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Here's to the drug penicillin
It will seek out the nastys and kill 'em
And you'll be in it's debt
If you happen to get
An attack of acute penis-ill 'n.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A retiring old sailor named Tripp,
Had a fling upon leaving his ship;
But he failed to use care
In a prostitute's lair,
Which is why Tripp has a postnaval drip.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'ConnerN

While sitting there spinning his dreidel,
With his feet propped up on a table,
His scrotum does sag
Like a used-up teabag,
Pouring on chicken soup by the ladle!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

His conquest of the pretty young sewer (one who sews)
Made his masculine confidence soar;
For he thought her a maid
Who had never been made,
Till the head of his prick became sore.
--- A N Wilkins P9112

There was an old whore from Castile,
Whose favors were thought quite a deal.
But the men that she screws,
All start singing the blues,
When their pricks start to blister and peel.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A horny young man named Sylvester
Took a whore to his room and caressed her.
He was proud of his skill,
But the joke was on Syl,
When his pecker proceeded to fester.
--- G1958

Lamented a cockster named Mitch,
"I've known I've the prurient itch;
Though dating gets thorny
For somewone this horny,
It's that or castration -- Well, which?"
--- Armand E Singer 653

A scraggly old fucker named Rick,
Had a sore on the end of his dick.
So great was its size
That it chafed women's thighs,
And the pus that it leaked, made 'em sick!
--- Anon

An eager young cop from Latrobe,
Was assigned by the DA to probe,
Into organized vice.
Which he did. But the price
Was the worst case of pustules since Job.
--- John Ciardi

There once was a traveling miser
Who lay with a dame called Eliza.
Now he takes no more trips;
He takes shots in the hips--
He's a sadder old miser, but wiser.
--- G1939

The young person from old Aberystwyth,
Who took grain to the mill to make grist with,
Clearly wasn't a maid,
For as Jack was afraid,
She infected the organ he pissed with.
--- A N Wilkins P8507

There was a young fellow named Vinal
Who thought his affliction was spinal.
But medical examination
Disclosed contamination
From sources more likely vaginal.
--- G1962

I sing of the lecher DeVries,
Afflicted with social disease --
Not the usual kind
That perhaps comes to mind:
It ate him from navel to knees.
--- Armand E Singer 904

On a business trip to D.C.
Jack picked up a case of V.D.
For ten bucks a shot
He was saved from crotch rot --
Changed his style to celibacy.
--- G1908

A certain young cockster named Mitch
Was plagued with an inguinal itch;
The doctors guessed whoring
Or possibly scoring;
They couldn't be really sure which.
--- Armand E Singer 794

Fine girls had old Madame McClure,
Nine nine point nine nine percent pure.
But a fellow named Vance
Picked the wrong one by chance,
And it took him a year for the cure.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1731

There was a young man of Back Bay,
Who thought syphilis just went away,
And felt that a chancre
Was merely a canker
Acquired in lascivious play.

(Luetic - syphilitic)
--- L1075

Now first he got acne vulgaris,
The kind that is rampant in Paris.
It covered his skin
From forehead to shin,
And now people asked where his hair is.
--- L1076

With symptoms increasing in number,
His aorta's in need of a plumber,
His heart is cavorting,
His wife is aborting,
And now he's acquired a gumma.

(gumma - rubbery tumor in tertiary syphilis)
--- L1077

Consider his terrible plight--
His eyes won't react to the light,
His hands are apraxic,
His gait is ataxic,
He's developing gun-barrel sight.

(apraxic - loss of function , ataxic - spinal syphilis )
--- L1078

His passions are strong as before,
But his penis is flaccid and sore.
His wife now has tabes
And sabre-shinned babies--
She's really worse off than a whore.

(tabes - spinal syphilis, see locomotor ataxia)
--- L1079

There are pains in his belly and knees,
His sphincters have gone by degrees,
Paroxysmal incontinence
With all its concomitants,
Brings on quite unpredictable pees.
--- L1080

Though treated in every known way,
His spirochetes grow day by day.
He's developed paresis,
Converses with Jesus,
And thinks he's the Queen of the May.
--- L1081

I suppose you will think I'm sarcastic
About sexual poses too plastic,
But many a fool
Has been led by his tool,
And has ended up syphilitic and spastic.
--- G1952

"Syphilis of the toe," said Doc Myna,
To his friend and colleague, Earl DeLyna.
It's quite clear to me, Earl,
That you've been with the girl
Who came here with Athlete's Vagina."
--- Jim Weaver Collection a

Llewellyn from Wrexham, a Druid,
Had sex with old Bronwen of Clwyd;
But Bronwen had pox
And her overused box
Was awash with old seminal fluid.
--- Peter Wilkins

Old Bronwyn's much visited box,
Indeed, was redolent with pox.
But she said with a grin,
"I still let's 'em in,
And then wipes 'em clean with me socks."
--- Vic Johnson

There was a young man of Cashmere,
Who purchased a fine Bayadere.
He fucked all her toes,
Her mouth, eyes, and her nose,
And eventually poxed her left ear.

(Bayadere - Hindu dancing girl)
--- L1085

Reportedly Burlington Bertie
Cavorted with Gertie at thirty;
But Bertie at forty,
Perverted and naughty,
Deserted unfortunate Gertie.
--- Tiddy Ogg

By fifty old Bert had the pox;
His balls had had too many knocks.
But Gerty was flirty,
Looked about thirty,
And enjoyed a variety of cocks.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A young lady who once had a Jew beau,
Found out soon that he'd got a bubo,
So when it was ripe
She put in a pipe,
And sucked up the juice through a tube oh!

(Published 1870)
--- L0778

A young inexperienced boy
Thought it terribly easy to toy
With his fiancee's box
Till she gave him the pox --
All along she was 'une fille de joie'!
--- Robin K Willoughby P8405

Mrs Baker was known to be wild,
For her husband was built like a child.
Seeking manlier cocks,
She contracted the pox...
It all came to light at the trial.
--- G1968

This is file bym

There once was a girl from far Rockaway,
Whose cunt could be smelled for a block away.
I went down for a sniff,
And came up with the syph,
So I look down and watch my cock rot away.
--- Falcon

The spirochete made the squaw lazy,
A tomato whose first name was Daisy.
Columbus's cook
Took one passionate look.
Al Capone for that reason went crazy.

(Al Capone died of syphillis - McW)
--- A N Wilkins P8811

A bawdy young houri of Tiflis
Gave all of her customers syphilis.
She said, "I intend
To come clean in the end,
But so far I've been mighty damn shiftless."
--- G1960

A horrid old whore of Uttoxeter
Had all the dogs waving their cocks at her.
She'd stuffed up her cunny
With dog-roe and honey,
But it did her not good, for the pox et' her.

(published 1870)
--- G1340

There once was a doorman punctilious,
Whose manner was most supercilious.
He opened the door
For a world-famous whore,
And now has a case of syphilious.
--- G1948

Mommy made up with all of her men.
Her date book is now up to ten.
Dr. Ehrlich's bullet magic
Reversed her story tragic,
So they're all hard and at it again.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0503

The amorous Countess von Kellheim,
Was wondering, "Just how the hell I'm
To cure this damn syph,
That feels just as if
My bottom were lodged in Muspelheim?"
--- Mike Tice

There was a young girl of high station,
Who ruined her fine reputation,
When she said she'd the pox,
From sucking on cocks--
She should really have called it "fellation."
--- L1220

An amorous cowboy named Morse
Confessed to his foreman, "Of course,
You must let me go,
But how could I know
A guy could get syph from a horse!"
--- Armand E Singer 598

He firstly invented mens cocks
And followed with Pandora's Box.
But God is a prick;
He helped out Old Nick,
Creating the Genital Pox!
--- Archie

But if indeed he's a prick,
Then get him an ambulance, quick.
He's covered in pox
From his scalp to his sox --
Indeed, he is God-awful sick!
--- John Miller

Spreading the pox, Cortez sealed the fate
Of the Aztecs. His captain's first mate
Acquired Cupid's Itch
From an Indian bitch,
Thus exchanging the small for the great.

(small pox vs great pox)
--- A N Wilkins P8512a

For Jason, the one panacea
Was to fuck (up the ass) his Medea.
But the germ in her box
Gave the poor man the pox:
It's reported she had a dire rear.
--- G2717

A rank whore, there never was ranker,
Possessed a Hunterian chancre.
But she made an elision
By a transverse incision,
For which all her lovers may thank her.

(Published 1870)(Hunterian chancre - ??,elision - omission)
--- L1116

Poor Phyllis is very distraught,
Because of the symptoms she's got.
The sores on her face
May mean her disgrace,
That's if Phyllis syphillis caught.
--- Irving Superior P8512

I hear Jenna, the tart from Blackpool
Left VD on old Snaggletooth's tool.
He traded his sperm
For an STD germ;
Now he's a syphilitic infected fool.
--- Snagglettooth

I remember how Jenna did praise
All that come that I left on her face;
How she said with a grin
With that sperm on her chin,
"That was truly amazing, that blaze!"
--- Snaggletooth

I may sound like I'm from the old school
But a guy needs a skin on his tool;
When shagging a whore
Who's been shagged before.
It's my number one 'common sense' rule.
--- Snaggletooth

Some syphillic germs in Blackpool
Took off and got in the genepool.
My limbs I have lost,
And my dick (that will cost);
Now I look like a moldy old ghoul.
--- Snaggletooth

A strapping young fellow named Herman,
Had a ring round his prick that was permanent.
All the old docs
Said the ring was the pox,
But he swore it was lipstick or vermin.
--- L1101

There was a young girl of Eutoxeter,
Who sported a tight-fitting baroque sweater.
Her mother cried, "Smart?
You look like a tart."
And flung accusations of pox at her.
--- Stanley J Sharpless

To VD an old man named McClure
Lost his nose, and he said, "I'm quite sure
That I caught it in Hoxie
From this beautiful doxy.
It was worth it, though, simply to screw her."
--- A N Wilkins P8512

"Let me keep you from the night dew,
And I have a surprise for you."
She wasn't suspicious,
So result pernicious
Was lost hymen and syphilis, too.
--- Chris Papa

Some syphillis germs in Blackpool
Gave Jenna a look that's uncool.
Her limbs she did lose,
And her tits and her nose;
Now she looks like a mouldy old ghoul.
--- Anon

A luetic young man from Kentucky
Felt most unappeasably fucky.
He persuaded a dame
Who was halt, blind, and lame;
And, at that, he was damnably lucky.
--- G1926

There was a young girl of Bavaria,
Who thought her disease was malaria.
But the family doc
Remarked, to her shock,
"It is in the mercurial area."
--- L1082

A Greek who came bearing a gift
Left his girlfriend a bit more than miffed;
If she had been wary
Instead of so merry,
Perhaps she would not have been syph'ed.
--- Norm Storer P9210a

His chest is tatooed with an anchor;
His lips are disfigured by chancre --
A gift of a sort
From a girl in this port:
Though he never took trouble to thank her.
--- Laurence Perrine P8512

The poxed-up old Bey of Algiers
Viewed his pecker amidst scalding tears.
And he said to it, "Pete,
You're now nothing but meat,
But you've pleasured me nobly for years."
--- G1895

There was a young lady of Reading,
Who got poxed, and the virus kept spreading.
Her nymphae each day,
Kept sloughing away,
'Till at last you could shove your whole head in.

(Nymphae - labia minor)
--- Cremorne 1882 L1117

Said a veteran cockster named Biff,
"If you want it to keep growing stiff,
Don't ever take risks
With French odalisques: (female slave or concubine)
They will sure as hell leave you with syph."
--- Armand E Singer 574

A Rajah who ruled in Penang
Felt a terrible itch in his whang.
Cried he, "By my life!
I must have a poxed wife!
But which one can she be, in my gang?"
--- G1945

An airline hostess honeybun
Screwed a sore-packered son of a gun.
Now our lovely young sylphess
Is corroded with syphilis,
Till her cunthole and bunghole are one!
--- G1920


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