A lady who lives in Bayonne
By mistake took some testosterone.
Now she shaves really well
So no one can tell,
But she sounds like a man on the phone.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0512Q

Those Disney shows to entertain
Use adult jokes we must explain:
What is a cross-dresser?
The answer distressed her.
We said, "It's like Uncle Elaine!"
--- Anon

I live in a well appointed harem
So many sex toys, I can spare 'em!
Pleasure galore!
You'll scream for more!
My panties...Would you like to wear them?
--- Anon

There was a young man from Key West,
Who dreamed he had two supple breasts.
When he woke, he felt tickled;
He sucked both his nipples,
And found he was wearing a dress.
--- cOOkie

While noting the bulge in his trousers,
A gentleman, Ashley, carouses
In rubber with zips,
And with sixteen foot whips,
But enjoys it while wearing girls' blouses.
--- Thunderwing

An avid cross-dresser named Dave
Wore a black leather skirt as a slave.
But his mistress was cruel,
And now the poor fool
Got to wear it that night to his grave.
--- Anon

JimBob, he drove a large tractor.
On weekends he wore some Max Factor,
A bra and a skirt.
He's a terrible flirt,
And a short-sighted rapist attacked her.
--- Anon

This tall and quite sexy chanteuse
Had feet just as big as canoes.
We learned "she" was male,
Dressed in lovely percale,
And Omar was hired to build shoes.
--- Al Willis P9805

A cross-dresser from Crosby, named Sloane,
Bought a frock in a class of its own.
It filled all the places
Where Sloane had just spaces,
And the boys wouldn't leave him alone!
--- Tim Tudd

There once was a woman named Jess,
Who had seen that her room was a mess.
She looked all around
And soon she had found,
Her boyfriend had taken her dress.
--- Planet Kilmer

As for Charlie wearing a skirt --
While I am not one to dish dirt,
If those are his clothes,
Then his name is "Rose"
And he's getting more than dessert!
--- Anon

Though out of the closet, The Gay;
Inside the closet will stay,
Silk stockings, brassieres,
And face painting smears,
And heels that make cross-dressers sway.
--- Irving Superior P9805

A friendly transvestite, now gone,
Would eagerly put dresses on.
Confusion attended
Those he'd befriended.
His headstone now reads "Don" and "Dawn".
--- Sam Chen

He took off his bra and his slip;
I thought that he might skinny-dip.
But he was a stripper,
A saucy unzipper,
And this was the world's first drag strip.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Swaggering macho CEO, Staid,
Said, "This isn't a joke or charade.
I've bought this darling gown,
Added stars to my crown.
I'll wear both in the Easter parade."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0308

A young lady who went on a trip,
Met a cross-dresser onboard the ship.
He envied her clothes;
Put on her silk hose,
Then her panties and lacy black slip.
--- Bob Birch P9805

It's reported that Franklin J. Krause
So looked forward to leaving his house
Saying, "Always on Sundays,
I slip into thong undies,
Mini skirt and a very sheer blouse."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0308

A transvestite by the name of Downs
Plied his trade in a number of towns.
He would put on a show
For those folks in the know,
Dancing sprightly in satin ball gowns.
--- Tom Patton P0201

When he thinks that she sleeps, he tip-toes
To the mirror to try on her clothes.
Then he giggles and bounces
And shows off his flounces
And ruffles and garters and hose.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

And the best part of all, I suppose
Is the wearing of girlie-type clothes.
As I write I am dressed,
In a see-through pink vest,
Gold high-heels, and white sheer pantie hose
--- Anon

There once was this guy named Stan,
Who had trouble being a man,
Wore a dress and high heels
Drove a car with pink wheels,
And soon Stan became a tran.
--- Anon

I am going to say, you must know,
I came on to your Aunt with gusto.
She was quite a flirt,
But under that skirt
Was a cock and two balls, Yuck! Disgusto!
--- Frank Fazed

If only you'd stop chewing your cud,
Pay attention, let go of your pud.
I did try to tell ya
Aunt Blabby's a fella.
She doubles as dear Uncle Bud.
--- Faerie

Just because she looks great in that frock,
No need to put yourself in hock
To buy her a ring,
For what makes her sing,
Is someplace nice and warm for her cock.
--- Faerie

I don't think you want to go "there";
Keep a close eye on your underwear.
Staying seated might do,
And a toupee might do too;
I've heard she likes men with no hair.
--- Faerie

I'm puzzled! There's Jane wed to Ann...
There's Joe who changed over to Jan...
That lass of the Halls
Has titties and balls...
And Deb sucks her dog -- not a man!
--- Anon

Weird mores of sex that folks choose
Are making today's headline news,
While red-blooded males,
Like me, still chase tails
Of women...OK!...and some ewes.
--- Travis Brasell

What if you wedded a mate
Who felt that her sex's a mistake.
And then on a whim,
She changed "her" to "him";
Would you expect "it" to still copulate?
--- Anon

I, too, have an ass that's okay,
It's old and the hair's turning gray;
It still loves (no kiddin'!)
To daily be ridden,
By gals who will feed it sweet hay.
--- Anon

I had an Ass too, so I say...
He married me one August day.
Then 20 years later...
He turned woman hater...
And alimony he did have to pay!
--- Anon

Oh Baby, I've got what you need,
My bale of hay is sweet indeed!
Come on over here,
Let me ride that steer,
And when I'm done, I'll let you feed.
--- Carol

Let's rendezvous, babe, at my barn
And roll in the hay till a yarn
Is spun for the telling,
And we are both yelling,
And neither of us gives a darn.
--- Travis Brasell

I'll be there at eight without fail,
So sit yourself down on that bale.
Shoo those chickens away,
So we've room to play,
And we'll spin ourselves some nice tail.
--- Carol

This is file ubl

My son's just come back from KL; (Kuala Lumpur)
A barmaid told him how to tell,
Before you undress her,
If he's a cross-dresser,
If he/she's a fella or gel.
--- Tiddy Ogg

She said that there's one patch of skin,
A razor can't thoroughly skim;
To save yourself trouble,
You feel for the stubble,
That's bound to lie under the chin.
--- Tiddy Ogg

But it is just not that easy to tell
A fellow who's dressed as a gel.
Those impersonators
Now use epilators,
So chin stubble gets yanked out as well.
--- Tiddy Ogg

He says that one night he did go
To see those guys in a strip show.
They all had their dongs
Tucked into their thongs,
So there was just no way to know.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A lesbian friend of mine said
"In KL, met a girl name of Fred. (Kuala Lampur)
All seemed fine
Until the time
Her dong showed its face" -- was she red.
--- Countrygirl

"I'm sorry to bother you, doc,
But what can I do with my cock?
It's always erecting
And therefore affecting
The style of my favorite frock."
--- PeterW

"I'll cut off your dick if you like.
With this scalpel a singular strike
Will ensure that it falls
To the floor with your balls;
Then you'll look like a regular dyke."
--- PeterW

You whispered sweet things in my ear;
You told me that I was your dear.
Now how can that be
That you deceived me.
I cannot believe what I hear.
--- Tjarda

You now wear the dress 'stead of me;
You wanted the female to be.
You can play that part,
Make it into an art,
But I'm not into "travesty".
--- Tjarda

I don't like my men wearing dresses.
There is no man who impresses
Me as much as a man,
Who acts like one, can.
From that man I want my caresses.
--- Tjarda

A young man from Fort Meyers Beach
Spied a beauty just out of his reach.
He became quite a flirt,
As he tugged on her skirt,
And dropped to one knee and beseeched:
--- Jim Weaver Collection

"Lovely Lady, it's been a long time,
Since I have seen an ass quite as fine.
If you give me a minute,
I'll put something in it;
'Twill drive you right out of your mind!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Unfortunately, the man minconstrued;
The damsel was really a dude!
And when he turned 'round,
The young man soon found
'Twas a transvestite to whom he'd been lewd.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The 'vestite slapped at his paws,
"In this city, Sir, we have laws!
But come to my pad --
I'd really be glad,
To let you get into my drawers."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The young man, no longer in sight,
Had disappeared into the night.
The man, in a panic,
Had acted quite manic,
And had run home with all of his might.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The moral of this is quite clear:
Be wary of gender, my dear!
An ass, though quite magic,
Could prove to be tragic,
With an unfortunate poke in the rear!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The reason Joe was a cross-dresser,
He'd answer his mother with "Yes Sir."
His father said, "Damn!"
He answered, "Yes Ma'am."
"He's gender confused," his Confessor.
--- Irving Superior P9805

He went to his father confessor
And said, "I am now a cross-dresser."
He talked about bras
And slips made of gauze,
And the padre became the aggressor.
--- Al Willis P9805

He'd not wanted to look like a hag,
But his boobs had started to sag,
Balloons filled with water
Don't stay where they oughta;
This cross-dressing's really a drag!
--- Bob Birch P9805

I like to wear bras and panties;
Just love the feel of silken scanties.
They say sticks and stones
Can cause broken bones,
While whips and chains make some guys randy.
--- Gearhart

I'm into leather and feathers;
Body oil, paints, and tethers.
Seems masochism
Brings out my gism,
But never with guys wearing leathers.
--- Gearhart

Cross dressing gets quite confusing
And can, at times, be amusing.
At night on the town
In my evening gown,
Not sure what 'room' to be using.
--- Gearhart

She was such a beautiful sight,
That gorgeous blonde transvestite.
She/he said, "See here, Toot,
I've both quim and a root,
But my pooper's an outright delight.
--- Tutta Gioia

"I like your confusion," s/he said.
"You'll be on your toes in my bed.
What is your wish,
Hot dogs or fish?
I'm looking and cooking ahead."
--- Karen

Hot dogs I really don't like,
That macho and meaty old spike!
But a dish of fresh fish
Is what I would wish
From a loving and sexy young dyke!
--- Tutta Gioia

I wear ladies panties all day,
But I find that they easily fray
And the gussets and seams
Come apart in my dreams,
But that won't stop my habit, no way!
--- PeterW

So it should not be a total loss,
Those panties of yours you should toss.
Then go and put on
Some reinforced cotton;
They last longer, that's why, because!
--- Arden

A transvestite hooker called Ted
One morning was picked up by Ed-
dy Murphy, who cried,
"I just gave him a ride!"
But for a black man, his face was sure red!
--- Anon

The officer wasn't quite sure
Were their intentions obscene or quite pure?
He couldn't be certain,
his head was a hurtin'
Was Teddy a him or a her?
--- Anon

There once was a girl from Milan,
Who had many a masculine fan.
They wined her and danced her
Until they depantsed her,
And found out our girl was a man.
--- MrMalo

These gentlemen were really vexed,
Spending all of their time oversexed.
When Mister Milan
Showing elan,
Said, "No matter, bambino, who's next?"
--- Arden

I think I'll require an admission
From gents here who have such volition
To wear women's undies
On weekdays and sundays
Or I'll not accept your position!
--- Anon

That rumour I just cannot scotch:
The feel of that lace on your crotch,
Is simply divine,
When it still bears the sign,
Of once having cradled her notch.
--- Anon

"Your micro-skirt, dear, is a dilly;
It's pretty and sexy and frilly,
And, honey, don't pout
At work when folks shout,
'You're free-swinging willy looks silly!'"
--- Anon