Pamela Anderson Lee
Said, "Would you like a glass of my pee?"
He replied, "Not right now dear...
I'm as hungry as a bear!
Go shit on that plate for me!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a young man named Powells,
Who sucked shit from a dead man bowels.
When he couldn't get this,
He'd drink prostitute's piss,
And eat scrapings from sanitary towels.
--- Anon

A fresh-picked turd from your ass,
Roll it up and drop in a glass.
For pure refreshment bliss,
Add two squirts of piss;
I called it a Shit Sassafras.
--- Helveticus TP9806

In his back alley shack in Mattoon,
Rumor has it an ignorant goon
Gathers feces from snakes
For the icing on cakes,
Which he spreads on quite thin with a spoon.
--- G1503

There once was a man from Minot,
Who drank up a barrel of snot.
Though flavored with sugar,
It turned into a booger,
And a slimy green feces he got.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The sparrow and horse have begun
A friendship that's second to none.
This is proof, I submit,
That if one can eat shit,
Then two can live cheaply as one.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1190

A perverted young lady called Grace
Took a naive young man to her place.
Ignoring his howls,
She sucked out his bowels,
And spat it all back in his face.
--- Anon

The reason he's giving no smiles,
Despite all her feminine wiles,
Is due to the pain.
He forgot to explain
His arse was all blocked up with piles.
--- Anon

She told me I was pretty sweet,
Yet misses your miniscule meat.
No wonder. Her bung
Now leaks spunky dung --
The kind that she tells me you eat.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a girl named Britt,
On the ground beneath me she'd sit.
And when I had gas,
She'd suck on my ass,
Till I filled her mouth with my shit.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was an old fellow of Brest,
Who sucked off his wife with great zest.
Despite her great yowls,
He sucked out her bowels,
And spat then all over her chest.
--- Norman Douglas L0387

There was a young man had the art
Of making a capital tart
With a handful of shit,
Some snot and some spit,
And he'd flavor the whole with a fart.
--- L0766

A coprophagic person named Cat,
Who was said to be strong into scat,
She would sit down below you
And would even blow you,
In the outhouse next door to the frat.
--- Peter Ackerman

That eater of shit known as Cat,
Bartered jobs with the boys, tit for tat.
A blow for a rim
And a fist up the quim;
She became Sigma Chi's welcome mat.
--- Randog

Cried a scatophile husband named Sandys
Whose wife made him excrement candies,
"Why these are not gumdrops;
They're genuine bumdrops,
With solid turd centers -- jim dandies!"
--- Armand E Singer 122

Young Rose wed the lad they called Rastus,
So that she might lick his asspastus.
Though her tongue's full of hairs,
She most proudly declares,
"Few turd-eaters have ever surpassed us!"
--- Patrick Reilly

A sparrow ate a meal dropped on hay,
And before he was finished he heard a neigh.
He located the source
An Appaloosa horse --
Two can live cheap as one in this way.
--- Tom Patton

There once was a man from Vancouver,
Who could inhale dirt like a Hoover.
He started to spit
When he inhaled some shit,
And said, "An unhealthy maneuver."
--- J Bott

There once was a lady of York
Who tried to eat shit with a fork.
Her son cried "You goon!
Eat shit with a spoon!
It's pork that you eat with a fork!"
--- Rob Doran

There once was a lady called Tia
Who suffered from bad diarrhea.
And what she liked most
Was to shit on some toast
Which she'd eat with a glass of warm beer.
--- Donald McGill

Among all the posters in here,
Punctuations differ. Severe?
It'd not be so bad
If only you had
Pronounced the last word, "dire rear."
--- Cyber Wizard

Our linkage to rhyme we must never
Put under great strain -- it will sever!
It's great when a "lever
Connects with a "beaver",
But "beer/diarrhea"? Not clever!
--- Donald

She scrambled it up with her eggs
Whilst downing that draught to its dregs.
The smell of her breath
Was worse than Black Death,
And feculence oozed down her legs.
--- Randog

A perverted young fellow, a Brit,
Had breath that was reeking of shit.
His bad halitosis
Was due to psychosis;
He liked to eat out the wrong slit.
--- Jeeves TP9802

There once was a man, wan and pallid,
Who peed and then pooped in his salad.
If this rhyme makes you cry,
Then you understand why
You shouldn't have asked for a ballad.
--- Rob Cameron

There once was a strange guy named Lou
Who made his fat girlfriend eat poo.
On his face she did sit
With a mouth full of shit,
And said "Now you'll be eating some too."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The Virgin told Joseph, "Don't tarry.
We have all this Kotex to carry."
He said, "I'll annoint
With vodka your joint
And drink the world's first Bloody Mary."
--- David Miller

There is nothing that induces salivation
Like the taste of fresh menstruation,
As the sauce for a roast,
By itself or on toast.
Eat or drink it for your delectation.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young lady called Wooding
Who married a man called Bill Gooding.
But her hygiene was dud
And her menstrual blood
Had congealed to a moldy black pudding.
--- Donald McGill

For breakfast, Bill loved her black puddin'
And shoveled much more than he should in.
He swallowed and belched
From all that he felched,
Then, stopping the flow, rammed his wood in.
--- Randog

He'd slice that blutwurst so neat,
And each month for breakfast would eat,
For it was well seasoned
And so it was reasoned,
Had a taste that couldn't be beat!
--- Donald McGill

Young Amy of "Bob's Fenestration"
Was the ugliest chick in the nation.
But her twat was so sweet,
Men fell at her feet,
To lick up her monthly menstruation.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young man from Gowels
Who ate shit from dead peoples bowels.
His idea of bliss
Was to prostitutes piss,
And the drippings of sanitary towels.
--- Anon

This is file uxl

I picked up this girl at the club;
Stuck my face in her snatch for a rub.
But her tampon fell out,
And I left with a shout;
Then gave my red face a good scrub.
--- Paul Boston

The Smiths, an unsavory bunch,
Who've a fetish for menstrual punch,
For breakfast these lads
Snack on menstrual pads
And gladly save tampons for lunch.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a girl from Dubuque
Who sat there and ate her own puke.
She picked at her ass
And ate it in class,
Then some semen from some dude named Luke.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a lady from Arden,
Who sucked off a man in a garden.
He said, "My dear Flo,
Where does all that stuff go?"
And she said, "(swallow hard)--I beg pardon?"
--- L0379

A fellatrix steno named Beeman,
Remarked as she swallowed my semen;
"On my miniscule salary,
I must watch every calorie,
So I get 'ahead' eating you he-men."
--- G0828

With Sue (his assistant) Jack makes
What appear to be cream-laden cakes.
But the heat and the steam
Are the cause of the cream,
For she plays with his knob as he bakes.
--- Anon

There once was an employee named Ross,
Who was fired one day by his boss,
Because he was found
With his pants on the ground,
Dripping nasty stuff into the sauce.
--- P Dryden

The oral technique of Miss Wren
Appeals greatly to all virile men.
This Southern-fried chicken
On gism don't sicken,
And goes family-style, now and then.
--- G0923

The cheese he preferred wasn't bleu;
Neither American nor cheddar would do.
'Twas only the kind
One happened to find
Whilst gobbling a pecker or two.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a sweet miss named Chubb,
Who was blowing a lad at the club.
He cried "Whoa! Enough!
Can't swallow that stuff!"
But all she could say was "glub, glub."
--- Sam Pittman TP9802

There was a young lady called White,
Who lived on used condoms and shite.
The rubbery bits
Were as tough as old tits,
But the goo left inside was alright!
--- Moony T9801

Please, go wipe off your chin;
You must be fellating again!
Must be great as you try it,
And right for your diet;
It'll keep you looking quite thin."
--- Stan the Man

There was a young fellow of Norwich,
Who liked having sex with his porridge,
With sugar and cream,
And a buttery scream.
(The leftovers went into storage.)
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Said a happy young man of Fort Drum:
"What care I for this shortage of gum?
My favorite chew
Is a condom or two,
With a goodly amount of fresh come."

(gives the words 'gum rubber' new meaning - McW)
--- G1497

Said Grizelda, a poor hungry slob,
To the man whom she gave a blow-job
"I'm really quite grateful,
It's like eating a plateful
Of hot-dogs and corn-on-the-cob."
--- Writerman

There once was a girl from the Heights,
Who couldn't fit into her tights.
She found a new diet
And was dying to try it:
Just Irish come, sprouts and brown rice.
--- Gene Brady

There was a young girl we'll call Ms. M.
With body curvaceous and lissom.
From midnight 'till three
She gives blowjobs for free,
And keeps slim on a diet of gism.
--- Peter Wilkins

When John fucked a girl from Purdue,
Tim would wait till his brother was through,
Then Tim licked the paste,
For he relished the taste
Of a cunt where another man blew.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2241

There was a cook called Freeman;
He was a dirty demon.
She served the crew
With menstrual stew
And hymens steeped in semen.

(see Good Ship Venus)
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A cocksucker skilled, known as Sue,
She loved cock and gobbling goo.
She would guzzle your load
'Til your nuts would implode,
And leave you with nothing to spew.
--- R Rick

The diet of foremost persuasion:
Don't eat white things on any occasion,
Like rice, pasta, or bread,
And never give head
To anyone who's mostly Caucasian.
--- Theo M Heller P9504

My friend, who's a number one fresser,
Keeps bon-bons and chips in her dresser,
Handy next to the bed;
When she's not giving head,
You can give her a snack to impress her.

(what is a 'fresser'? - McW)
--- Robin K Willoughby P8402

Young Heather McGregor was nice;
Loved drinking bull's semen on ice
So I said "That's quite strange.
Do you fancy a change?"
So she swapped it for my bowl of rice.
--- Anon

A canny Scots lass named McFargle,
Without coaxing and such argy-bargle,
Could suck a man's pud
Just as hard as she could,
And she saved up the sperm for a gargle.
--- L0412

A stork is a bird, so they say,
Which brings in nine months and a day,
A bundle of joy,
An infant so coy,
But a swallow keeps babies away.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0876a

There once was a U.S. Marine,
Who habits were grossly obscene.
He loved to eat jizz,
Both others and his,
When served in a hot soup tureen.
--- L0784

I once had a friend named Bill Matlock,
Who liked to cook food in a wok.
"My food tastes so great
Because I masturbate
And add an some stuff from my big cock.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

For fear she might have a child, Nelly,
Rarely let a man into her belly.
She would eat it instead,
And spread it on bread
With guaranteed spermacide jelly.
--- G1505

A singer and swinger was Joyce --
She sang opera -- that was her choice.
She'd take men to bed
And, after giving them head,
Gargle semen to strengthen her voice!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

That rotten old person named Biggem,
He likes to have little girls frig him.
The big girls he fuckses,
Their panties he muckses,
And trains 'em to swallow and swig him.
--- G0830

A chef at the Waldorf named Pease
Could toss a green salad with ease,
By using his tool
From which he would drool
A dressing folks thought was blue cheese.
--- P8604

A bitchy young girl of Valhallad
Says, "Honey chile, family-style's pallid!"
This erogenous wench
Loves to work 'em off French,
And use the results in her salad.
--- G1515

There once was a woman from Perm,
Who's favourite candy was sperm.
She'd go find a lad
She did not have had,
And suck really hard on his worm.
--- Anon

There was an old man of Corfu,
Who fed upon cunt-juice and spew.
When he couldn't get this,
He fed upon piss,
And a bloody good substitute, too.
--- Norman Douglas P9206