No need for liguisticky chores
Or lessons from spectacled bores,
Just whisper, "Prosciutto
Con funghi e tutto..."
You'll soon be inside her moist drawers.
--- Anon

My boyfriend seduced me one night,
And oh, what a gorgeous delight.
With tickles of passion,
We made a new fashion
Of sex in the fairest moonlight.
--- Roy Herselman

Perhaps I can make that girl trill,
Not by causing a womberful spill,
But by tickling her fancy,
Then making her antsy,
And presenting my inflated bill!
--- Lo and Behold T9707

The teller said she was invincible,
But the banker thought she was convincible.
So he set down her figure
And he proved with some rigor,
That the interest negated the principle.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0214

I think it is heavenly bliss
When seduction's moved on from a kiss
And I use the line,
"Why's a joint, Dear, like mine
Inside of a lady like this?"
--- John Miller

You're joint's in a lady like this --
'Cause you're lucky! Gimme a kiss
And I'll show you mine.
Trust me, that's no line.
My 34D's induce bliss.
--- Bonnie

Though I am quite sure that your D's
Are a pair that is certain to please,
My wife read your post
And says that the most
I'm allowed is a nice friendly squeeze.
--- Archie

Yes, squeezes can come in all types,
But let's just avoid spousal gripes.
Yes, we'll just shake hands
And control our glands,
We'll just have to talk about...pipes?
--- Bonnie

A couple of fittings I've here;
All female, so let's check your gear.
If I give a lift,
Perhaps you can shift
Your joint into place, near the rear?
--- Bonnie

There once was a heavy-hung Hindu
Who coaxed every maid, "Let me in-do!"
His drooping moustache
Would tickle her gash,
And the hair on his balls made her grin, too!
--- G2700

I will sing you a love seranade,
Or buy you a jewel made of jade.
Or give you my money,
But I know you, Honey,
I'm sure you would rather get laid.
--- Carol

Your hand gently rubbing my thighs,
That sexy look from your brown eyes.
Lights up the fire,
Of love and desire,
And of course those little white lies.
--- Anon

I think of you daily for hours,
Comparing your limbs to the flowers,
But I battle my lust
For your lips and your bust
By taking a lot of cold showers.
--- Larry Davis P8601

"Watch out!" warned a damsel in France;
"Let his hand reach the fuzz in your pants,
While his other hot mitt
Clamps onto a tit,
And your maidenhead don't stand a chance!"
--- G1553

Merely sighting the tits on Miss Slattery
Will recharge tired satyr's old battery.
Those who've made her have said
That to get her in bed
Requires muscle, martinis, and flattery.
--- Grand Prix Lim 160 A

Seducing shy virgins to sin
Takes more that sweet talking and gin:
An all-out seduction
Is a major production,
And it may take you hours to get in.
--- Grand Prix Lim 809 G1609A

She was pretty and young and alive;
She came by on a membership drive.
I invited her in
And led her to sin --
I had my own member to drive!
--- John Miller 0164

To a gentleman friend she said, "Honey,
Of course I'm not after your money."
Though she was a dear,
Her meaning was clear:
"Me not care for money? That's funny!"
--- Norm Storer P9505

My lover is fond of massage,
So I rub her with creamy fromage,
And a soft tickle give her,
Till her quim starts to quiver,
Then go in with my steaming sau-sage.
--- Wandering Loon

The newlywed wife of young Fred
Called up at the office and said,
"I have carpets on stairs
And remodeled the chairs,
And I have a new spread on the bed."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2579

A Nez Perce squaw from the prairie,
Of sex and such nonsense was wary,
Till a well-hung Apache
Got her down in Wenatchee--
Now he milks her along with the dairy.
--- G0800

A woman shared with me her plight;
Could find no man to do the deed right.
I offered to boff her;
She honored my offer;
It was 'offer' and 'honor' all night!
--- Trainman

To a lady he found rather fetching,
He said, "Let me show you my etching."
But he was a Gent,
The guy really meant:
"Hey baby, I'm hot for some leching!"
--- Norm Storer P9505

A sailor who sailed on the sea,
Was clever as clever could be.
He would tell every girl,
"There is only one pearl!"
And every girl thought it was she!
--- John Miller 0068

So put out the ice and champagne
And the oysters; they're good for my brain.
And they'll raise my libido
To equal your greed. Oh
My Petal, you drive me insane.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

OH SHIT! I forgot the champagne!
There's a liquor store, corner of Main.
I'll be back with a stiffy ...
... I mean, in a jiffy ...
You've got me all flustered again.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young man of Belgrade,
Who planned to seduce a fair maid.
And as it befell
He succeeded quite well,
And the maid, like the plan, was well laid.
--- Isaac Asimov A

A statuesque woman from Gorham
Was a model of poise and decorum.
But that was before
She went to the shore
And stayed overnight at the Shoreham.
--- Lims Unlimited

Determined, a fucker named Breen
Was lustfully idling yestreen; (last eve)
His target some wench,
Most probably French,
Whose morals were simply obscene.
--- Armand Singer

Recreation is sometimes a lark
In an automobile in the dark.
If the fellow is brash,
It doesn't take cash,
But only a quiet place to park.
--- A N Wilkins P8610

There's a nip in the air, love, tonight.
The moon is above to the right.
The trees are a-swaying,
A love song I'm playing...
Please don't say you won't, say you might!
--- Vinny the Face T9710

An amateur satyr named Stew
Has found work as a waiter in Kew.
But his purpose, it's clear,
Is to locate a dear
Who, if he can date her, will screw.
--- Norm Storer

I watched her sit still as the sphinx
Devoid of expression or blinks
Like my sandwich, plain boring
As if she's ignoring
All the male species, methinks.
--- Doug Harris P0504

This is file zll

But surprise! I had missed all her winks;
She turned out to be number 1 minx.
We're both now on flexi
With time to get sexy,
And explore every one of her kinks.
--- Doug Harris P0504

Touching all chords of her woman's heart,
He plead his suit with highest art.
Perplexed, confused,
With love suffused,
She slowly sighed her legs apart.
--- W L McAtee G0090

A young lion tamer named Pete
Plays a game all the girls think is neat.
They stretch out and purr
When he strokes on their fur,
Then roar when he slips them the meat.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8712

There once was a smooth-talking Druid,
Whose manner of living was lewd.
He'd engage Druid lasses,
In small talk--no passes,
But the first thing they knew, they'd been screwed.
--- John Ciardi

Whether it's large or pip-squeak,
I offer you all this technique:
Rub square on her G
With a finger or three,
While lickin' her love-nub oblique.
--- H Welchel

A dirty old pilot, while flying,
Has all of the pretty girls sighing,
By praising their twats in
Both Greek and Latin,
Then fucking them till they were dying.
--- Anon

I found as a lad in my teens,
Of all my hormonal routines,
The Lord's Prayer in French
Lit fires I would quench,
As my date wriggled out of her jeans.
--- Anon

A loquacious, though salty, old sailor,
On meeting a lass would impale her.
"For," one said, "what it's worth,
Though your harpoon lacked girth,
I sure fancy the tales of a whaler."
--- Dr Limerick modifiedP9410

The chef was an avid young learner;
The maid said his acts did concern her.
She perceived he had class
And was cooking with gas,
But she asked him to try the front burner.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0933

A brazen hi-fi fan named Walter
Lured a girl to his audio altar.
As she studied his tweeter
He plugged in his peter:
'Twas coaxial bliss to assault her.
--- G0750a

A natural normal affliction
This limerick fuction addiction;
The rhythm and beat
Of the meter is sweet,
For seduction and suction and friction.
--- Anon

It seems a young damsel named Spenser,
Than whom few young damsels are denser,
Was beguiled by the flattery
Of a satyr named Slattery...
What later occurred we must censor!
--- G0188

Now you might kiss my...Oh no, I can't!
But I'd love you to...Nah, well I shan't!
Could we lay down a bit --
Or at least...may I sit?
As my knees get weak I cannot grant...
--- Anon

...That I can still master my mind.
I'm afraid that too soon I may find
I could no longer hide
This feeling inside,
At which sight I try hard to be blind.
--- Anon

My love, you've the brightest of eyes,
And the loveliest hair, as it lies
There framing your face --
Oh, your lips I must taste,
For their beauty description defies.
--- Anon

It's my heart - it is pounding like hell;
When you're holding me, it feels so well.
To my mind comes a word
Which I somewhere have heard
(And I wonder if it rings a bell?)
--- Anon

We rob death of its victory, yes
And the grave of its stinging caress;
For to die, having found
Such a pleasure profound,
Means life was a flawless success.
--- Anon

So mount, and with passion, let's fly
To the peak of Olympus on high,
And together we'll reach
A zenith for each:
I ache for the sound of your sigh.
--- Anon

I have missed you all week.
I've read all your writings (I peek).
Down here it is spring;
Libidos take wing;
Your autumn is being quite meek.
--- Archie

A moonlight night -- in a boat;
Let's have all our fun while afloat.
No, it has no screw;
I'll have to row you.
(You know, down here, we've got to vote!)
--- Archie

We must be fifty yards off shore.
I don't think I can row any more.
(In a car, I'd talk
Of petrol, a walk)
I doubt that this quietness will bore.
--- Archie

We'll watch the full moon up thar
Out over the Isle of Arra.
Hands are for holding,
Not just for folding,
While you show to me the Pole Star.
--- Archie

I'll quote some Omar Khayyam
(I'm just a trite horny old ham)
Time slips 'neath our feet;
But today is sweet --
My love for this verse is no sham.
--- Archie

My moving fingers write not, they
Unbutton and unclothe and may
Even tickle your bum,
While questing for some
Secret places where they may stay.
--- Archie

And play and then tease and arouse;
You know this could go on for hours.
While I'm kissing your lips,
You're moving your hips --
No longer a shy little mouse.
--- Archie

And the rhythmical motion,
Is just the result of emotion --
I've brought a good red,
Careful, it'll go to your head.
(Though that could lead to coition)
--- Archie

And yes, it did! But so slow
We just keep moving with the flow.
The small waves make
Our little boat shake --
I use much the same motion to row.
--- Archie

The big moon will soon be downsetting;
On shore our dogs are a-fretting.
Soon back to the shore,
Face real life once more.
I'll remember all of our petting.
--- Archie

Feeling weary, I've just reread this.
Now you'd better not go take a piss.
I'm reaching the pits --
There's no mention of tits,
Or other rude places I've missed.
--- Archie

Psychology used on a child,
Will drive a young college girl wild;
Since she is so curious,
She's gonna be furious;
That sweet thing will feel so beguiled.
--- Anon

And, honey, you don't have to wait;
Come 'round to your private back gate;
My door's always open
For you, and I'm hopin'
To get something between us real straight!
--- Anon

I know that seducing in parks
Is crass - it should be at Jacques,
A small French Hotel,
One I know very well;
My exploits are noted on plaques!
--- Anon

Ma Cherie, come with me now to France.
Tonight, together we'll dance.
Aaah, the wine and the food
With all of it's good,
And then I'll get into your pants!
--- Anon

Now I ain't quite sure how you'd romance
A beautiful woman in France;
But it sure sounds to me
Like it surely must be
Pretty hard to look cool in her pants.
--- Anon