There was an old guy on the Net,
Who loved every girl that he met.
He's engaged to Miss Ann
Who's really a man,
But the poor fool just doesn't know yet!
--- Anoobus

In his closet with heels and roughed lips
All the sickies Herr Sigmund out-strips.
The dear old professor
Must be a cross-dresser,
Else why all those Freudian slips?
--- Bob Giandomenico P8802

All this spam smut I must look askance on.
(I admit though that one I did glance on.)
No more will I click;
That gal had a prick!
I know 'cause (s)he didn't have pants on!
--- Irish

Some spam is hard to believe,
Like sobriety on New Years Eve.
It helps us in life,
Like a stab with a knife,
After a night with a girl named Steve.
--- Anon

I knew a transvestite named Ike,
Whom everyone thought was a dyke.
He caused such confusion,
To aid this illusion,
By choosing a girlfriend called Spike.
--- Anon

A faggot named Percival Kirk
Displays a sartorial quirk.
The fruitcake confesses
To wearing girl's dresses;
"Who doesn't", he asks with a smirk.
--- Armand E Singer 328

There was a young lady from Beel,
From her suitors she tried to conceal
A large hairy chest,
With a frilled Sunday best,
That turned her from Sidney to Cele.
--- Rudolf Ammann

Though Joanne aimed to move like a fairy,
There were hints of a past that was scary;
Cosmetically blushed,
She was certainly flushed,
But the skin underneath was still hairy.
--- Val Burns P0510Q

He met this quite cute transvestite.
He thought that he might spend the night.
The guy had a beard
And was plumply brassiered.
He said, "'Tis a bit of all right!"
--- Al Willis P9805

I came here from Beverly Hills,
A cross-dresser who's just out for thrills.
I tried to impress,
And I took off my dress,
And the guy just took off for the hills.
--- Al Willis P9805

A transvestite gal for a gag
Was matched with a pansy in drag.
A silly seduction
Confirmed the deduction
That heterosex was their bag.
--- G2347

She's Alf when undressed? Oh my god
I think you've caused my nuts and my rod
To shrivel up tight
Inside me tonight,
'Cause if she's a guy then, good lord! [lawd]
--- Anon

A lady who lives near Salt Lake
Took testosterone pills by mistake.
And just as she feared,
She now has a beard
And complains that her testicles ache.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0512Q

A transgendered pal had to piddle,
But where to go? That was the riddle.
'Twixt doors "Gents" and "Dames"
S/he picked neither; the names
Didn't fit, so s/he aimed in the middle.
--- Anon

Howie played girls with the best;
On stage he could look quite a mess.
But imagine the surprise
In his mothers eyes
When he decided to keep wearing that dress!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

An agent named Sy, FBI,
Met a girl, put his hand on her thigh.
"With hands under my dress,
I feel I must confess;
When you get to the balls, I'm a spy."
--- Tom Patton P9805

A transvestite from downtown Poughkeepsie
Had partied and got rather tipsy.
He wandered on stage
And soon was the rage,
As the lead in the musical, Gypsy.
--- David Miller

A modest young lady, St Unt,
Who had a strange quarry to hunt.
Though 'twas hard to pick,
She was looking for Dick --
That's Richard, her crossdressing aunt!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A man I knew found that his stress
Was much less when he dressed in a dress.
His wife only said,
"You'd look better in red.
And your nails, my dear, are a mess."
--- Joe Thompson

A certain cross dresser named Bruce
(His favorite color is puce)
Now blushing, confesses
He loves to wear dresses
That fit very tight, never loose.
--- Armand Singer

When Mike went out back with the boys
To tell them they made too much noise,
He found Greg in drag --
And inside his handbag
Was stuffed with the most curious toys.
--- Artie Troll

The mullah found Abdul a wife;
He knew they'd be married for life.
When he lifted her burka,
He went quite berserka;
She had balls and a hairy skin fife.
--- Parker Waterman P0203

A with-it transvestite named Noah
Went along to a dance in Eudoa.
The boa he wore
Molted over the floor:
The crowd saw more Noah than boa.
--- Robust Ribald Rude P9703

If I keep drinking this whiskey, I'll leer
At that cross-dresser in the brassiere.
I won't take a chance
Getting into HIS pants:
The next time I go out, I'll drink beer.
--- Faerie

She seemed to be total perfection,
Who'd give any man an erection.
But you learned when she spoke,
'Twas a cross-dressing bloke
And for such I have no predilection.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Montel, Rikki, Jerry, on video,
Stage anxieties of cross-dressed libido,
Use drag, staight or queer,
With a wink and a leer,
Rouse hetero-fear: "That's not me! Oh!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Transvestites who some call TVs,
Seem to wear women's clothes with great ease.
They fit well in high heels,
Although, one sometimes feels,
That they don't do as well as true she's.
--- Bob Giandomenico P2005

He can't tell a Lyle from a Lola;
He doesn't know beer from a cola.
When the men dress like girls,
With those bras and pincurls,
He fondles a man they call "Nola."
--- Al Willis P9805

I dipped my balls in marinara,
While I reapplied my mascara.
My fetish ain't Rasta,
I worship the pasta.
And sometimes I dress like Miss Farrah.
--- Anon

"I'm an angel," she said, "in disguise."
But on checking, I found a surprise.
When her panties were shorn,
A devilish horn!
I'm afraid "she's" just one of the guys.
--- John Miller

There was a transvestite called Lily
Who minced up and down Piccadilly,
In London's fair town,
Wearing naught but a frown,
And some panties draped over his willy.
--- Anon

The transvestite was wearing a wig,
But did not fool the nosey old prig,
Who said "In the rest room,
Underneath the costume,
I caught sight of his thingamajig."
--- Bob Aldrich P0605

Young Alex I met once in Cottam,
Quite pretty, but tits, she'd not got 'em.
A cross-dresser! Shit!
It's a bottomless pit,
Or rather, a damned pitless bottom.
--- Anon

This is file ucl

As a Drag Queen, he earned the odd bow,
Yet he felt unfulfilled still somehow.
Then he played Cyd Charisse
And he found inner peace.
"She was taller than I," he'd allow.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9805

A horny GI from Fort Bragg,
While cruising for tail, meets a snag;
The skirt he undresses
Quite boldly confesses,
"Too bad, soldier boy, I'm in drag."
--- Armand Singer

A lumberjack logger named Whitey,
All burly and macho and mighty,
Was a hell of a sight
In his bedroom each night,
As he pranced about in his nightie.
--- Cap'n Bean P0204

Before giving your queen a ring,
Better make her show you her thing.
It's not such a sin to
Know what you're getting in to;
She might not be your queen but your KING!
--- Florida Man

Is transvestisation perversion?
I find it a pleasant diversion;
Except in the street
Where the gay blokes you meet
Will offer an anal insertion.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Dressed in sweet-suits of satin and lace,
The transvestites all gaily embraced,
Then adjusting their straps
They began doing laps,
In what critics might call a drag race.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9111a

There was an Old Man in a boat,
Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!"
When they said, "No you ain't!"
He was ready to faint,
In chignon and red petticoat.
--- Edwardian Leer 087

A strapping young farmer named Kurt,
Was often seen in a blouse and a skirt,.
At the local dances
Resisting advances,
But he has to be very alert.
--- Arthur Pattaffy

The pain from harsh words quickly heals,
But think how a cross-dresser feels.
It's a punch and a curse,
And he must drop his purse,
Then run for his life in high heels.
--- Bob Birch P9805

RuPaul is a babe who's in fashion,
Looking gorgeous, inspiring passion.
Rednecks give him the eye,
As their pickups drive by,
On the way out to do some gay bashin'.
--- Larry Hollister

RuPaul has a web site, I hear;
Which is cool, but a little bit queer.
You can send him some E-mail
To ask if he's female,
And which is his brand of brassiere?
--- Larry Hollister

Joan of Arc found her gender a trial;
Cleopatra was oft in de-Nile.
But denying those urges
Which "Ellen" now purges,
Was never RuPaul's chosen style.
--- Larry Hollister

My steamy-hot date hit a snag;
By the end of the night made me gag.
My object of lust,
To my total disgust,
Was a guy named RuPaul, dressed in drag!
--- Larry Hollister a

There's a guy by the name of RuPaul
Who, as cross-dressers go, has it all.
He's got fame and success
(Butt looks good in a dress)
And the ladies' room saves him a stall.
--- Larry Hollister

A lady who lives in Dix Hills
By mistake took testosterone pills.
She wears panties of lace
But is now singing bass,
And developing lip-shaving skills.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0512Q

His friends view as just a damn shame,
A transvestite who calls himself Mame.
Some feel his cross-dressing
Is somewhat distressing,
While to others he's just a sham dame.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9511

A guy met a good looking female,
After sending her plenty of e-mail.
With a little romance
He was soon in her pants,
But was shocked to find out she was he-male.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A transvestite with body type burly
Could sometimes become downright surly
When someone in a bar
Would shout from afar,
"Shed some weight for a figure that's girlie!"
--- J'Carlin

At the crossdresser's annual dance,
In a low-cut gown, Marlene from France
Reached up just a bit
And showed off some real tit.
"How the hell did he do that?" asked Vance.
--- Michael Weinstein P9102

"Now why did you rip off my skirt
And tight silky panties?" moaned Bert.
"You know they excite
Me and set me alight..."
"Well, I know you're perverted," said Gert.
--- Peter Wilkins

Well, I bought these cute pearls for my ears,
And some lovely, size forty brassieres.
They discovered that I
Was a bald freaking guy,
And all that I got were some leers.
--- Al Willis P9805

I don't understand transvestism.
Is it viewing yourself through a prism
Of feminine things,
While your pecker swings?
A strange way to get rid of jism.
--- Frank Fazed

Our sweet Mabel is really a guy.
When rejected, you should have asked why?
His most subtle treat
Includes beating his meat,
Whilst thumbing your ass on the sly.
--- Anon

There once was a guy in Bangkok
Who suffered a terrible shock.
A girl that he knew
And wanted to screw,
Said, "Hi hon, Can you suck my cock?"
--- Rudi Verheecke

Kevin once dated this chick;
Up her skirt his hand he did stick.
She let out a chuckle
But his knees they did buckle,
'Cause his hand held two balls and a prick.
--- Clint Bement

There was a young girl from Darjeeling
Whose face was not very appealing.
She had warts on her chest
That poked through her vest,
And ballocks all swollen and peeling.
--- West End Writers

"Please take off my dress," she begged thickly
And my hose and my garter belt, quickly,
Now my bra and my pants
And for goodness sake, Lance,
Your transvestite habits are sickly.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8802a

"Tennis? No, not in this dress!"
Said a guy suffering some stress.
"Tennis is for girls;
I'll just play with my pearls.
If you ask me again, I'll say yes!"
--- Mr Witty

She asked that the priest now should bless her,
When confessing to be a cross-dresser.
It was no mistake,
It really was Jake,
But of him, we should think none the lesser.
--- Bob Birch P9805

A young "girl", so sleek and so slim,
Wore tight clothes that showed of "her" quim.
The blokes they perspired,
Her body desired,
But she wasn't a her, but a him!
--- Anon

Most famous cross-dresser of all --
Titanic, if you would recall.
With things at their worst
With "women/kids first,"
A man with the cowardly gall....
--- Irving Superior P9805

'Twas a girl with a rep quite PRISTINE,
(Like she wouldn't--you know what I mean),
I took on a date
And found out too late,
Was a guy with a skirt on--obscene!
--- Bob Dvorak

A secret transvestite named Jules
Was found by his wife wearing crewels.
She said in disgust,
"You must if you must,
But are they not tight on your jewels?"
--- Paul Westwood P9607