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There was a coed from McMurray, A pre-medical coed of Dallas A venturesome fellow named Jock There once was a girl named Doris, There was a respected old colonel But Lota, an old whore from China, For the contest, the judge did instruct There was an old lady named Rideout, While ashore a young sailor named Gore A promiscuous princess named Alice An episiotomy slip From a madam, a fellow named Gore The whimsies of dirty old Spink Never again shall I hunt An impish young fellow named James, As a maiden from South Buffalo For you I'll write love notes in reams, It's all very well, don't you know, It's already twelve inches deep, But be careful, you are aware, You've been bad, old grouch Ebeneezer! My goodness, poor old Granny Dot! An intrepid old man of Azores In front of the fire sat Rose There once was a gal from Nantucket The alcohol made Sue unhinged; A crusader's wife of Chertsey, There was a young girl named McNavity Weathergirl Angela Gore The prison's new warden, Joe Rusty, A charming young lady named Brenda To the doctor a lady of Dallas I had a good time with Miss June, A thifty old lady, so chubby, Take care, now you've mounted the stairs, Have you checked out their collars and cuff, There was a young lady named Greenery While having some tail, Mr. Baird, A whore spent three months in confinement, There was a young lady named Perkin, There was a young lady of Ulva, There was a young whore I call Mar, A damsel who sailed the Pacific, There was an old codger named Hector, The wife of a fellow named Mel There was an old lady, God bless her, There was an old spinster named Perkins The unfortunate Duchess of Kent, An uptight young lady named Breerley "Oh doc," wailed a woman named Lunt, I once met a lady in Leicester. At last, when his moaning was stifled, Last evening young debutante Jayne This morning, Jayne let out a laugh, There once were two portly bitches, There was a young butcher named Marvin, There was a young man from St James A most stubborn woman, named Simon, I met him each day by the creek. A peculiar man, name of Dave, The snatch of a waitress named Pips The dork of Dirk Dorgan of Deal There was a young flapper named Bunny An equestrian starlet named Barr, At the circus, a stunt girl Miss Barr There was an old seamstress forlorn,
Whose pussy was big, hot and furry.
She screwed eighteen boys,
Ten Jews and eight goys,
But her pussy burned out in a hurry!
--- Laurence Craft
Fell in love with a large pickled phallus.
In anatomy lab
She lay on a slab
And developed a vaginal callous.
--- Allan Ottley, 1975
Picked up a loose girl in Iraq.
Due to moral decay
Her right tit fell away,
And her pussy came off on his cock.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1799
Who sang and danced in a chorus.
She fell on her ass,
On top of a glass,
And cleanly removed her clitoris.
--- Flytyer
Who screwed a young lady cavernal.
But she had a relapse
And her twat did collapse,
So he noted the facts in his journal.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0670
Has got a contorted vagina.
To fit in her crack,
You have to lay back,
But the feeling just couldn't be finer.
--- Tim Fisher
That the beauties at first must be fucked.
Then proceed to compare
For the orifice wear,
And for holes that are worn, points deduct.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2126
Whose pussy had never been tried out.
It took the same shape
As a plum or a grape,
Which had lain in the sun until dried out.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1383
Picked up a loose woman, a whore.
To his utter dismay,
Both her tits fell away,
And her pussy dropped down to the floor.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1787
Kept lovers all over her palace.
But her hole became hard
And her pleasure was marred,
When she developed an embarassing callus.
--- Ester M. Lelper P8407a
Caused Sadie to loosen her grip.
She then said with a pout,
"My tampon fell out,
And now I have post-coital drip.
--- Sam Pittman
Selected her lowest priced whore.
When he gave her a goose, (To his utter dismay,)
Her right tit came loose, (Both her tits fell away)
And her pussy dropped down to the floor.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1784
Are lower by far than you think,
For the genital zone
Of a girl from Athlone,
He's filled with indelible ink.
--- G2515
For the cleanest, most savory cunt.
If what I can snatch'll
Fit into this satchel,
I'll get what I desperately want!
--- Anon
Had a passion for idiot games.
He lighted the hair (He lighted the rim)
Of his lady's affair, (Of his granfmother's quim,)
And laughed as she pissed through the flames.
--- Anon
I get jolly by squatting in snow
In up to my hips.
I've delightful blue lips,
When it's 30 degrees and below.
--- Anon
And we'll use your gauge as it deems
To warm up the rim
Of my little blue quim,
If you're the snowman of my dreams
--- Anon
For women to squat in the snow.
If I pee when it's chilly,
It shrivels my willy.
Trust me, its not much of a show.
--- Anon
(Can't even get out with a jeep.)
If you like to squat,
In the snow, we've got,
Plenty, it's piled up in heaps.
--- Anon
That icy cold crystals on hair,
And pretty pink meat,
Is not such a treat,
If you get frostbite down there.
--- Anon
Keeping your dead wife in the freezer.
Though she's terribly rigid,
And incredibly frigid,
Frozen pussy, I hear, is a pleaser.
--- CyberCelt T9712
Who needed a warm indoor pot
To piss in...Had she
Managed a pee,
She'd of frozen a rope to her twat.
--- Tutta Gioia
Engaged one of the dirtiest whores.
In her twat was a blight
Which he licked with delight,
And he fucked all her festering sores.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1239
Attempting to thaw out her toes.
It was thirty below,
When she fucked in the snow,
And her pussy was fucking near froze.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2268a
Who's pussy was too big to fuck it.
I put my arm in real quick;
And it did the trick.
But a turd came out where I stuck it...
--- Anon z
She set fire to the house when she binged.
She ran back in the house
For her cat, not her spouse.
She was saved, but her pussy got singed.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0606
Made a really remarkable curtsy;
She twirled round and round,
Till she sank to the ground,
For the locks on her box really hurt, see.
--- Edwardian Leer 022 P9306
Who was born with no vaginal cavity.
She was no good for fucking
But an expert at sucking,
And superior for asshole depravity.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1005
Said, "Oh my dear, it's a bore.
When a cold weather front
Just blows up my cunt,
It makes it quite itchy and sore."
--- Anon
Was head-over-heels for a busty
Old matronly guard,
Till, out in the yard,
He found that her pussy was dusty.
--- Travis Brasell
Was always prepared to surrender;
But too frequent insertion
Plus a dash of perversion,
Produced a distorted pudenda.
--- Harald S Green P8510 a
Showed her cunt with an oversize callous.
Said the doc, "It appears
You have spent a few years
With a man with a very hard phallus."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2958
Yet told her to leave me, and soon.
We made love unencumbered;
Her days were are numbered;
Her puss looks now like a dried prune.
--- Anon
This is file acl
Was saving her cunt for a hubby.
But too long she had tarried
And the man that she married,
Complained that her cunt was too grubby.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1708
When bannister sliding, for there's
A chance that a splinter
Will work its way in ter
Your pussy, and all ends in tears.
--- Tiddy Ogg
'Cause some girls just like to bluff.
Take a peek at their snatch
For a mis-colored patch,
Or a touch up that's done very rough.
--- Anon
Who slaved all day long in a beanery.
Then she worked in a factory
But she found it distractory,
For her monkey was wrenched by machinery.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0462
Was asked by his maid how he fared.
He said, "Fit as a fiddle,
But the next time we diddle,
I suggest that you have it repaired."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1755
Her cunt was way out of alignment,
And the doc did admit
He could not help a bit,
So she peddled her ass on consignment.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0425
Who swallowed an extra-large gherkin.
Now she doesn't spend much
On Kotex and such,
On account of her drain isn't workin'.
--- L1207
Whose sexual feelings were null. Va-
Ginal climaxes
Came as rarely as taxis,
And she'd nothing but void in her vulva.
--- Barbara E Goff
Who once left my zipper ajar.
She left in a rush
While clutching her bush.
I hope her poor cooter don't scar.
--- Anon
When the cocks in her cunt grew prolific,
Exclaimed, "This is fun,
But it's wearing on one.
The strain on my twat is terrific!"
--- G0713
Who paid a young gal to inspect her.
With a cunt that was grand
She could handle one hand,
But two were too much and it wrecked her.
--- Bob Birch
Was struck with a bad, sickly spell.
Sometime later that day,
He attempted a lay,
But her cunt was not working too well.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2190
Who tried to jump over a dresser.
She caught her tail
On a eightpenny nail,
A ripped her "p, i, double-ess-er"
--- G1648a
Whose gardener gave her some gherkins,
And times without number
She tried his cucumber,
Which pickled her internal workin's.
--- G2183
Had a cunt so dreadfully bent,
The poor wench did stammer,
"I need a sledgehammer
To pound a man into my vent."
--- L0179
Who valued her morals too dearly,
Had sex, so I hear,
Only once every year,
And she strained her vagina severely.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1530
"I'm blushing, but let me be blunt.
The worst of mishaps:
My rectal prolapse
Has pushed through the walls of my cunt."
--- Armand E Singer 746
I took her back home and undreicester.
But I ran off to Brough
When I found that her mough
Was riddled and starting to feicester.
--- Anon
He groaned, "I would never have trifled
With Hortense, the whore,
And gotten so sore,
If I'd known her vagina was rifled.
--- G2055
Spread wide her legs without strain,
But failed to remember
That she was so limber,
And ripped her young self right in twain.
--- Travis Brasell
While searching for her leftside calf
And quipped, "Oh, my soul!
I haven't a (w)hole --
There's nothing there now but a half!"
--- Travis Brasell
Who tightened their snatches with stitches.
It all went quite well
Till one of them fell,
And ripped both her cunt and her britches!
--- Hoagy
An expert on choppin' and carvin'.
He'd cut the sex parts
Off young pussies and tarts,
And send them to folks who were starvin'.
--- G2420
Who indulged in the joliest games;
He lighted the rim (the hair)
Of his grandmother's quim, (of his lady's affair,)
And laughed as she pissed through the flames.
--- Anon
Refused all advances made by men.
She finally did unlatch,
When a guy took a match,
Setting fire to the hair near her hymen.
--- Tom Patton P9708
We did you know what, for a week.
I didn't keep score,
But my cunny is sore,
'Cause seven days makes a hole weak.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
Tried to give his girlfriend a shave.
He fucked up a bit
When he nicked her clit;
She feels shit, when he spelunks her cave.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Bottomed out just an inch past the lips.
Though her muff was not deep,
She cried nary a peep,
'Cause she made a good living on tips!
--- Anon
When removed from a gal, will reveal
Something fractured and flabby
And skint up and shabby...
But in twenty-four hours, it'll heal.
--- Grand Prix Lim 273 a
Who asked, "What is wrong with my cunny?
I've tried fornication
With men of each nation,
But my twitchet's still itchy -- it's funny."
--- G0276
Said, "My act's made me, sexwise, bizarre!
Since my two bareback steeds
Move at different speeds,
I've been stretching a good thing too far.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Displayed antics that made her a star,
But her ride on two horses
Heading opposite courses --
It was stretching a good thing too far.
--- Al Chaplin 3024 P8711a
Whose asshole was weathered and worn.
She so oft had been deedled
That she sweezed and she wheedled,
And her pussy was tattered and torn.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1780
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