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Last night I prepared my erection
And laid it upon her midsection.
She fiddled a bit
And then put her clit
On my cock in an up-down direction.
--- Anon

I know I'm a gossip and traitor
To mention a spinster in Slater,
But a small glass of beer
And a tall mountaineer,
Will highly excite and elate her.
--- Lims Unlimited

There was a young lady named Kate,
Who necked in the dark with her date.
When asked how she fared,
She said she was scared,
But otherwise doing first-rate.
--- Anon

There was a young man from Mobile
Who went around a great deal.
He hadn't the pluck
For a good solid fuck,
But he used to be great on the feel.
--- G1622a

A flying instructor named Dwight
Took a babe on her very first flight.
He could tell, from her glance
At the bulge in his pants,
He'd be up in her cockpit tonight!
--- Lims For Year - 01

I love to make Catherine giggle;
Her braless young titties will juggle,
And then when my dick'll
Give Kit's clit a tickle,
The whole of her body wil wriggle.
--- Tiddy Ogg

There once was a man named Chuck,
Who with women, never had luck,
Until one fine day,
When a woman did say,
"Boy, I'd sure like a fuck!"
--- Anon

Let me tease you a bit with my nips,
Tantalizingly near to your lips.
Does the heat from my crotch
Raise your temp just a notch?
Do you like how I gyrate my hips?
--- Anon

"Oh Henry!" she said with a sigh,
As she fondled him, "Oh me oh my!
What a big one you've got;
Will it fit in my twat?"
"Well I hope not, my dear, that's my thigh."
--- Peter Wilkins

She fondled again, said "Oh no!
Is this wee one all you have to show?"
He said, "Sorry my dear,
But you're still nowhere near
My cock. Now you're feeling my toe!"
--- Jeanie

There once was a young girl from Norway,
Who hung by her feet in a doorway;
Which worked out quite well,
'Cause when you rang the bell,
It actually turned out to be foreplay.
--- Scott Straub

"My dear, you've been kissing young Fred,"
A much-worried mother once said.
"Since six; it's now ten;
Do it just once again,
And then think of going to bed."
--- Louis Untermeyer

Told the Doc that my girl thinks I'm gay;
I can't make her come night or day.
Should I lengthen my dick?
Will that make her come quick?
He said, "Nay lad, just lengthen foreplay!"
--- Peter Wilkins

There was a young lassie named Bea,
Who had this propensity,
When tickled, she'd giggle,
And her toes would wiggle,
And she'd say: "Don't do that to me!"
--- William K Alsop Jr

There was an old nudist named Ikey
Who had a disconcerted psyche.
He fell arse-to-face
On a Chinese named Grace,
Who chortled, "No movee, me likee."
--- G0859

Me, kinky? No dear, have no fear.
Just slip on these silk stockings, sheer,
And lace negligee,
And lastly, I pray,
Please put on these Mickey Mouse ears.
--- Anon

A left-wing young lady from Wick,
Was attacking a Montmartre flic.
When he smacked her behind,
She observed, "But how kind!
You're so Gallic and phallic and chic."

(flic - French fuzz)
--- Gerry Hamill

An unfortunate maiden named Esther,
A peculiar repugnance possessed her:
A reaction compulsive
Made fucking repulsive,
Which was rough on all those who caressed her.
--- G2366

A publisher went of to France,
In search of a tale of romance.
A Parisian lady
Told a story so shady,
That the publisher made an advance.
--- Anon (Hull)

There was a Young Lady of Poole,
Whose swain was exceedingly cool;
She brought him to a boil
By the aid of some oil
And a skillful massage on his tool.
--- Edwardian Leer 028

A gal who is drunk on hot wassail,
Will wiggle and jiggle and jostle
The bone of an old,
Old guy till, behold!,
It's hard as a petrified fossil.
--- SFA

Said a pretty young lady named Bess,
Who was asked and never said yes,
"Keep distance between us,
I'll not touch your penis,
But I play with myself, I confess."
--- Tom Patton P9708

There was a young woman from Ealing
Who wanted to do it with feeling.
But she didn't say
There'd be no foreplay;
Before I could stand, she was kneeling.
--- Frank Sfa

There once was a poet named Rob
Who found a girl that kissed on his knob.
After awhile it grew wider,
So he shoved it inside her,
And never went back to his job.
--- Anon

Observing the bulge in his khakis,
And being a bit of a cocktease,
She fondled his crotch,
While he stood and watched,
Till he blew a big wad in his jockeys!
--- Van

I see by the size of your member,
You're as hot as a blazing coal ember.
So slicken the mast,
And Hon, make it fast,
This girl's not been poked since December.
--- Diana Prince

A decayed, witty old frump of Thrace,
Substituted rubber in her personal place.
She developed the trick,
When you pulled out your prick,
Of snappping the guck in your face.
--- L1353

There was a young lady from Banker,
Who slept while the ship lay at anchor.
She awoke with dismay,
To hear the mate say,
Lets's hoist up the top-sheet and spanker.
--- Giles Brandreth P0503

This Betty is sure sounding slick,
To handle those things AND his dick.
It's Betty I'm praising;
My penis is raising,
With the thought of her stroking MY stick.
--- Anon

A loose-moraled filly from Stowe
Encouraged her diffident beau:
"I can tickle your dingus
And I love cunnilingus,
Plus all the perversions I know."
--- Armand E Singer 346

A sweet young thing, our Nurse Nancy,
Has often been known to get antsy.
Her patients are crude,
When they ask to get screwed,
But she's yours if you tickle her fancy.
--- Barrie Collins

Said rich Peking maiden, Lu Ming,
Who took a poor lad 'neath her wing:
"As proof that I like you
I'll write you a haiku
And tickle the end of your thing."
--- Armand E Singer 153

A lady engineer named Ms. Holt,
Had a foreman as spry as a colt.
When she asked for a screw,
What else did he do,
But offer two nuts and a bolt!
--- Anon

This is file ezm

We ladies ask for something else.
You know it: 'long foreplay' it spells.
Then plunge in the chasm,
And we'll have an orgasm,
No matter how big your dick swells.
--- Anon

Said Mabel, "I dance and I'll booze,
And shag just whoever I choose."
Well, after a day
Of wasted foreplay,
My pecker got only to ooze.
--- John Miller

Said Mabel, "It wasn't a waste;
Meats better when chef's choose to baste.
The sauce at its best
Lends a touch of the West,
Which leads to superior taste.
--- John Miller

The traffic cop was nice.
He smiled at her but thrice.
She circled the block
And lifted her frock,
And got arrested twice.

(He proposed and he then bought the rice.)
--- Al Willis P9711

Michelle in her polka-dot Rolls
Does tight figure-eights around Poles.
But two Aussies will do,
South Americans too;
She has no inflexible goals.
--- VOL 6

An entrancing yougn girl named McWhiston
Thought her bum an odd place to be kissed on.
So she turned on her back,
Showed her lover her crack,
And demanded: "Now work like a piston!"
--- G2415

Cried her partner, "My dear Lady Schmoosing,
While I'll own that stinkfinger's amusing,
Still, this constant delay
Tends to hold up the play,
And the goom on the deck's most confusing."

(goom - dialectical for gum)
--- L1347

A philanderer famed for his push
Was your Hindu gallant in the Kush,
Who of mammary glands,
Preferred two in the hands,
As a prelude to bird-in-the-bush.
--- Thomas A Quinine P8601

While soaking in bubbles and oils,
Sally relaxed from her toils.
Her mission was heeded
By her lover, who kneaded
Her muscles out from their coils.
--- Joseph Blaylock

If you ask me his future, I'd say
With women he'll go a long way.
He's a keen zest for living
A nature for giving,
And a talent for work and foreplay.
--- Lance Payne P8405a

There was an Old Man of Kamchatka,
Who possessed a remarkably fast car;
With VISA and wallet,
How he loves to ball it.
He picked up a sure thing in the last bar.
--- Edwardian Leer 105

You want a quick tickle and squeeze?
I'll start a bit up past your knees,
Ignoring the toes;
I know where it goes.
My motto is: "I aim to please."
--- Frank Fazed

Now I'll tell you what my attorney
Always does when he goes on a journey.
With a minx dressed in sable,
Hand under the table,
He rubs his knee up against her knee.
--- Lance Payne P8501

Her butt in the air looked so fair.
He wondered if he'd ever dare.
To approach her he must;
He was so full of lust,
And her fine derriere was so bare.
--- Charlotte

A once rampant legend of Rock
Discovered, much to his shock,
That his knack to pull birds
With a very few words,
Had taken a bit of a knock.
--- John Fernbank

I posted my girl a love letter.
I told her that I loved her better.
"Better than what?"
She asked quite a lot,
Till I said, "Dear, better than Greta."
--- Alan Chilver a

While smearing my partner with butter,
She started to groan and to mutter:
"Before you do ride me,
I need some inside me!"
So I greased up the shaft of my putter!
--- Artie Troll

Poor old John doesn't really do much;
Here and there, just a fugitive touch.
But his wife happened by,
When his palm stroked a thigh,
Now the fellow is really in dutch.
--- Isaac Asimov

At the deli, they told me "You're through!
You did what one never should do.
We found your cock jammed
In the pickle slicer. Damned!"
They fired the pickle slicer, too.
--- Theo Heller P9408

There once was a girl named Heather,
Who liked to dress up in leather.
She loved kinky shit,
So I tickled her clit
With a chainsaw and a peacock feather.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

In the north woods, a girl from St. Jacques,
Was willing to give it a crack.
But her boyfriend, young Fred,
Kept pushing ahead,
And circling to sneak up in back.
--- John Ciardi

Dr Spooner said, "Screwing's sublime
When a man takes the trouble to prime.
Extended-type foreplay
Prolonged until scoreplay,
Is a practice whose come, sir, has time!"
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

Diamonds, the best friends of girls,
Are not meant for bitches or churls.
'Twould be ill and quite feckless
To give them a necklace
Consisting of nothing but pearls.
--- Vinnie the Face T9710

A man with his pecker erected,
To fondle his dear wife elected.
With her clit he did play
But he found in dismay,
hat her pussy was not well connected.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0128

There once was an old man named Fletcher,
Well known as a terrible lecher.
A kiss he would steal,
And he'd cop a good feel,
From a woman, if he could just catch her.
--- Anon

These poets, with rhythm quite glorious,
Crank out limericks most meritorious.
With pentameter terse,
They make jism with verse,
And can make a girl fell fine and whore-ious.
--- Sylvia

Last night, a blind date phoned Amelia,
And said, "I will wear a camellia.
If you need something more,
You'll be satisfied for
I'm the one who will try to feel ya."
--- Isaac Asimov

There once was a young man from Dover
Who tripped over a four-leaf clover.
He landed on Mary,
The lass from the dairy,
And that's when Spring fever took over.
--- McCloo

Big Mama, tell me what you want;
A lick or a tickle, a taunt?
A deep slow massage,
Then back to my lodge
For a wonderful creme-filled croissant!
--- Coolbreeze

A hoodlum took out a tough bit,
And by her, surprisingly got hit.
He sneered, "What's the catch?
I just felt ya snatch."
"You jerk," she replied, "first the tit."
--- G2678

Whenever the chance of love beckons,
"I'd best do some foreplay", I reckons.
Try billing and cooing
And such tender wooing...
I once did that more than five seconds!
--- Anon

An entire five complete seconds?
Don't waste much time when your lust beckons!
That's one bill and coo
And half of a woo --
That's pretty darn shabby I reckons.
--- Anon

Bill maintains that he isn't inclined,
To value a girl for her mind.
But to help him get in,
He will do that and grin,
Though he'd rather admire her behind.
--- Isaac Asimov

How nice it feels, John, your finger's
Touching my mound, now it lingers
Close to my clit;
Playing with it,
Making it throb for your stinger.
--- Anon


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