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A sentry on guard in a thicket, A deaf mute who couldn't say 'Nay' There was a young girl from Eutoxeter, (published 1870
There was an old man of Molucca, (Published 1880)
There was a young girl from Uttoxeter, I once knew a lady named Roxy, Now poxy old Roxy's at fault; I'm announcing a pox that defeated; Since his girl had the clap, Mr. Fritz There was a young lady of Grotton, My uncle died in the Great War, A randy young cleric of yore, The girl was as hot as they get; A Marine sergeant named William Cox Oscar, a kindly old ox, Said the whore to the guy on the street The main problem with Jim is complex; Had Ward Hardman the tiniest bit There was an old broad from the Hague Conquistadors, muy civilized, Syphilophobiac Jules A loose-living fellow from Dallas (tabes dorsalis - syphillis of the spinal chord)
Casanova was wont to complain Into a bordello in Tiflis There once was a man with the pox; A platinum blonde, Goldilocks, There was a young playboy named Shorty, His sex life was nothing but AUGHT. An internet whore, Mary Tricks, Pandora's all-giving; her box A profligate rake, Clifford Schwartz, There was a young hooker named Abby, There once was a captain named Lou In the house of ill-fame that's next door, No, the rotten old crotch of each whore There was a young woman of Hadley, Old Mick found a scab on his dick "I'm usually immune to the shocks Cried the frolicsome whores of Tobruk, A DISPUTATIOUS "Don Juan" He was a DESULTORY lout, I once met a gorgeous young dancer But what of them Huddersfield lasses A careless young lover named Mitch Her beauty unearthly, ethereal, My back passage has fungus she said; Thee once was a young man named Vern; There once was a young man named Earl; There was a young woman named Bella; It's time for me to hit the hay; A taxicab driver in Tiflis, It was dark when he bedded dear Babs, Health tips from a doctor named Roilet" The hooker named Mary's not nice; In the badlands of Bolivia, You should have gone down to Peru, With my conquistadorial noux, Then I landed a girl from Patagonia; In the Badlands of Bolivia, Promiscuous Jennifer Trapp A hooker named Julie by name; Alas, for the doughty O'Connor Two sisters called Phyllis and Rhea The doctor examined Miss Mize, All the boys call her Petrie Dish Sue; With AIDS, crabs, thrush, herpes, and flu, This Petrie Dish Sue has a brother
Met a milk-maid exposing her wicket.
In exchange for some coins,
He united their loins,
And soon after became a pocked picket.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9707a
Was stuffed by twelve men in one day.
But the good Lord who guards
Deaf mutes from wild hards
Gave them pox ere their pricks drew away.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And all the boys pushed their cocks at her.
From one of the cocks,
She contracted the pox,
And poxed all the cocks in Eutoxeter.
--- Cythera's Hymnal L1125
Who wanted his daughter, to fuck her.
But she got the best
Of his little incest,
And poxed the old man of Molucca.
--- L1110
And the boys used to flash all their cocks at her.
Till one night she got hot,
And poxed up the lot.
Now the boys just throw bricks and large rocks at her.
--- Anon
Who seemed like a real foxy doxie.
But now I regret
That we ever met,
The cock doc says Roxy was poxy.
--- Tiddy Ogg
She infected you using her vault.
Did your pox doctor gloat
As he looked down your throat
Saying, "That's not the way you got caught."
--- Richard Jean
My reaserch on AIDS is completed,
Since I've found the direction
To avoid the infection
Is to keep my mouth shut and stay seated.
--- Hugh Clary
Decided the rear hole to blitz,
Thus avoiding the pox
Which infected her box,
But his pecker has now got the shits.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8512a
Had to plug up her coosie with cotton.
For it was no myth
That the girl had the syph,
She stunk, and her titties were rotten.
--- L1099
From something he caught from a whore.
He'd hack and he'd spit,
Vomit, then shit,
And shout, "If I'd only noticed that sore!"
--- Luke Sheppard
Was poxed by a wandering whore.
"May the Almighty keep us
From disease of the prepuce,"
He said as he sliced off the sore.
--- Mark Rabnett
Flushed panting, and covered with sweat.
When I saw that her box
Was covered with pox,
Any wonder that I got upset?
--- John Miller
Made confession, then died in the box.
His Fidelis was Semper,
He died of distemper,
But some said he'd died of the pox.
--- Laurence U
One day contracted the pox.
It itched and it burned,
For relief how he yearned;
It spread from his head to his hocks.
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9306
"Sex with me is a safe and sure treat.
I've no virus or bacillus
That could sicken or kill us,"
But she slipped him a sly spirochete.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0407
As his life has been lacking in sex.
And we hear from the women,
"He's with spirochete's swimmin',
So who wants to be one he infects?"
--- Ward Hardman
Of awareness, he'd get it, to wit:
Trolls hover above him,
Can't help it; they love him!
Just as flies are attracted to shit.
--- John Harrington
Whose notion of virtue was vague.
She'd take on Caucasians,
Blacks, browns, and Eurasians --
But wound up with syph and the plague.
--- Armand E Singer 57
Brought Mexico gifts to be prized:
No longer depraved,
The Incas were saved
So that they too could be syphillized.
--- Norm Storer
Lives according to hygienic rules.
He has never been seen
At a public latrine,
Or in coeducational schools.
--- G1923
Observed a small sore on his phallus.
He rubbed on Ben-Gay,
And the sore went away.
Now he suffers from tabes dorsalis!
--- Don Boen P8302
That romances were often a pain,
"For the prettiest lasses,
Love eventually passes,
But syphilis tends to remain."
--- A N Wilkins P8512
Strode the latter-day image of Triphallus.
Three whores strove with might
To provide him delight,
But the outcome was tertiary syphilis.
--- G2737
Who acquired the dick of an ox.
He carved it a little
Into a small fiddle,
(The scrotum he fed to a fox).
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who kept a manage near the docks,
Had if off with three bears
Near Wapping-On-Stairs,
And infected them all with the pox.
--- Fiona Pitt-Ketthley
Who thought of himself as quite sporty.
He had plenty of moxie
But he clapped up each doxy,
For chancres and clap were his forte.
--- G1956
The desultory diddling he bought
From "Ladies of Night"
Who gave the poor wight,
All the diseases they'd caught.
--- Chris Papa
Now auctions her body for clicks;
Transmission of which
Results in an itch:
Chlamydia, herpes, or ticks.
--- Nick
Accomodates various jocks.
As spoils of the sport,
They've all of them caught
Chlamydia, chancroid, and pox.
--- Nick Lanyen
Is plagued with venereal warts,
Plus chlamydia, syph,
And huge buboes--poor Cliff;
What's worse, he just constantly farts.
--- Armand Singer
Whose temper made customers flabby.
So she had to explain
That the clap was a pain,
And the crabs made her feel very crabby.
--- Anon
Who sailed with his first all-girl crew.
Debarking the dkiff,
He had clap and the syph,
And both of his balls were turned blue.
--- David Miller
This is file bxm
I've sampled the snatch of each whore.
But one of those drabs
Gave me both clap and crabs,
So I won't whore next door anymore.
--- G1910
Will feel my John Thomas no more.
Some bitch that I mounted
Had crab lice uncounted,
And, Ke-rist! are my genitals sore!
--- G1911
Who would with a omnibus cad lie.
He gave her the crabs,
And besides minor scabs,
The pox, too, she got very badly.
--- L1100
And went to the nurse pretty quick.
She told him to strip
And then biting her lip,
Said, "Shit, I feel horribly sick!"
--- PeterW
Of scabby disgusting old cocks.
But this is outrageous,
It's highly contageous;
You've crabs, clap, and the pox.
--- PeterW
"Come see us and try out your luck!
We've got crotch-rot and scabies,
Plus pox, clap and rabies!
You might catch'em all! Buck a fuck!"
--- Anon
Would never put a condom on.
And though fun in bed,
Passed diseases dread
To most ladies, hither and yon.
--- Chris Papa
Tried to make all the gals about.
Result of this folly:
AIDS, crabs and by golly!
Diseased tool he'd soon be without.
--- Chris Papa
And straight-way set out to romance her.
But I caught a disease:
Headlice and fleas,
And herpes and testicular cancer.
--- John Miller
Whose pussies are wide as crevasses,
Infested with fleas
And unsavoury cheese,
And emitting obnoxious gases?
--- Anon
Was plagued with an inguinal itch,
Resulting from fleas
Or social disease --
He never was really sure which.
--- Armand E Singer 794A
Had passionate lovers in serial;
Gave sensual pleasure
And just for good measure,
The major diseases venereal.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0208
It's horrid and a strange shade of red.
The bush that I own
Is well overgrown,
And conceals a diseased flowerbed.
--- Donald McGill
When he peed, it started to burn.
"Holy Shit!", screamed Vern's girl,
"I caught VD from Earl!"
"Get all partner's tested," Vern learned.
--- Roe
He's the one who was fucking Vern's girl!
After poor Vern did heal,
He made that Earl squeal--
Beat the shit out of him till he hurled!
--- Roe
First Earl and now Vern was her feller.
To break the routine,
Vern, her, and friend Jean,
Had a threesome, way down in her cellar!
--- Roe
I'm about done with Valentines Day.
Vern, Bella, and Jean
Kept themselves nice and clean,
And I think they're happy to this day!
--- Roe
Told his fare, "Hookers here are so shiftless,
Few tourists rejoice
Though they have a wide choice
Between itches, gon, crabs, clap, and syphillis."
--- G0681
So she didn't notice his scabs.
This shows us the danger
Of screwing a stranger;
He got herpes and she gave him crabs.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209
"Drink water from wells, but first boil it;
And you won't contract herpes
Just from slurping down slurpies,
Or syph from the seat of a toilet.
--- Armand Singer P0305
She has herpes and Syphilis and lice.
Said her doctor named Dan
Who's a practical man,
"You'll just have to lower your price."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0606
I bought the nice butt of Olivia;
Bit her bush in a rush,
Buggered bum, then caught thrush,
Herpes, the pox, and chlamydia.
--- David Miller
And rented the quim of young Sue.
Or maybe Sabrina
In old Argentina
Could give you a cheap thrill or two.
--- Tiddy Ogg
I too, landed a girl from Peru.
But by race an Inca,
She let off such stinkas,
Like llama shit mixed with dog poo.
--- Jester Jon
She seemed to bet bonier and bonier.
Then we tried aural sex,
But her hearing it vexed.
(She only had one -- 'twas a lone ear.)
--- Jester Jon
I bought the butt of Olivia;
Bit her bush in a rush,
Buggered her bum, caught thrush,
Herpes, the pox and chlamydia.
--- Anon
Has herpes and syph and the clap,
Plus trichomoniasis,
Severe candidiasis, (fungal disease)
And trouble in taking a crap.
--- Armand E Singer P0109
I found to my cost she was game.
She had gonorrhea, dandruff and fleas,
Attitude, dog breeath, a bad skin disease.
She lacked only a good sense of shame.
--- Birko
Who fucked like a fiend for his honor,
'Till a flapper named Rhea,
Colluded to be a
Mother to Lueco and Gonor.
--- L1114N
Had shortened their names. Their idea?
Their mother, who'd listened
For lovely sounds, christened
One Syphilis, one Gonorrhea.
--- Laurence Perrine P8512
(His verict, alarming but wise);
"Mercy me and sweet Jesus,
You've thirty diseases,
Contracted from spreading your thighs."
--- Armand E Singer 836
Have a look at her quim, Sonny, do;
A bacterial stew,
Protozoans there too;
You feel ill? Better run to the loo.
--- Allen Wolverton
My girl told me just what to do.
"Get off to a vet.
I see that you've met
My sister who's Petrie Dish Sue.
--- Archie
Who's filthy, unlike any other.
But you think that's bad?
There's her dirty dad,
And don't even mention her mother!
--- Marlene Lewis
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