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Poor Pearl, now in utter despair, The patients who come to Doc Pete, Your pussy by fook...a whole fleet... A novice young fellow named Jack When the captain went out with Miss Toal, Heather, that nasty young troll It isn't worth gettin the hots I thought, Pete, that was a foul slur, Me Grandmother knows about Marge Since you are in up to your neck, There was a young damsel named Baker, There once was a woman named Shannon (Dannon - brand of yogurt)
So big was the cunt of Miss Sears, The whores of Lahore are a bore; An old hooker from downtown Port Said, There was a young lady named Hooten, An intrepid explorer named Prater There's a very old flutist from Butte There was a young girl named Llewellyn, Cape Horn and the Straits of Magellan.
I'm dying to meet Shirley Knott, To bed went a baker of Crete A girl known as Deborah Scott I recall a young lady of Laramie Denying she's ever been kissed Although John many wild seeds had sown, There once was a whore from Regina, A lady from far Chillinggollar An old Pole rode his cart through the woods The thieves searched the cart and were vexed. "Alas," said the Pole in dismay. The daughter said, "Father, so what. Though left with a worthwhile resource, And then there's Miss Muriel Farrow, "Good Lord," said the doc to Miss Faulk, "No wonder you cannot sit down, These ladies all pale before Helen She had a commodious cunt, She wandered around plenty long, There was an old coal miner Hamp There was a young barmaid named Gwen A mathematician named Shaw So big was the cunt of Miss Shutes The cunt of a harlot named Shutes I do wish you'd listen, my dear; With a telephone pole, Mr. Bream In Atlantis, new video depravity, A commodious maid from McBride My goodness! Your pussy is gorgeous! There was a lean man with a beard, "I wonder what happened to Ron?" There once was a girl from Carolina, "So large is your vagina," he exclaimed Said a man to a lady of sin, The fat woman's lover was strumming I once screwed a whore with a twat There was this girl, Tina Modotto, You'd best get a strong rope, no doubt; A lady from lower New Hyde, In the case of a lady name Frost, When dating a lady, young Jack A wanton old tart of Peru At the whorehouse, Explorer MacFrost There was a young writer called Jim, There was an old whore from Arvider We warned Herman about that big quim, There once was a liar from Dove,
Phoned her doctor for help, I declare.
You may ask how I know,
I'm her doctor and so
I'll examine her privately there.
--- Peter Wilkins
Do so knowing I'm always discreet.
Now Pearl let me look
Up her pussy...by fook
You could harbor up there a whole fleet.
--- Peter Wilkins
Up there a whole...far from petite.
Up here...let me look
A whole fare from...by fook
But that echo...that echo...is neat.
--- Peter Wilkins
The knowledge of fucking did lack.
An old maid tried to teach him
But she never could reach him,
For it seems that he fell through the crack.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2129
He fell to his knees in her hole;
And he struggled in vain
On the tricky terrain.
"I have foundered," he said, "on a shoal!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0630
Owned an abnormally large hole.
Her twat was so wide,
Into it I could slide
Four fingers and a telphone pole.
--- Anon
For girls in Nottingham, Notts,
Unless you've a dong
Twice as wide as its long;
For they've slacker than average twats.
--- Peter Wilkins
On Nottingham girls, you low cur.
I figured I'd test
This out, with the best --
Young Marge -- now my head's stuck in her.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And how she's exceedingly large;
She asks if you'd mind
Looking 'round till you find
Me old grandfather's sea-going barge.
--- Peter Wilkins
In Marge's big pussy, please check
To see if I should
Replace all the wood
I use when I built that damn deck.
--- Travis
Who was poked in a pew by a quaker.
He yelled, "My God, What
Do you call this, a twat?
Why the entrance is more than an acre!"
--- L0128
Whose cunt was a big as a cannon.
I heard a great slurp
And a massive burp,
As she sat on a cup full of Dannon.
--- Mad Mike
That it thrilled a young man, it appears.
In amazement he said,
"May I stick in the head?"
She said, "Yes sir, but just to the ears."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0613
So many have been there before.
They're now unappealing;
A man gets more feeling,
By fucking an open barn door.
--- Anon
Had a twat incredibly wide.
You may think it banal.
But the Suez Canal
Was realy quite tiny beside.
--- Anon
Whose cunt you could put your whole foot in.
So her husband divorced her,
And married a worst her,
With a cunt that an oak-tree could root in.
--- Anon
Tried screwing a girl from Decatur.
He was worldly and wise
But exclaimed in surprise,
"I believe I am lost in this crater."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0585
With a snatch that's in no way minute.
There's room for her lover's
Balls, prick, the bed covers,
Plus some leftover space for her flute.
--- Armand E Singer 292
Whose teats were as big as a melon.
Her teats were large, true,
Her cunt was large, too,
Like a hand-painted oil, colored, aerial view of
--- L0188
The girl with the generous twat,
Which could take, in its prime,
Several tools at a time--
But the Pontypool pack? Surely not!
--- Michael Horgan
With a girl that he found in the street.
"My God!" said the Baker,
"It's more than an acre!"
So she offered her asshole petite.
--- Albin Chaplin
Likes genitals rigid and hot.
Her cunt is so large,
It would take a whole barge
Full of peckers to fill up her twat.
--- Peter Wilkins
Who insisted she wanted to marry me,
But I fled in disgrace,
For her vaginal space
Would have needed some two or three pair of me.
--- Keith MacMillan A127A
Does make a Gal hard to resist.
But when the guy rides
And can't touch the sides,
You take it from me, he'll be pissed!
--- SFA
He was shocked when he tried fucking Joan.
There was room in her slue
For a truck to drive through.
He went off -- but felt strangely alone.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0343
Who had a stupendous vagina.
To save a long line,
She had six at a time,
And another one working behind her.
--- Anon
Had a twat like an out-sized horse-collar.
She charged folks a cent
For a view of the vent,
But everything else cost a dollar.
--- Robust Ribald Rude P9703
And encountered some thieving young hoods.
Said the Pole, "Let us be
For my daughter and me
Are poor and we carry no goods."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0643
They found nothing, and stood there perplexed.
Since no booty was there
In utter despair,
The horse and the cart they annexed.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0644
"My fortune was hid there away
In the cart 'neath the seat
In a hiding place neat.
Now my fortune is lost -- let us pray."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0645
The robbers are gone, but with naught.
You do not have to chafe
For your fortune is safe --
I have hidden it all in my twat."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0646
Yet the anguished Pole said in remorse,
"If your mother were here
We'd have nothing to fear.
We'd have saved both the cart and the horse."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0647
Who pleasured herself with a marrow.
But soon she grew slack
And now in she'll pack,
A full sized, full laden wheel-barrow.
--- Tiddy Ogg
This is file aql
"No wonder, m'dear, you can't walk;
You've stuffed your hot twat
With bitter shallot,
And left hanging out the whole stalk!"
--- Travis Brasell
For stuffed up your pink and your brown,
Are pineapples vast!"
Said the doctor, aghast,
As he tugged them both out with a frown.
--- Peter Wilkins
Who took a large watermelon,
Which fell out, by Gosh,
Till she used crook-necked squash
As wedges to keep it in-dwellin'.
--- John Miller
Stretching yards from her rear to her front.
With her pussy lips parted,
'Twas hard to get started,
Or finish at all, to be blunt.
--- Peter Wilkins
In search of a suitable prong.
In New York she tried,
A building to ride,
And totally engulfed old King Kong.
--- Anon
Who picked up a worn out old tramp.
He examined her tunnel
Through an oversize funnel,
And he charted the depths with his lamp.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0470
With a cunt like the canyon called "Glen."
She was fucked on a date
And the man blew at eight,
And the echo was heard around ten.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0468
Examined the twat of a squaw.
He summed the perimeter
Plus the depth by altimeter,
And he stared at the figures with awe.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0614
That she never was thrilled by men's roots.
But an angler named Bill
Gave her more than her fill,
When he tromped in her cunt with hip boots.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0617
Was enlarged by some oversize roots.
The last one that fucked her
Was a railroad conductor,
Who waltzed through her cunt with hip boots.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0616
We've medical problems, I fear.
"Sex by your own hand'll
Be fine -- Use a candle,"
I said, "not the whole chandelier!"
--- Tiddy Ogg
Rammed the cunt of a girl of broad beam.
Fourteen hours of bliss
And she said, "'Nough of this,
If you touch me once more, I shall scream."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2944
The whore bared her genital cavity.
Some claim that its girth
Has wobbled the Earth,
Due to its huge mass and gravity.
--- John Chastaine a
Had a cleft over half a foot wide.
If you fancied, 'tis said,
You could shove in your head
And utter foul sayings inside.
--- Hugh Oliver 100d
And who knows where your husband George is!
But I'll pass up this sin
'Cause I just might fall in
And it's deep, I afraid, as a gorge is!
--- Writerman
Who had an experience weird.
In South Carolina,
He fell in a vagina,
Screamed, struggled, and then disappeared.
--- G1989
Thought Bertha while sat on the john.
"Down here," came a weak
Indistinct sort of squeak,
Which faded and soon it was gone.
--- Peter Wilkins
Who posessed an enormous vagina.
Once while masturbating,
Lost her ring, how frustrating,
Went to get it and now we can't find 'er.
--- Anon
"That I must confess, I'm ashamed.
When I finally scored,
I grabbed on to a board,
And while climbing out, I was maimed."
--- Anon
As he peeked up her dress with a grin,
"I came out of a spot,
Just like that, but Mein Gott!
With yours, I could crawl right back in!"
--- Anon
Her mammoth interior plumbing
When he slipped and fell in
All the way to his chin.
She shouted, "Hang on, dear! I'm coming!"
--- Lance Payne P8402
So loose, it could swallow a yacht;
I took up the slack
And filled up her crack
By tying my dick in a knot.
--- Anon
Who sold tickets to enter her grotto.
So large was that thing
That echoes would ring,
If you didn't speak 'voce sotto'.
--- Anon
To the bedpost, tie it about --
Then twice 'round your waist,
So that, just in case
You fall in, you can pull yourself out.
--- Kaylin
Had a cunt so enormously wide,
Every fucking companion
Who fell in that canyon,
Was lost for a fortnight inside.
--- G0414
Whose cunt's a good two foot acrossed,
It's the best part of valor
To bugger the gal, or
You're apt to fall in and get lost.
--- L0163
Observed that her cunt had some slack.
With his laces he thought
He would tighten the twat,
But he slipped and he fell through the crack.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0485
Had drummed up her business anew.
Though she lowered her rates
To attract many dates,
It turned out, her appointments fell through.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0576
Picked a harlot, the lowest in cost.
But the cunt of the Miss
Was a dismal abyss,
And he fell through the crack and got lost.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1592
Who vanished while licking a quim;
The girl in the case
Found scarcely a trace,
Save faint finger marks on the rim.
--- Anon
Whose pelvis grew wider and wider.
On day, full of gin,
Her old boyfriend fell in,
And was drowned in the chasm inside her.
--- Keith MacMillan 38b
But he'd only wink at us, and grin.
It's hard to determine
What happened to Herman,
But we more or less think he fell in.
--- Grand Prix Lim 416 G2046
Who said she was as tight as a glove;
But her boyfriend did pump
And boy did he jump
When he fell in her cavern of love!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
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