If you're think of breaking apart
Heavy rocks into fragments, the art
Is to strike them a blow
With a hammer, or so
Said the convicts, who knew it my heart.
--- Rory Ewins

Do you hear that low rumble sound?
It's something so very profound.
I have known for years
We need have no fears
When we hear the world going 'round.
--- Marlene

A rumble you feel in your bones
Eliciting satisfied moeans,
Is not from good sex;
It's much more complex;
It's from our Earth's revolving stones.
--- Marlene

Late nights when it's quiet in bed,
The rumble is inside my head.
It gives me a sign
That everything's fine;
The world's going 'round; fear has fled.
--- Marlene

You say it's the world's axis rumbling?
It must be the beaarings a-crumbling!
If the bearings are shot,
Then the poles will get hot,
Then they'll smash and through space we'll be tumbling!
--- Tiddy Ogg

I hate to disturb your night's sleep
But that rumblin's so very deep,
It's grinding away,
While your are just lay-
Ing down on your bed like Bo Peep!
--- Archie

The friction is heating our Earth;
To disaster it will soon give birth.
As the core overheats,
It'll blow us to bits;
On pieces of Earth we'll space surf!
--- Archie

The twitch of Earth's magnetic field
Is seldom to humans revealed.
Dear sensitive Mar,
Just needs an iron jar;
A big one, not too much annealed.
--- H Welchel

And now, the benefits double
Should Earth ever get into trouble.
Hermetically sealed,
I'll scan her bent field,
And fish her right out of the rubble.
--- H Welchel

My mag amps are way unsurpassed;
They're all cryo-nitrogen gassed.
She shant need a flare
Or beacon out there.
Her final Earth breath, though, must last.
--- H Welchel

So limmers, if you hear a hum,
And think Earth shall be overcome,
Kiss something for luck,
Inhale a big suck,
And climb in a 50 gal drum.
--- H Welchel

The word, it is not really rumbling
As through the starred void we are tumbling.
It's trains on the track;
Cars on the tarmac;
At natural science, I'm bumbling.
--- Marlene Lewis

For logical causes I sleuthed
And when I was little it soothed.
The sound helped me sleep
With no need to weep.
My way through night's darkess it smoothed.
--- Marlene Lewis

Those mythic tales of maids Greek
Who eyes lachrymose tears did leak,
Were said to be clones,
Source of Amber stones,
Which rockhounds and geologists seek!
--- Barb

A geologist searching for stones
Found an odd-looking bundle of bones,
In a Cellophane bag,
On which was a tag
Containing the single word, "Jones."
--- Lims Unlimited

The geologists argue in chorus
That the dinosaurs lived long before us.
But when walking down Yonge
You can still fall among
Some inebriate Toronto sore ass.
--- Hugh Oliver 61a

A noted geologist, Walt,
Once screwed a young lady of Galt.
She said, "You're proficient;
Is my fissure sufficient?"
But her fissure, he said, was a fault.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0638

I went to look at a friend's mine;
Some water to smartly divine.
My stick it did quiver,
But my underground river
Tasted like rancid white wine!
--- Anon

Oh Wow! You're amazing! Yippee!
The earth shook and trembled for me!
Our explosions abroad
Simultaneously scored
About 12 on the Richter scale, E!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A seismologist fellow in Crete
Encrusted his wife in concrete;
He said as he tricked her,
"This is good to 9 Richter--
Since I've bolted the floor to your feet."
--- Arthur Deex P9605

In an earthquake, the best thing to do
Is to set about having a screw.
When you're done, you can say
In your nonchalant way,
May I ask, did the earth move for you?
--- Anon

My son called said, "Mom, it was neat!
The earth shook right under my feet.
The building did sway;
Got sent home with pay!"
I think his brain's turned to concrete.
--- Anon

Bad things seem to hit us in three's;
We've had this crash and the midwestern freeze.
So what comes tomorrow
To add to our sorrow?
An earthquake's my bet, if you please...
--- John Miller 0132a

There once was a woman named Sue,
Who gave blowjobs until she was blue.
When an earthquake hit,
She bit into it;
Now her lover is now a girl too!
--- Ming-mei Wu

By now, perhaps, you've heard the prattle
About the big quake in Seattle;
Folks say that the shaking
Was caused by me making
A fool of myself with my cattle.
--- Travis Brasell

At work at my desk where I sit;
My location when the tremblor hit.
The noise was like thunder,
My desk I dove under
And tried very hard not to shit!

(Seattle earthquake, Feb 2001)
--- Scott Amsden

A seismologist describing a quake,
Said, "Everything started to shake."
His words unterrific
Were not scientific,
But those were the words that he spake.
--- Al Willis

A pretty seismologist, Gail,
Once quaked, when a well-endowed male
Penetrated her chasm,
Inducing orgasm
That registered 8 (Richter Scale).
--- Ed Potts P8503

Her breakfront stands next to the wall,
Holding porcelain, china, and all.
But she lives on a fault
Where the quakes never halt,
So her treasures are likely to fall.
--- Sheila B

A Quaker lass never felt free
To learn what an orgasm should be.
He seismologist beau
Predicted he'd know
If she ever reached seven point three.
--- Macsam

A seismology coed named Schlichter,
Had a boyfriend named Victor, who licked her
With an ardor unslaked
Till with ardor she quaked,
On a scale that surpassed that of Richter.
--- Taylor McCulloch, Playboy

The West, in a tumult of chaos,
Fell in the Pacific embraos.
When it afterwards came
To apportioning blame,
The fault was presumed San Andreas.
--- Hugh Oliver A140A

The real reason for all that quaking
That made Seattle's building shaking,
And caused such a drama,
Is that Big German Mama,
A tremendous orgasm was faking.
--- Dirruk

This is file zwl

When Big Sexy Sam came, he blasted,
Leaving Flossie both flabbered and gasted.
"Well," she quippped, with a smile,
That's a lay with real style...
A seismological blast while it lasted.
--- Grand Prix Lim 72

A geology student named Victor
Took his date to the river and dicked her.
He admitted his fault
In this heinous assault,
But was proud of his 6 on the Richter.
--- C Webster Wheelock P8311 A

When Richter's scales upward vault
And tremors start their ground assault.
When earthquakes came,
Who was to blame?
St. Andreas, 'twas his fault?
--- Irving Superior P9609

Last night California shook.
It made the seismologists look
For the telltale roar
Of tsunamis ashore,
And Bush is the greatest, you schnook!
--- Bruce

Tens of thousands have gone to their grave,
Whom a warning might easily save.
A child cries for mommy
When, like the tsunami,
We dismiss her with simply a wave.
--- Limerick Savant

The news from Sri Lanka's a cack;
This from a barman named Jack.
Business is good.
On pieces of wood
His regulars are all drifting back.
--- Anon

Suppose, in this case, that I could
Make exception for Dave's bit of wood.
(Normally I sacks
These between-meal snacks,
But a wee'un might just go down good.)
--- Anon

The beach bar on old Sarawak,
Was hit by tsunami attack.
It sure hit their trade,
And losses were made,
But clients are now drifting back.
--- Tiddy Ogg

It isn't as sick or as barmy
As the bloke from the Salvation Army,
Who claimed 'twas God's will
To injure and kill
The wicked by means of tsunami.
--- Tiddy Ogg

He pulled off his old mother's cami-
Sole, jumped on, when struck the tsunami.
He gasped, after thrashing
In incestuous passion:
"Well, did the earth move for you, mammy?
--- Tiddy Ogg

For that, Tiddy Ogg, I can tell
You're probably going to hell.
The incest's okay,
But I feel I should say
That tsunami idea was just...swell.
--- Peter Wilkins

I've news for both you and Ogg, Pop:
I've come here to beg you to stop.
I know it's not recent
That you've been indecent,
But that was just over the top.
--- Cyber Wizard

It's true ol' Tid oft misbehaves
And though his last line was first Dave's,
And while it aint funny,
He's right on the money
'Bout clients returning in waves!
--- Observer

What a hideous way to behave!
You are each uncouth and a knave.
To mock and make light
Of what Guinness says might
Be the largest group doing The Wave.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Deep in the African Congo,
Volcano Nyiragongo
Is blowing its top;
It's not going to stop
Till all of Goma is gone-o!
--- Tony Burrell

It blows every thirty-odd years,
Resulting in many shed tears.
So why'd they come back
To build one more shack?
The answer eludes me, I fear.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Though lava will often form domes,
It cools to something like loam.
It's fertility, you see,
(Just like Hawaii)
As well as, "There's no place like home."
--- Dot B

The statues of Robert de Missens
I saw in a few exhibitions.
I noticed the label:
Two people unable
To flee from volcanic emissions.
--- Peter Wilkins

Mid lightning and thunder a-crashin',
Mount Etna erupted with ash 'n'
They did not hear it comin'
Because they were plumbin',
Consumed in a moment of passion.
--- Peter Wilkins

While Microsoft's market share tumbled,
A volcano in Washington rumbled;
A mountainside where a
Collapsing caldera
Reminds them that all can be humbled.
--- Anon

In agony, hiked from Samoa
To mid-Indonesia to show a
Good doctor my feet.
When I did, he said, "Pete,
Why, it's only a small Krakatoa."
--- Peter Wilkins

An active volcano is one
Whose eruptions are not nearly done.
So if you're near the crater,
Then I'll see you later.
You stay if you want, but I'll run.
--- Anon

St Helens turned trees into sliver.
Regardless, we have to forgive her.
For it was Mother Nature
Not the State Legislature,
That forced them to clean up the river.
--- Gifford Wherry

The locals ignore the vibration
And ash with a calm resignation;
Is testing their mettle;
Flight get zero consideration.
--- Election 2000

"Volcanic eruptions", she cried,
"Make me kind of excited inside."
On Stromboli's hot summit
She started to thumb it,
When whoosh! Both her pussy-lips fried.
--- Peter Wilkins

A volcanic eruption one day
Caused the king of Uganda to say,
As he fled from the scene
With his terrified queen,
"We've seen the last days of pomp, eh?'
--- Lims Unlimited

A tiny volcano in Java
Appeared, but it spurted no lava.
Then a little brown mole,
With his nose through the hole,
Said, "I don't want to tunnel no farva."
--- Funfax Limericks

Two geologists met, excavated,
Became lava's who's heat devastated.
Their couplings volcanic
Caused tremors and panic,
And whole towns to be evacuated.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

An anxious young lover named Hall
Romanced his fair date at a ball.
Though not as yet plighted,
They wound up united;
Privatum, pudendum, and all.
--- Armand E Singer 520

I took Sally out back of the shed;
"I have something to show you," I said.
She said, "Ugh, what a sight!
I know looking's not right,
I've a place we can hide it instead."
--- John Miller 0038

Said my Sally, out back of the shed,
"That's all of THIS, till we're wed.
'Cause what we just did
Could result in a kid,
And besides, I'd prefer it in bed."
--- John Miller 0039

A nice little number named Nancy
Got all liquored up and romancy.
A fellow named Anson
Did all the romancin'
And entered his tool in her pantsy.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A Western New York native daughter
Wrote suggestive light verse she should naughter;
The California Casanova
Then tumbled her ova,
And she found herself deep in hot water.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8505