Here's to the drug penicillin A retiring old sailor named Tripp, While sitting there spinning his dreidel, His conquest of the pretty young sewer (one who sews) There was an old whore from Castile, A horny young man named Sylvester Lamented a cockster named Mitch, A scraggly old fucker named Rick, An eager young cop from Latrobe, There once was a traveling miser The young person from old Aberystwyth, There was a young fellow named Vinal I sing of the lecher DeVries, On a business trip to D.C. A certain young cockster named Mitch Fine girls had old Madame McClure, There was a young man of Back Bay, (Luetic - syphilitic)
Now first he got acne vulgaris, With symptoms increasing in number, (gumma - rubbery tumor in tertiary syphilis)
Consider his terrible plight-- (apraxic - loss of function , ataxic - spinal syphilis )
His passions are strong as before, (tabes - spinal syphilis, see locomotor ataxia)
There are pains in his belly and knees, Though treated in every known way, I suppose you will think I'm sarcastic "Syphilis of the toe," said Doc Myna, Llewellyn from Wrexham, a Druid, Old Bronwyn's much visited box, There was a young man of Cashmere, (Bayadere - Hindu dancing girl)
Reportedly Burlington Bertie By fifty old Bert had the pox; A young lady who once had a Jew beau, (Published 1870)
A young inexperienced boy Mrs Baker was known to be wild,
This is file bym
There once was a girl from far Rockaway, The spirochete made the squaw lazy, (Al Capone died of syphillis - McW)
A bawdy young houri of Tiflis A horrid old whore of Uttoxeter (published 1870)
There once was a doorman punctilious, Mommy made up with all of her men. The amorous Countess von Kellheim, There was a young girl of high station, An amorous cowboy named Morse He firstly invented mens cocks But if indeed he's a prick, Spreading the pox, Cortez sealed the fate (small pox vs great pox)
For Jason, the one panacea A rank whore, there never was ranker, (Published 1870)(Hunterian chancre - ??,elision - omission)
Poor Phyllis is very distraught, I hear Jenna, the tart from Blackpool I remember how Jenna did praise I may sound like I'm from the old school Some syphillic germs in Blackpool A strapping young fellow named Herman, There was a young girl of Eutoxeter, To VD an old man named McClure "Let me keep you from the night dew, Some syphillis germs in Blackpool A luetic young man from Kentucky There was a young girl of Bavaria, A Greek who came bearing a gift His chest is tatooed with an anchor; The poxed-up old Bey of Algiers There was a young lady of Reading, (Nymphae - labia minor)
Said a veteran cockster named Biff, A Rajah who ruled in Penang An airline hostess honeybun
It will seek out the nastys and kill 'em
And you'll be in it's debt
If you happen to get
An attack of acute penis-ill 'n.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Had a fling upon leaving his ship;
But he failed to use care
In a prostitute's lair,
Which is why Tripp has a postnaval drip.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'ConnerN
With his feet propped up on a table,
His scrotum does sag
Like a used-up teabag,
Pouring on chicken soup by the ladle!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Made his masculine confidence soar;
For he thought her a maid
Who had never been made,
Till the head of his prick became sore.
--- A N Wilkins P9112
Whose favors were thought quite a deal.
But the men that she screws,
All start singing the blues,
When their pricks start to blister and peel.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Took a whore to his room and caressed her.
He was proud of his skill,
But the joke was on Syl,
When his pecker proceeded to fester.
--- G1958
"I've known I've the prurient itch;
Though dating gets thorny
For somewone this horny,
It's that or castration -- Well, which?"
--- Armand E Singer 653
Had a sore on the end of his dick.
So great was its size
That it chafed women's thighs,
And the pus that it leaked, made 'em sick!
--- Anon
Was assigned by the DA to probe,
Into organized vice.
Which he did. But the price
Was the worst case of pustules since Job.
--- John Ciardi
Who lay with a dame called Eliza.
Now he takes no more trips;
He takes shots in the hips--
He's a sadder old miser, but wiser.
--- G1939
Who took grain to the mill to make grist with,
Clearly wasn't a maid,
For as Jack was afraid,
She infected the organ he pissed with.
--- A N Wilkins P8507
Who thought his affliction was spinal.
But medical examination
Disclosed contamination
From sources more likely vaginal.
--- G1962
Afflicted with social disease --
Not the usual kind
That perhaps comes to mind:
It ate him from navel to knees.
--- Armand E Singer 904
Jack picked up a case of V.D.
For ten bucks a shot
He was saved from crotch rot --
Changed his style to celibacy.
--- G1908
Was plagued with an inguinal itch;
The doctors guessed whoring
Or possibly scoring;
They couldn't be really sure which.
--- Armand E Singer 794
Nine nine point nine nine percent pure.
But a fellow named Vance
Picked the wrong one by chance,
And it took him a year for the cure.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1731
Who thought syphilis just went away,
And felt that a chancre
Was merely a canker
Acquired in lascivious play.
--- L1075
The kind that is rampant in Paris.
It covered his skin
From forehead to shin,
And now people asked where his hair is.
--- L1076
His aorta's in need of a plumber,
His heart is cavorting,
His wife is aborting,
And now he's acquired a gumma.
--- L1077
His eyes won't react to the light,
His hands are apraxic,
His gait is ataxic,
He's developing gun-barrel sight.
--- L1078
But his penis is flaccid and sore.
His wife now has tabes
And sabre-shinned babies--
She's really worse off than a whore.
--- L1079
His sphincters have gone by degrees,
Paroxysmal incontinence
With all its concomitants,
Brings on quite unpredictable pees.
--- L1080
His spirochetes grow day by day.
He's developed paresis,
Converses with Jesus,
And thinks he's the Queen of the May.
--- L1081
About sexual poses too plastic,
But many a fool
Has been led by his tool,
And has ended up syphilitic and spastic.
--- G1952
To his friend and colleague, Earl DeLyna.
It's quite clear to me, Earl,
That you've been with the girl
Who came here with Athlete's Vagina."
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
Had sex with old Bronwen of Clwyd;
But Bronwen had pox
And her overused box
Was awash with old seminal fluid.
--- Peter Wilkins
Indeed, was redolent with pox.
But she said with a grin,
"I still let's 'em in,
And then wipes 'em clean with me socks."
--- Vic Johnson
Who purchased a fine Bayadere.
He fucked all her toes,
Her mouth, eyes, and her nose,
And eventually poxed her left ear.
--- L1085
Cavorted with Gertie at thirty;
But Bertie at forty,
Perverted and naughty,
Deserted unfortunate Gertie.
--- Tiddy Ogg
His balls had had too many knocks.
But Gerty was flirty,
Looked about thirty,
And enjoyed a variety of cocks.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Found out soon that he'd got a bubo,
So when it was ripe
She put in a pipe,
And sucked up the juice through a tube oh!
--- L0778
Thought it terribly easy to toy
With his fiancee's box
Till she gave him the pox --
All along she was 'une fille de joie'!
--- Robin K Willoughby P8405
For her husband was built like a child.
Seeking manlier cocks,
She contracted the pox...
It all came to light at the trial.
--- G1968
Whose cunt could be smelled for a block away.
I went down for a sniff,
And came up with the syph,
So I look down and watch my cock rot away.
--- Falcon
A tomato whose first name was Daisy.
Columbus's cook
Took one passionate look.
Al Capone for that reason went crazy.
--- A N Wilkins P8811
Gave all of her customers syphilis.
She said, "I intend
To come clean in the end,
But so far I've been mighty damn shiftless."
--- G1960
Had all the dogs waving their cocks at her.
She'd stuffed up her cunny
With dog-roe and honey,
But it did her not good, for the pox et' her.
--- G1340
Whose manner was most supercilious.
He opened the door
For a world-famous whore,
And now has a case of syphilious.
--- G1948
Her date book is now up to ten.
Dr. Ehrlich's bullet magic
Reversed her story tragic,
So they're all hard and at it again.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0503
Was wondering, "Just how the hell I'm
To cure this damn syph,
That feels just as if
My bottom were lodged in Muspelheim?"
--- Mike Tice
Who ruined her fine reputation,
When she said she'd the pox,
From sucking on cocks--
She should really have called it "fellation."
--- L1220
Confessed to his foreman, "Of course,
You must let me go,
But how could I know
A guy could get syph from a horse!"
--- Armand E Singer 598
And followed with Pandora's Box.
But God is a prick;
He helped out Old Nick,
Creating the Genital Pox!
--- Archie
Then get him an ambulance, quick.
He's covered in pox
From his scalp to his sox --
Indeed, he is God-awful sick!
--- John Miller
Of the Aztecs. His captain's first mate
Acquired Cupid's Itch
From an Indian bitch,
Thus exchanging the small for the great.
--- A N Wilkins P8512a
Was to fuck (up the ass) his Medea.
But the germ in her box
Gave the poor man the pox:
It's reported she had a dire rear.
--- G2717
Possessed a Hunterian chancre.
But she made an elision
By a transverse incision,
For which all her lovers may thank her.
--- L1116
Because of the symptoms she's got.
The sores on her face
May mean her disgrace,
That's if Phyllis syphillis caught.
--- Irving Superior P8512
Left VD on old Snaggletooth's tool.
He traded his sperm
For an STD germ;
Now he's a syphilitic infected fool.
--- Snagglettooth
All that come that I left on her face;
How she said with a grin
With that sperm on her chin,
"That was truly amazing, that blaze!"
--- Snaggletooth
But a guy needs a skin on his tool;
When shagging a whore
Who's been shagged before.
It's my number one 'common sense' rule.
--- Snaggletooth
Took off and got in the genepool.
My limbs I have lost,
And my dick (that will cost);
Now I look like a moldy old ghoul.
--- Snaggletooth
Had a ring round his prick that was permanent.
All the old docs
Said the ring was the pox,
But he swore it was lipstick or vermin.
--- L1101
Who sported a tight-fitting baroque sweater.
Her mother cried, "Smart?
You look like a tart."
And flung accusations of pox at her.
--- Stanley J Sharpless
Lost his nose, and he said, "I'm quite sure
That I caught it in Hoxie
From this beautiful doxy.
It was worth it, though, simply to screw her."
--- A N Wilkins P8512
And I have a surprise for you."
She wasn't suspicious,
So result pernicious
Was lost hymen and syphilis, too.
--- Chris Papa
Gave Jenna a look that's uncool.
Her limbs she did lose,
And her tits and her nose;
Now she looks like a mouldy old ghoul.
--- Anon
Felt most unappeasably fucky.
He persuaded a dame
Who was halt, blind, and lame;
And, at that, he was damnably lucky.
--- G1926
Who thought her disease was malaria.
But the family doc
Remarked, to her shock,
"It is in the mercurial area."
--- L1082
Left his girlfriend a bit more than miffed;
If she had been wary
Instead of so merry,
Perhaps she would not have been syph'ed.
--- Norm Storer P9210a
His lips are disfigured by chancre --
A gift of a sort
From a girl in this port:
Though he never took trouble to thank her.
--- Laurence Perrine P8512
Viewed his pecker amidst scalding tears.
And he said to it, "Pete,
You're now nothing but meat,
But you've pleasured me nobly for years."
--- G1895
Who got poxed, and the virus kept spreading.
Her nymphae each day,
Kept sloughing away,
'Till at last you could shove your whole head in.
--- Cremorne 1882 L1117
"If you want it to keep growing stiff,
Don't ever take risks
With French odalisques: (female slave or concubine)
They will sure as hell leave you with syph."
--- Armand E Singer 574
Felt a terrible itch in his whang.
Cried he, "By my life!
I must have a poxed wife!
But which one can she be, in my gang?"
--- G1945
Screwed a sore-packered son of a gun.
Now our lovely young sylphess
Is corroded with syphilis,
Till her cunthole and bunghole are one!
--- G1920