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There was an old coot named McGarity A once-prudish damsel named Fletcher, There was a young lady from Clyde The chick's only after my noodle, You won't need to pass up this chance, They come to my home, lick and tease me. A hot little pot from Dakota This widow who's living in Michigan -- I watched as he walked 'cross the room; A dolly from Morningside Heights A precursor to good rampant sex, "A horror of pink cotton candy" I give you the estrous Miss Lott, His daughters could do naught but mumble; There's nothing like Red Neck romance; An exhausted young man from Sheboygan There once were a couple of rockers, "No men left for me? I'm not pleased!" "You really can't blame me for trying" The answer of course is a firm no; Itchy-gitchy wee Lili of Nice In a letter, a widow from Breaulieu, Yours truly.
There was a young woman from Brady She staggers in drunk and a mess, Please turn down the bed, light the light, A candid young girl named McMillan I walked the streets one fine day, A lady of means was Miss Cord; In the park an old maid with a need, There was an old girl of Tarentum Sometimes when a girl's feeling horny, There's a sweet little girl from Tibet A maiden was frequently dated As I deftly move in for the kill, An old maid on a camping vacation Said a lady whose named was Miss Lee She said to herself, "What's his age? It would be public service, my dears -- A teacher will not make the grade The genital itch of Miss Wing Until she was nearly thirteen There once was an old goat named Dell, A girl who was horny and hot, A flowery young maid from Kailua A popular girl from Toledo A flagitious young fizgig named Jane, A young lad went often to court. Any ladies, who feel quite depraved, Employed on my ranch is Hope Holt We all know that the Welsh go for sheep, "I must give up my girl friend," said Nate. I'm saying me prayers to St Jude, A horny young woman I know A sex-crazy girl named O'Dwyer, WHEN! WHEN! WHEN! WHEN! WHEN! Confessed a young maiden named Zane, A spirited female named Hooker A retiring old fellow of Dayton Lady Genevieve Gathercole Grame An oversexed female named Tupper A woman he tried not to covet, How low can a girl get? Who knows? There's a brash Neopolitan lass But when matters had come to this pass, What I lack is a lover, alas, So I took one more look at her chass-
To whom sex had, for years, been a rarity.
Then a doll of Queens County
Gave him of her bounty,
Due more to hot pants than real charity.
--- Grand Prix Lim 926 a
Who succumbed to the wiles of a lecher,
Found it exhilarating
So she kept the guy mating
Till they carried him out on a stretcher!
--- Grand Prix Lim 200
Whom no one would pick for a bride.
She screamed with delight
When accosted one night;
It was only a thorn in her side.
--- Albin Chaplin
That she hates to see destitutal.
And she thinks little Huey
Would make a nice chewy,
Like her poodle when looking for food 'll.
--- Anon
Dearest Wuzzums; I see at a glance
By the heave of your bust
That you're panting with lust,
For a feel of the bulge in my pants.
--- Anon
I like someone there who can please me.
With legs spread wide,
They want me inside,
And they know just how to release me.
--- Lovs2Laf
Never dodges the men one iota...
A pole in her hole
Is the doll's daily goal,
And she always runs over her quota!
--- Grand Prix Lim 594
You can tell when she's getting the itchigan,
From the flush of her skin
And the sphinxian grin
On the postman who's filling her nichigan.
--- Hugh Oliver A064B
What I saw chased out all thoughts of gloom.
And I said "Oh Boy!
I do want that toy!
In my mind, there are fantasies a-bloom.
--- Robyn
Says sex provides all her delights.
When she hasn't the rag on,
She gets half a jag on,
And spends her time fucking at nights.
--- G0137
Is a glimpse of some fine firmed-up pecs,
With legs open wide,
Arise fine male pride!
And please your love muscle do flex.
--- Jayne
Was the way that I'd once described Mandy,
But she proved me untrue
When her fingers just flew.
She's not only randy but handy.
--- 53-MERC
A pushover, more times than not;
Most men find her willing
To welcome their spilling,
And park their hot cum in her twat.
--- Armand Singer
All their school play lines they would fumble.
But they liked the guys
Who caressed their thighs
And they were all ready to tumble.
--- Anon
Dixie boys can make you drop your pants.
Their down-home moonshine,
And possum combine
To put your heart in a real trance.
--- Anon
To his girl said, "I simply can't go again!"
Nothing daauted, said she,
"Well, it's now up to me
To rekindle some life in the boy again."
--- Keith MacMillan A124D
Who went out with a bird with big Dockers.
She'd purchased these pants
On her last trip to France,
And removed them for all kinds of cockers.
--- Anon
Said the Goddess, not quickly appeased.
"The best ones are taken,
Or gay, or foresaken,
And the rest of the lot are diseased!
--- Writerman
The maiden remarked with a sighing.
"Though I truthfully say
Let's not roll in the hay,
It seems that I always am lying."
--- Fred Cohen P8405
My girlfriends do already know
When they stay here the night,
There's a fair and good fight
In the sex battle. Oh! Such good show!
--- Anon
Has a yen that seems never to cease.
The gal loves to frolic
With a real sexaholic
Or a lush alcohorniac piece.
--- Grand Prix Lim 361
Wrote: Sir, I don't worry unduly
That it maybe thought
That my sex drive is naught
What it was. I remain, Sir,
--- Cedric T Davie P9605
Who tried to behave like a lady,
But her past was so dark
From her larks in the park,
That her present and future were shady.
--- Limber Limericks
And torn and bedraggled her dress.
But at least she's at home,
So I'm not alone;
She's primed and she's ready for sex!
--- Anon
'Cause I've lost my head, can't see right.
This man's got me steaming;
All day I've been dreaming:
So I'll get back home late tonight!
--- Jorna
Replied to an arrogant villain,
Who leered, "Now I'll rape you!"
With, "I can't escape you,
But rape me you can't -- I'm too willin'."
--- G0652
And passed a game girl on the way.
Though her lips said nuttin',
She started to unbutton,
And I got myself one damn fine lay.
--- Straydog
All pleasures in life she explored.
Yet this lady demure
Was in truth insecure,
For wherever she went, she was bored.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0094
On her whistle for rape did proceed
To blow hard -- but she cursed
Till her lungs fairly burst,
For no gentleman paid any heed.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2207
Who couldn't get men, so she'd rent 'em.
She invariably said,
As they got out of bed,
"Now, didn't you like my placentum?"
--- G1874
Whether it be afternoon or still morny,
She must use what's at hand,
And if there's no man,
She might choose to mess with Siguorney.
--- Anon
Who in singles bars often is met --
Should you ask, "What's your sign?"
While caressing her spine,
She'll answer, "mine's Slippery When Wet."
--- Arthur Deex P8904
Because she had openly stated,
That she wanted to try
Every possible guy,
To ensure being suitably mated.
--- Limber Limericks
This is file gil
I may wonder if she's on the pill.
If she's somebody's wife,
Should I fear for my life?
(Nothing matters, of course, if she WILL!)
--- Anon
From her tent cried, "I need copulation!"
So a man from Ft. Sumpter
Went in there and humped her
And came out to a standing ovation.
--- Michael Weinstein P8709
"I have wasted my life I can see.
I've spent four years at college,
Not strictly for knowledge,
And WHOM has it gotten me?"
--- Michael F Ellis P8902
The guy is a wit and a sage."
The girls when they chatter,
Say, "What does it matter?
That stud should be kept in a cage."
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
To teach them how to use their spears.
To teach them to please us,
And nibble and tease us;
Do I hear any volunteers.
--- Kaylin Brandon
Unless she's both modest and staid.
But teaching subtraction
Lacks cunt satisfation.
She'd rather go home and get laid.
--- Julia Strawn P8808
Caused a riot last week in Big Spring.
Ten men dropped their pants
For a go at her ants,
But they didn't calm down a damned thing.
--- G0816
Her record was pure and pristine,
But now with the boys,
Whom she clearly enjoys,
She is known as the 'fucking machine.'
--- Lance Payne P8812
Who said that you never could tell
What kinda bitches
Wanted into his britches,
Or followed him 'round by the smell.
--- Anon
Lying nude and supine on her cot,
Yearned for a dick
She could suck on and lick,
And a tongue that would tickle her twat!
--- Little Richard
Would prefer to be playful than pua,
But went to excess
When she stripped off her dress,
And invited the townsfolk to scrua.
--- Hugh Oliver
Is known for her active libido.
A mere touch or kiss
And this volatile miss
Is off like an uncorked torpedo.
--- Evelyn Bogen P9805
Caused a small lexicographer pain,
When she said, "Man, you're failin'
My sesquipedalian
Test for the guys who I've lain'."
--- Don Moore P0312
On returning he gave this report:
"The ladies in waiting
Are waiting for mating,
So it's not a last place of resort."
--- Laurence Perrine P8405
Don't care if you're hairy or shaved;
If you're willing to show "tail",
He'll price 'em at "hole-sale";
And "handle-ing charges" are waived!
--- Anon
Who's threatening to lead a revolt,
If she and all others
Who're sisters and mothers,
Can't fuck the long cock of my colt.
--- Anon
And forever your Bessie you'll keep.
Monkey's hands are so nifty
But I find nothing shifty
If a stud should plunge into me, deep.
--- Ulla
"She demands far too much on a date.
Although fairness is due me,
She would much rather screw me --
If I give in one inch, she wants eight."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0274
To keep away thoughts that are lewd.
He'll do what he can
To get me a man,
And we'll wed, and we'll bed, is that rude?
--- Linda Marsh Coll
Climbed to the top of a pole.
She stuck it in deep,
And rode it till she
Had watered the flowers below.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who felt that her crotch was on fire,
Played the tart in bordellos
Where horny young fellows
Brought the thing only men could supply 'er.
--- G1845
In the bedroom, the bathroom, the den!
Do it to me now
Anyway, anyhow --
Just appease for me, please, this great yen!
--- Ericka
"I know there's no gain without pain.
So that's why I'm ready
Whenever my steady
Wants into my private domain."
--- Armand E Singer 898
Knew surges of passion that shook her;
She'd always explain,
She granted free reign
To urges wherever they took her.
--- Armand E Singer 742
Has begun to lose interest in matin',
And his wife, bless her soul,
Suffers loss of control,
Being hotly frustrated from waitin'.
--- Keith MacMillan A095B
Was rather a scandalous dame.
With a duke or a king
She would do anything,
And with cockneys or housemen, the same.
--- Warrick Elrod
Knew just what she wished to have up her;
Said she, "Something firm,
A worm with a squirm,
And filling as stew -- for one's supper."
--- Armand E Singer 37
Was horny and knew she would love it.
So taking a chance,
She wrote on her pants,
"Pull down here and see where to shove it!"
--- Anon
Once she has peeled off her clothes,
And spread flat on her back,
With your cock in her crack,
You don't care how low the bitch goes!
--- G1817
With a sassy, Italianate ass,
And I viewed with amaze
This inducement to graze
(Since the Bible insists flesh is grass);
--- Thomas A Quinine P8301
She denounced my devotions as crass.
"Am I merely the cud
For a runimant stud --
Or a lay from the laboring class?
--- Thomas A Quinine P8301
With some heterosexual sass,
I have nothing to chew
That need occupy you,
With your nibbling, herbivorous brass."
--- Thomas A Quinine P8301
-is with mightly inviting crevasse,
And decided right there
On the part with the hair --
For I'd rather affront than harass!
--- Thomas A Quinine P8301
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