbors an axle-grease cannister
On the morning of Easter,
And after they've greased her,
They measure her time down the bannister.
--- Cyber Geezer
Thinks sliding on Easter is sinister,
So she did it in Winter;
She slid, hit a splinter,
And found it had slightly diminished her.
--- Anon
Who loved when her breasts, I would stroke 'em.
And I often did
When I was a kid,
And many times suck 'em and soak 'em.
--- Gearhart
Would fondle my balls and she'd stroke 'em.
She'd tit-fuck my meat
To orgasm complete,
As on chin and breasts I would blow cum.
--- Gearhart
She's tall, thin, and very uptown.
She comes with one lick;
She likes long and thick.
Her cunny grips all the way down.
--- H Welchel
(A yank in Paree, Karen B.)
Please tell her I'm well,
And miss her like Hell,
And kill her frog husband for me!
--- H Welchel
And ample bust, not too much toning,
Just good for a fuck?
Please rethink that muck!
We're good for a fuck, suck, and moaning!
--- Kiwigodss
'Tis said that they surely can fuck some.
While those, skin and bones,
Are famed for their moans,
While lithe and athletic can suck some.
--- Frank
When they're a bit slender, not hefty.
And they know what to do
When they're having a screw;
The ones who are strong, smart and thrifty.
--- Charles deTampa
Or thirty as long as they're sporty.
And ladies of fifty?
Of course they are nifty,
But age is no bar if they're naughty.
--- Peter W
You guys, I will hug you and sqeeze you.
And you girlies so sweet,
Get a nice little treat
And learn things which can only Louise do!
--- Eva Bekker
Although I'm the least of this band.
I lust for your charms,
Your thighs and your arms --
Ich liebe ein Frau von Deutschlund.
--- Archie
Be it north or south, east or else west.
They can be quite obscene
If you know what I mean,
And their loving skills stand every test.
--- Archie
Are nicest when they've nothing on.
With me in their bed
And giving them head,
They're arching their necks like a swan.
--- Archie
And surely I've got clothes on,
Because it's damn cold
In this Europe of old;
Of sweaters I brought just a ton.
--- Eva Bekker
May then, if we get together,
I might drop one by one
All clothes that I have on;
All I'll wear won't be more than a feather.
--- Eva Bekker
And tender my bid for a squeeze.
But let me say this,
Although I may miss,
I really am aiming to please.
--- SFA
So listen (I won't tell you twice!),
Take a bath and a shave
After that, please behave
Like a slave and accept my advice.
--- Eva Bekker
For my passion, you must do this first:
Buy me dresses and frills
And top all my bills;
Then in passion, our love might just burst.
--- Eva Bekker
Whose heart's in the grip of a freeze.
Your motive is clear.
So, I'm out of here,
Before I am brought to my knees.
--- SFA
How far you were willing to go.
I don't like men who pay
For a little hot play.
You passed the test, I like you, so:
--- Eva Bekker
I'm here with my arms open wide.
You might get a few kisses
From this lovely Missus;
From you I have nothing to hide.
--- Eva Bekker
Let everyone into her butt.
The dog and the cat,
And somebody's pet rat,
Also had a turn with her cut.
--- Susan Arden
"Line up to get into my pants."
So many young men
Heeded the call then,
The line went from London to France
--- Susan Arden
Limericking to impress my gal.
Her English is bad --
Annoying a tad --
But she makes up for it real well.
--- Anon
Muscles well toned and those select
Places are thrilling,
Warm, tight and willing;
Making bed-time a nice prospect.
--- Anon
To place my cell room's only seat
Where without a hap,
She sits on my lap
Away from my bed by three feet.
--- Anon
I must bid you all quick adieu.
Presently I must
Go to her and just
Undress her and kiss her and screw.
--- Anon
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