MORE
In last week's go course, Ms Guo Jan Speaking of which, I submit After analyzing the endgame component, A book-learned high kyu from Kent, I went to a toy-selling store As much as I like to play Go, When playing among many flies, A 3k player from Toulouse, A brilliant nidan from Seattle, There was a young lady name Lou And adding an extra dimension Another girl player named Heather On the table, he's an expert at pool; A young snooker player named Jones, My grandmother frequently falls A chemist I knew, Molly Cule, There's a certain club known as The Players, There is a young stud in the Falls While I know it seems rather crude, One question I've puzzled for days; It may well be grown just like cress, The subject of cloning appalls And while I don't play this fun game, A snooker player mishandled his cue; I hear billiards is played by some dolls; When challenged to snooker these days, In snooker halls this side of town, With Lady Debrett I went down A cute snooker hooker named Sue There was a young laddie from Goole, At Manchester's top billiard spots, "Saw you players at Wimbledon Court?" Off to Wimbledon flew old Al Dennison. An oversexed tennist named Hatch When Bobby played tennis with King, Two young people, expert at sports, While serving to Billie Jean King, The tennis instructor, John Hackett, I once knew a young man named Dennis; A barrister pleading a tort, There was a young fellow named Dennis, I'm your fairy Godfather, Coach Dennis, Which gives such a top spin return. "We'll start out on court number nine; A zealous young woman from Ennis, "Tennis? No, not in this dress. There was a young athlete named Case; My equipment, I thought I'd unpack it, The girls tennis team has new coaches At tennis she had a bad patch. I'm off to the old tennis courts, There once was a fellow named Dennis A good tennis serve is an ace, Maria Sharapova's grunts, Said Kate, "They're just overpaid runts, There was a young lady of Venice The magician did tricks so mysterious Complained an old spinster named Bubbles, My cousin, Rollo, had the nerve, When Harry once won a long set, There was a young man from Venice, Maria Sharapova's grunts, Said Kate, "They're just over-paid runts; I favor young Martina Hingis Been watching the Aus Open Tennis, (Professional tennis players)
She runs and she jumps on her toes,
Patchi'd a magnetic goban!
She showed the kiai
Of Akira and Sai.
As you guessed, I'm a Hikaru fan.
--- Arno and Morten
To her Go skills, humor and wit.
"Interesting move!"
Precluded the proof.
My idea was a total misfit.
--- Arno and Morten
Young Michael stopped for a moment,
Then threw 'gainst the wall,
Goban stones and all --
Before uppercutting his opponent!
--- Arno and Morten
In late chuban had cause to lament.
"I opened on tengen,
Just like Go Seigen,
But don't know where my influence went!"
--- Arno and Morten
To ask for the game we adore.
A Go-set I craved
But left quite amazed --
It doesn't exist anymore!
--- Arno and Morten
Some joseki I just do not know.
If I play a kakari
To prevent a shimari,
A pincer will cause me much woe.
--- Arno and Morten
"How very annoying," he cries.
Until with a frown,
Looking where one sat down,
He discovers, "That group of stones dies!"
--- Arno and Morten
Had a bad tendency to snooze.
So while he had snored,
This opponent won the board.
He thought he'd not deserve to lose.
--- Arno and Morten
Annoyingly stones liked to rattle.
Until a 1-kyu
With a handful of glue
Brought tranquility back to the battle.
--- Arno and Morten
Used a dildo instead of a cue.
And the video link
When she potted the pink,
Was made into a movie that's blue.
--- Donald McGill
At the latest world snooker convention,
Foregoing the rest,
Her game-play was best
When employing the largest extension.
--- Donald McGill
Used rest and extension together.
She sat on a cushion
While playing a push in
And fouled up the base with her nether.
--- Donald McGill
His dad taught him. He is no fool.
He's won prize after prize,
The players eulogise.
We don't know just how he's so cool!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Cleared the table. His cue's made of bones.
He pots reds, black and pink;
He does not even think.
His opponents cannot hide their groans.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
For young men in billiard halls.
She loves their deep screws
And the length of their cues
And the regular kissing of balls.
--- Michael Horgan
Taught atomic collisions in school,
Bouncing hard colored balls
Off rectangular walls...
Now she's tripled her pay, playing pool!
--- Prof M-G
Frequented by guys who ain't prayers,
Excepting at pool,
Where they pray as a rule
That their conquerors fall down the stayers.
--- Don Maquis & Adams P9506
Whose attitude simply appalls.
He continues to vex
The opposite sex
Saying, "Pool can't be played without balls."
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
I like to play pool in the nude.
While making a shot
I never get hot,
But rack the wrong balls and you're screwed.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
Just where do they get the green baize
To cover the table,
Where young men are able
To misspend their lives' youthful phase?
--- Tiddy Ogg
And billiard parlors may be blessed
With wee elfin sowers
And reaper and mowers,
Who keep its condition the best.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Wise sages in most billiard halls;
So, while this debate
Continues, I'll wait
Right here and keep racking my balls.
--- Travis Brasell
I used to with brothers who flame.
Cue sticks I did whack
On my brother's back;
To me, hitting balls was too tame.
--- Bridget
Said he felt he was now in a stew.
He had ripped through the cloth;
The owner waxeth wroth.
The player donned his coat, and he flew!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
But snooker's not chosen in halls
Where girls come to play.
And the reason they say
Is that girls like the heavier balls.
--- Hugh Clary
I say, "Sorry, I no longer play."
For the pockets are all
Far too small for a ball,
And my cue tends to rip up the blaze.
--- Peter Wilkins
I've heard that there's many a clown,
Who often will think
About kissing the pink,
And then going off in the brown.
--- Tiddy Ogg
To the snooker hall back side of town.
She took off her mink
Then I kissed the pink,
But mis-cued, went in off the brown.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who'd had, as they say, quite a few,
One night in the sack,
She screwed an All-black,
And now she must re-chalk her cue.
--- oOOo
Who was not very good with a tool.
But with a snooker cue,
And an odd beer or two,
He'd take on all -- snooker or pool!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Jim Boyle plays some fancy trick shots.
But when people gaze,
It's rubbish he plays...
A watched Boyle, they say, never pots.
--- Tiddy Ogg
"No, though all is at love, and time's short!"
"You mean, soon they will score?"
"No, Advantage downpour,
Rain, not love, conquers all in this sport!"
--- Prof M-G TP9806
"How come?" to Al's sister said Glen, a son.
She said, "Uncle Al
Used to play with a pal --
And I've often heard Alfred laud tennis, son!"
--- Martin B Smith P8309
This is file col
Would kill just to fill up a snatch;
He entangled a deb
In his amorous web
And took her for game, set, and match.
--- Armand E Singer 518
His racket he rammed up her thing.
But the smash that she threw
Turned Bobby's balls blue,
And his prick he now wears in a sling.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1800
Played a love game at tennis resorts,
But when they were wed
They quarreled instead,
And soon they were back in the courts.
--- Laurence Perrine P83
I suddenly heard a loud ping.
To the roars of applause,
She slipped on some new drawers,
Which an umpire'd remembered to bring.
--- Bill Wall
Lofts a ball for the co-ed to whack it.
But his teaching is best
With his arms 'round her chest;
Coach Hackett has a fantastic racket.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0206
With the girls he was always a menace.
He often got caught
At his favourite sport,
And I know that you know it's not tennis!
--- Anon
Found the beautiful judge quite a sport.
She was hitched to no man,
And a great tennis fan,
So he courted the court on the court.
--- C J Scheiner P8405
Who played a mean game of tennis;
He'd dash and he'd slash,
Sometimes he'd hit trash;
They all called him Dennis the Menace.
--- Bob Phillips
That's cloud-9's male answer to tennis.
I'll game, set and match
Two balls for your snatch;
For my racquet I will use my penis.
--- Anon
Once serviced you will always yearn
For it's fiery pace
And as for my ace,
White hot. Lessons free. Wanna learn?
--- Anon
Let's lift up your arm there, just fine.
Now lean towards me,
That's good, I can see
Your breasts, they are simply devine.
--- Anon
Was strangely addicted to tennis.
One sweltering day
She faded away,
And a trembling cleric said "Finis".
--- Anon
I know that I try to impress --
But with skirts and long sleeves,
It is hard to believe
That I won't fall down on my ass!
--- Whyte9ght T9707
His fans all thought him an ace.
Because he ruled the court,
He was king of the sport,
Until he fell flat on his face.
--- William K Alsop Jr
And show Jane the length of my racket.
She said "Fifteen, love, (centimeters)
Ain't nearly enough,
To win at this game, so go whack it.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who teach all the new net approaches;
And when they're not teaching
The coaches are preaching:
"You girls keep your cunts free of roaches!"
--- Anon
Her doctor said that she'd soon hatch.
Her game, not so great,
Plus all that extra weight,
He said it was game, layette and scratch!!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
For what is the greatest of sports.
I'll feel really grand
Until I get banned,
For watching girls play in short shorts.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who liked to play tennis in Venice.
The Chief of Police,
"Desist, Sir, and Cease!
Your net is a goldola menace."
--- Irving Superior P8306
As it lands in the court at a pace.
Backhand or forehand,
It may need some more hand,
So your shot will not end in disgrace.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Are opponent unsettling stunts;
But she's not alone;
Most all grunt and groan
From tennis balls lost up their cunts.
--- David Miller
I'm sick of those girl-players grunts!
When I bowled as a lass,
We'd show crowd our class,
And suck bowling balls up our cunts."
--- David Miller
Who used hard-boiled eggs to play tennis.
When they said, "It is wrong,"
She replied: "Go along;
You don't know how prolific my hen is."
--- Explosion of Lims P0608
That he drove all his audience delirious.
But when asked by friend Dennis
To make England win tennis
He said, "Really, you cannot be serious."
--- Funfax Limericks
"It's sex that is causing me troubles;
People need to agree
To derive joie de vie
From games such as tennis court doubles.
--- Armand E Singer 893
To get the ball in on the first serve.
When his opponent called it: "Out!"
Rollo gave a mighty shout:
"It was in! I saw it curve!"
--- William K Alsop Jr
He tried to jump over the net.
But he flew far too low
And landed on Flo,
And he hasn't got off of her yet!
--- Miss Pattibar P8306a
Who played a good game of lawn tennis.
But the game he liked best,
Far more that the rest,
Was played with two balls and a penis.
--- L1554
Are opponent unsettlin' stunts;
But she's not alone;
Most all grunt 'n' moan;
For tennis-balls lost up their cunts.
--- Anon
I'm sick of these girl-players' grunts!
When I bowled as a lass,
We'd show them our class,
And suck bowling balls up our cunts."
--- Anon
And exercise all of my fingers.
She stretches to serve;
I find I must perve
And constantly play with my dingus.
--- David Miller
(I laugh at the hair worn by Venus).
It's deuce to a dove;
I'm fully in love
With the swiss girl, Martina Hingis!
--- Archie
And stretches right up -- (there it goes).
Her black and white dress
Is feeling the stress --
And her neat little knickers she shows!
--- Archie
MORE