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There once was a young man named Halls, Not searching for downed UFO's, (clinic bomber Rudolph hiding in mountains 1998)
Said a fooling young lady of Wales, A toilet-for-hire was unloaded; The Polish mailbomber's retired, Thanks to the effect, one assumes, A practical joker named Lars There once was a student named Bloom There once was a man from Nantucket Now Georgie once said, "When I die There was a young scholar from Rhodes A one-night-stand, but what a bash! A lady whose name was Louise There once was a young man named John A boy found some dynamite, To the jury he said his objective There was a young girl from Dundee There was a young woman named Meg A swollen-pants lecher from Bodenham, There was a young man of Malacca, There was an old man from Brazil An endowed birthday boy named Fred, There's less of that Nob Hill young lass, Jill did a thing truly heinous. There was a young fellow of Grasse A lunatic youth from Dungannon A terrorest Palestine ace Dinah's trained how to use dynamite, Nymphomaniacal Jill There once was a Polack named Ted, There was an old lady from Phlox, There once was a woman in China, A horny woman once did push In Hyde where the red roses bloom, A young celebate couple from Bowdoin, They tell of a lass named Regina I
There once was a girl with no class, Nymphomaniacal Jill Strangest chemistry I've ever seen There once was a prudish young lass, A neurotic young man from Tulane, A stalwart of Stalin named Adam There was an old man of Penang There was a young lad, Jimmy Lockett, There was a young fellow named Tom, There was a young man named Crockett, There was a young lady of Dexter, Did you hear about young Henry Lockett? There once was a whore on the dock The Freudian art of analysis A quirky old gent, name of Freud, I've just spent some twenty-nine quid Sigmund Freud says that one who reflects, The basis of human society, What his fetish was, young Mein Herr Zearing "If you dream", said the eminent Freud, The masses, declaimed Doctor Freud, Freud said, "Colleagues, these theories of mine When an obstinate fellow of Fife, The great psychoanalyst Freud At FIN DE SIECLE, Freud, taught he, A psychiatrist fellow, quite Jung, Re: Freud, here's the unvarnished poop: Just think, had Sigmund understood There was a young girl of East Anglia, The gunslinging coyboy on trips, Ve riled up the great Sigmund Freud.
Who made nitroglycerin balls.
As he walked toward the door,
He tripped on the floor.
He's now being scraped off the walls!
--- Georgie Tyrebiter
Nor hints of a Bigfoot (or toes),
In the trees and the vines a'
West North Carolina,
Feds are looking for Rudolph's red nose.
--- Knotweed
"A smell of gas prevails."
Then she searched with a light,
And later that night,
Was collected in seventeen pails.
--- Langford Reed
Above it, a fan, wires corroded.
The guest who fell through,
Splattered gaseous goo,
Then the shit hit the fan and exploded.
--- David A Brooks Q
But the rumor is that he was fired.
Seems the poor dope
Wrote on each envelope,
"SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED".
--- Writerman
Of the pressure of internal fumes,
The corpse of Lord Crate,
While lying in state,
Exploded and spattered three rooms.
--- Beelzebub TP9802
Liked to hand out exploding cigars.
One particular bloke,
The butt of his joke,
Has his sphincter in orbit 'round Mars.
--- Brian Fothergill
Who was very intent on his doom;
He swallowed a bomb,
With an eerie aplomb,
And exploded all over his room.
--- Cap'n Bean P0108
Whose heiny got stuck in a bucket.
To blast it apart,
He let out a fart;
But three people were too late to duck it!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
My ashes in Ireland shall lie."
"What, a Belfast cremation?"
Asked the major with vexation.
"The explosion will blow us sky-high!"
--- Q
Who prayed to learn all that was 'knowed'.
God granted his desire;
He became quite inspired;
His head did quickly explode!
--- James Satoshi
With musicians, of course, smoking hash;
But the Fire Marshal squawked,
Closed the hall while we gawked;
"All this methane is likely to flash!"
--- Anon
Declared she was bothered by fleas.
She used gasoline
And later was seen
Sailing over the hills and the trees.
--- Young Lady Alice P0105
Who found in his bedroom a bomb.
He looked at the time
Which was quarter past nine
And in two seconds flat he was gone.
--- David Ollard age 10
And the wick, he did indeed light,
Thinking it was a candle.
But 'twas too hot to handle;
The explosion was a wondrous sight.
--- Anon
Was to prove, without rant or invective,
That the dynamite phallus
Could not have killed Alice,
If the product had not been defective.
--- A N Wilkins P8507
Who exploded at twenty past three.
They found lots of bits,
Including both tits,
At the top of a thirty foot tree.
--- Anon
Who sat on a big powder keg.
But her rear was so hot
It ignited the lot.
Now Meg's whereabouts are quite vague.
--- Warrick Elrod P0208
(His balls bear a supersized load in 'em),
Is way oversexed
And worries that next
The contents will likely explode in 'em.
--- Armand E Singer 430A
Who always slept on his left knacker.
One Saturday night,
He slept on his right,
And his knacker went off like a cracker.
--- L1194
Who one day took the wrong pill.
His heart expired,
His ass back-fired,
And his balls were blown over the hill.
--- Bulldog TP9804
Just couldn't wait to be fed.
Such a blow did he make,
When he blew out the cake,
That his pecker exploded instead.
--- Mr Wine
Whose head landed near Manchac Pass.
Found come on her lips;
Her chin had fresh drips,
But Bama's where she dropped her ass.
--- Anon
She stuffed an H-bomb up her anus.
He clit reached the stars;
Her face attained Mars;
Her shit became part of Uranus.
--- H Welchel
Who constructed a condum of brass.
The first time he retired,
The damn thing backfired,
And blew off both balls and his ass.
--- G2037a
Was convinced his prick was a cannon;
But when it was loaded,
The damn thing exploded --
His balls were picked up near the Shannon.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was killed by a Jewess named Grace.
Her masterful plot
Was a bomb in her twat,
And she blew up her cunt in his face.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2848
Quite often she looks quite a sight.
In a helmet of steel,
She still has sex appeal.
If you want a good time, dinah might.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Used a dynamite stick for a thrill.
They found her labia
In Saudi Arabia,
And bits of her teats in Brazil.
--- Anon
Who took a young lass to his bed.
Instead of a prick,
A dynamite stick;
When she came, 'twas a blast, so it's said.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
Who set dynamite off in her box.
When asked the sensation,
She cried with elation,
"It's better than elephant cocks!"
--- Pete Baker
Stuck dynamite up her vagina.
She lit it on fire
In suicidal ire;
It blew her to South Carolina.
--- Anon
Some firecrackers up in her puss!
She was planning on havin'
An explosive orgasm,
But she burned off most of her bush!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
This is file drm
Jane used lighter fuel as perfume.
But frictional heat
From boyfriend Tom's meat,
Made them both disappear with a boom.
--- Anon
Groaned, "Our will to resist is erodin'.
We soon may be doin'
Some long-deferred screwin',
'Cause right now our hormones are explodin'."
--- Chris O'Carrol
Who put objects inside her vagina.
She kept packing her hole
Until it was full,
And BOOM! Her asshole's in China.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Gave simultaneous head, crotch, and ass.
When her three guys unload,
They'll watch her explode
And sing "Pumpin' that gash is a gas!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Used a dynamite stick for a thrill.
The cheeks of her ass
Landed up in Madras,
And the bits of her tits in Brazil.
--- G2147
Was what Richard and Liz had between.
It lasted for years;
Fraught with fights, booze and tears,
Sparked by their trinitrotoluene.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0205
Who was taught that she mustn't pass gas.
Her boy friend, one night,
Blew high as a kite,
When he mistook her cunt for her ass!
--- Anon
Caused his mother considerable pain.
He poured nitroglycerin
Where his dad put his pisser in,
And then threw her under a train.
--- L1549
Took a potshot at splitting the atom.
He blew off his penis,
And now, just between us,
He's know 'round the Kremlin as "Madam."
--- G1971
Whose ballocks went off with a bang.
His foreskin flew back
With a terrible 'snack'
And his asshole whistled and sang.
--- G2032
Who kept in his pocket a rocket,
Which started to bubble
And fizz at the double,
When Liz put her hand in his pocket.
--- Peter Wilkins
Who ran screaming home to his mom.
The fear of the Bomb
Scared him back to the womb--
The bastard, he wasn't so dumb!
--- L1226
Whose balls got caught in a socket.
His wife was a bitch,
So she turned the switch,
And Crockett went off like a rocket.
--- Anon
Whose husband exceedingly vexed her.
For whenever they'd start,
He'd unfailingly fart,
With a blast that damn nearly unsexed her.
--- L0693
He was blown down the street by a rocket.
The force of the blast,
Blew his balls up his ass,
And his pecker was found in his pocket.
--- L1191
From dusk until dawn she sucked cock,
Till one day it was said,
She gave so much head,
She exploded and whitewashed the block.
--- Anon
Would fall into total paralysis,
If men could abjure
Coition's allure,
And all that's related to phalluses.
--- Norm Storer P9201
Was, not without reason, annoyed
That his concept of Id,
And all that Id did,
Was so starkly and loosely employed.
--- Martin Fagg P0001
To banish my ego and id.
"Away with young Tom
And that Shaft", with aplomb
Said my doctor, Freud Sigmund, he did.
--- Anon
Sees that sex has far-reaching effects.
For bottled-up urges
Come out in great surges
In directions that no-one expects.
--- Peter Alexander
Says Freud, is castration anxiety.
It makes us create
The political state,
Religion, and art, and podiatry.
--- Norm Storer P9201
Would never reveal in the hearing
Of the great Sigmund Freud,
Who was greatly annoyed,
But he never learned it was an earring.
--- A N Wilkins P8708
"Your Id is in doubt, or annoyed,
By nueroses complex
From suppression of sex,
So passions are best enjoyed."
--- Russell Miller
Are seldom so peacefully employed,
As in the position
Described as coition,
So it's nice that it's widely enjoyed.
--- Anon
I espouse from small reason or rhyme.
One thing in our favor,
We cherish and savor.
We're expensive and money is time."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh
Insisted on loving his wife,
Denying obsessions,
And dreams and repressions,
The Freudians feared for his life.
--- Allen M Laing
Revealed his own sex life was void.
A girl from Montego
Then altered his ego.
Fellatio was all she employed.
--- David Miller P8208
That those proper folks, prim and haughty,
With habits severe,
Lived, under veneer,
In hot private lives that were naughty.
--- Chris Papa
Asked his wife, "May I bugger your bung?"
And he was so much annoyed
When he found her a-Freud,
He went out in the yard and ate dung.
--- L0478
He flew planes and invented the loop.
Though he sailed quite a lot,
He'd no skill tying knots,
And his craft was a Freudian Sloop.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0201
Exhibitionists, why then it could
Have caused him to give rise
To a business which thrives
And call it, "Freudricks of Hollywood."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh
Whose loins were a tangle of ganglia.
Her mind was a webbing,
Of Freud and Kraft-Ebbing,
And all sorts of other new-fanglia.
--- Aldous Huxley L1414A
Through frigidity, his pistol grips.
Making such puns
On the cold and guns,
On the ice the poor Freudian slips.
--- Anon
That vizard was really annoyed.
Ve called him a quack,
And he had to fight back.
From his lips came a bold, nasty void.
--- Al Willis TP9802
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