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A TV repairman undaunted Old Marge raised her curtains last night His wife had enough, called the fuzz, So pleased was that lady named Pyle, A discerning young fellow named Sy, There was a Russian named Boris, A horny old spinster named Brook I have a good friend, Dirty Gertie. The madam advised Mr. Perkins There was a young gal from Brazil, A floozie-type filly named Flo Young Annabel, barely sixteen, Then moaning in ecstasy, nudged Since I am a red-blooded guy, The smudged ones are classic editions Said the Dad, to a suitor who seeked There once was a man in a punt My dear, ma cherie, let us couch. Most fellows do love to be flashed; You are naughty! I see in your eyes, You are "taking my picture" -- oh my! When you sat, it was suddenly plain This is sort of what lightning bugs do; Let me stick my hand in your bush -- The Bermuda Triangle, I think, Wrote pollster George Billingsly Blaine: There was a young lady from Flushing; The boldness that I now discover There once was a coach they called Lance, The wind caught the dress of Miss Rand, My brother's new wife's name of Dawn; The night was almost gone; A cunt is a thing of great beauty, Said a pretty young whore of Hong Kong, While she lies on her back, legs asunder, In Maryland, there is a honey At the Circus, the midget named Pine, Sue said to her neighbor's young son, A vagina, the organ of Venus, Your golden ponanny, I'll woo; When Katie is not celibate, "My goodness! Your pussy is gorgeous! One day at the beach, it was sunny. O, my love's a bonnie red rose There once was a maid from Morocco, There were two young brothers named Pakenham, A Maiden from the South of France The ex of Miss North Carolina Though the area denoted as pubic, A posh girl namaed Tabitha Vickers, When she sat down, I started to watch; A comely masseuse known as Nancy In a flat just north of Delancey.
Mighty proud of her snatch was Miss Datchett. Cold weather, when it's in the minuses, For sinus relief from Miss Powell, Across from me Katherine sits Limericks are often quite cute, An outrageous young lady named Kyle A girl with magnificent tits, A curious thing, the vagina; On the table I do pound and beat! The planets most beautiful cunt I once knew a nice girl from Spain A well-built young girl of Fort Knox, Without panties went Kate somewhat late, The panties of old spinster Tweek Our office "girl" was, if you please,
Tuned in on the lady who taunted;
When he saw her crotch bare
He exclaimed in despair,
"Why this can't be the channel I wanted!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0634
And gave her new neighbor a sight;
With her long legs spread
Right there on her bed,
She showed him what used to be tight.
--- Travis Brasell
Because her dear husband, he was
Spilling all his seed
While drooling, indeed,
As horny Old Marge got a buzz.
--- Anon
When a Boy Scout assisted in style,
She inquired, "In what way
Can I brighten your day?"
He said, "Flash me that vertical smile!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0166
Paused to look at a young maiden's thigh.
And he said with a grunt,
"There is more to a cunt,
That you ever can see with the eye."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2326
Who led the Moscow Girls Chorus.
He laid the sopranos
On many pianos;
His aim, a collection of clitoris'.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was undressed in the park by a crook.
She said, "Fuck if you will;
I'll lie perfectly still."
But he said he just wanted to look.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1974
She's ribald and talks kind of dirty.
When she sits on a chair,
Her skirt's up to THERE,
And then she says, "Boys, watch the birdie!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
That she thoroughly scrutinized gherkins.
But he refused to expose
Between his big toes,
Till she likewise displayed her own workin's.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1627
Who sat every day on the sill.
And all men would stare,
At her dark pubic hair,
With fingers in up to the hilt.
--- Anon
Will do any damn thing that pays dough.
Offer her enough salary,
And she'd pose in a gallery
With her legs spread as wide as they go.
--- G1788
Sat in manner exceedingly obscene,
With her thighs opened wide,
And sans panties, astride
And a-straddle the Xerox machine.
--- Peter Wilkins
Her sweet button (and "Start") for she judged
She'd have orgasms plenty...
Sure enough, after twenty,
The next thousand copies were smudged.
--- Peter Wilkins
Who boffs chicks and never asks "Why?"
I'll spend my good cash
On Annebel's trash;
'Tis the smudged copies I want to buy.
--- Travis Brasell
And hung in the Louvre near the Titians,
But Annabel says
If you don't want high-res
Pics she'll happily take on commissions.
--- Anon
To marry his daughter that week;
"My girl's flaw ain't too minor;
It's Acute Angina."
"I know," said the suitor, "I've peeked!"
--- Jeffrey L Lorentz
Who said "What a beautiful cunt!"
And the horny young lass
Then bared her sweet ass,
And said "You can have all you want!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Perhaps on all-fours you would crouch.
With your belle derriere
Up-thrusting in air,
I could glimpse that pink rose, your love pouch!
--- Tutta Gioia
As for me, that's quite true when I'm smashed.
When you sit at the bar,
Legs by chance, quite ajar,
I will take it all in, unabashed.
--- Allen Wolverton
That you dare me to peek 'tween your thighs!
I will drool and I'll stare
At the treasures down there,
Be they lacies, soft curlies, or flies!
--- Allen Wolverton
Makes me lust for a piece of 'hair pie'.
As my mandibles quiver,
And my innards shiver,
You smile when I cover my fly!
--- Allen Wolverton
That my intellect's gone down the drain.
I was struck out of breath;
My voice had a small death.
Your Heaven's Gate wipe out my brain!
--- Allen Wolverton
Warm summer evenings, they flash ring-dang-doo;
'Tis their signal to start
And here's ours, dear heart;
Saddle up, babe, we're long overdue!
--- Allen Wolverton
Come now, my darling, don't push!
I'll capture your bird
'Cause, sweetheart, my word!
You have such a beautiful tush!
--- Marlene Lewis
Is dangerous clear to its brink.
But seeing it bare
In a young lady's hair,
It's the place where I'd most like to sink!
--- Lance Payne P8601
"Most men prefer sex in the main;
A male referendum
Ranked parted pundendum
Far higher than booze or cocaine."
--- Armand E Singer 196a
Her manner was girlish and gushing;
When she stood on her head
In her nightie, she said:
"You can't seem my face but I'm blushing!"
--- Travis Brasell
In Playboy -- I may not recover.
For they show pubic hair --
But I fear they don't dare
To display a bouquet on the cover.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2017
Who never left winning to chance.
His cheerleaders had knockers
They'd shake at the blockers,
And then cartwheel while wearing no pants.
--- Bob Birch P0900
Exposing her organ so grand.
A young man saw her plight
And set matters aright,
When he covered her snatch with his hand.
--- Albin Chaplin
She's cute -- innocent as a fawn.
But I'm here to say
Each and every day,
He woke up at the real crack of Dawn.
--- Anon
I opened my eyes with a yawn.
I was quite amazed
With her thighs on my face;
I was seeing the crack of Dawn.
--- VOL 7 a
When viewed in the crotch of a cutie.
But the same cunt's a bust
And is viewed with disgust,
When the lady is homely and fruity.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0394
This is file bdl
To a long-pronged patron named Wong,
"They say my vagina's
The nicest in China,
Don't ruin it by donging it wrong!"
--- L1019
Her crack is an object of wonder.
She shows it to me,
Being Aussie, you see,
'Cause she know that I like it down under.
--- Michael Horgan
Who spreads her cute cunt when it's sunny,
Or snowing or raining;
The scent has guys straining
To give her a lick, boff, and money!
--- Travis Brasell
Married the fat lady Maude Hine.
And that night full of glee,
He cried, "Holy Gee!
Enough for ten men and all mine!"
--- Clarence E Boyle P8711
"Would you take my dog Rex for a run?"
He said, "Any day
With your dog I would play;
With your pussy I'd have much more fun."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0410
Looks soft and inviting between us.
But that's enough looking
Get on with the fucking,
Wishing fucking good luck to our genus.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Gold is rare in a ring-a-dang doo.
How the sight makes me choke;
I'll still gently stroke;
All evening, I'll croon to it, too.
--- Allen Wolverton
She knows the way to celebrate.
She does split handstandies
Without any panties,
And shouts out loud, "I'm feeling great!"
--- Archie
Let me gaze at it a little more -- just!
Spread your legs in the air
And I will just stare,
And I promise I won't cause any more fuss."
--- John Chastaine
Lying down was a curvy beach bunny.
Her swimsuit, cut high,
Revealed lots of thigh,
And I spied just the edge of her cunny.
--- Al Willis TP9806
Newly sprung from her dropped panty-hose...
Her petals be-dewed
Arouse me when viewed,
In that florescent labial pose.
--- Anon
Who dated a sex freak named Paco.
He said, "Wait here please,
I need lettuce and cheese,
'Cause your snatch looks just like a taco!"
--- Anon
Intrigued by the way girls were stackin' 'em.
But a girl got them hot
By exposing her twat,
So they unzipped their flies to start whackin' 'em.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1888
Traveled occasionally without her pants.
When walking and talking,
All about her were gawking;
The men were all thinking "Romance."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Has pics of her boobs and vagina.
He wanted a fortune
Obtained by extortion;
He ought to be kicked clear to China.
--- Dr Limerick 09-08-02
Doesn't take so much space in the cubic,
It's a double-dyed cinch
It gets more interest per inch,
From all but the prudes and cherubic.
--- Grand Prix Lim 774
Wore her fur coat without any knickers.
Her soft furry mink
Caused young men to wink,
And ask if she'd like them to lick 'ers.
--- Jayne
My eyes went direct to her crotch.
I spied her enchanties,
For she wore no panties,
And the view, I must say, was topnotch!
--- Al Willis
Was struck by a lewd passing fancy.
She lubed up with hot oil,
Brought herself to a boil,
All the while wearing no pantsy,
--- Big Little Playoy Lims
For hours she would just sit and scratch it,
And say with a smile,
"It has tone, it has style;
There ain't many snatches to match it."
--- G0305
Is hell on a guy's aging sinuses;
If you need a spot
To keep your nose hot,
A twat's the best place; at least Dinah's is.
--- Anon
I covers me head with a towel.
My breathing improves
With her pelvis moves,
Unleashing the steam from her bowel.
--- Anon
With her dusky brown body and tits.
She has long brunette hair,
Golden thighs and just there
(As a contrast) pink labial bits.
--- Peter Wilkins
Mention parts other rhymes do not suit.
For bollocks and titties
Don't fit other ditties,
Which reminds me, your quim is a beaut!
--- Prof M-G
Likes to flirt in a whimsical style:
She'll depanty, it's said,
And then stand on her head,
To display her most quimsical smile.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
When dancing would wiggle her hips.
A wonderful flirt,
She'd lift up her skirt
And exhibit her sensuous lips.
--- Bertie
Besides being a lovely recliner,
It has lips that don't talk,
And goes 'squish' when you walk,
But I can't think of anything finer!
--- Lims For Year - 01
I drool! This sight is so sweet!
She makes my prick stir,
By "taking my picture";
Mons veneris teases my meat!
--- Anon
Adorns the world's ungliest runt.
But Oh, she seem fair
When you cock is in there,
And only when spent are you stunned.
--- Hendrik van Oordt
Whose knickers got wet in the rain.
For wearing so little,
And the water's transmittal,
I thanked her again and again.
--- C M
Was rugged and strong as an ox.
When she wrestled, fans booed
For her wrestling was crude,
But they all loved to look at her box.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2061
To the cat show where entries were great.
There were three judges wise,
And they gave the first prize
To the pink pussy shown there by Kate.
--- Albin Chaplin
Dropped down in a mishap unique.
At a twat exhibition,
'Twas judged mint condition
And it won the first prize for antique.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1399
Promoted with promptness and ease.
She straddled her box
Atop the Xerox
And sent copies to all the VP's.
--- Richard E Buenger P8209
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