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I dare not do very much more There was a young man from Cape Hatteras, Our illustrious CEO Ed, There once was a man named McGruder, (...got ruder and screwed her.)
Young lady, please pardon my stare; Oh Eunice, I'll soon have you dripping Of course 'twould be quite true to say, There was a young fellow named Charteris, Each maid that this fellow would hire, Your knowledge of women is vast -- My darling, 'tis you I desire; There was a young lady named Lynch Discreetly through holes in this sheet No no, Sadie dear, that's me toe; Oh Sue, the short straw you have drawn; There was a young girl from Annister, Candy's dandy, they say, but I snicker Come here next to me, take your ease. On your neck I'll begin to caress; Down your back, my fingers begin, Lower and lower down your back. To your head and down to your toes, Your breathing is slow and steady. My Sweet, your thigh muscles are tight; There was a lewd fellow named Mott, There once was a man named Raus, We snog and I'm checking her snotch. An insatiable damsel named Bridget Upon my poor soul cast thy pity! There once was a girl from Paducah, This man was so horny it hurt! Being on June twenty-three, There was a young fellow from Stroud, Women? I love them when ripping And when I have finished with stripping 'em, Miss Manners is flipping her lid, Oh Petal, alas and alack, A joker who haunts Monticello While nursing my trouser commotion, An eager young man from Connecticut A nervous young virgin named Ritt, A handsome young boy named Pat, Fury's not found in my sounds; It's possible, time on the strand Whichever, the lure is as fetching The thought of you resting on knees, There once was a lady named Liz A princess who lived in a castle There was a young lady of Wheeling As he groped in the car for directions, To the cafe, Sue brought a Love Potion There's only one thing that can chamois Three girly-men, all dressed in leather, There once was a fellow named James "Nope, want to use one of my own", In Chicago a lady named Anna (Fifth Liners - limerick society in New York City)
With excitement I fainted last night; There was a young woman named Annie, While fingering Ms. Tif at the flicks, You must be as quiet as a mouse, There's nothing like sex in the seats, Who's that up there on the scren? My God what a glorious schlong! Let's cuddle up, hand upon crotch. He played show and tell with his Pam. (To hunt the bearded clam use a trouser worm for bait - McW)
Molluscs hirsute cause me grief.
Than just nuzzle and gently explore.
I don't think I'd cope
With much more than a grope,
For I'd faint with excitement, I'm sure.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
When he saw a girl, first he would pat her ass,
Then strip her chemise
From her tits to her knees,
And at last let his weapon get at her ass.
--- G0544
Always chants when he gets into bed.
"I'll grow by one half,
It will beef up my staff,
Let's get down (to business), 'nuf said."
--- Anon
Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder.
But the girl thought it crude
To be wooed in the nude,
So McGru took and oar and subduder.
--- Anon
Your pussy is sweet and so fair!
Your ass is great too,
And if we should screw,
You also sport a great pair!
--- Little Richard
And wetter than when you're sheep-dipping.
When I start to nibble,
You won't drool but dribble,
Then into your tail I'll be ripping.
--- Anon
This strapping lad's into foreplay;
You won't need a strap,
For only the clap
Can keep me from coming your way.
--- Anon
Put his hand where his young lady's garter is.
She said, "I don't mind,
Up higher you'll find,
The place where my pisser and farter is."
--- L0017
The first thing, politely he'd "Hi" her,
Then eye her her toes,
Then up his eye goes.
Then hire if happy when higher.
--- Irving Superior P9408
Nice and easy will just make it last --
But when desire's strong,
Foreplay takes too long --
Make it hot, and hard, and fast!
--- Kaylin Brandon
You're sending my blood-pressure higher.
Just know you're to blame,
If my torch should flame,
And cause an unwanted bush fire.
--- Anon
Who would not give in -- not an inch --
Till a fellow named Grable
Fucked her twice 'neath the table,
And he started it all with a pinch.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0248
Poke various pieces of meat;
So blindfold, come kneel,
All you girls, have a feel,
And with luck you'll be in for a treat.
--- Peter Wilkins
And that there's a finger, young Flo.
And sat on me nose,
I suppose, is old Rose;
I can tell from the smell, don't ya know.
--- Peter Wilkins
A Chinese concoction of prawn;
A jokey spring roll,
I've done poked through that hole,
And .. oh yes! That's the jackpot, sweet Dawn!
--- Peter Wilkins
Who dated a lecherous mister.
He fondled her titty,
Got one finger shitty,
Then screwed up his courage and kissed her.
--- G0006
At those who say liquor is quicker;
A quick lick of my Candy
Does the trick when I'm randy
Much quicker than candy or liquor.
--- John Miller 0141
I know what to do, it will please.
Lay there, now hush,
I don't want to rush,
You'll like this, I do guarantee.
--- Anon
With my fingers I'will lightly press.
In a circular motion,
I'll make a love potion,
And relieve your body of stress.
--- Anon
To press harder there on your skin.
Did I hear a moan?
You're not alone.
This feels too good; must be a sin.
--- Anon
Up and down to your crack.
Lay there; be still.
Or I might, yes I will,
Give your cute ass a nice little smack.
--- Anon
You'll feel the warmth from me flow.
And when I am done,
You'll wonder, hon,
If you ever want me to go.
--- Anon
Are you asleep already?
No, I don't think so,
You're smiling, I know.
Roll over. It's time for some heady.
--- Anon
I may have to rub them all night.
Will you mind very much
My massage oil's touch,
Or an occasional, affectionate bite?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who remarked, as he fingered a twat:
"Some guys, so I'm told,
Like to lay a girl cold,
But they're more fun to fuck when they're hot!"
--- G2431
Had one hell of an ugly spouse.
A bag on her head
When going to bed,
And a sex magazine just to arouse.
--- Chaine J Selig
(Three minutes and no wetness of crotch.)
If she doesn't respond,
This very second,
I'll crank up the foreplay a notch.
--- SFA
Was likely to mutter and fidget,
Whenever some jerk (Whenever some pup)
Couln't manage to work (Couldn't seem to work up)
Up a quick enough rise to the rigid.
--- Isaac Asimov
Oh, fear! daylight dawns o'er the city!
I've farspent the night
On foreplay quite trite;
My cock cameth not suckling titty!
--- Anon
Who said, "Though this guy's a palooka,
I can really get hot
When he finds the right spot,
And kisses and nibbles my nucha. (nape of the neck)
--- Ed Potts P8801
At dinner put his wife on alert.
"For my entree instead,
I'll fuck you on the bed,
Then have oral sex for dessert.
--- Laurence Craft
What more pleasure can this fellow see,
Than to sit by the fire
With his heart's desire,
Jug of punch, favorite wench, sure and me!
--- Matthew Montchalin
Who was feeling his girl in a crowd.
A fellow up front
Said, "Hmmmm...Smell a cunt."
Just like that, very soft, not too loud.
--- Anon
This is file eym
Their panties apart while unzipping
My trousers to show
What I have down below,
'Cause it soon gets them panting and dripping.
--- Peter W
I love to continue by flipping 'em
On to their backs
While I fondle their cracks.
(You can guess what I'm thinking of slipping 'em.)
--- Peter W
On her date with a handsome young kid.
He thought he was sly
As he fondled her thigh.
She told him to stop -- and he did!
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
I'm afraid every liquor store rack
Was devoid of champagne;
Please forgive me again.
Can I massage your shoulders and back?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Is a really terrible fellow.
In the midst of caresses,
He fills ladies dresses
With garter snakes, ice cubes, and jello.
--- G2430
I'll fondle with utter devotion
Your petals, just here
In your panties, my dear,
With a throbbing, vibrating emotion?
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Scorned foreplay and rushed for the predicate.
His impatient humping
Set all his dates grumping;
Their consensus: he's lacking in etiquette.
--- Bruce
Once let a young man stroke her teat.
She moaned and she thrashed,
But when his hand touched her gash,
She was so hot and bothered, she shit.
--- Anon
With girls would enjoy this and that.
He meant to cuddle and kiss,
When he spoke about 'this,'
Just guess what he meant by his 'that'.
--- Anon
Insteaad I refer to the mounds
Of snowy delight
Whose tips invite
That their beauty both stuns and astounds.
--- Hugh Clary
Has left your fair bosom well tanned,
And a copper-toned hue
Is revealed by the view,
I'm trying so hard to command.
--- Hugh Clary
As a maid in a Titian nude etching,
And even old Will
Let Romeo fill
Juliet by scene three in his sketching.
--- Hugh Clary
Impels me the moment to seize
And casually mention
We should pay more attention
To this and to that and to these.
--- Hugh Clary
Whose love life had started to fizz.
She yearned for a man,
Who would not hold her hand,
But would tickle her fancy with his!
--- Ann Gasser P8706
Got into a helluva hassle
With one of her knights
When he grabbed at her tights--
A pass, she declared, much too facile.
--- Norm Storer
Who professed to lack sexual feeling.
But a cynic named Boris
Just kissed her clitoris,
And she had to be scraped off the ceiling.
--- L1231
The lady proposed no objection,
So he laid on her lap
Their stipid road map,
And just turned at the next intersection.
--- Don Moore P9012
To bring out Tim's springtime emotion.
He drank from his cup,
Grabbed the waitress up,
And pledged her undying devotion.
--- Anon
And buff up the length of jim jammy.
I get hot at the thought
Of that velvety spot;
Goin' slam and bim-bam and ka-whammy.
--- Anon
Were following sweet little Heather.
They said to the girl,
"Come give us a whirl,
And we'll tickle your ass with a feather!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who liked to play games with the dames,
But the dames all despised
the games James devised,
And they ended up calling him names.
--- Layne
Said the guy to the chick who lay prone.
"Sure your dildo is bigger
But the way that I figger...
You can save that for sex on the phone!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
On her torso wore just a bandanna.
When she met some Fith Liners, (Upon meeting some satyrs)
--- G0502
Then I woke up today to the sight
Of you looking bereft;
But I fondled your cleft;
So my lover, you'll soon be alright.
--- PeterW
With erogenous zones in each cranny.
She found this was so,
With the help of her beau,
Who explored her from forehead to fanny.
--- Isaac Asimov
(A small blanket covered our tricks),
She let out a cry;
"We're coming! Oh my!"
'Twas she and the two actors pricks!
--- H Welchel
While we snuggle, unbutton my blouse,
And what's in your pants
Surely will dance,
As I rub you and get you aroused.
--- Arden
All sticky with butter and sweets.
Adding some spunk
Will mellow the funk
I smell, as I tickle your teats.
--- H Welchel
Is that your favorite porn queen?
Damned if that stud
Don't look like you, Bud,
As into the camera you lean.
--- Arden
It's thick as her wrist and quite long!
I remember those tones:
Her squeals and her moans.
Yes dear, 'tis I. You're not wrong!
--- H Welchel
Both movie and mammaries I'll watch.
Just coddle my wurst --
We'll see who comes first:
The screen actors, me, or your snotch.
--- H Welchel
He showed her what looked like a yam.
Then quickly said she,
"This came from the sea",
And she show him her bearded clam.
--- Al Willis
I picture a different motif.
I mean no dirision,
But I'd sooner envision
The paintings of Georgia O'Keefe.
--- Irish a
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