MORE
When I finally spread all the hair, An expert well-digger named Pflugge I sing of a husband from Ghent There was a young maid of Costanza, There's Olga Bicardi who prides There was a young lady named Liston, A frustrated lover named Snyder Said a man to a girl in Orillia, Abreast of the times, our Miss Twitter, There was a young lady named Witt It's true, dear old dad did like sister; At the brothel, explorer McBride Though she hadn't the tenth of a dollar, There was a young lady named Kitchener, Three fingers and thumb, what a shame! "My god you're so slack and so loose! A young lass offered ass to MacNeal There once was a coed from State There was a young maiden from Osset, "I'm more than the average size," "Why sure, I stuff bottles up there. Madge had a vadge all a-gape, If double D is the size of your mound, Asked a man of a girl named Elaine: Getting Cheryl to shed her apparel Enormous great flaps had our Dot; "With my bride, I'm fed up", said old Snyder. The ship had tied up at the docks, But one lad on the deck still did sit. "Look lad," said the skipper, "on top You know not the word "bollards", Hugh? I re-read 'bout Lucy last night; Oh bollard! is that what he hollered? There once was a lady from Ryde This capacious young lady from Ryde A few months ago I admit But now it's like screwing a moose; Come on now guy, no need to take flight; This is how you make a loose screw tight; Perhaps the wrong hole you counter sunk. A lecherous midget named Tim Now Tim was lost in her snatch; There were tubular veggies galore, Now Tim's match went out long before Now I shall pick up the pace; A student by the name of Steen, There once was a man from L.A. The cunt of girl named McLouth This girls snatch was so large, There once was a man from Nantucket, In the cunt of a girl named Cahalan, A roomy old lady named Fanchion "What a hole! What a hole!" said the gyno, Hung Lo. From hearing the boasts that they utter, In the cunt of old baroness Kropp, There was a young girl of Pawtucket, There was an old person of Gretna, Though Pearl's now exhausted and worn, A notice she's pinned on the fence A few lonely guys have applied 'Twas ten inches long and she found For certain, young Pearl is no fool "For upper-class ladies, well bred," Good heavens! I have to confess For truth is, I once knew a girl But back to the matter at hand -- Alas, she felt nothing inside,
And poke my pecker in there,
Ain't much of a ride
When I can't feel the side.
Might as well be fucking air.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Wed a girl with a cunt like a jug.
He noted the size
Of the hole in her thighs,
Was the same as the last well he dug.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0578
Whose wife had a twat like a tent;
He'd moan, coo, and flirt,
Before he'd insert,
But never felt sure where it went.
--- Armand Singer
And her box was as big as Bonanza.
It was nine inches deep
And the sides were quite steep.
It had whiskers like General Carranza's.
--- L0178
Herself that no man's touched the sides,
So me and my horse
Grabbed her in the gorse;
Now she don't have legs, she has wides!
--- Anon
Whose cunt was as big as a piston.
But an able mechanic,
Who was not one to panic,
Fucked her twice with his foot and his fist in.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0645
Would grouse to his girl as he'd ride her,
"Whenever we sin
I can't keep it in;
I wish you were deeper, not wider."
--- Armand E Singer 451a
"I am sure my big dong will not kill ya'.
But she showed him her size
And he cried in surprise.
"I'm afraid my poor dong will not fill ya'."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0568
Has a torrid career as a titter.
Her magnificent dugs
Lure to bed endless lugs,
To a twathole so vast, few can fit her.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose cunt was a fifteen-inch slit.
It seemed like a sin,
When you laid your jock in,
That the hole should reach up to her tit.
--- G0493
She can suck off your cock till you blister.
She learned how to swallow,
'Cause her pussys a wallow,
Ever since she let George Forman fist her.
--- Anon
Selected a girl almond-eyed.
When he lifted her dress
He exclaimed, "What a mess!
I have just seen the Greater Divide!"
--- Albin Chaplin
An old harlot for taxis did holler.
She tried raising her skirt,
And a cab did alert,
But he asked if she had something smaller.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0436
Who had a most terrible itch in her.
A lad offered relief,
But he ran like a thief
When he saw the great size of the ditch in her.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1570
Only your wife is to blame!
Plastic bottles are better,
But get slippery when wetter,
And will get lost, never seen again!
--- Anon
I've seen tighter vaginas on moose."
"It began", said poor Dot all
Ashamed, "With a bottle;
Got hooked; now it's magnum abuse."
--- Peter Wilkins
And her panties she dropped for a feel.
When he saw the great wound,
He exclaimed as he swooned,
"My God! Do you think it will heal?"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0527
Who had the desire to mate.
When her skirt would flutter,
The boys they would shudder;
She had, not a box, but a crate.
--- G0458
Whose quim was nine inches across it.
Said a young man named Tong,
With tool nine inches long,
"I'll put bugger-in if I loss it."
--- L0209
Said Jim as he opened her thighs,
"But Jesus! you're wide;
Like a cavern inside.
You stuff bottles up there, I surmise."
--- Peter Wilkins
And baseball bats too, I declare.
And barbecue sauce,
Covered marrows, of course,
Which I force up my sweet derriere."
--- Peter Wilkins
Inchoate, amorphous, no shape.
She did what she could
Using shims of teak-wood,
Which she bunged home and bound with duct tape.
--- Anon
Even Paul Bunyan won't pound.
I'm sure it would echo
Could be used as "Art Deco"
But not used for fooling around.
--- Rodney Williams
"With how many men have you lain?
I have slipped into bores
Of some hundreds, but yours --
Looks like armies have used it to train."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0439
Is like shooting goldfish in a barrel.
But her genital area
Is so vast it'll scare ya,
And you venture inside at your peril.
--- Grand Prix Lim 116 G0238
Every minute or so she would squat;
For she needed the rest
From the weight she possessed
Hanging down to her knees from her twat.
--- Anon
"As a bride, she was fun when astride her.
At first, I'll admit
There was a very small slit,
But at present, the split is much wider."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0337
And the seamen all polished their cocks.
They scrambled ashore
In search of a whore,
Who would readily open her box.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Said the Captain: "You don't want a bit?"
"It's the size of my dick;
It's so bloody thick,
That I can't find a girl it will fit."
--- Tiddy Ogg
Of that bollard is sitting a pop-
Sy. Hey Lucy dear,
I've a customer here."
She got up with an audible pop!
--- Tiddy Ogg
An erudite man such as you?
'Tis a boat hitching post,
Two foot wide, or almost,
On which my friend Lucy would screw.
--- Anon
My God, she has given a fright
To all the old salts,
For one of her faults
Relates to the fact, she's not tight!
--- Anon
I'm clearly dyslecix. It's follered,
That with Lucy so large,
She won't mind if you barge
Right ahead and suggest it be swallered.
--- Anon
This is file arl
Whose cunt was so shallow and wide,
Her kitty named Chaucer,
Drank milk from a saucer,
With morsels of cheese on the side.
--- H Welchel
At last was to be someone's bride...
But woe to the groom
When she said she had room
To handle ten cocks with great pride.
--- TuttaGioia
That I couldn't get enough of Kate's slit.
I would hump every night
In ecstatic delight,
At her firmness and tightness of fit.
--- Anon
There's no friction at all; it's so loose.
Though still horny and ravenous;
Shit! Is she cavernous?
Time to move on and vamoose.
--- Anon
Two woodworking tips, try them tonight.
A word of caution friend,
My tools, I never lend.
If these don't do it, beat feet in fright
--- Anon
Give it a try; Then it will fit right.
To shrink a big cranny,
Alum; by the fanny.
Just like new. Your screwing will take might.
--- Anon
Or was the wood too hard? Yeah right. Bunk!
You may need something slick;
KY does the trick.
Just be careful for counter boar funk.
--- Anon
Liked to sneak up and lick him some quim.
'Til he went after Dot
Who decided to squat,
And her cavernous quim swallowed him!
--- Anon
It was dark so he reached for a match.
And when it was lit
He yelled "Holy shit",
For he saw all that Dot's twat could catch.
--- Anon
Enough to open a store;
Plus bottles of beer
And sausages here,
And in back, Tim saw a door.
--- Anon
He opened and entered the door;
So Tim couldn't see
All the shit literally,
Covering the walls and the floor.
--- Anon
Tim lit one more match in this place,
Which ignited the gas
That Dot had not passed,
Launching lecherous Tim into space.
--- Anon
Had the biggest snatch I've ever seen;
Fucking two dozen Danes,
The occasional plane,
And even a big submarine.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who banged his girl every day.
His dick lost its charm,
So he stuck in his arm,
And crammed it in all the way.
--- Umpty Scratch TP9804
Stretched right from her ass to her mouth.
Her boyfriend, impressed,
Spread her arms East and West,
And fucked from the North to the South.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0539
It had room for ten men and a barge!
She could do all the men,
Then come back again
And give them all head with no charge!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose wife had a cunt like a bucket.
So given the size
Of her womanly prize,
There wasn't much use to fuck it.
--- Glenn Peterson
You could insert a broom and a pail in.
Said her husband, "We're through.
And he married anew,
To a girl with a space for a whale in.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0412
Was fucked by a man in her mansion.
He said, "You've a womb
Which is big as Grant's Tomb,
And there seems to be room for expansion."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0440
"Well you don't have to say it all twice, don't you know!"
"Woman, you've gotten fatter,
But the fact of the matter,
I didn't, the second time was an echo."
--- Frosty
The state of their mate's hairy gutter,
Has been stretched so wide
That they echo inside,
And they're like the black hole of Calcutta.
--- Tiddy Ogg
There was space for a broom and a mop.
A butcher named Tucker
Attempted to fuck her,
But he needed a ham for a prop.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0510
Whose cunt was as big as a bucket.
Her boyfriend said, "Toots,
I'll have to wear boots,
For I see I must muck it, not fuck it."
--- L0212z
Who rushed down the crater of Etna.
He said, "It's uncanny!
It's just like my wife's cranny,
An image that's burned in my retina."
--- Edwardian Leer 054 P9306
And her cunt is all tattered and torn,
She still yearns for the throb
Of a masculine knob;
Or more likely a stallion's horn.
--- Peter Wilkins
'Round her garden, is offering gents
Near unlimited sex...
In return she expects
That their dongs will be fucking immense.
--- Peter Wilkins
And she's gratefully let them inside;
But the one with the dong
Twice as 'round as was long,
Was the only one near enough wide.
--- Peter Wilkins
It 20 pi inches all 'round.
(An intelligent girl
Is insatiable Pearl,
And she's kept all her faculties sound.)
--- Peter Wilkins
When assessing the size of a tool;
She acquired all her knowledge
At Cheltenham College;
A sort of St. Trinian's school.
--- Peter Wilkins
Said Miss Spottiswoode-Fritton, the head,
When the cops interviewed
Her last week in the nude,
While cavorting around on her bed.
--- Peter Wilkins
I remember my utter distress
When I kissed my first shady
Young Cheltenham Lady
And near caused a mess on her dress.
--- Peter Wilkins
From that Cheltenham College, a pearl
Who was gorgeously cuddly
And made me feel studly --
The daughter, I think, of an earl.
--- Peter Wilkins
What of Pearl and that gentleman's gland?
Well, they took up position
And started coition
As soon as he came to a stand.
--- Peter Wilkins
(Nor did he) although both of them tried
From the back and the front,
For her cavernous cunt
Was so fucking enormously wide.
--- Peter Wilkins
MORE