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The wife of a jogger named Rinde There was a great sprinter named Hall The women's track team of East Fluntz Swiss and a Czech raced on a trail, A young athlete who ran very fast, Those female track stars are world-class; The number of miles he would run Here's advice from a track coach named Wertz: The Olympics were your private Flo-show; Flo-Jo was a woman of speed; The woman is not even cold Farewell to the colorful Florence, While traveling by train up to London, Two floozies who ran on Manhattan's I'm not sure I'm terribly cunning, For thoroughness I am well known; The boffins have proved it's the case The hurdlers picked up the pace Among all those hurdling achievers There was a young woman named Grace, A clever longjumper named Pete Marathon, running for powers. Once a marathon runner named Hart Knocked down halfway through the match, I was running a marathon race, Well, if by her tits you were hit, A woman who wasn't too stunning There was a young man named Monteith, There was a young athlete called Clayton, The oldtimers line up for the run; I'd pole vault around on the floor; In his world-record bid, Ally failed, A sporting young athlete from Fleet A tired out runner named Glover After Tom had his steroid injection, After three had departed the ranks, A big-bosomed lady named Whipple She challenged a sprinter named Jacques; There was an American sprinter, (failed the dope test - McW)
A long jumper from Lichtenstein, An expert at sprinting, Miss Kitt, If you're up at the breaking of dawn Their motel room, said gays Reese and Bates, A ballplayer played in Bavaria; A lady could not apprehend Bedroom golf can be fun, without doubt, Said healthy but lecherous Paul, This Olympic spectator applauds A cold-natured Scot, MacIntosh, Some couples next year will be sent A 10 minute warm-up's allowed A whistle (insertion of dongs The minimum speed must exceed The winners are deemed to be those We're looking for couples unique The big blonde, doing laps, swims on by, There once was a nice man named Wumpus, "The best part is right in the middle" There once was a gambler of taste Said the coach to his weightlifter, Burke, Marathon Sucking would attract a large throng, Sex on the rocks is our calling, The Greeks best Olympic event What is this thing with men and sports? Young couples who live out in Drain (OR) Bedroom golf, the way H Myers taught it:
Suggested an act most maligned.
"I'll back up to your dong
And you'll find before long,
That you've managed to come from behind.
--- Jersey City
Who found stopping the hardest of all.
One terrible day,
He was carried away
In a barrow with bits of brick wall.
--- David A Brooks
Invited a pigmy tribe, once,
To a race of one mile
Which the tribe won in style,
Being famed for their fleet, cunning runts.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9410
With one garbed as a knight, one a snail.
When I asked my friend Hugh
How to tell who was who,
He said, "Easy -- the Czech's in the mail."
--- J Maynard Kaplan
Yelled obscenities at those he passed,
He failed a dope test;
He's side-lined for a rest;
His ego now flies at half-mast!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
I love to watch all of them pass.
In uniforms, skimpy,
They prove they're not wimpy,
And give a great view of fine ass.
--- Travis Brasell
Last year was a mere fifty-one.
But now, fifty-two?
That much harder to do?
Old age does not make it more fun.
--- Anon
"Making love's like the mile," he asserts.
"During most of the race,
One may vary the pace;
At the finish, however, one spurts!"
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
The swift next to you, ran slo-mo...
The fastest indeed,
But alas for that speed,
Toward the Last Finish, dear Flo-Jo...
--- Tutta Gioia
It was great to watch her proceed.
But I bet she employed
Some kind of steroid,
And that was a naughty misdeed.
--- Bobbob
'Fore unfounded rumors are told.
Flo-Jo was the best,
Passed every drug test;
A fleet-footed winner of gold.
--- Frank
Whose speed was unleashed in such torrents.
Whom the Gods love, die young;
Now their ranks she's among
With Di, and Arabia's Lawrence.
--- Prof M-G
A quiet young man's bag was undone.
Some pants were misplaced,
And he searched with due haste.
He ended up winning a fun run.
--- Anon
Mixed relay team grasped the wrong batons.
When they reached back and grabbed
The male members they nabbed,
Rose at once to this challenge from slatterns.
--- David A Brooks
But what I have found seems quite stunning;
I've tried, and must say
By the end of the day,
I've discovered I cannot stand running.
--- Carl Ludvig Kjelsen P0609
I have tested it all on my own.
The same thing applies,
And it was a surprise;
I can't even stand sitting down.
--- Carl Ludvig Kjelsen P0609
That young lady sprinters gain pace,
If they've had a gunning
Before they start running,
Compared with sex during the race.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And then one crashed out of the race.
The crowd rose as one
Then saw what he'd done:
His kneecap stuck out of his face!
--- aNON
The greatest of all is Gail Deavers;
Yes, she is the one,
With Gold Medals won,
Who helped us to see hurdling beavers.
--- Anon
Who ran hard in a marathon race.
As she ran through the trees,
Her pants slid to her knees,
But her buns earned an easy first place!
--- Anon
Eats beans before every big meet.
On completing his jump,
A huge fart from his rump
Will drive him an extra three feet.
--- Michael Weinstein P8306
I finish. The people throw flowers.
I'm feeling sublime;
Then I see my time.
The Kenyan has beat me by hours.
--- Anon
Ate a big can of beans at the start,
And for many a mile,
Kept the most relaxed style,
Being powered along by a fart!
--- Prof M-G T9712
Running after one you can't catch,
Got tits in the face.
It could have been lace,
If your face had wound up in her snatch.
--- PeterW
Keeping pace with a woman called Grace,
When half way around,
I was knocked to the ground,
As her tits hit me square in the face.
--- Peter Wilkins
You can't be considered as fit.
With your face in her chest,
Good posture's a test;
You probably can't run for shit!
--- Frank Fazed
Competed in marathon running.
She really enjoys
Being chased by the boys.
Is she sporting or really quite cunning.
--- Anon
Who jogged every day on the heath.
He was mugged, and what's more,
He was slugged on the jaw;
At 18 he now has real false teeth!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Who found he could't stop putting weight on.
His top speed on the track,
Mph it did lack;
His future he'll now speculate on.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
A 20 mile fundraiser, for fun.
They're all on their toes;
The high tension shows;
Ten collapse at the sound of the gun!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
The crowd would be calling for more.
My strong penile twitches
Would moisten their britches,
And cause them to come with a roar!
--- Anon
Despite the great height that he sailed.
For the pole-vaulting rules
Are enforced by damn fools,
Who disqualify those who're impaled.
--- David A Brooks
Was a sprinter whom no one could beat.
So he hit on a stunt
To run back to front --
And he won by a very short seat.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
This is file csl
Lay down by the track to recover.
A girl from the stands
Came and played with his glands,
And soon he was running all over.
--- Allan R Ottley P8306
He thought he could avoid a detection.
Though he ran a good race,
He was soon in disgrace
When his urine had failed the inspection.
--- Edwin J Weinstein
Bullet Bob quickly paid up with thanks.
To the starter he said,
"Well, the fastest are dead.
Perhaps you should switch back to blanks."
--- David A Brooks
At Olympic events cause a ripple.
She took on all competers
In the one hundred meters,
And she beat the young lads by a nipple.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-3022
To distract him she raised up her smock.
But he moved out in front
When he glanced at her cunt,
And he won by the knob of his cock.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-3024
Who trained for his races all winter.
He was fearless and fast
But the sample he passed
Dissolved the glass flask he passed inter.
--- John Dole P9705
Got drunk in a bar, and cried "Nein,
I've run and I've jumped,
But I've never been humped,"
(Ten spectator girls formed a line!)
--- Anon
Would challenge all men fast and fit.
In a closely matched race,
One young lad set the pace,
But she beat the young lad by a tit.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2643
And all notions of sleep have just gone,
Go out for a short jog,
In rain, sunshine or fog.
You will soon regret you were bawn.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Was magnificent, well worth top rates;
They had breakfast in bed
And the bagels, they said,
Made simply marvelous quoits.
--- Ann Gasser P8909
Her games under weeping wisteria.
In the soft-scented shade
Of her terrace she played
With the balls of the men in her area.
--- David A Brooks
Most sports where two people contend.
She was much better at
The game with the bat,
Which dangles two balls at the end.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0386
But the first rule you must know all about.
The game's main goal
Is to put club in the hole,
Whilst ensuring the balls are kept out!
--- H Myers
"When running, you feel ten feet tall.
And dancing firms muscles
For various tussles,
But screwing's the best sport of all."
--- Armand E Singer 343
U.S. broadjumping champion, Bill Bauds.
The event's quite demanding,
But his record's still standing;
He jumped over two thousand broads!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Said, "Sex is a whole lot of bosh;
It is more fun to play
Whether nighttime or day,
A good game of golf, chess, or squash.
--- Armand E Singer 176
To a brand new Olympic event.
It's called, "Fucking the brains
Out". They line up in lanes
And they screw 'til they're utterly spent.
--- Anon
(Undertaken in front of the crowd)
To ensure that the "twat"
Becomes moistily hot
And the "dong" stands up rigid and proud.
--- Anon
Into twats) then a couple of Bongs
On a gong (that means brace
Yourselves); "Bang!" starts the race;
Then the teams go like hammer and tongs.
--- Anon
One insertion a second. Indeed
It's disqualification
For deceleration,
Or premature spilling of seed.
--- Anon
Who come last in the race. We propose
To award a gold "dong"
(Not the usual gong)
To the winners ('less dead, we suppose).
--- Anon
Who are willing to enter. We seek
Guys and gals, young and old,
To auditions we'll hold
Starting Thursday or Friday this week.
--- Anon
Lifeguard, "Muscles," he catches her eye;
Now, on his "breaks," we gather;
They screw to a lather;
Gym club romance is hard to deny:
--- Al Kraht
A harmless old codger, a grumpus.
That was our belief,
But old Wump was a thief,
When we turned our backs, he would jump us.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Explained Jack about the game to Miss Biddle.
"If the dice, when you throw,
Score six or below,
I then wink, and put this in your tiddle!"
--- H Myers TP9806
Who laid a young girl who was chaste.
Since she should not conceive,
He came in his sleeve,
And knocked up two queens and an ace.
--- Barbara Tabler P9110a
"On the hop skip and jump you can work."
To his coach, Burke confessed
He was deeply distressed --
He was better at lick snatch and jerk.
--- Albin Chaplin P9104
But one problem means the event won't go on.
You may search there and here,
But I really do fear
You won't find a dick twenty-six miles long!
--- Tim
So we climbed up to do some balling.
We slipped on a stick,
And tied on with my dick.
It was the way to keep us from falling.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
In rustic dark forests is spent.
The season is best
In fall, they attest,
While the Bohunks for mushrooms are bent.
--- Dick Buenger P8407
And butt-slapping their team cohorts?
If they'd let me play --
I'd pat 'em all day
And pinch the ones in the short shorts!
--- Anon
Are driven quite mad by the rain.
With sexual perversion
The only diversion,
Sanity's hard to maintain.
--- Larry Davis P8805a
Club in; balls out; OK, got it.
So last night in the sack
I gave it a whack.
If par is my "wad", they I shot it!
--- Crazy Legs
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