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An amorous poet called Joe I could use a cigar from Havana, A neurotic girl from Kilbane, There was a young lady of Andover, He taught his old dog to do tricks; My hormones are in an upheaval; An oft-married actress from Cannes I'm an old bitchy woman, it's true, The carnal desires of Miss Hyers There was a young lady named King, Said a much-diddled dolly named Gissing: When done with my chores I will sit A sister who lived in a cloister, A bus driver, once monkey fishin', The cunthole in cute Miss McWright A girl from the Ottawa Valley The beautiful Angie Malone This big-breasted girl from D.C. When out with young girls on a date, There was a young lass at the lakeshore, In the underbrush, down by the creek, I never turn down a good lay, A girl had an itch in her muff, On a date with a girl, a young Easterner, A silly young woman named Treadwell Now I am having to finger my hole; There was a young lady of learning, Woe is me, for my husband I'm missing; The mere sight of horny Miss Pringle A voluptuous maiden of Queens, Said the girl from near Shenandoah Which reminds me, my dear, you are late To the impotent fellow from Letcher, One time, I saw this cute dude; In her quest for a man, widow Cotter There was a young girl named Jeanette A lady astrologist in Vancouver, There was a young widow named Verity There was a young lady from Crewe Watch out for this big sexy miss, The pudenda of Pansy P Pott She lay on the bed in the nude With a chance to be reborn again, Asleep or awake I'm enthralled "As for sex," smiled the round-heeled Ms. Blaine, A hillbilly from West Virginia A gal with a mouth loud and sassy, Lady Jane is on a great quest, An unhappy blonde in Pompeii In Spring, guess where ladies' thoughts turn? That's a nice bit of stud for us girls, An up-to-date gal says she's found At Newlyn, a furious filly It's not a bad life for a girl, On May Day, the girls of Penzance, There was a young girl from Toledo There was a young girl from Luton Kind sir,I know you're no fool, There was a young woman from Lansing, There was a young girl of Madras That muscled, tight butt -- ain't it sweet? There was a bad girl from Penzance, A promised young maid, in the spring, I'll never again get me stuck My advice my bitch will not heed; A young sausage stuffer, Miss Binks, The cunt of a lady named Cratchet
Went down on a woman called Bo.
She arrived fifteen times
While he murmured soft rhymes,
Then she left: Easy come, easy go!
--- Anon
Or a big ripe yellow banana.
If I don't find a pole
To fill up this hole,
I might even consider a man-a!
--- Anon
Once fucked every man on a train.
"My nerves, it will cure;
But can I endure,
The boredom of being too sane?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And the boys used to ask her to hand over
Her sexual favor,
Which she did (May God save her!)
For her morals she had no command over.
--- L0806
The result was a temporal fix.
He was such a good master;
His daughter learned faster
With Harrys, with Toms, and with Dicks.
--- Anon
I feel like a wobbly weevil.
My nerves are on edge;
Panties in a wedge.
My thoughts are deliciously evil.
--- Carol
Was known for her men and her tan.
Alone she awoke,
Stretched slowly and spoke:
"It's good to feel like a new man."
--- Macsam
And there's no eggs to get with their glue.
They can shoot what they got
If they find the G-spot;
At eighteen, most don't have a clue.
--- Kathi Webster
Are assuaged by young firemen at fires.
She remarked, "Goodness knows,
Firemen all have a hose,
Which is all a gal really requires!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 621
A sweet and adorable thing.
She did nothing at all
In the winter and fall,
But she sure had a fling in the spring.
--- Albin Chaplin
"Virgins don't know what their missing!
Though I'm not very lewd,
I enjoy being screwed--
That's what a cunt's for, besides pissing."
--- G1556
And rest or, perhaps, take my shit-
Zus, collies and labs,
To see neighbor Babs,
Who treats us old dogs to her clit.
--- Anon
Went in search of the pearl in the oyster:
This innocent girl
Soon located the pearl,
And the oyster got hotter and moister!
--- Anon
Put a sign on his bus, "FREE COITION."
From lake to seaside
Women came for the ride,
And Boy! Did he strip his transmission!
--- Grand Prix Lim 469
Is not only juicy and tight,
It is FREE man; it's FREE!
Which is why you'll find me
Inside Miss McWright every night.
--- G1828
Can be either snooty or pally,
She's as cold as all heck,
On the promenade deck,
But get her alone in the galley!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Insists she was raped on the phone,
With no great resistance
By a guy on long distance...
Would I like to get Angie alone!
--- Grand Prix Lim 858
Was famous for being easy.
Her tits, she would flash 'em,
And let the boys mash 'em,
Then get into their white BVD's
--- Laurence Craft
Remain calm and be cool and sedate.
When they badger, don't flinch --
If you give in an inch,
They'll proceed to take seven or eight.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0430
Who'd lie in the shallows and implore
The Gods of the Sea
To roll up past her knee,
Her personal shoreline to explore.
--- Dublew Ardee
Horny men twiddled Hepzibah's tweek.
"Such a mishap," she cried,
"Makes me wish I'd a died!"
But she keeps going back every week!
--- Grand Prix Lim 553
But this ain't no gang bang AA.
I'm shy and demure,
And wholesomely pure,
But don't mind a little fourplay.
--- Anon
That caused her to strip to the buff,
To scratch where it itched,
While she fumed and she bitched.
For that itch her hand's not enough.
--- ROE
He had thought he would have a fine feast on her.
When came time for the ride,
'Twas like Jekyll and Hyde --
He had roused a most hideous beast in her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2030
Went out to confession and said, "Well,
My morals are loose,
But I have an excuse,
For God didn't screw on my head well.
--- William K Alsop P9209
See I haven't a man with a pole.
No one with a wick
In my fanny to stick, (Brit fanny = snatch)
And fingering ain't good for the soul!
--- Anon
In matters of sex was discerning.
She affirmed a desire
For a man with some fire,
Who would help keep the home fires burning.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0240
I long for some loving and kissing.
The thing on my car hood
Is starting to look good,
But I'll wait 'cause the radiator's hissing.
--- Jeanie
Causes male genitalia to tingle.
Every cocksman in town
Has roped that girl down --
We all hope to hell she stays single.
--- G0723
As she passed through her turbulent teens,
Grew incredibly cool
At the beach or the pool --
And unbeaarably hot in the jeans.
--- Keith MacMillan A087D
"If it wasn't for spermatozoa,
I would call Mr. Stang
To drop in for a bang,
For I'm in a hot mood for some moah!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 568
With payment for your horny mate.
Please soon remand,
Before you need a hand
'Stead of me. Lover, don't wait!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The lady remarked, "Glad I've metcher.
I have long had this yen
To erect you again --
If you find you can't come, then I'll fetcher.
--- Hugh Oliver A109A
This is file fjl
He asked me to go out for food.
We went out, instead,
For a beer, and some head.
See what happens when you're in the mood?
--- Anon
Placed an ad in the Evening Globe Trotter:
I have tits and a snatch,
Need a prick that will match,
And I'll throw in my fine teenage daughter.
--- Albin Chaplin
Who once made the sexual bet
That she could stay high
Much longer than I.
She is now seven screws deep in debt.
--- Isaac Asimov
Once captured a man by maneuver.
Influenced by Venus,
She jumped on his penis
And nothing on Earth could remove her.
--- Anon
Who peddled her ass just for charity.
She'd bugger or fuck,
And occasionally suck,
Which accounted for her popularity.
--- G1883
Who liked to have a pump and a screw.
She preferred it on top,
And just couldn't stop
Until the bloke she was screwing turned blue.
--- Mushroom
For at first she'll just ask for a kiss,
But with men who are hunks
She will pull down her trunks,
And with legs in the air yell, "Lap this!"
--- Bob Birch
At all times is sizzling hot...
A mere leer from a dude
Gets her into the mood,
So hot Pansy Pott lays a lot!
--- Grand Prix Lim 184
Looking wanton; incredibly lewd.
With her legs wide apart
She said, "When do we start?"
I was shocked even though I'm no prude.
--- Anon
"As a train track" she said with a grin.
St Peter, eyes dipping,
Read the news clipping:
"Train track laid by 500 men."
--- Res Ipsa a
With big men who are mostly bald.
I'd rub, pat and thrill
Him, head to toes till
When I'm through, he'll be just appalled!
--- Anon
"I just love it and feeling no pain;
When life gets too stormy,
It does so much for me,
I don't try very hard to abstain."
--- Armand E Singer 950
Had the hots for luscious Lavinia.
But another fine filly
Had the hots for hillbilly
And said to Lavinia, "I'll spin ya!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
At the boys she did shake her assy.
For them she did yearn,
But her they would spurn,
Favoring ladies who were much more classy.
--- Anon
Searching hard: North, South, East, and West;
She's seeking John Miller,
The Limerick Guerrilla,
And wants to eat lunch off his chest.
--- David Miller
In a taxi remarked, "For a lay
I'm inclined to be lenient
When it is convenient...
Here, I'm sure to be made the hard way!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 427
And what is it for which they yearn?
Is it chivalrous love
They are thinking of?
Or a man who can make them burn?
--- Kaylin Brandon
With enough meat to well part my curls.
Though I may hate to share him.
Now, as for my harem,
They get jealous (unspeakable churls).
--- Anon
That her marriage is stable and sound.
It does not interfere
With her long-time career
Which was, and is, sleeping around.
--- James Wade P8303
Cried, "Christ! I have frigged myself silly.
I cannot get Granny
To tickle my fanny;
I'll marry that bugger Bo Diddley."
--- G2123
Whether human, yak, llama, or squirrel...
In her lifetime she'll meet
Many males...all in heat,
And all drooling to give her a whirl...
--- Grand Prix Lim 415
Being bored by a lack of romance,
Joined the worker's parade
With this banner displayed:
"What the Pants of Penzance Need is Ants."
--- Anon L1510
Who wanted to free her libido.
"Self-realization
Through advanced copulation
And ever-more sex," was her credo.
--- Isaac Asimov
Who liked to sleep on a futon.
But she soon wanted more
Than an inch off the floor,
And somewhere to just put her newt on.
--- Anon
And although I seem sexually cool,
I'm really frustrated
And need to be sated,
By a man with an experienced tool.
--- Anon
Who said, "Spring is the time for romancing.
There surely must be
A young man for me,
For my love life could use some enhancing."
--- SJ623
Whose marriage was as fragile as glass,
For her husband, sweet dove,
Needed plenty of love,
But this bitch had a hunger for ass.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0253
Hey, who the hell turned up the heat?
I'm sweaty and hot.
I'll see if he's got
A sweet, yummy, nice cooling treat.
--- Anon
Let all the boys into her pants.
The boys took their turn,
And respect she did earn,
While the good girls did not stand a chance.
--- Anon
Decided she'd have one last fling.
So she made her hair curly,
Left home feeling squirrely;
No luck: she'd not take off the ring.
--- Mlandc
As a maid and a once-a-week fuck.
Unless he's a guy,
Who wants sex like I,
I'd rather get hit by a truck.
--- Anon
All she wants is just to do the deed.
I pity her so,
For her feelings I know;
No one around to fulfill the need.
--- lilsil2
Stuffed sausage all day into links.
Her nightly routine
Was more sausage between,
And she never could catch forty winks.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0048
Appeared as if slashed by a hatchet.
Though she searched every day
Her desire to allay,
She could not find a man who would scratch it.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0426
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