Will jellyfish genes in a monkey
Called George, make the monkey act funky?
Look-see through in water;
Have stings he'd no ought ter,
And wobble on land like a drunky.
--- Prof M-G

Enormous huge networks of genes
Are magic, or that's what it seems.
You plot a huge jumble
Of bullshit, then mumble,
Pretending to know what it means.
--- Gordon Conference

"We're Adam and Eve's family,"
This Phi Beta Kappa told me.
"So if we're to lie
With thigh against thigh,
It's miscegenetically."
--- Irving Superior

A scientist living in Bude,
Genetically modified food.
He altered the genes
Of carrots and beans,
For reasons I cannot conclude.
--- Richard Long

An acid rain falls on the leaves,
And Mother Earth quietly grieves.
These blasted pollutants
Will make us all mutants;
Our kids will wear coats with three sleeves.
--- David Morin

A hot-blooded Latin, Jerome,
Was frigging a girlie in Rome.
"Festina lente,"
Was all she could say,
"You're rousing my sex chromosome."
--- Julia Strawn P8809

My ancestors followed green trails
With gracefully prehensile tails.
I feel for my own
And find it is gone.
A lack! Clear proof nature fails.
--- Laurence Perrine P8408

Genealogy does me amaze
As my ancestry I've tried to raise.
The enumeration
By decades in this nation,
Spells my name in disparate ways.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh

In a treetop a tailed furry creature
Met another and swung to beseech her:
"Return my affection
And Natural Selection
Will fetch in the future our feature."
--- Laurence Perrine P8408

My genetically engineered brother
Was created by some means or other.
He has, between us,
No umbilicus,
So he therefore rejects our dear mother.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9404

At school I went out for athletics;
My parents preferred cybernetics.
So I studied kinetics
To please those ascetics,
But I question our common genetics.
--- Mimi

I once met this three-breasted whore,
A mutant of nuclear war.
She'd two pussies, I swear,
Though neither had hair,
And a tongue that hung down to the floor.
--- Jeeves T9801

If you check all of your DNA,
Back to the first, you will say:
We're decendants of WHO?
A black woman? It's true!
(And the man with whom she did lay.
--- Jalayne

There was a young lady named Rose,
Who lauded her daddy in prose.
In her 'Ode to Dear Dad',
Her genealogy was bad--
'Cause only her mother knows.
--- Anon A

The DNA that men enjoy
Prevents them from being too coy.
Just scratch 'neath their skin,
And you'll find that you're in
The realm of perpetual boy.
--- Chris Papa

His gene pool sadly is missing;
It simply is bubbling and hissing.
No A, T, C, G --
Even up to his knee,
Because his pool is where we've been pissing.
--- Anon

If man is true POLYPHYLETIC,
And mixed up in matters genetic,
Then family pride
Should quick be denied,
Since Dads were so peripatetic.
--- Chris Papa

His idea is simply pathetic
That only is beauty magnetic...
A beautiful moron
Softens the hard-on,
A boon for the pool that's genetic.
--- Anon

It's a natural impulse to thrust,
To further the species, a must.
To the end, mate, this means,
Something there in your genes
To make sure of "pure animal lust!"
--- David Bourke

If I gave you my genome to play with,
Would you deem me as someone to stay with.
Or would you scramble my genes
Like tossed salad spring greens,
Just to see all the sequence I'm made with.
--- Science Creative Quart

A study fo high complication
Is DNA mechanization.
It seem, my dear sir,
Its reison d'etre
Is simply its self-replication.
--- Kim Goldsworthy P8504

Genetic scientists in a lab near Renfrew,
Have proved sex must be hereditary too.
Says spokesperson McTavitt,
"If yer Ma didn't have it,
Chances are neither will you!"
--- H Myers A

Current gene-theory's in strife,
Since, although carbon-creatures are rife,
A Baywatch stampede,
Show the presence, indeed,
Of small units of silicone-life.
--- Nick D Kim a

A lean young peripatetic
Thinks slimness may be genetic.
Both father and son
Find sleepwalking fun,
Despite a pace that's frenetic.
--- Macsam

Though girls be more socially aesthetic;
Though oafish teen boys be pathetic;
Though Doc Skuse, to applause,
Claims a chromosome cause...
I cannot believe it's genetic.

(Skuse claimed social gene on X chromosome - 1997)
--- M Mestert

"Moral judgments," said Reverend Carey,
"About surrogate motherhood vary.
Some think it's a bane,
And yet others maintain
The first surrogate mother was Mary."
--- A N Wilkins P8706a

A genetic engineer named Pickens
Gave his lab assistant the Dickens.
Seems he saturated a turd
With DNA from some bird;
Got some shit that tasted like chicken.
--- John C Hulse

I claim my descent from a monkey,
Though a chorus of jeers all in one key,
Makes it most evident
One may trace their descent
From a dim-witted hee-hawing donkey!
--- Laurence Perrine P8408

I think quite a lot on the sexes,
On the y-chromosomes and the x's,
On the cells, and their size,
On the breasts! On the thighs!
And especially that centermost nexus!
--- Lance Payne P8601

If the chromosome make-up of eggs
Could be either a Y or an X,
There'd be half as much muff
For us geezers to stuff,
And a third indeterminate sex.
--- Peter Wilkins

Our scientists are working each day
On chromosones and dna.
In the end there would be
A "X", "Y" AND "Z,"
And we'd get surprises with play.
--- Anon

Yitzhak Rabin responded with glee,
"Blood tests prove Arabs same as me.
The consequence
Is all are mensch;
The whole world is Jewish, don't you see?"
--- Tom Patton

If it is the gender in question,
Then this small fact I will mention:
X-Y is my pair;
With my wife I share;
Let there be no misintention.
--- Anon

This is file zyl

Well, you will have much trouble here,
Even without all the beer.
They got sex on the brain
Again and again.
Please don't bring the wife around here!
--- Anon

"It's that extra, but weak, chromosome,"
Said Professor J. Macho Jerome,
"That makes women miss out on
The fun men can count on "
And even a sexy, bald dome."
--- Limericks Liberated P0501

I'm cloning male parts in my cellar,
So I can build me a new feller.
Some bits are real old,
Two other have mold,
But one looks just like my bank teller!
--- Anon

Please tell me which gender I am;
Might I be a woman or man?
A sister or brother?
A father or mother?
I'm a clone of both Sarah and Sam.
--- Countrygirl

"A twin!", he said he hadn't known one.
And his look-alike, he didn't own one.
"But I will, with a sliver
Of my thumb and liver,
'Cause you know that it takes one to clone one."
--- Wendy Lee

Maybe they will clone Al Gore,
We could always use just one more.
I'm sure he'd be handy
Whenever Bill's randy,
By helping to guard the door.
--- MrMalo

It all started with the ewe, Dolly;
What followed was just a great folly.
Those doctors do think
They can make a big stink
By cloning our buxom Miss Molly.
--- Chris Tustin

Perhaps they'd be cloning Madonna,
Though I can't think of why they would wanna.
'Twould be eco-disaster
Cause she'd be twice as faster,
Molesting the indigent fauna.
--- MrMalo

A molecular genius named Kroner
Sighs, "Freudians say I'm a loner
Because of my Dad--
Well, Ma can't be had,
I'm thinking perhaps I can clone her."
--- Norm Storer P9403

You can cut me apart with a knife;
Use a hatchet to split me from life;
You can bury my ass
Six feet in the grass,
But please don't try cloning my wife.
--- MrMalo

I think that they should clone the Prez,
And even his wife the lez.
Then with sister and brother,
They can all lick each other,
And who cares just what anyone says.
--- MrMalo

I tell you my mind is just blown;
A human they're wanting to clone.
Imagine the fuss,
If it's one of us;
Small brain and a big pecker bone.
--- Annie Jay

There once was a scientist mad,
Who kept clones of himself as a lad;
He arranged them on shelves
And taught all of his selves
To shout loudly in unison, "Dad!"
--- Peter Wilkins

There was a young doc named McCoy
Who cloned himself more to enjoy
The girls aboard ship,
But he made a bad slip;
They all wanted the real McCoy.
--- Anon

I don't know if anyone cares,
If I'm duplicated in pairs.
I'd be glad to see
Twenty seven of me;
That way I will always have spares.
--- MrMalo

Some folks have a misapprehension,
That's badly increasing the tension.
See, cloning takes years,
Which should allay fears
Of your clone collecting your pension.
--- Somedude

Problems may come, but be small.
Southerners may be appalled,
When addressing one's clones,
Some grammar one hones --
Is the pronoun They, You, or Y'all?
--- Superdude

There's questions of overpopulation,
Causing some great consternation.
But we'd clone so few,
Not much more than two,
That it's really naught but a sensation.
--- Superdude

Some worry about "Master Races",
Fearing clones will be given low places.
No problem, say I,
Clone some well-muscled guy.
He'll be treated with all social graces.
--- Superdude

An NBA chock full of Jordans?
"No chance!" say the moralist wardens.
It won't happen, of course,
Who would get to endorse
The Nikes, the Right Guards, and Bordens?
--- Superdude

That's sick! That's immoral! I know!
It's is why we should surely go slow.
But Congressional bans
Would put this in the hands
Of countries that didn't say "No."
--- Superdude

Therefore, as the pressure has bounded,
It's time to no longer be hounded.
But when you stand up and speak --
Though you're surely unique,
Should your clones too, stand up and be counted?
--- Superdude

Holy Cow! They've done it once more!
Now it's cattle they're cloning by score.
If they try it with me,
I'll beg them fervently,
To please stay away from my spore!
--- Larry M

There's only one problem, I'm afraid,
About the way clones are made.
With all the trouble
Of raising my double,
At least I ought to get laid.
--- MrMalo

If I could clone myself, I would do it,
Then if people got mad, they could sue IT.
I could go out and play --
When things got in my way,
I could say to my clone, "You see to it!"
--- Lynn

Down to the beach I would go;
The money my clone earned, I'd blow.
My pager she'd wear;
I'd not have a care!
Just think of the wild oats I'd sow.
--- Lynn

Though I'm tempted to trade in my body,
The dilemma presented is knotty:
Mine's not quite good enough,
But life sure would be tough
If I wound up with something more shoddy!
--- Gerry Busch

I can't understand all the moaning,
About all this business of cloning.
You don't have to undress,
And you don't have the mess
Like you do with the usual boning.
--- MrMalo a

Clinton put a ban on people cloning;
It drives lots of people to phoning.
Is it ever fair
They say in despair,
To ignore all the people moaning?
--- Carl A Benz

"We must stop," said Clinton on cloning,
"Ethics and morals are foaming!
We've got to decide
If we can abide
With the questions now rampantly roaming."
--- Carl A Benz

If they stop cloning reasearch today,
Researchers will just find a way:
Private funds. They'd declare
We must clone the gray mare,
And keep federal inspectors at bay.
--- Carl A Benz

There once was a prof who impressed,
Perfect cloning two sheep in a test.
When one stole bags of hay,
Leaving much DNA,
5he cops didn't know who to arrest.
--- Mesterton-Gibbons MG9702

Have scientists gone mad and too far,
Cloning sheep and now us in a jar.
I'll tell you mister,
I don't want a sister
Who has wool on her back and goes Baaa!
--- H Myers T9801