"I like little girlies, of course,
Of five," so said Maurice the Horse.
"Or six, maybe seven,
I holler `Thank heaven',
And so far I've felt no remorse."
--- Anon

The gentleman said with a smile,
"I admit I'm an old pedophile.
Those hairless young kiddies,
Not hirsute old biddies,
Have earned me an FBI file.
--- Funny Bone

Dyb Dyb Dyb and a Dob Dob Dob;
For I have got the worlds best job.
In my Scout hut
I show them smut,
Then sit one right up on my knob.
--- Anon

Though his stomach protruded obtrusively,
Sir John dressed in tight suits exclusively;
With his moustache waxed dandy,
Equipped with mint candy,
He'd molest the young children abusively.
--- Francis S

There was a young fellow named Glinker,
A philosopher, Sir, -- Yes a thinker.
His thoughts were upon
Little girls with nowt on;
The cad, the rotter, the stinker!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

As a bitch, she's the worst, uncontested;
I was wondering why, so requested,
"What makes you this way?"
She answered today,
"As a child, I was never molested!"
--- John Miller

Abducted and killed, Sarah Payne,
She'll never return home again.
She should have known,
It's not safe alone,
And Pedophiles don't have a brain.
--- Anon

Away from schoolgirls you should stay;
Even blonde heads shouldn't you sway.
With girls too young to marry,
You should never tarry,
Or they'll do more than just lock you away.
--- Milkmaid

Won't scan and besides it is nasty.
'Twill not stop your snoring
Or curtail your whoring,
Or even your vile pederasty.
--- John Miller

A pedophile who taught kids PE
Was put in his job by Kelly;
Opus Dei enthusers
Expect child abusers
To hold posts of authority.
--- Jarmo

That traitor, Sir Robert D. Casement,
Was known to bang boys in the basement;
He would sneak up behind,
And half out of his mind,
Abuse his posterior placement.
--- Armand E Singer 936

Smirked an old sex offender, George Noyes,
"I do go for young kids, mainly boys;
You can't knock `em up,
They give you no gup,
And they smile when presented with toys."
--- Armand Singer

I'd like to thank Lord Baden-Powell
For starting up the Wolf-cub howl.
We paedophiles
Along with smiles
Gain access to their lower bowel.
--- Frank

The old scoutmaster made every lad
Drop his drawers and display what he had;
"I must check you for ticks";
(Breathing hard, voice in clicks),
"Rocky Mountain spotted fever's so bad!"
--- Allen Wolverton

"Alright Scouts, go pick out your spots
For camping and unload your pots
And pans for your food,
And while you swim nude,
I'll try to inspect all your knots."
--- Travis Brasell

"Okay Scouts, our camp is nearby;
To your families you've all said goodbye.
Now check all your kit.
Have you got every bit,
As well as a jar of KY?"
--- AA

A Tenderfoot Scoutmaster, Kirk,
Has been driving the parents berserk.
"His behavior is rotten!"
They say, having gotten
A little behind in his work.
--- Anon

Scoutmaster Kirk's tent, bless his soul,
Had a hole in the roof for his pole;
This manly erection
Caused mass Scout defection,
Though his work had been good on the whole.
--- Anon

To his mother, Kirk's fingers still cling,
Of boxing, he knows not a thing;
The other scouts say:
"Though we don't think he's gay,
His mates punched him lots 'round the ring."
--- Anon

Scoutmasters fulfil deep desire,
Whilst sitting around the campfire,
So steamy and hot,
With much young boys bot,
All dressed in that sweet Scout attire.
--- Frank

A heartless young roue from Gary,
Whose sex life keeps getting more hairy,
Grabs pubescent tots,
Then tickles their twats,
And plies them with sloe gin and sherry.
--- Armand E Singer 287

I was 12, he was age 23;
Babysitting, I sat on his knee.
Complete frustration,
Succumbed to temptation,
I sprayed it around with much glee.
--- Anon

Should Poppa find out, will he slaughter?
His dastardly deed done to daughter!
Is barely a teen,
Far too young to clean
A hosepipe of its dirty water?
--- Anon

Why are Li'l Annies eyeballs so white?
No, it wasn't caused by a fright.
Warbucks just did her
Until he had filled her
Clean up to her eyeballs, all right!
--- Joe Long

A pedophile now known as Gadd
Was nabbed in his Vietnamese pad,
For shooting his glitter
Up some preteen's shitter,
And making her scream for "More, Dad!"
--- Jarmo

I hear there's a pedophile surgeon,
When feeling testosterone's urgeon,
Will visit a nursery
For a hasty and cursery
Review of which vurgeons there burgeon.
--- Anon

'Tis rumored that Buckingham's joys
Now come from electrical toys.
And furthermore that
When the batteries are flat,
He molests prepubescent young boys.
--- Archie

Just this past summer Jason McNile
Thought he'd watch the Olympics awhile.
Every woman gymnast
Made him realize fast.
That he might just be a pedophile.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0412

He likes little girls, and this gets
Him arrested, this time by the Viet-
namese. He got blowed
By a girl, 12-year-old,
And now he's regretting that pet.
--- Q

There's girls here would do that job fine,
(They live 'twixt the Tees and the Tyne,)
From what I hear tell,
They're cheaper, as well;
Some fags and a bottle of wine.
--- Q

But, Tiddy, these girls that you sing,
Is the fur soft as silk on their thing?
Or could their tough tush
Replace a wire brush,
And burnish the crown of a king?
--- Q

He wrote out his will yesterday,
Cremation's his wish, so they say,
His ashes to fit
In an Etch-a-sketch kit,
So with him the kids can still play...
--- Q

Ya gotta be stupid, I figger,
To call a large black man a nigger,
Or mess with his wife,
'Cause ya know, in real life,
Both his dick and his fists are the bigger.
--- Anon

This is file ufl

My kid had some itching fatigue woes,
And said chiggers infest all that he grows;
I was sad for his rigors
But corrected him, "Chiggers
Is wrong, since today we say Chigroes."
--- Hugh Clary

The White Man, so haughty and clever,
The Indian defeated, however,
He neglected to figure
The low humble nigger
Would frustrate his every endeavor.
--- Albin Chaplin Appeal 1671

I am hoping this is not true,
But Harry is a fucking jew.
He takes it in the ass
But only for cash,
And you must be a jigaboo.
--- Anon

A group of white rednecks, for thrill,
Under hoods of white lace and fine frill,
Marched out wearing pearls.
They must have been girls
Or drag racists, just dressed to kill.
--- Anon

A bedwetting racist named Pete
Was the toughest Klansman you'd meet.
His problem -- incontinence
Was not an inconvenience.
At cross-burnings, he used rubber sheet.
--- Randall Boyer

Pete's little wanker is reeking
From abuse and wetting and leaking.
The Klan fits his need
To deliver his seed
In the robes when nobody's peeking.
--- Squat

That N-word just will not do;
We've got to try something new.
The Niggers all hate it;
Why don't we debate it?
I suggest we use Jigaboo.
--- MrMalo

"Jig's" not so hot for those suckers;
Perhaps we should go back to "chuckers" (spear)
'Mongst themselves, among others,
They use the term "brothers";
The polite form is "bad motherfuckers".
--- John Miller

We also need one for the Spics
And one for the Catholics;
One for the Wogs,
One for the Frogs,
And one for Canucks, the pricks.
--- MrMalo

And how about Mick, Kraut, and Limey?
(Just be careful to pick ones that rhyme, see?)
Us Bohunk, and Squarehead,
All Rednecks are braindead,
And some would say Yankees are slimy.
--- John Miller

How about Honky and Lezzie and Queer?
And the Okies us Texans hold dear?
(I think that I choose
Not to mention the jews
For reasons of -- let's just say "fear")
--- John Miller

There's the Wops, the Hebes, and the Chinks,
And the Polacks, those ignorant dinks;
And two nice new words
For the worst of the turds,
Namely the Shysters and Shrinks.
--- MrMalo

I'm unsure just who's really the worst;
Politicians and spammers come first,
Right up with car dealers,
Fake preachers, faith healers,
And the con men with whom we are cursed.
--- John Miller

In the busy "A" train, jammed with folks,
A torrid young lady named Volks
Said a guy back of her
Tried to rape her, the cur,
But he went off after only two strokes.
--- Grand Prix Lim 446

There was a young man from Japan
Who lived on this excellent plan:
Whene'er he saw women,
He stuck his fifth limb in
Her mouth or her cunt or her can.
--- G2376

Said tickle-tail Tillie Kay Keast,
"Man, when he is in heat, is a BEAST!
If he's dead-set on rape
He should be in such shape
He can ravish one TWO times, at least!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 84

A raper attacked a woman and tore
Her clothes off and called her a whore.
Then came a mad fraction
Of Feminist Action;
His balls are in Copenhagen and Elsinore.
--- Anon

There was a young lady of Clewer
Who was riding a bike, and it threw her.
A man saw her there,
With her legs in the air,
And seized the occasion to screw her.
--- L1149

An expert at sucking, Miss Roma,
Trapped a rapist one time in Tacoma.
She convinced him that sucking
Was superior to fucking,
And she blew him right into a coma.
--- Albin Chaplin

The rapists who rape around Salem
Hope their genital organs won't fail 'em.
It'd look rather silly
To tip over a filly,
Lacking that which one needs to assail 'em. (impale 'em)
--- G0748

Lars Svenson is out on the loose;
Say goodbye to your cat, ewe and goose,
As well as your daughter,
Then do like you oughter:
Go hang yourself with a strong noose!
--- Anon

Biochemical miracles seem
A gaudy molecular dream;
Who'd have thought DNA
Would hasten the day
When a rapist is caught by his cream?
--- Norm Storer P0012

There was a young Miss from Cape Cod
Who at soldiers would not even nod.
But she tripped in a ditch,
And some son of a bitch
Of a corporal raped her, by God!
--- L0818

Being raped, a fat girl named Bernice,
Ups and yells for the local police.
Who, to her dismay,
Would not go away,
Until each had knocked off a free piece.
--- G0524

An agile young rapist named Jay,
Who settled for five rapes a day,
Says, "Rape's great for erections,
But takes fast connections,
And one helluva fast getaway!"
--- G0784

A lustful young rapist named Vince
Neglected his fingers to rinse.
A fair maid he did rape,
And he thought to escape,
But her fanny was covered with prints.
--- Albin Chaplin

A lustful young rapist named Vince
Washed his hands but neglected to rinse.
He raped a fair lass
But the smudge on her ass
Matched the FBI's set of his prints.
--- Arthur Deex P9003

Beware of one Ali Gezahm,
Who comes on as soft as a lamb.
He dances and frolics
But it all comes to ballocks,
When he'll finish you off like a ram.
--- Annie Jay

A lecherous fellow named Clark,
Raped a bird-loving girl in the park.
A splendid surprise!
Such vigor! Such size!
And she really just came for a lark.
--- Anon

A fat-fannied lass from Decatur
Was raped in a freight elevator...
Said he, up inside,
"Many thanks for the ride...
And how about going down later?"
--- Grand Prix Lim 47

To fend off a rapist, Miss Scott,
Applied her karate, well-taught.
She ripped out his bum
With her finger and thumb,
And she strangled his cock with her twat.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1819

The Victorian ghostwriter said,
"Now I've got the nude heroine spread,
How can I proceed
With the villian's low deed?...
I'll let H. Rider Haggard instead!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 611

A ravaged old spinster did chafe
Till officers caught rapist Rafe.
They threw him in jail,
But the spinster made bail.
"Thank God," she exclaimed, "that you're safe!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1318

There was an old actress named Mape,
A victim of sadistic rape.
She said, "Come to the den
And we'll do it again,
For I want to record this on tape."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2183