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A cautious old fucker was Jewett; A bride to be proud of, had Cole, The virile Virginia coal miner Young Chris to a pretty young miss; The boy to his girl proudly crows, Cicatrice? What the hell's that? Young Sara went climbing the tree; A young baton-twirler named Rand A computer programmer, Miss Black This story's about Mary Rickers; There was a young man of Bengal, An erudite traveller named Spurge, (descry - close observation as of a snatch)
To the squalid old harlot of Chester Indecently baring her sex, A homely old lady named Grace Some pussies are rather deplorable, When problems arose, Mr. Scott If you want a young girl to call back An arsonist hailing from Natchez The patient lay down as if dead. A perverse old fellow named Blaine Just butt in when you like, you know This "commando" term's new, say again; There once was an ungly old hag There was a young lady ill treated In the ring, on a horse, doing stunts, As she knelt on her knees in prayer, To the doc went a lady named Reepy; A near sighted fellow named Juba Oh, you Angel, I love to get flashed; You're so naughty! I see in your eyes, You are "taking my picture" - oh, my! How your fragrance, love, French fries my brain! This is sort of what lightning bugs do The priest of a primitive nation, A pious old preacher named Mort The harlot, whose name was Miss Bodim, He stood behind girlies in queues A lady who was not inhibited, Protecting a new hat, Miss drew, An inquisitive bridegroom named Clyde To the girl said old Dr. von Richter, A lexicographer known as Boris, She awoke to rapturous applause, There was a young lady of Ulva, When I was a boy of just ten, Because it's so steamy and hot, Don't think she's aware that I'm looking, There were two brothers named Baird, To his wife said a fellow named Hind, It was clear Sister Gloria Heather, A good Catholic girl wears no patent I notice that Playboy has thought There was an old whore in Times Square Once a young lady from France Could this be the reason that cunts The landlady, kind, gentle-hearted, I hired a housemaid from Nantes; After worst pick up line was booked: A suspicious old man named O'Dare A curious mammal's the beaver; Said a girl TV anchor named Hughes, A woman from the town of Shannon A hot-blooded Spaniard named Neal That cunning old codger named Custer A lonely young midget was Lew;
He said to a harlot, "I'll do it,
If at first, you'll expose
What's between your big toes,
For I know what I want when I view it.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1555
For he felt he achieved his life's goal.
But he cried in despair
When he viewed her crotch bare --
Someone ate it and left a big hole.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0424
Placed his eye near his girlfriend's vagina.
In the midst of the action
With a mighty contraction,
She gave the fine miner a shiner.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0203
"Bet you ain't got a thingy like this."
"No, I ain't, I admits,
But with this (and my tits),
I'll get thousands of those, little Chris."
--- Anon
"Here's something that you don't have, Rose."
"That's true," said the miss,
"But just look at this.
And with this, I can get lots of those."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9409a
"A scar", says a know-all young brat.
But in context thus,
I think that it must
Undoubtedly mean Mary's twat.
--- Q
Said it was a dare from li'l Mikey.
"Sara," said Mom,
"He's a peeping tom;
He's trying to see your pussy."
--- Anon
Had itched as she marched in the band.
So she took off her britches
And she scratched all her itches,
And corrupted the youth of the land.
--- Albin Chaplin
Fell in love with her new UNIVAC.
She had hopes to get laid
So her cunt was displayed,
But it counted the hairs on her crack.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1954
This chick wore mini skirts, but no knickers.
But now comes the surprise;
To ward off prying eyes,
She covered her wares with some stickers.
--- Dirruk
Who went to a fancy-dress ball.
Just for a whim, (Just for a stunt,
He dressed up as a quim, (He dressed up as a cunt)
And was had by a dog in the hall.
--- Norman Douglas L0579
With an anthropological urge,
Climbed up on a black
To descry in a crack,
Where the East and the West converge.
--- Gents Alphabet Book P9610
Said the man as he kissed and undressed her,
"In your cunt down between
It looks perfectly clean.
Do you have an old sore that does fester?"
--- Al Chaplin P8507
An overripe filly named Mex
Remarked with a leer,
It draws the men near,
So a fellow's a cinch to annex...
--- Grand Prix Lim 404
Had plenty of dates at her place.
She was classed as first rate
For she'd greet a new date
With her dress pulled up over her face.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0179
While others are very adorable;
But while this is true,
From my point of view,
All pussies are surely explorable!
--- Anon
All day with great effort gave thought.
But with simple precision,
He would make a decision
When he came face to face with a twat.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2286
It is best to display gentle knack.
Above all, the first night
Do not squeeze her too tight,
Lest you find that you might feel her crack.
--- Albin Chaplin
Had a fetish for peeping at snatches.
To fulfill his desires
To view snatches with fires,
He ignited some snatches with matches.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P8708
Said the surgeon, "My knife I'll imbed
And the brain will be saved
For this patient depraved."
And the cunts flew in streams from his head.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2009
Spoke only of whores he had lain.
So when he was dead,
They opened his head,
And the cunts flew in streams from his brain.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1955
Your exhaltation boosts my ego.
I'd boost "you", I guess,
As you look up my dress
And you see that I go "commando".
--- Anon
And my memory does go way back when;
In this state, my dear pet
Wants Marines I will bet;
She could use a few really good men!
--- Anon
Who was dying to have a good shag,
So she lay in the streeet,
With her pants at her feet
And her head in a brown paper bag.
--- Michael Horgan
By men who would date and retreated.
For they said, with a start,
When her legs spread apart,
"If you call that a cunt, I will eat it!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0481
Were two women, exposing their cunts.
The hot dog concession
Then suffered recession.
The manager was a big dunce!
--- John Dohner P8801
She felt something hard under there.
Good old Brother Bub
With his cane gave a rub
To her snatch, Oh Yes! It was bare!
--- Faerie
Her eyes and her nose were all weepy.
Said the doctor serene,
Your asshole looks clean,
Now let's have a look at your peepee.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1895
Was playing a piece on his tuba,
When across on the floor
Without pants walked a whore,
"Say Fidel," he said, "why'd you leave Cuba?"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0494
Yes, Hell yes, whether sober or smashed;
When you sit, not too far,
And your legs drift ajar,
My poor eyeballs bug out, unabashed!
--- Q
Babe, you dare me to gaze 'tween your thighs!
Ain't no threads, love, down there,
Just red hair! As I stare,
My poor brain shrinks to golf-ball in size!
--- Q
Makes me lust for a bit of "hair pie".
As my mandibles quiver,
And innards do shiver,
You smile when I cover my fly!
--- Q
Wild and musky, it's pulling my chain!
Sight and scent choke my breath;
Make me groan a small death,
As my intellect spurts down the drain!
--- Q
This is file bel
Warm June evenings; they flash ring-dang-doo;
'Tis their signal to start.
And here's ours, my dear tart:
Saddle up, babe, we're long overdue!
--- Q
In the midst of a long incantation,
Went into a spell,
And started to tell
Of his wife's magical indentation.
--- Bob Birch P9804
Deplored all the ladies of sport.
He rebuked a young maid
Who was plying her trade,
For not having a means of support
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1614
Had not thought to taunt or to goad him.
She advised Preacher Mort
She had means of support,
And she lowered her panties and showed him.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1615
With mirrors attached to his shoes;
A quick glance at the floor
He could see what they wore
Up their skirts. (A true snippet of news.)
--- Anon
Her asshole and pussy exhibited
To all manner of jokers
Who attended her smokers,
But you lads without dads were prohibited.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2124
Hung on as the wind blew and blew.
Said, "What you see down below
Is quite old, don't you know.
What you see on my head is brand new!"
--- Clarence E Boyle P8412
Tried hard to look up in his bride.
He cried, "Dammit! Cunts
Get small all at once,
But they certainly start plenty wide."
--- G0297
"Mitt your fingers please spread out your stricture,
To find vy iss sore;
I must schtudy zum more,
And for dis, I need full-color picture."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2260
Was fondling his sweetheart's clitoris.
Said he, "No words have I
To describe such hair pie;
For that, I will need my thesaurus."
--- Raging Bull
To find she was not wearing drawers.
While enquiring "Please why's..."
The man lowered his eyes,
And she spotted the obvious cause.
--- Anon
Whose boyfriend said, "Look I will pulva-
Rize any of you blokes
Who will try to make jokes
Concerning my Ulva girl's vulva."
--- Stanley J Sharpless
I picked up some paper and pen,
And I drew you know what,
'Twas a girl with no twat,
'Cause I still hadn't seen one back then.
--- Bob Birch
I admit I'm not wearing a lot;
As I write, this young Dawn
Is stretched out on my lawn,
And I can't keep my eyes off her twat.
--- Anon
Or what (in my shorts) may be cooking;
But hell, if she knows
What she does to my hose,
She'll be in for a helluva fooking.
--- Anon
Who thought all things should be shared.
With teats, which are two,
Their arrangement would do,
But with cunts, which is one, 'twas absurd.
--- G0245
"When we fuck in the dark, it's a grind.
Though you may get delight,
Yet a cunt out of sight
You will find is a cunt out of mind."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0194
Abhorred the change into spring weather,
Saying, "Girls, be alert!
A clear view up your skirt
Can reflect from shoes of patent leather."
--- Loren Fitzhugh
Leather shoes 'cause they know the intent
Will cause an erection
Upon spying reflection
On boys who's cocks easily are bent.
--- Anon
That cunt hair won't leave folks distraught,
So they've shown a bouquet.
But I wait for the day
When the cover displays a full twat.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2332
Who went 'round with her genitals bare.
But the Union said, "Stop!
You can't keep open shop.
We consider the practice unfair."
--- G1875
Performed a peculiar dance.
She twirled all around;
Her panties fell down;
And gave all the boys a quick glance!
--- Anon
Run the gamut from giants to runts;
Wide gaping/tight closed,
Clits hidden/exposed,
But aesthetically usually affronts?
--- Anon
Would wait till her husband departed.
Then she'd treat her new roomer
With a peak 'neath her bloomer,
Which explains how the roomer got started.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0167
She does all the cleaning sans panties.
When she picked up the trash,
I looked at her gash;
Now all her sister are aunties.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"Do you smoke after sex?", She looked.
Chagrined at the Schmo,
Said, "Gee, I don't know.
Afterwards I've never looked!"
--- Daniel Ford
Examined his wife's pubic hair,
But he sneezed in her twat,
And he found he could not
Tell the snot from the sperm that was there.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2215
Known often to give men the fever.
A taste to be trying
But there's no damn denying,
It looks to be split by a cleaver!
--- Anon
"My device to boost ratings can't lose!
While a news flash is hot,
It is taped to my twat,
And each night, I'm there spreading the news."
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Was grinning while rapidly fannin'
Away heat from her twat.
Just then a thought,
Turning over, her ass needed tannin'.
--- Anon
Made all his young servants reveal
Their parted pundenda
In his hacienda,
Then promptly would screw them with zeal!
--- Armand E Singer 195
Would make the maids feel all a-fluster,
For the lecherous flirt
Would lift up a skirt,
And tickle the quim with a duster.
--- Michael Horgan
He met a tall girl in Peru.
When he stood on his toes,
Twat came to his nose.
He had someone, he said, to talk to.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0517
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