Nude Jane who just happened to glance
At the hedge and drew back askance,
Then covered up, wriggling,
And gave a shout, giggling...
Oh Mum, look that dog's wearing pants!
--- Anon

I started perversions quite young,
On cunnies of bunnies, and bung.
I'd tell you lots more
From "Aardvak" to "Whore",
But right now, the cat's got my tongue.
--- John Miller

It seems Jim's a bit of a turd;
And also a pervert, I've heard.
Somes girls that he dated,
His perversions rated,
And I think that Jim came in third.
--- David Miller

My neighbor wears real sexy clothes;
The reason she does, heaven knows.
But there in her house
Both she and her spouse
Are always surrounded by beaux.
--- David Miller

Their daughter, I fear, is as bad;
Been flashing her boobs at my lad.
At night when he dreams,
I'm awakened by screams,
And grunts while he's shooting his wad.
--- SFA

Said Nathan, convicted sex felon,
Deprovara helps keep down my swellin'.
But I still lose my poise
When I bathe little boys,
While fondled in turn by Aunt Helen.
--- John Miller

Said Nathan, "My withered old dick
No longer was up to the trick
Till I found a nurse
Who wasn't adverse
To a gentle massage and a lick."
--- John Miller

Said Nathan, "They said I was sick
For yearning to slice up a dick.
Then I got my degree
And earned my M.D.
And now I get paid for my schtick."
--- John Miller

Said Nathan, "You know that I'm prone
To perversions when I get a bone.
But you wouldn't believe
What I can achieve
Just getting some people a loan!"
--- John Miller

Said Nathan, "Don't think it's a bore
Coaching girls who've won nothing before.
Though our chance at a win
Is exceedingly thin,
I still can assure you, I score!"
--- John Miller

Said Nathan, "The girls here are swell;
They serve all my needs very well.
They never resist
Or get pissed when they're kissed;
Don't yell and don't swell and don't tell!"
--- John Miller

I'd guess by the theme of your text
That Nathan is using safe sex.
For the girls that I screw
Put up such a to-do,
That I shan't use my fist on the next.
--- John Miller

Said Nathan, "The proper pets make
My clientele quiver and quake.
Be it pussy to stroke,
Or a poodle to poke,
Or a taste of my fine trouser snake."
--- John Miller

Said Nathan, "I have in my flock
Fine hens, and some pullets in stock,
Which you horny young gents
Can access through the fence,
While you ladies can play with my cock."
--- John Miller

Perversions in here are quite few,
Just sheep, cows, dogs, goats and a ewe.
It's good then to find,
You've the same sort of mind
As us, and some fetishes new.
--- Anon

A dork called a girl for the thrill
Of phone sex, then slept fast until
He woke the next morn.
And now he's forlorn
Because of his long distance bill!
--- Travis Brasell

According to Miss Hannah Finnema,
The boss at our local sleaze cinema,
For only a pittance,
The price of admittance
Includes a choice screw and cold enema.
--- Anon

You speak of my sexual perversion.
I freely admit that immersion
Of my little willie
In things willy-nilly,
Provides me with pleasant diversion.
--- Anon

But as for the thumb up the ass,
I'd rather the cunt of a lass
To thus use my digit;
She'll squirm and she'll fidget,
And pray for me when she takes mass.
--- Anon

Today there are only too few
Perversions which still are taboo.
To stop the decay
Of our puritan way,
We must think up taboos that are new.
--- Alex Heydon P0503

As I undressed my old whore called Pam,
I found blood dripping from her clam.
Said I, "How neat!
This is right up my street.
I got into wound-fucking in 'Nam.
--- Travis Brasell

If ever with sex I am bored,
With Jane, epileptic, I've scored.
I flash lights a bit,
To give her a fit,
Then see how long I stay aboard.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Delights of my life aren't forgotten;
For instance, that boff in the cotton
Last week with Sue Ginty
Who died there in '20
And thus, has grown perfectly rotten.
--- Travis Brasell

The one thing I've never regretted
Is having my old member wetted
By Sweet Sarah's tongue.
She too, did die young
And thus had a breath rather fetid.
--- SFA

I'm fond of the youthfully shorn;
When eating, it gives me the horn.
Though not supposed to bite it,
It gets me excited,
The crunch of the sucked out newborn.
--- Cyber Wizard

I've learned, when I'm tonguing old Sue,
That the semi-gelatinous goo
That exudes from her twat,
Like low-tide flavored snot,
Is quite yummy when served on toast, too.
--- Clu

You know of the family Waites,
The one any decent sort hates:
While their ma gets her kicks
Watching daddy suck pricks,
The youngest, of course masturbates.
--- Armand Singer

Said the spiral vice-president, Twist,
Who never a buck could resist,
"I'll eat shit off the slit
Or perhaps off a tit,
Just as long as my asshole is kissed."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2349

A perverted old hooker named Lux
Said, "I have to feel pain when I fucks:
To get whipped and eat shit
While I fingers the clit--
(This stuff really brings in the bucks!)"
--- G2161

On being "not hard" you are right
As it rammed up yer ass, my delight!
Your screams woke the cat
Who came in and shat,
And you gobbled it up in one bite.
--- Anon

I once knew a person named Nick;
When my ass needed wiping, he'd lick.
With a swipe of his tongue,
He'd clean out my bung,
And sometimes he'd tickle my prick.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A young man of "consuming" renown,
In a pie-eating contest near town,
Was injured quite badly,
When suddenly, sadly,
The old cow, without warning, sat down.
--- Observer

A cranky old woman from Nottage
Lived alone by the sea in a cottage.
She ate solely sea food,
But it did her no good;
She died eating homemade crap pottage.
--- G1507

This is file uyl

There was a young man of the Tweed,
Who sucked his wife's arse through a reed.
When she had diarrhea
He'd let none come near,
For fear they should poach on his feed.

(Published 1879)
--- L0798

I'd like a good laugh tonight;
Do this and I'll howl with delight.
Here's what I have planned:
You just shit in your hand,
And then while it steams take a bite.
--- Anon

The story about Nick and Kelly:
In his mouth she would frequently pee;
With a squat and a grump,
In her mouth he would dump.
She gladly eats his shit for free.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young fellow of Kent
Who had a peculiar bent.
He collected the turds
Of various birds,
And had them for lunch during Lent.
--- L0779

A freak by the name of Old Nate
Liked to take a dump on his plate.
The fruit of his bung
Never touches his tongue;
He fried it and served to his mate.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

At the foot of a heap full of dung,
Where I lay, licking turds from mom's bung.
I love there to play,
Though mom passed away,
Ten years back when I was still young.
--- Anon

For dinner the soldiers were clustered --
To a man they complained and they blustered.
The accepted the soup
Which was made from elk poop,
But the moose turds were lacking in mustard.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2949

There was a young man from Tijuana,
Who declared as he wallowed in guano,
"It may seem imbecilic
To be so coprophilic,
I indulge in it just 'cause I wanna."
--- L0757

There was an old nurse called Mags,
Who did colostomies for fags.
To make sure they'd not burst,
And to quench her thirst,
She'd guzzle the stuff in the bags.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A moody young pervert called Walter'd
Moan, "My coprophilia's faltered.
A tasty supply
Is so hard to come by.
Shit! I wish that my lifestyle was al-tered." (all turd?)
--- G1517

The Mayor of Boston, it seems,
Was troubled with repeating beans.
With commendable wit,
He encased them in shit,
And sold them as chocolate creams.
--- G1512

There was a young girl of Antietam,
Who liked horse turds so well she could eat 'em.
She'd lie on their rumps
And swallow the lumps
As fast as the beasts could excrete 'em.
--- L0765

There was a young man of Jodhpur
Who found he could easily cure
His dread diabetes
By eating a foetus
Served up in a sauce of manure.
--- L0297

A stargazing blogger named Lauren
Would flood when a beau put his oar in.
The sturdy young skipper
Who lapped her big dipper,
Announced "It ain't rain, but it's pourin'."
--- Anon

While licking the ass of King Kivvel,
The duchess came out with some drivel.
She ran into a turd
And she said a bad word,
So he told her to keep her tongue civil.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1270

There once was a fellow named Byrd,
Who tasted a poisonous turd;
He chewed it with grace,
Made a hell of a face,
And then, died, without saying a word.
--- Cap'n Bean

There once was a young boy called Nick
Who asked if the bowl he could lick.
"No way!" said his mum,
"Now go wipe your bum!
Pull the Flush! Now you make me feel sick!"
--- Donald McGill

There once lived a young man named Bart
Whose girl was kind of a tart.
She'd bury her tongue
About a foot up his bung;
Licking shit was her favorite sport.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A lady who lives in New Delhi
Has habits disgusting and smelly.
She likes to eat feces
Of various species.
(The recipe is tattooed on her belly.)
--- Anon

There was a young man from the coast,
Who ate melted shit on his toast.
When the toast saw the shit,
It collapsed in a fit,
For the shit was its grandfather's ghost.
--- L0769

I understand your disgrace,
I don't want to be in your place.
Some odd things remain;
Please try to explain
The shit-eating grin on your face.
--- M Jay

A smattering of applause could be heard,
When the Carney ate the fresh turd.
And to keep from choking,
His his dick he was stroking,
He drank urine, shaken, not stirred!

(like James Bond)
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A mannerly fellow named Phyfe
Was greatly distressed by his wife,
For whenever she was able
She'd shit on the table,
And gobble the shit, with her knife!
--- L0790

Fecal Eaters Support Group was stuck
In a catering search gone amuck.
Did they ever succeed
With their big catered feed?
Better yet! The made it "Pot Luck"
--- Jeff Iverson

There once was a chef from Peru,
Who had a fixation with poo.
This peculiar chap
Would go for a crap,
Then he'd mix it all up in his stew!
--- Anon

There was an old man of Seringapatam,
Besmeared his wife's anus with raspberry jam,
Then licked off the sweet
And pronounced it a treat,
And for public opinion, he cared not a damn.

(Published 1870)
--- L0796

A contortionist by the name Draper
Wouldn't wipe himself with toilet paper.
He'd clean his bung
With the tip of his tongue,
To relish the taste and the vapor.
--- John Chastaine T9707

An explorer whose habits were blunt,
Once flavored some cannibal cunt.
The asshole was shitty,
And--more was the pity,
It oozed from the rear to the front.
--- L0385

Once I ate some dirt off the ground.
And then ate some seeds that I found.
You won't believe it.
Squash grew in my shit!
I sold it for five bucks a pound.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

At A&M you'd be a hit.
One bit of confusion, to wit:
This market you've found,
The five bucks a pound,
Is that for the squash or the shit?
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Five bucks a pound, that's for a mix.
Of squash and shit blended with sticks.
I stir it quite well,
Enjoying the smell,
And then give the sticks lapping licks.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young lady named Pat,
Who said: I do so love scat.
But the first guy she bore,
Said: You vile depraved whore;
You'd have to be sick to do that.
--- Alexander Baron

Her old age caused his shit-eatin' grin;
Her incontinence brought him chagrin;
He lifted her frock
For oral - a shock!
He found Pampers which leaked on his chin!
--- Anon