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Some girl football players from Wald There was an old woman of Kent The SuperBowl might be a bore, If you had stopped by for a fuck, I'll come by this Sunday instead, Said a sophomoric cheerleader, Kate, A cheerleader named Betty-Jean Clarke While streaking through Buckingham Palace, (She's out playing South Fork in Dallas. TV soap)
Bruce Daniel was a man amoung men, A tight end who played Notre Dame There once was a team, FSU, (Florida State University) A young football hero named Roach A Heisman contender named Warrick A famous football player named Jed An elderly coach from Penn State There once was a man named Paul, (Paul Tagliabue, Commissioner of Football)
The coach said, "Our kicker's the wrong one, My pro football career cannot be. It was cold at the pro football game. "Oh really," she said with a grin, So they snuggled and watched the teams play, "You are not a model, contraire, "I am not a model, 'tis true, There is a young fullback named Pete; "He used blackmail!" wailed poor little Eva To a grid team psyched up in a fever, The reason both football teams huddle There's an N.F.L. groupie who's cracking, A pass-throwing wizard named Reese, Into the Middle School's parking lot Something that I find profound, A brash Rose Bowl hero named Vince I've got to follow my block -- A certain young woman named Mame I wish that I had a nickel The offensive coach moved to ascend We tore up the town in St Lou, Now please, don't lie, you remember But it did not take place down at Cheetah's, And then as my pole, stiff as starch, So that's why my back is all jammed, Your skin is such tan shades of BROWN I RAMmed you with my GIANT JET ...Hole with my pole hard like STEEL; Like a COWBOY, I mounted to ride you, Like an EAGLE we soared to such height, As each inch of BEAR form, I explored, The walls shook and shimmered that night, Like a SAINT you sang out with your praise When we left the room, paying our BILLS, A rabbinical freshman named laif, (traif - non kosher like a pigskin)
A tight-end receiver from Hays The football team faggot's named Friend; I've been watching football tight ends; A young football player named Shust There once was a girl named Corinne, There once was this couple named Lee, A Notre Dame player named Weaver, There once was a man named Al, (Nor Cal - northern California)
There once was a man named Modell, The Cowboys team statistician (Dallas Cowboys of NFL in 1996 were a bunch of thugs - McW)
All the guys make Hegira to Dallas A quarterback named Dan Marino, Denver lost the big game to Baltimore I'm afraid that you fans of the horse, (1998 Superbowl - Denver Broncos vs Green Bay Packers)
Said the captain of the Green Bay Packers:
By a whistle were greatly appalled:
"Was someone offside?"
"Oh no," Ref replied,
"It was backfield-in-motion I called!"
--- Norm Storer
Who went to the football event.
He sat near the goal,
And opened her hole,
And guess where the football went?
--- J D
I don't care who wins anymore.
But my heart will soar,
If I see a score,
That ends in some kind of a four.
--- Anon
Maybe it would have changed my luck,
That game was a bore,
And I didn't score,
Now I'm out a double saw-buck.
--- Anon
And give you that fuck in your bed.
A real free-for-all --
Our own Super Ball,
And maybe you'll earn back that bread...
--- Anon
"I can please all the jocks at Kent State.
Running backs, right away;
Linemen, later today;
But the coaches will just have to wait!"
--- William N Nesbit P9610 a
Drank some luminous paint for a lark.
By December the cocks
Of half of the jocks
On the football team glowed in the dark.
--- Michael Weinstein P8311A
Prince Charles, with an absence of malice,
Enquired in a rant,
"Have you seen my fat aunt?"
"Yes. She's out playing fullback in Dallas."
--- Bill Wall
And for football he had a great yen.
He became so adroit,
He was tapped by Detroit,
And was cast into the Lion's den.
--- Anon
Fell down in the end zone with shame.
But a fast bullet pass
Lodged right up his ass,
And that's how he won the big game.
--- David Miller
Whose defense gave UF fifty-two. (University of Florida)
For despite pre-game image
About line of scrimmage,
'Twas easy enough to get through.
--- Mesterton-Gibbons MG9701
To girls taught the football approach.
One did fumble his ball
'Twixt the bed and the wall.
He then called for some help from his coach.
--- Albin Chaplin P8306
Had football fans less than euphoric:
For armloads of rainments,
He left just down payments...
The rest, as they say, is historic.
--- Prof M-G
Played his last game and injured his head.
After years at a college,
He had a B.A. for knowledge;
"The best pass I've made'",s what he said.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Has been heard to say, "Isn't it great?
This year's winning approach
Will ensure that I coach
Until I'm one hundred and eight."
--- Anon
Who thought he was standing tall.
He said, "Teams must stay put."
But could not set down his foot,
And so he's a puppet after all.
--- Anon
Linda Lovelace might just be a strong one.
Though it's certainly true,
That she's blown quite a few,
She has never yet choked on a long one."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9511a
I was forever twisting my knee;
Our coach said, "My son,
Your nick-name's 'Tampon'...
In one week, then out for three.
--- David Miller
She said, "Hi there, what is your name?"
He replied "Samuel Cohen,
I've this cold never been;
I'm a lawyer of some local fame."
--- KJ
"I'm a model, and my name is Lynn.
Perhaps we could share
That blanket right there,
To keep us from feeling that wind."
--- KJ
While their hands 'neath the blanket did stray.
When the game was completed,
The home team defeated,
He turned and he started to say:
--- KJ
For a model will shave all her hair,
From her feet to her chin;
Is your name really Lynn?
It's OK, for I really don't care."
--- KJ
But I know something about you.
For under the blanket,
When I tried to wank it,
I discovered that you're not a Jew!"
--- KJ
Though not a dynamic athlete,
He has the esteem
Of all of the team.
He may not be strong, but he's sweet.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
Citing Quarterback Clyde (the deceiver!)
My attempts to defend
Should have gained her Tight End,
But she left and became Wide Receiver.
--- Anon
Came a co-ed as pre-game reliever.
They rushed her headlong,
That lecherous throng,
And made her the best wide receiver.
--- Alan Ottley
Is "holding" can cause kidney trouble.
So each has his turn;
In Basics they learn
To sidestep the other team's puddle.
--- Irving Superior
"I provide what at home may be lacking:
Since I lure them to bed
With the promise of head,
I'm an expert in quarterback sacking."
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Prays nightly for marital peace.
There are stadium cheers,
And bedchamber tears,
Both result from his famed quick release.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
A Corvette whipped right into its spot.
Driven by Brian Grimes
(Red Shirted five times),
Who's just great in his running-back spot.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0301
With this thing you Yanks call "touchdown";
As part of the game,
Its a misleading name!
The ball never touches the ground!
--- Big Mick
Left the Trojans with ankles in splints.
He cried, "Hear this thing:
It is I who am King
And Leinart is but a mere prince!"
--- Anon
That linebacker just cleaned my clock!
I'll run it again;
This time with a spin,
And juke him right out of his jock.
--- John Goshorn T9711
This is file cal
Longs to play in a tough football game,
You would think it can't be
Since she's female, you see,
Yet she's making the team, just the same.
--- Isaac Asimov P9606a
For every time someone gets tickled
At the really queer
Names that they hear,
Like Dick Butkus and Dick Trickle.
--- Loretta F TP9802
The showering tailback's rear end;
Broke through his defense
And in consequence,
The tailback is now a split end.
--- Allan R Ottley P8306a
Where I made my acting debut.
From Hard Rock to Hooters,
We drank many shooters,
But the lap dance at Cheetah's not true.
--- Carol
The night we spent in September;
That lap dance took place
With your cunt on my face,
As you sucked on my hard horny member.
--- Jon Gearhart
But after sixteen margaritas,
We went to my room;
Passion's fire did consume
Us both; we became hungry eetah's.
--- Jon Gearhart
Had both our hormones on full march,
You hopped up on top
And screamed, "Jon, don't stop!"
As your back formed the St Louis Arch.
--- Jon Gearhart
And my body feels like it was slammed.
I'm achy and sore,
But happy for sure,
'Cause I was just St Louis RAMmed.
--- Carol
From your toes to your nose to your mound.
I pictured you shaven
And got a big craven;
Started RAVEN, "Oh God! Turn around!"
--- Jon Gearhart
And you screamed, like a true PATRIOT.
"Oh say can you see
What is deep inside me!"
"Yes I am," as I CHARGEd up your wet...
--- Jon Gearhart
Like a DOLPHIN, you started to squeal.
As I RAIDed your booty,
Like a BUCCANEER, cutie,
I said, "You're a TITAN, I feel!"
--- Jon Gearhart
And bucked like a BRONCO inside you.
I hope that my VIKING
Is fit for your liking --
Let me LION you now and divide you.
--- Jon Gearhart
That the FALCONS were beneath our sight.
"Now my sweet, I'll SEAHAWK;
Come get on my sweet cock
And ride me with all of your might!"
--- Jon Gearhart
My face, CARDINAL red as I bored,
I purred like a PANTHER
When I first depantsed her,
But now like a BENGAL she roared!
--- Jon Gearhart
(My REDSKIN from the heat, usually white.)
She said "You're the CHIEF;
Stole my heart like a thief."
(I attack her and PACKER real tight!)
--- Jon Gearhart
As we tried 49ER fifty ways
To satiate lust,
As I parried and thrust,
My love deep inside you for days.
--- Jon Gearhart
After days and nights of many thrills,
I said, "Bet my COLT
Gave you a big jolt."
In my JAGUAR, we raced through the hills.
--- Jon Gearhart
Lost his Letter for playing it safe.
For he dropped a long pass,
On the gridiron grass,
When he learned that a football was traif.
--- Lantzmen P8306
Has lusted about it for days;
And on clasping his hands
'Round a broad in the stands,
Made a touchdown in less than two plays.
--- Hugh Oliver A052A
His asshole is cursed with a bend.
Penetration is hard;
You have got to use lard:
He's famed as the squad's tightest end.
--- Armand Singer
One in particular bends
An interesting way
So his muscles play
In public where his pants-seam rends.
--- Marlene Lewis
Did fumble while trying a thrust.
He had thought he would score
But he fumbled some more.
He got up from the bed in disgust.
--- Albin Chaplin P8306e
Who took the whole football team in.
She screamed, "Fill me up Rusty,
Don't let me get dusty!"
Drank him down like a bottle of gin!
--- Anon
Who screwed doggie-fashion, you see.
They both would attest
That this method was best
For watching N.F.L. on T.V.
--- Laurence Craft
Was gay and an over-achiever.
When he came to South Bend,
He first played as tight end,
But wound up as a big wide receiver.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9111a
Who was greedy as a chorus gal.
So one fine day
He left L.A.
And ripped off the fans in Nor Cal.
--- Anon
Who mustn't have been very well.
Despite all the sellouts,
The team got the hell out,
And Baltimore is where they fell.
--- Anon
Was arrested for causing team friction.
It seems instead of TD's
He kept track of their pleas,
And arrests versus actual convictions!
--- Peg Kay
To ogle what this fair cowgal 'as:
Boobies so high and fair
They look lighter than air
And fully-packed blue jeans, for ballas'.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8412
Went into a Vegas casino.
He bet all his money
With a little blonde honey,
Who now drives a black El Camino
--- Anon
And will sit out the Superbowl once more.
Their fans think some day
They'll win with no Elway.
But then, quoth the Ravens, "Nevermore!"
--- Election 2000
Come Monday will be feeling remorse;
For the NFC streak
Will reach a new peak,
As will Elway's, as a matter of course.
--- Ed Bick
"Youse guys are a bunch of coke-sackers.
In case you don't knows,
How de story goes,
It goes: Sock-tucker, cork-soaker, lip-smackers!"
--- G2358
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