At the zoo a young man of far Rockaway,
Was heard by folks screaming a block away.
He'd got apes in a rage,
Jerking off near their cage,
And they ripped off both balls and tore cock away.
--- G2008

There once was a man who went fishin',
But needed to do some big pissin'.
So he went to a tree,
And he tried to pee,
But he found that his penis was missin'.
--- Anon

A man in the battle of Aix,
Had one nut and his cock shot away.
But found out in this pickle,
His nose could still tickle,
Though he might get the snuffles some day.
--- L1233

In a ratty bordello in Venice,
An oversexed tourist named Ennis,
Found they'd stolen his money,
And swiped his do-funny,
Which the girls now employ to play tennis.
--- G0668

I once knew a guy from Havana,
Like Mitchell, who's now called Diana.
He, too, was transvestic
And often agrestic,
And claimed that he had no "banana"!
--- Anon

The wife of an athlete named Chuck,
Found her married life shit-out-of-luck.
Her husband played hockey
Without wearing a jockey --
Now he hasn't got what it takes for a fuck.
--- L1148

As his duflopper dropped on the floor,
Came this cry from the sad Matador,
"Was it caused when I sneezed
Or was it diseased?
Either way, it won't diddle no more!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 845

There once was a man from Bombay
Who's penis fell off from decay.
He said with a shrug,
And looked rather smug,
"That's not what I use, anyway."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I don't like that anal French kissing;
If you do it again you'll be missing
A gonad or two
And surely will rue
Having nothing to hold while you're pissing.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a German, Herr Stein,
Whose dick was whittled out of pine.
A lightning storm
Caused the termites to swarm;
And now he is known as Fraulein.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Aaaw, you've put it away to safe-keep;
In your trousers beside your beep-beep.
It'll stay there awhile,
Hope it makes you smile
But where does it go when you sleep?
--- Anon

A geologist named Dr.Robb
Was perturbed by his thingamabob.
So he took up his pick
And whanged off his wick,
And calmly went on with his job.
--- L1214

An eccentric young poet named Brown,
Raised up his embroidered gown,
To look for his peter,
To beat it to meter,
But fainted when none could be found.
--- L1139

An ambitious young fellow named Knight,
Ended up on Skid Row. He got tight,
And rolled in foul ditches
With badly poxed bitches.
And now he has no end in sight.
--- John Ciardi

Young Debbie thinks, "That will suffice!"
And jumps from the bed in a trice.
But on her way out,
She brakes off his spout,
And puts his dis-member on ice.
--- Ericka

A central vac owner named Streeter,
Inserted the head of his peter.
They found both his balls
In the living room walls,
And his dick in a pipe by the heater.
--- Steve

There was an old man from China,
Who wasn't a very good climber.
He slipped on a brick,
Which severed his prick,
And now he has a vagina.
--- Anon

There was a young fellow named Cratchet,
Who cut off his prick with a hatchet.
He packed it in beer,
Then sent it to Sears,
And ordered a cunt that would match it.

(Then very politely, He sent it to Whitely,)
--- L1396

There is a young girl here at Vassar
And none, for your needs, could surpass her.
But she cannot detach it,
And much less, dispatch it,
You'll still have to batch it. Alas, sir!
--- L1397

The gunfighter's win meant a notch
On the pistol grip hung by his crotch.
While playing with his whang,
The pistol went bang,
So now he drowns loss in cheap Scotch.
--- Tucker D Ott P9001

A mean Carpetbagger named Herman
Went South 'long with General Sherman.
Great Granny shot true;
Lord, when she got through,
Herm's gender was hard to determine!
--- Anon

One dark night, a lady from Snelling,
Awoke with a curious swelling,
In the palm of her hand.
It was, Yes!, A male gland!
But whose, she had no way of telling.
--- John Ciardi

There was a young fellow named Goff,
Whose amusement was jacking it off.
He pulled it so hard,
It stretched out a yard,
And turned to bright blue and fell off.
--- L1705

There was a young man from Vancouver,
Whose existence had lost its prime mover.
But its loss he supplied
With a piece of bull's hide,
Two pears, and the bag from the Hoover.
--- L1357

In Japan a young GI named Goff,
Fucked a whore with an ill-smelling trough.
The bitch was a dud
With the Japanese crud,
And his pecker turned black and fell off.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1783

A sorry young soldier was Pete;
Some shrapnel had blown off his meat.
And his arms were just stumps,
But he still got his lumps
For he managed to fuck with his feet.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G2184

There was a young man named Martell,
Who created the wildest cartel.
He bought up dead pricks,
And greased them with Vicks
For sore throats. Oh, My God! How they sell.
--- Anon

There was a young man of Jaipur,
Whose cock was shot off in the war.
So he painted his front
To resemble a cunt,
And set himself up as a whore.
--- G2029 L1020

There was a young man from Ft. Knox
Who was singularly blessed with two cocks.
When used in rotation,
Neither stopped copulation,
But always brought on a hot box.
--- G0590

He finally gave up the hunt
For a gal with a twin-barrelled cunt,
And forgetting compunction,
Used both in conjunction:
One behind and the other in front.
--- G0591

When ladies are asked why, particular
To his prowess of all things testicular,
He replied, "I at once
Satisfy backs and fronts
With my 2 cocks, for I'm ambidicular."
--- Jon Gearhart

There once was a girl named T.M.
Who lived with her old Auntie Em.
She tried them big,
And small as a twig;
In the end, she preferred 'medium'.
--- Tony

When it comes to matters of love,
It is Eric I'm envious of;
He was born with five pricks,
So he pulls in the chicks,
And his underpants fit like a glove.
--- Michael Horgan

This is file txl

A man who had more than one penis,
Was renowned here and there as a genius.
Said his girlfriend, "Although
You're no fun to blow,
When you plug up both holes, you're the keenest."
--- Tarazed

A sheik from far-off Xanadu
Had not just one penis, but two.
He wailed, "Woe is me!
If I only had three,
I could masturbate, bugger, and screw."
--- G0819

An effete young sailor named Buster,
Had pricks in a multiple cluster.
He could have an erection.
In any direction,
And afterwards serve as a duster.
--- G0277

There was a young man from East Wubbley,
Whose cock was bifurcated doubly.
Each quadruple shaft
Had two balls hanging aft,
And the general effect was quite lovely.
--- L0158

A laddie from Dublin called Jim
Has an extracurricular limb.
It only uncurls
When he's shagging those girls
With an extracurricular quim.
--- Anon

My playmates, when I was quite small,
Were Nancy and Peter and Paul.
Nan amazed us one day
When she showed us a way
To play with FOUR Peters in all!
--- John Miller 0015

There once was a doc named McLeans
Who exalted in playing with genes.
From black, white, and yellow,
Two girls and a fellow,
He produced a chimaera, with penes.
--- Calico Kid

A lewd-minded dolly named Bunce,
By nature endowed with two cunts,
At night dreams and drools
Of a man with two tools,
Who could fuck both vaginas at once!
--- G0274

There once was a man named Dupree,
Who grew a penis on his knee.
He never played sports,
'Cause he couldn't wear shorts.
He'd rolled up his pant-leg to pee.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

An extraordinary fellow named Hilary
Was blessed with twin sexual artillery.
When you get off one gun,
Your fun is all done,
But he drives home his pulsing auxiliary!
--- Grand Prix Lim 085 G0613

A young Mexican loved to pee;
He was born with two peckers, you see.
The first one they say
Was christened "Jose"
The second he nicknamed "Hose B."
--- Derry Down Derry P8701a

In the shower I clearly could see
Something I said could not be.
El Senor Beemissis
Was born with two penises.
He called them Jose and Hose-B.
--- Jim Jambor P9102a

A young Cuban stud said to me,
"I've got something you might like to see.
Through Ma Natures tricks,
I was born with two pricks;
And I've named them Jose and Josb.
--- Practical Press

She's had hundreds of lovers, has Jenny;
She just can't remember how many,
But of fellows like Jules,
Who was born with two tools,
I doubt that she's had hardly any.
--- Michael Horgan

There is a young fellow from York
Who possesses a double-tipped dork.
His carnal relations
Cause twins great elations,
For rather than spooning, he forks.
--- Anon

There once was a man, young and sleek,
With magnificently youthful physique.
His pecker was double,
But it caused him no trouble;
Having one for each ball was unique.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay

I dated a guy with two peters;
He sure was a generous feeder!
He fed me more meat
Than most girls ever eat,
And I am a big peter eater.
--- Loretta F TP9802

A fellow whose background was rural
Disclosed that his organ was plural.
He requested two maids
Hold it up with their braids,
While an artist produced a large mural.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0593

A practical fellow was Hicks,
On dates he engaged crosseyed chicks.
He said, "They're no trouble-
I'm glad they see double,
For they suck what they think is two pricks."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0826

Perhaps you've heard this one before?
While performing an autopsy chore,
Old Doctor Wecker
Found a dual pecker!
They don't make 'em that good no more!
--- Anon

These fellows with more than one piston,
Were accountants all, but I won't list 'em.
They'd suffer abuse,
But often amuse,
The gals with their double-entry system.
--- Anon

They don't make 'em that good any more?
You just said they had found 4 score.
Two dicks would be great
To help copulate,
In both the front and the back door.
--- Anon

This really is not new to me,
Because, it's the truth, I have three.
I walk well on two,
Each with its own shoe.
They're no good when I have to pee.
--- Anon

With the third I do have more luck,
Except when I'm driving the truck.
If I spot some quiff,
My 'legs' go all stiff;
The accelerator gets stuck.
--- Anon

I speed down the street like a fool;
All the while I'm damning that tool.
Most the cops have scoffed
Until it gets soft,
But don't ticket me as a rule.
--- Anon

They have sympathy for my plight,
And take me to bars in the night
To bet with a few
That my six feet-two,
Though measured, is not really right.
--- Anon

The patrons all think they are wise
Agreeing that 6-2's my size.
The girls come by later
To make my legs straighter,
Then measure my vertical rise.
--- Anon

The losers can't dispute the fact
That it's the wrong bet that they've backed.
But they pay to see
My leg number three;
They're wowed by my tripedal act.
--- Anon

If you see my truck speeding by,
Now you'll know the real reason why.
Those gals on the street
Are looking so sweet;
I can't stop as hard as I try.
--- Anon

There was a young lady named Fox
Who planted an acre of cocks.
They grew up firm and strong,
Nearly twelve inches long,
And she stuffed them all into her box.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G2127

I dated a guy with two dicks;
One small, one long and quite thick.
The small, hard as wood...
The large tasted good --
So it sure wasn't easy to pick.
--- Teresa T9801

An old man with two pricks, from Azores,
Had one small and one big as a boar's.
His dear wife he would stick
With his undersize prick,
But the big was for bitches and whores.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0387

Let's hear it for gonads -- they're grand;
Wish I had a pair for each hand.
A willie or three
Would occupy me,
For I hate to have stations unmanned.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

You've heard of this fellow named Young,
Unique in the way he is hung?
One waves to and fro,
The others real low,
The third one, it bangs on his bung!
--- Armand E Singer 334