In the hayloft, my country bush-bunny,
Plays hard-to-get, just to be funny;
I'll moan and I'll cry
For Sweet Thing's hair pie;
That nectar! That tongue-in-groove honey!
--- Anon

But Sweet Thing can't hold out forever;
She's horny, and won't be too clever;
Soon my hands clutch her fanny,
As I slurp in her cranny;
It's our favorite rural endeavour!
--- Anon

In a haystack, at a time we've appointed,
We frolic 'till I get her annointed;
Oh, my Sweet Thing is wild;
And what's got me beguiled,
By gum, this here chick's double-jointed!
--- Anon

With a full picnic basket, plus blanket,
In a meadow for a nice outdoor banquet,
Found a spot quite obscure;
See, my Sweet Thing's demure,
But her love-engine wants me to crank it!
--- Anon

In a quiet spot in the tall grass,
Near a bunch of some sweet sassafras,
With my Sweet Thing, o'er lunch,
Soon, I got a strong hunch
That some good things would sure come to pass.
--- Anon

She was lazily rocking her hips,
While my Sweet Thing was feeding me chips;
While her hands to me clung,
I put grapes on her tongue;
With my finger, I stroked her moist lips.
--- Anon

On her back, then, she looked sleepy eyed;
Up my forearm, her foot did a slide,
With a li'l playful yelp,
Naughty Sweet Thing said: "Help,
With my shoe lace: it needs to be tied."
--- Anon

She wore tennies and white cotton socks;
Pleated skirt a bit shorter'n frocks;
I tied that shoe string,
For my 'helpless' Sweet Thing;
Then I saw the prize dream of most jocks!
--- Anon

'Neath her skirt, she was bare! My dear pet!
Such a Sweet Thing! I still see it yet!
Her muff made me buzz;
'Twas mostly peach fuzz;
And her cleft was already quite wet!
--- Anon

Through the sheer blouse, could see such fine nips;
Like two tent-poles they pushed, with hard tips;
Fingers traced Sweet Thing's thighs,
Lightly following my eyes;
Then I stroked her warm tummy and hips!
--- Anon

Her lips got a more reddish tint;
My Sweet Thing was dropping a hint!
I pulled off my pants
To free up my lance;
Got going, while her eyes had that glint!
--- Anon

Into Heaven I plunged, hy-dee-ho!
Grinding groins, how it set us aglow!
And Sweet Thing just laughed
With joy when my shaft
Got her drenched with a seminal flow!
--- Anon

Now and then, sure, we both had to stop;
Had some fruit juice, and shared a gumdrop
In between the four lips;
Amidst tangling tongue tips!
Oh, my Sweet Thing! I climbed back on top!
--- Anon

After hours of this rip-snorting bout,
We were due to go home, without doubt;
"C'mon, more!" Sweet Thing whooped;
"No more, love, I'm pooped!"
I stood up, and my legs near gave out!
--- Anon

My Sweet Thing now grins like a shark;
Bought me something, she says, on a lark;
She just nudges and winks;
She won't tell, but methinks
It's a cod-piece that glows in the dark!
--- Allen Wolverton

There is a young woman from Riga
With morals depressingly meager.
She's seduced twice a week
By a lecherous Greek
If "seduced" is the word when she's eager.
--- Isaac Asimov

She blushed, did the cutie from Victor
When she told how the city dude tricked her
Into playing his way
Twice that day in the hay...
She fought, but he finally licked her.
--- Grand Prix Lim 76

A lady from Briston named Bligh,
Who all of her life had been shy,
Was cured in a week
By two Poles and a Greek,
Whom she met on the Island of Skye.
--- Michael Palin

In college a coed Miss Aker,
Her chosen career, Undertaker,
To conquer her charms
You must cross your arms
And if she smiles down, under take her.
--- Irving Superior P8311

His hand smoothes its way up my thigh.
I utter a soft little sign.
That lump's cellulite.
No wait. That's not right!
I'm blushing so hard I could die.
--- Marty

Perhaps we could start with the knee.
He kisses it gently for me.
There's room there between
For now he has seen
How very bow-legged I be.
--- Marty

If I place my hand on his chest
To feel his heart beat in his breast,
Then why does it race
All over the place?
If I don't touch him, that'd be best!
--- Marty

That still is not sensual, true?
Why don't I leave that up to you?
I will just relate
On our little date,
I came home all black and blue.
--- Marty

I don't think it needs to be said,
That Richard would like us both dead.
If we could but charm
His intentions from harm,
Back to getting young women in bed.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Teaching tricks to one so attentive
Is not hard if you're inventive.
I'm inspired by you
And the sweet things you do,
As your body to mine is augmentive.
--- Anon

But I will forgive your transgression,
And we'll share yet another hot session.
Be they brown or pale blue,
They'll soon fixate you,
Not let's get back to our horny wee lesson.
--- Jayne

More lovely thou art, dearest May,
Than a heavenly summer-time day;
My heart beats and thuds
For your darling sweet buds
As you see from my trouser affray.
--- Anon

The tight pants which were worn by Miss Pink
Would be hard to get into, I think.
Said Miss Pink, "It is plain
You'll get in without strain,
But first you must buy me a drink."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0296

The weather's so cold and so musty;
She was getting so fat, she looked busty.
There was many a man,
Try as he can,
Couldn't get what she had, saying "Trust me!"
--- Mischief

Until one particular feller
Grabbed hold of her hair long and yeller.
In the gamekeeper's cot,
His cue found per pot...
It was young Lady C. and old Mellors.
--- Tiddy Ogg

If you make it over today,
I won't mind if the storms stay.
I won't care anymore,
Just as long as you're
Here to cuddle and play.
--- Anon

A shrewed little cocksman named Canning
Haunts singles bars, carefully scanning
All the girls in a hunt
For a pushover cunt,
Which he says is "Cuntingency Planning".
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

I have this cute name for my Gwen;
I use the word "chicken" and then
We have some red wine
And she starts to recline.
But once, I forgot and said "hen".
--- Al Willis

This is file zul

A rascal far gone in lechery,
Lured maids to their doom by his treachery.
He invited them in
For the purpose of sin,
Though he said 'twas to look at his etchery.
--- Anon

The wife of a preacher named Weyman
Was seduced by a good-looking drayman.
And her husband said, "Nell,
I am madder than hell
To think you would fall for a layman."
--- Limber Limericks

There once was a man from Dayton,
Who got tired of sitting around waitin'.
So he packed his valise,
And he traveled a piece,
which improved his chances of matin'.
--- MrMalo

An extremely preoccupied tutor,
Was a charming but unthinking suitor;
Hence his girlfriend got mad,
And called him a cad,
When he inadvertently screwed her.
--- Margaret A Murdock P8311

I'll be there, Ladies, within hours,
Beforehand, you should expect flowers.
Now whatever we do,
I am trusting that you
Will not reveal all in the showers.
--- Anon

Through the window a spinster named Barrett
Observed a lad beating his carrot.
So she yelled, with arms crossed,
"This is Love's Labor Lost!
Why don't you come in and we'll share it."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1833

Though it never amounted to much,
I thought I was losing my touch,
Till I found a young maid
Asleep in a glade,
And she followed me home to my hutch.
--- Limber Limericks

A biology major named Max
Is abreast of mammalian facts!
He induces Caesareans
In the looser librarians
And seduces the stacked in the stacks.
--- Frances D Sails P8311

A lad selling lewd magazines
Encountered a lady of means.
She claimed strong moral fiber,
But became a subscriber
When he once penetrated her jeans.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1368

A fragile young maid from Brome Lake
Was obsessed by the fear she might break,
But succumbed in the end
To the plea of a friend
That "I promise to mend what I make."
--- Hugh Oliver 46b

There's nothing wrong with our Trudy,
She's never cross or too moody.
I'll take her to bed;
Maybe she'll give some head;
Then I'll be happier truely.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A fervent young lad set aflame
An elderly spinster named Mame.
So she took out her pad
And she said to him, "Lad,
Tell me what is the name of this game?"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1303

There was a young girl named Flo,
When asked if to bed she would go,
Said, "What do you think?
If you buy me a drink,
You know I'll never say No!"
--- Jon Makin

There was a young man from the Nile,
Who amours lacked savoir and style.
He preferred open country
And brazen effrontery,
To the wiles of conventional guile.
--- John Ciardi

"Appalling!", said Mrs. O'Shay,
The ways of young lovers today.
They grope and they paw
And grapple some more,
In order to get them a lay.
--- Anon

Many seemed to decide it's no use;
The carefully made plan to seduce
Their love 'neath the moon,
To make her heart swoon,
'Fore releasing that hot, sticky juice.
--- Clement Woods 1943 P0601

There really is no high art
In getting her legs spread apart.
In order to sip
From those fuzzied lips
And guide in that rigid love dart.
--- Anon

He's certainly not Mr. Right,
But the way that I'm feeling tonight,
This Mr. Right Now
Looks good anyhow.
I don't think I'll put up a fight.
--- Marlene

We know what you're thinking are few;
In fact, I think there are just two:
You want to lay me?
You like what you see?
Not questions, but statements -- both blue.
--- Marlene Lewis

I spoke to my old mate Dim Jim,
Of this, and, as oft is his whim,
He claimed sexy Freda
And beer's all you need... a
Warm bed, such a sinner 'n' 'im.

There was a young lover from Bristol
Whose motives were clear as pure crystal.
He invited some lass
To have lunch on the grass --
A target for use by his pistil.
--- Armand E Singer 223

Monique, a French dame from Paree,
Sat in a cafe eating brie.
Along came Marcel...
Looking ever so swell,
And now they are panting "Oui oui!"
--- Pam steadman TP9804

He quietly asks her to stay,
Watch sci-fi and clips of D-day.
The room's dimly lit;
She fingers her clit;
Now happily relaxed, come what may.
--- Emma Mara

Distracted, this wasn't the plan;
No complaint does she hear from her man.
As she lets out a sigh,
Guides his hand down her thigh;
Brings new meaning to Dish on demand.
--- Emma Mara

While watching "Two men in a boat,"
She fumbled to find his remote.
With buttons undone,
She had so much fun,
It brought quite a lump to her throat.
--- SFA

When a lady feels low," says McGee,
"Make your help both effective and free.
Steer clear of analysis
And suggest instead, phalluses:
I have found that she'll always agree."
--- G0121

A maid on a farm outside Mold,
Once said to a shepherd, "I'm told
That you have a fine ram.
Now, I'd make a good dam,
So why not come into my fold?"
--- Harold C Bibby

He tried to kiss and romance her;
He asked if he might de-pants her.
She replied, "No way!"
Then I heard him say,
"Is that your final answer?"
--- Anon

"My final answer it is;
I only allowed you a kiss!
You think that romance
Will win you my pants?
Try getting a larger penis!"
--- Anon

On a survey of first dates Prof. Ness,
Asked girls, "Would you care to undress?"
He found 84.6
Said, indignantly, "Nix!"
But that 15.4 answered "Yes!"
--- John Ciardi A

Said a genial, self-confident chap,
To the pretty young thing on his lap,
"Of course you can't leave.
You're here to conceive,
And you'll love it, so don't be a sap."
--- Isaac Asimov

In opera, often called horse,
The heroine, rescued (of course)
From hands of a villain
For whom she "warn't willin'",
Submits to more chivalrous force.
--- R J Winkler P8412

Al Nino, predictor of weather,
Pursued a young virgin named Heather;
Pondering the chance
To get into her pants,
Looked into her eyes to tell whether.
--- Tom Patton P9807