At the last dance, a scoundrel from Media,
Picked a wallflower and whispered, "I needia!"
Said the maiden undaunted,
It's nice to be wanted,
But you could have been just a bit speedia."
--- John Ciardi

There was a young lady of Formia,
Whose housekeeping ways would disarm ya.
When there came a cold snap,
She'd climb in your lap,
So her little base-burner could warm ya.
--- L0033

Vidi a young Latin lass,
And vici her heart and her ass.
She fondled genteely
My membrum virile,
`ut veni to quickly, alas.
--- Peter Wilkins a

I have traveled the whole world around,
And I've heard many questions profound.
But in old Bucharest,
This question was best:
"Would you like to start fooling around?"
--- Al Willis P9702

There was a young suitor named Oliver,
Whose surname, ill-suited, was Tolliver.
When of his Intended
Asked how much he wanted,
Said Oliver Tolliver "All of her!"
--- Laurence Perrine P8405

A wee Scottish lass called Miss Baird,
Was seduced by the son of the laird.
With some crude hanky panky,
Above Killie Crankie;
She feared, but she dared, and she bared.
--- Anon

A caliph who came from Kabili,
Complained that his harem was chilly;
So all his wives said,
"Then let's go to bed
And let us not dally or dilly."
--- Harold C Bibby P9710

A bottle of wine would be fine
Though I'm more accustomed to "whine";
But I shouldn't mince this,
I'm a bonafide princess
of the Jewish-American kind.
--- Anon

And I wonder if you'd like to see
A little bit more about me.
Before we begin
(She said with a grin)
Or is this just irrelevancy?
--- Anon

Well Cheri, without being rude
(I'm a gentleman, never too crude)
It would thrill me to bits
If you showed me your tits;
'Twould get both of us right in the mood.
--- Anon

Each morning a farm girl named Mears
Would answer each time that she hears
With "Any cock'll do,"
Then smiling would pick up her ears.
--- Irving Superior P9011

It was plain that she had a strong yen.
She asked him to come to her den.
They imbibed of the grape,
They came and went ape,
And she asked him to please come again.
--- Al Willis P9710

A gentleman doesn't hold back
When those animal passions attack.
And her quivering quim
Is quite desperate for him;
To be forceful and fill up her crack.
--- Anon

Superwoman Mary McNair
Met superman Rocky Adair.
With a flash of her eyes
And a showing of thighs,
She soon had him bedded and bare.
--- Clif Gauss P8401

I've a teddy of black lace and then
Garters and silk stocking so thin,
The siletto high heels
Just meant for thrills;
Come to me when you have a yen.
--- Anon

There was a young maid from Kuwait
Who was rated as tops on a date.
Though she started out slow,
'Twas the lads who cried "Whoa!"
At a point we're not free to relate.
--- Bennet Cerf Coll P9210

A very handsome young male,
I was eagerly plying with ale.
He said, "Want the 'deed',
Like a book, I can read
you"! That book had better be Braille!
--- Anon

Toss the boxers aside without care;
I'll toss my shirt in the chair.
Forget Scots and kilts,
And before that thing wilts,
Bring it over to me if you dare.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

It doesn't take much to amuse
A guy with his pants 'round his shoes,
When a lecherous old fart
Finds a bold little tart,
Making offers he just can't refuse.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A bashful young bachelor Cleary,
Of girls was exceedingly leary.
Then a lady named Lou
Showed him how and with who
He could render his evenings more cheery.
--- Anon

There was a young lady named Beverly,
Whose house was a place for much revelry.
She induced a young man
To sit on her divan,
And there she seduced him quite cleverly.
--- Albin Chaplin

"...Of a cock of that size, on a boy
Your age, really filled me with joy,
So give it some welly,
Stick that in my belly...
Come on, don't be bashful and coy."

Maybe a single wet kiss'll
Unleash your heat-seeking missile;
Or maybe a peek
At the heat that it seeks;
Or perhaps it will come when I whistle.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A promiscuous lady named Ada
Seduced the whole crew of a freighter.
But the purser named Banks
Said, "Thanks, but no thanks,
I'm afraid I'll fall into that crater."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0410

A moral young lad who was trusting
Was stopped by a girl who was lusting,
For a man with a prick,
So she dropped her pants quick,
But the hole thing, he said, was disgusting.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0362

I've been celibate now for so long,
Every frankfurter looks like a dong;
I've a halo incrust-
ed with diamonds and rust
That I'll let you have for a s(chl)ong.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8602

"Oh Boy! Come here won't you please?
Don't stand over there, you big tease.
Let's not quibble,
I just want a nibble.
I'm here for you, down on my knees.
--- Ginger

There was a young lady of Stockholm
Who took through the park a long walk home,
And at home did arrive
With a man who could drive --
Yes, he knew how to drive the old cock home.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0348

The wife of a star-gazing man
Said, "I've taken all that I can.
Your looking at Venus
Has quite come between us.
It's time you examined my tan."
--- Macsam

There was a young lady named Gloria,
Whose boyfriend said, "May I explore ya?"
She replied to the chap,
"I'll draw you a map,
Of where others have been to before ya."
--- G1557

A handsome young widow named Vi,
Seduced all the wardens nearby.
When the siren said, "Woo!"
What else could they do,
To extinguish the gleam in her eye?
--- L1593

"My God!" screamed devout Mrs. Pike,
As she fondled the stableman's spike.
"This is quite out of place,
And a great loss of face,
But I think I have fallen in like!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

If chased by a young piece of skirt,
Then, of course, I am tempted to flirt.
Whether more, I can tell
From the way that I swell
And the pressure my trousers exert.
--- Anon

This is file ztl

Experts say, "When it comes to wooing,
Passionate kisses are ensuing.
Just like a spider's web,
Spun by a pretty deb,
Always leads to a fly's undoing."
--- Thomas Patton P0306

An eager young file clerk named Irma
Once said, with an amorous murmur,
"I've chosen just one
Of my bosses for fun,
'Cause I'm giving my all for the firm-er."
--- Isaac Asimov

A Panther girl stuck in a tree
Spied a warrior taking a pee.
So she dropped from above
And gave him her love,
And threw in a shave job for free.
--- Minx Kelly

To satisfy sexual greed,
Girls, here's the advice you should heed:
Board a bus in Penzance,
Pretend you're in a trance,
You'll get all the action you need.
--- Ed Potts P8507A

Miss Gracie Mae Hopper from Lynn (MA)
Is a super inducement to sin --
Curvacious, flirtatious,
Voracious -- good gracious!
Give up, get it up, and go in!
--- Lance Payne P8805

A young lady who came from the South,
Said she'd give her ass free to McLauth.
He said, "Show what I'm getting."
She replied, "Stop your fretting;
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0341

As they rode to the ton, Mr. Brown
Slipped his prick 'neath the young lady's gown.
When they reached the top floor,
She requested some more,
So she asked if he'd like to go down.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1246

She called up her girlfriend to say
That her life was in sad disarray.
"I caught hubby Fred
Making love on the bed."
"That's great, I got mine the same way."
--- Charles E Midlam P9702a

I met this sweet girl in Des Moines.
I bought her a thick tenderloin.
We went to her pad,
We kissed, and egad!
'Twas then I felt hands on my groin.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

After things were made ready with pains.
My dear lover this night was detained.
My bed is prepared
And was meant to be shared.
Here's a handsome man. Need I explain?
--- David Finley

Let me put my possessions in storage,
And release all my cattle to forage;
If the lady reported
Wants her creams now assorted,
I'll be happy to help stir the porridge.
--- Anon

A student of Schoolmistress Maud
With masculine passion was gnawed.
And served with high honor
When asked to mount on her
(His sheepskin read Magna Come Laud).
--- Norm Storer

He asked "What's a nice girl like you
Doing hanging around in this zoo?"
So I took him upstairs
And showed him my wares;
When he left he was slightly askew.
--- Anon

Dora thought he was hopelessly gay
But she managed to lead him astray,
And told friends with a sigh
That he sure wasn't dry,
And his head was screwed on the right way.
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P9003

When this girl desires a man,
She set up an erotica plan.
When she is ready,
She gives them all heady
Delighting while they feel her can.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

An Idaho gal named Miss Grange
Roamed the hills for a purpose quite strange.
When she found a young hick,
She would measure his prick,
And if long, drive it Home On The Range.
--- G0602

Once again, there is really no doubt,
'Bout which sex with I like to hang out.
So leer if you must
And satiate your lust,
But what if my wife should find out?
--- Robyn

A lazy, fat fellow named Betts,
Upon his fat ass mostly sets.
Along came a gal
And said, "I'll fuck you, pal!"
He said, "If you'll do the work, let's."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A steamy young slut in Carmel
Told her boyfriend, "We can't very well
Do it here, for my folks
Don't care for slow pokes.
Lets fuck in a modern motel!"
--- G2288

I'm wearing a teddy of lace;
The kind that is meant to encase
A woman's best charms
And delicate arms;
I'm waiting here for your embrace.
--- Anon

The gorgeous young gal looked so beddable,
She even impressed one as edible.
And on the first date
She said, "Let's not wait!"
--- Ken Elrod P8209

There was a young lady from Lynn (MA)
Who had such a penchant for sin,
That hardly a lout
That invited her out
But she shortly invited him in.
--- Lance Payne P8805

I'd better stop now, 'cause my Erm
In deshabille's making me firm.
She does not need to ask
If I'm up to the task,
Of giving a dose of my sperm.
--- Anon

A lonely surveyor named Shand,
Gave in to a native's demand:
She was eager to screw.
It was then that Shand knew,
He'd at last got the lay of the land!
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner

She looked at me, mortified.
"I didn't know you had more to hide!
The things you've been in --
I know it's a sin.
But this time we'll just let it slide."
--- Peter Derr

A voracious old dough-cook from Trent
Felt that milkmen were all heaven-sent.
She lured them with pies,
And then locked her great thighs,
Till they fell out quite battered and bent.
--- David A Brooks Q

There was a young lodger named Byrd,
Who woke in the night. Had he heard
Something stir? Was a hand,
Softly fondling his gland?
Yes, he had, and it was. 'Pon my word!
--- John Ciardi

My mother advised, "Never wed
The first woman who takes you to bed,
Unless the loose bitch
Is uncommonly rich--
Then propose to the darling," she said.
--- William N Nesbit P9605 a

It is possible that you have heard,
Badminton is not so absurd.
This gal who was built
Showed no sense of guilt
When she had her way with my bird.
--- Al Willis P9511

You boss me around; that you do.
Are you jealous my coochity-coo?
Now if Romance's high
And I see eye to eye,
Then sweet Romance is next in the queue.
--- Anon

There once was a girl with a clit,
That had its own mind and quick wit.
It peered from the hood
And said, "If you would
Nibble me first, then the tit...."
--- Funny Bone

A young girl knows how to entice
A boy to the pleasures of vice.
Just how she does so;
Here's all that I know:
It's "nice" -- meaning sweet and precise.
--- Laurence Perrine P8503

A cosy young maid from the West
Invited me up to her nest;
She had made it of twigs
And mistletoe sprigs,
And I didn't get very much rest.
--- Lims Unlimited

An Irish colleen named O'Venus
Took hold of a gentleman's penis.
Said she, "Let's undress,
And when I confess,
I can say there was nothing between us."
--- Joseph Kesselring P8312V