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For thrills with an added dimension With less than two inches to go Then down again inches away, "Next time I come down", he announced, But a note where she stood said: "Dear Joe, We all know that tampons are spongey, A man on a length of elastic First climb the Bungee by the stair; Oh what lovely naked delights! There once was a chap called El Tent, We named our son Christian, dear Lord, When jumping from planes it's well known, Says a note that I got in the mail, A couple who felt quite astute On a plane flying high in the skies, Luckily a parachute I wear, I grabbed hold of your parachutes Come gather and hear now my tale So now I've a mis'rable stump They rushed me off to see a doc Doc thought, "At such matters I've laughed Now Doc Recker said, "No, I can't So he amputated my schlong, He said, "It'll need a skin cover The skin that Doc used for the graft Well, that is a grand explanation, Appointments are already made, My new surgery's on hold, my dear, The thing you're most likely to notice I hope that I do not regret A naked skydiver named Cee "Now she'll have to stop being smug," But Rondi replied with dispatch, With John, she did her first tandem, And Ronald, I nearly forgot, Sir Ron was the first to extol Ron's wife said, "This midair refuelin' Maxwell's a parachutist called Pop; A parachute jumper named Beeple A nude skydiver sliced the chill air, If you're going to jump with a chute, High altitude makes my tool soften Old Skydiver took to his 'chute That's just what I need, triple-D's. Don't worry, they'll ride up with wear; Your nipples aren't shriveled, they're pert, So now as your chute slows our fall, And while you continue to hump, The skydiving novice, Miss Crandall Reads an obituary in Maine, Many things don't come off without hitches; Next time he should open his chute, A sky-diving couple named Lord, In the course of a parachute jump, There was a sky-diver named Bowers It's Sunday; the day to begin The plan was to parachute nude. A lovable skydiver named Sherm, Said the jumpmaster, rugged but battered, I once owned a Cherokee Six And sometimes, when business was slow, Would the new design work? We'd not know Each time we approached the drop zone, When the aircraft was properly squared, "Football," Coach Lombardi once said, With 'Bama involved in a scandal, You beauty! A goal! That's worth six!
Joe bungee-jumped off a suspension
Bridge aiming for Flo
Who was lying below
It awaiting his thrusting extension.
--- Peter Wilkins
Before plunging his rod into Flo
Up he went like a shot
In the sky, a mere dot,
Leaving Flo in frustration below.
--- Peter Wilkins
Wanking madly and hoping to spray,
Over Flo 'fore he went
On his upward ascent;
But it wasn't his luckiest day.
--- Peter Wilkins
As the bungee-rope upwardly bounced,
"Will you stand up and open
Your mouth?" "Not a hope in
Hell", Flo said, as homeward she flounced.
--- Peter Wilkins
When you're through with your bouncing please go
To my place in this street,
Where I'm warming the sheet
In my silky black panties. Yours - Flo
--- Tiddy Ogg
And oftentimes get rather grungey.
But why they have strings,
Among other things,
Is so that the crabs can all bungee.
--- Drayton
Decided to do something drastic.
When he jumped off the cliff he
Came back in a jiffy,
And screamed to his friends, "It's fantastic!"
--- Michael Palin
Naked and without a care.
And we'll start to hump
Above -- then we'll jump
And finish ourselves in mid-air!
--- Archie
But I am afraid of such heights,
But I like it al fresco,
(And sometimes in Tesco)
Or the car on a dark stormy night.
--- Jayne
Who'd bungee'd a speedy descent.
The elastic, it stretched
and the spectators retched.
Now everyone calls him El Dent.
--- Anon
'Cause at birth the angel just soared,
Then was bounced right back in,
And, Praise God!, born again,
On his bungee umbilical cord.
--- Anon
You know very well you're alone.
Once you step into space,
You had better say grace;
If you goofed, it's the last flight you've flown.
--- Tom Patton P0303
"I've a parachute offered for sale.
Never opened; used once
For skydiving stunts,
But there is some slight staining. Call Gail."
--- Hugh Clary
Made love in their joint parachute.
But orgasms in air
Caused their chute to impair,
And the carnage was quite absolute.
--- The Sailor & Co P0310
I decided skydiving was wise.
Carol, in the next seat,
Sat exposing her meat,
So I dove in the muff 'twixt her thighs!
--- Gearhart
'Cause the door of the plane wasn't there.
Wind blew it right off,
So this tongue muffing boff,
You'll have to finish in mid-air!
--- Gearhart
And stuck my tongue deep in the roots
Of your inner sanctum;
I twisted and yanked 'em --
They now dangle down to your boots!
--- Gearhart
Depicting our sky dive that failed
You just might enjoy
What's become of my toy
[I swear it's the truth, each detail...]
--- Carol
Because of our ill fated jump
We should not of tried it
[But don't get excited
For in the end I can still hump]
--- Carol
To check on the state of my cock
He awed and he ohed
And his brow he furrowed,
When he saw what was left of my stalk.
--- Carol
To myself much later. A shaft
That's rogered clean off
From a jolly good boff
Leaves working men quite understaffed!"
--- Carol
Save a wee thing that's so scant.
There's nothing left to it.
I'll just have to do it--
I'll lop off the rest and implant."
--- Carol
And that didn't take very long.
And then Dr. Recker
Called up Black & Decker,
Who built a steel tubular dong.
--- Carol
So that you can still be a lover.
I've looked high and low fer.
A fox or a gopher,
Or something soft to rightly shove 'er."
--- Carol
Was taken off from a giraffee.
So now my cock's spotted,
And longs to be twatted;
So bend and I'll rip you in half!
--- Carol
But you best get a new operation.
I don't want to feel
A cold cock of steel,
In this pink meat unless there's vibration.
--- Carol
'Til then, no fucking I'm afraid.
A new surgeon was found,
Worldwide he's renowned,
'Til then, keep that thing in the shade.
--- Carol
Till May 22nd I fear...
So if I can't pump
With my temp stump,
You will just have to sit waiting here.
--- Jon Gearhart
While I'm busy tonguing your lotus,
Your petals won't wilt
From missing my stilt,
For tongues still helps lacking in scrotus.
--- Jon Gearhart
The choice of my surgeon, my pet.
Seems competency
Comes at a high fee --
His rates are the least I've seen yet.
--- Jon Gearhart
Liked to jump from a big DC3.
"But to jump in the buff
Can be awfully rough
When it's raining or hailing," said she.
--- Michael Whalen
The nude jumper said with a shrug.
"That jumper named Rondi's
Not really a blondie;
The curtains do not match the rug."
--- Michael Whalen
The curtains and rug may not match,
But perhaps you'd get in
And not go low again, (missing the formation on skydive)
If you'd keep your eyes off of my snatch.
--- Michael Whalen
This is file cbl
But fear made her hand movements random.
So when they alit,
She shouted "Oh Shit!"
As testicles back she did hand him.
--- Michael Whalen
Lack of use caused his weapon to rot.
But that old knight of gold (Army Golden Knights teammember)
Now he's using his lance a lot.
--- Michael Whalen
The virtues of sex in freefall.
But when the air's bumpy,
His weapon gets jumpy.
He rarely can find the right hole.
--- Michael Whalen
Has made my ass sore, I'm not foolin'.
Your aim must improve;
You must find the right groove,
Or a new girlfriend to stick your tool in."
--- Michael Whalen
Each day jumps from planes without stop.
"Before each I have a
Large hot cup ofjava,
'Cause it's good to the very last drop."
--- Tom Patton P0303
Was seen by some horrified people,
When he fell from the sky
On a day in July,
And was speared by the top of a steeple.
--- Cap'n Bean P0304
As it tousled his long golden hair.
Through the airy blue ocean,
He sighed his emotion:
My balls and my chute's still up there.
--- David A Brooks
Then you'd better be highly astute
To the way you should fall,
And to know, most of all,
That your chute is a good one, to boot.
--- Cap'n bean P0303
But still I love flying and, often,
I jump from the plane
To harden again.
Still, sky-diving just can't beat boffin'.
--- Randog
Then fell all the way lookin' cute --
Instead of D-ring,
He'd grabbed the wrong thing;
Out of habit he'd pulled his skin flute.
--- John Miller
Now my boobs will hang down past my knees.
They hang there like ropes;
I look like a dope;
My nipples like two shriveled peas.
--- Carol
You'll soon have a normal-shaped pair.
My rubbing and licking
And sucking and dicking,
Will soon have them back up to there.
--- Jon Gearhart
And always on stand-up alert,
When my tongue's upon 'em,
Around 'em and on 'em,
And I'm careful them not to hurt.
--- Jon Gearhart
I'll slide my root up to the ball.
In and out, out and in,
Again and again,
Until my nuts empty their haul!
--- Jon Gearhart
Landing on the ground with a thump;.
Though you did break my fall,
Squish, squish went your ball.
Kerplunk! Your dicks a one inch stump!
--- Carol
On a tandem jump pulled the wrong handle.
The instructor in pain,
So deployed the main
But he still had one bad "roaring candle".
--- John Miller 0266
"We announce the demise of John Lane.
Now at peace and asleep.
(Parachute - going cheap --
Used once, never opened, small stain)"
--- H Myers TP9804a
To often they're subject to glitches.
Jump from a plane?
You must be insane!
I think I would shit in my britches.
--- MrMalo
Instead of trying to look cute.
And now he's quite flat
And looks like a twat,
Appearing just like a squashed fruit.
--- Hadyn
Decided to screw while they soared.
They got so excited
While flying united,
They never did pull the rip cord.
--- Anon
A young lady came down with a bump.
When folk came to her aid,
One said "Don't be dismayed,
But I've found a large lump in your rump!"
--- X Rowland Burnham P8512
Who thought he would try out his powers.
He attempted to fly
From a way up on high.
On his grave there are beautiful flowers.
--- Albin Chaplin
A new week of original sin.
If you girls want to try
It butt-naked while sky-
Diving, knock or just parachute in.
--- Anon
(Their pubies had all been shampooed.)
We'd see more than a thigh;
We'd see pie in the sky!
When those cheerleaders float down thus viewed.
--- Ogni Gioia
Bailed out with his prick long and firm.
Two jerks and a spasm,
Produced an orgasm,
And he spelled out "I love you" in sperm.
--- Anon
The training schedule never quite mattered.
Canceling half the course
Because we had a loss;
The trainee hit the ground and was splattered.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0303
At an airport way out in the sticks.
And some of the time
Away I would climb,
With skydiving fellows and chicks.
--- John Miller
I worked with a skydiving pro
At testing design
Of a parachute line,
Where no other testers would go.
--- John Miller
But up in the sky we would go...
I've seen where a knife
Alone saved his life,
As he sawed through the lines from below.
--- John Miller
His directions were in a low tone:
"Five left...hold...two right...
Now hold that line tight...
In a moment I'll leave you alone!"
--- John Miller
His pitch rose when, "CUT NOW!" he blared.
And I wondered why.
His honest reply:
"My voice always squeaks when I'm scared!"
--- John Miller
"Is not contact -- collision, instead."
There are less violent sports
Played on game boards and courts,
But a contact sport's best played in bed.
--- William N Nesbit P0900
It's unclear if their football withstand 'll
NCAA's slap
On their Crimson Tide yap,
'Less they fart the Messiah by Handel.
--- Anon
Nah! It's just a behind, mate; his kick
Sent it past the tall post
Through the out ones. Most
Referees would call one point. The pricks!
--- Rory Ewins
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