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Superbowl quality varies.
Comes down to a bunch of Hail Mary's.
Pittsburg or Dallas?
The ball is a phallus,
And the players? They're all latent fairies.
(Hail Mary - throw long and pray your guys catch it)
There once was a team from Houston, There once was a gal named Frontiere (Los Angeles Rams football team move to St Louis, Mo)
The NFL Cheerleaders sought The two thousand yards of O.J.'s (Payton broke single season football rushing record)
Well, speaking of being impressed, My pal says, "The Chargers are killin'; But wait! What is this I see? It's time for the old snap-hold-kick; There once was a fellow from Seoul (C J Park)
Although it looked worse than she feared, I've got a snack for you right here, There once was a Packer named Ray, There once was a guy with no class, From trying to sing him some praise, (quarterback Pittsburg Steelers 2005)
There once was a team from Seattle, There once was as team called the Hawks Dallas' number one nympho named Gwen 'Twas the very last hour of the month. The magnificent Super Bowl's here again; When the referee's whistle starts play again, With his golden arm cocked for a pass again, Now a running back rips off right tackle again, We predict that there may be a rumble again -- With a fourth down and goal on the one again; The magnificent Super Bowl's here again, In that glittery game, bowl d'super, Each time they exhibited spark Though "in it" until the fourth quarter, A bingo-hall regular, Finn, High rollers, who play Baccarat, For a Bingo game he'd sometimes pine Playing Bingo, I find's a real bore. The old people sat down for the game, What she did, some consider not nice; A guy was once watching TV Gambling's the work of the devil, A man who played terrible poker A crusty old codger from Kent A frequent high roller named Dino There was a young gambler named Price A wealthy young man from Kentucky, When gambling away at pontoon, The old gent from Kent went to Reno, A woman while gambling in Reno At Las Vegas a lady named Kit There is a French garcon from Metz, A gambling gay man called Nayles A poker fanatic named Klause Klause had to think for a while, The stakes were getting so high, They have lots of roulette wheels in Jackpot, A gambler from out in the West I once was an unlucky bettor; The worldly young lady named Faye There was a young gambler called Gwyn, At the Kirkland Hotel in Korrumburra, There was a young playboy named Brett; I ruined a lively romance Two out of three is not bad; The lottery game is so clever; I have never partaken in Lotto; There was a young gambler from Roker, There's many a lady I've lusted; In my youth I adored Brigitte Bardot, But now I must start on my task. 'Twas there in a lavish casino,
--- How Weird Cosell
Whose fans did very little boostin'.
So to the Opry they went,
Nashville its money lent,
And now that it's there, they'll be losin'.
--- Anon
Whose ownership practices were scary.
She took over the Rams,
Turned them into lambs,
And now they're the shame of Missouri.
--- Anon
To improve on their image and lot.
Said Rozelle, in a fit,
"You can show tits a bit,
But thou shalt not display any twat!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2313
Was a record than none would erase.
But turn loose the juice --
It may be no use
On account of the way Payton plays.
--- Hugh Oliver A139A
The Chargers are doin' their best.
But Pittsburg ain't buyin';
Their offense is flyin';
The Steelers will conquer the West.
--- Scott Oliver
They'll give Pittsburg one mighty grillin'."
And I think he might
Just may be right.
They're one up, but Pittsburg is drillin'.
--- Scott Oliver
The quarterback's clutching his knee!
If Rothelberger's out,
It leaves me some doubt
Of whether they'll get even three.
--- Scott Oliver
It splits the uprights. What a trick!
The Chargers are done;
The Steelers have won!
My buddy owes me a sax-pick. (six pack)
--- Scott Oliver
Whose passion was the Super Bowl.
He tried to pick teams
Using stats by the reams,
But was vexed by a wayward field goal.
--- Literary Group
It wasn't so much they got sheared,
As all that bare skin
Made her long for sin,
When all the Rams down in front cheered.
--- Anon
If you give my home town a cheer.
'Cause here we've got cravin's
For my team The Ravens;
If they win I'll buy you a beer.
--- Anon
Who spent all his time in Green Bay.
But now he'll be leaving
With family still grieving,
But the maggots will feast night and day.
--- HotMail
Pulling limericks out of his ass.
Respect, he had zero,
For the death of a hero,
So he spewed out bad rectal gas.
--- Craig Koller
I'm in Roethlisberger's bad ways,
Because in my song,
I've spelt his name wrong;
Must say some Maria, Aves.
--- Scott Oliver
Whose owner was visibly rattled.
Emerald City had no dough,
So Behring had to go,
And Los Angeles is back in the saddle.
--- Anon
Who said, "The twelfth man really rocks.
Let's show our home town
That we can get down,
And knock off the NFL's socks.
--- Meps N Barry
Loved the Cowboys' eleven he-men.
She laid up with the fullback
And, as they did pull back,
Said, "That makes it second and ten."
--- Ed Wolfert P8407
Wailed a Super Bowl fan, "Is it donth?
I've been drinking all day,
Watching, waiting for play.
Now it's over, I've missed it. Who wonth?"
--- Prof M-G
There's the Star-Spangled-Banner to cheer again;
With a third down and long,
With the plays that go wrong,
And the one-minute spot to plug beer again.
--- H Wilson Smith P8801
And the quarterback looks with dismay again
At the solid defense,
He is growing more tense
And he know that he's going to pray again.
--- H Wilson Smith P8801
Well aware that he'll land on his ass again --
But, by God, he's protected,
The receiver connected
And it's first down and ten on the grass again.
--- H Wilson Smith P8801
But we hear a most ominous crackle again;
Takes time out while we see
If he busted his knee,
While defense figures out how to shackle again.
--- H Wilson Smith P8801
On the very next play there's a fumble again
And a noisy dispute --
Center bleeds from his snoot,
And the penalty brings a big grumble again.
--- H Wilson Smith P8801
Our moment of truth has begun again.
It is now or never,
So with daring endeavor,
We must stake out our spot in the sun again.
--- H Wilson Smith P8801
With a lot of exitement this year again.
There are banners and bands,
A few fights in the stands,
And commercials go "boom" in my ear again.
--- H Wilson Smith P8801
My Giants exhibited stupor.
They stumbled around
As their balls hit the ground,
While Macorkle looked more like Mark Duper.
--- Anon
Or a ball would fly true in it's arc,
A hand in the air
By Lewis or Boulware
Would dash their poor hopes in the dark.
--- Anon
They only disguised the foul slaughter;
A myriad of small sins
From Fossel and Collins,
Made them look like the general's daughter.
--- Anon
Came close, but he still didn't win.
His efforts were naught
Due to one missing spot;
He was just B10 off, once again.
--- Jerry Nordal
Claim that thousands to them, don't mean squat.
But bargain priced wine
Is served until nine,
So the game ends at eight on the dot.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
And allow, "Hope I'm not out of line,
When I say at one time
I thought Bingo a crime,
But I've since found it merely B-9."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0401
I've been known to drop off, slump, and snore.
And so I never win
As much as a pin,
Missing numbers they called out B-4."
--- Arthur Deex P0402
This is file czl
Bingo! Lotto! What's in a name?
From legs number eleven,
To Heinz fifty seven,
Do you play it? You don't! What a shame!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
To the crap game Claire added some spice.
Between games, for a fee,
Very stealthily she
Blew the shooters as well as the dice.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
To check his draw on the lottery,
He thought he'd won!
What his friends had done:
Buggered video made the numbers agree.
--- Anon
So President John, I will level
With you, Shoot your crap
Over some other sap,
Or you may get a call from our Neville...
--- Anon
Held a hand that was just mediocre.
His pals he did bluff
But it wasn't enough;
Now his friend is the local pawnbroker.
--- Fun Lim-R-iddles #2 P8603
Was bored, so to Vegas he went.
Wine, women and song,
He didn't last long.
His cash like his dick was soon spent.
--- Skumbunny
Could perfume about half the casino.
To keep Dino spending
Without others offending,
The management "comps" him with beano.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
Who risked all on the throw of the dice.
But the vision he saw
Of great wealth, had a flaw,
When he rolled good old 'snake eyes' twice.
--- Warrick Elrod
To a casino went, feeling lucky.
They got his cash in a flash,
Left him trash for his stash.
Who goes to stick, winds up a stuckee.
--- Dan Sullivan
I blew up like a barrage balloon.
I grew fatter and fatter --
Particularly the latter;
Well it screwed up the whole afternoon.
--- Kevin Hale Q
And got lucky at last with Beano.
Fortune restored,
He caroused and he whored,
And declared America Keen-o!
--- Annie Jay
Was arrested while at the casino.
She'd thrown down her cash,
And grabbed the tight ass
Of the dealer 'stead of her bambino.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Vowed to bet on the black till it hit.
As all night she had seen
Just the red and the green,
In the morning she left in a snit.
--- Cyber Geezer
Who spends all day placing large bets,
Losing more than he's won,
But his hobby is fun;
He enjoys all the pleasure he gets!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Has a system that just never fails:
"I flip coins in bed --
If you don't get some head,
Then it's just as good coming up tails."
--- Loz
Bet his opponent his house.
His opponent didn't blink,
But with nod and a wink,
Called, then he re-raised his spouse.
--- Anon
Then he said with a smile,
"I'll raise your weak bet,
With a better one yet.
My fifty-foot pet crocodile."
--- Anon
They decided the loser should die.
So their lives they did bet,
On Russian Roulette.
Klause watched his opponent's brains fly.
--- Anon
But the croupiers there are a black lot.
If your gambling itch
Makes you think you'll get rich,
You're a true certifiable crackpot.
--- John E Mayhood P9805
Was putting his luck to the test.
Superstitious, with glow,
His dice he would throw
Saying: "Look, jakta alea est!" (??- McW)
--- Carl Ludvig Kjelsen P0411
Not much of a gaming go-getter.
Then I turned right around
At Fitzgerald's I found
I became quite the gaming jet-setter.
--- Darel
Went to Harrah's casino to play.
On cards, craps, or roulette,
She did not lay a bet,
But she did lay the studly croupier.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
Who says "You don't play, you don't win!:
He went on a week's cruise;
Every day he would lose.
Returning, what a state he was in.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Farmer Brown bet a hand on his furrow.
When he lost all his business,
He betted his missuss;
He threw it and left a free fella.
--- Alan Chilver
A sucker for placing a bet.
He followed the horses,
Spent days on golf courses,
But he's thousands of dollars in debt.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
By betting on odd games of chance.
I wagered my girl
With a fellow named Earl --
Guess who's getting into her pants.
--- Jemstone
For the weekend predictions I had.
The Sun, it did shine;
The rugby was fine;
The Lotto just makes me feel sad.
--- Rick Limmer T9710
It is billed as a worthwhile endeavor.
One son of a bitch
Will become filthy rich,
While the rest will be poorer than ever.
--- Al Chaplin P9610a
"Lady Luck's not for me," is my motto.
If by chance I might win,
I'd celebrate on gin,
Partying until I was blotto.
--- Arthur Pattaffy Q
Who spent all his time playing poker.
Ace, king, queen, jack, ten,
Came again and again;
His smirk gave him the name of "The Joker."
--- Arthur Pattaffy
There's many a flush that's been busted.
You don't stand a chance
With cards or romance,
'Cause women and luck can't be trusted.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Had pictures from films where she starred-o,
And places she'd play,
In Cannes or St Tropez,
Or glittering in Monte Carlo.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Miss Bardot, alas, I must ask
You to put from your mind,
In place you will find,
A beautiful young Monegasque.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Where jewelery sparkled like vino,
The roulette wheel spun,
"Alors, I have won!"
Leaned o'er for her chips, then one Gino...
--- Tiddy Ogg
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