A horny young dude from New York,
Had only two inches of dork.
So he sought the underaged
Which greatly enraged,
And most surely popped everyone's cork.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

An unfortunate Chinese named Wong
Was endowed with the tiniest dong.
He said, "Girl in pinch
Will make do with one inch
And pretend she is screwing King Kong!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

We feel sorry as hell for Joe Rooney.
He's colorblind, bald, and half looney.
And it pains us to mention
That a four-inch extension
Brings his cock length to just short of puny.
--- Michael Weinstein P8303

There was a young laddie called Evan
Who fuckled his girlfriend to heaven.
(Well that's what he thought,
But his dong was too short;
She just moved up from Cornwall to Devon.)
--- Peter Wilkins

There was a young woman of Sydney,
Who could take it clear up to the kidney.
But the thrust of Alphonse
Barely reached to her mons.
So he left her unsatisfied, didn't he?
--- Isaac Asimov

A well-endowed fellow named Ortening,
Prepared for an evening of sportening,
With a boy from a disco,
Till he greased up with Crisco.
And discovered, too late, it was shortening.
--- Anon

Oh, now we're to things electronic
And not even staying platonic;
But really I think
Best not short my dink,
Or, my butt might go supersonic!
--- Anon

Three lads once met three maids from Dorton.
Each one did decide he should court one.
The first two were delighted
But the third one was slighted,
For she felt she was had by the short one.
--- Albin Chaplin

To her husband, a lady named Blaining,
Of his shortness of prick was complaining.
But he said to her, "Dear,
It's your pussy, I fear,
For it looks like a ditch used for draining."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0405

There once was a lad named Kevin
Whose girlfriend was four foot eleven.
She looked at his cock
When 'twas hard as a rock;
It was ten inches long--minus seven.
--- Anon

He offered her pleasure sublime,
With twelve inches of penis divine.
She lay back on the table,
Said, "Let's see if you're able."
So he gave her three inches, four times.
--- James M Menger P9310 a

Now you can get your reward,
If your toes make me stiff as a board.
But I fear that my dong
Now is three inches long,
After constant erosion abroad.
--- Peter Wilkins

Your ding's not a dong but a nub!
But your wee thing most ladies won't snub.
So please don't abuse it,
Instead you could use it
To give their love buttons a rub.
--- Jeanie Taylor

His girlfriend told him in rhyme --
"Nine inches would be so sublime!"
He said "If that's true,
Then here's what I'll do --
I'll give you three inches, three times!"
--- Anon

Amid pubic hairs that were permed,
My moment in Bett was short-termed.
I started me wiggles
But she got the giggles,
And before she could blink, she was wormed.
--- SFA

There was an old Bishop of Zippit
Whose thing was a lean as a whippet.
Alas for the sport,
It was also too short
For nine-tenths of the parish to sip it.
--- Dennis M Hammes

The SPAM keeps on saying my dink
Needs enlargement, but truly I think
It's already too long ...
Those guys have it wrong,
What I really do need is a shrink!
--- Tiddy Ogg

Though John, I don't want to be petty,
According to bar room Queen Betty,
The length doesn't matter,
But she likes them fatter
Than your silly string of spaghetti.
--- Tiddy Ogg

It may not be fat, but it's wide
And it curls and it wriggles inside,
In a way so intense,
It's only pretense
For Betty to badmouth my pride.
--- John Miller

Poor Jim Smith had a minuscule prick;
It was short and it sure wasn't thick.
Said the whore, Memphis Mabel,
"That's too small for my navel,
And I hear that you come much too quick!"
--- Ward Hardman

Said Jimbo: "Oh don't be so fickle,
Let me hammer you with my pickle."
She laughed at the sight,
Of it limp to the right.
"Ha...Hammer? Looks more like a sickle."
--- Lightbulb

Then he added, "You know, for a nickel,
I guess I could do with a tickle."
He took her invite
And sexed her all night
With his larger than right left testicle.
--- Lightbulb

On that one we cannot agree
'Cause even a real Ph.D
Can't bugger his own
Asshole with a bone,
Which is only two inches, or three.
--- Anon

(And what's that degree all about?
You seem like an ignorant lout,
Who got for a fee
That special degree:
"Piled higher and Deeper," no doubt!
--- Anon

A rather peculiar dong
Had young Joe; a mere thre inches long.
But its width was immense,
When excited and tense,
Ripping left-to-right holes in his thong.
--- Peter Wilkins

Joe was on a vaction ride
And met a girl at the sea-side.
"You mean that your schlong
Is just three inches long?"
"No," he said, "three inches wide!"
--- Tom Accousti

While sailing along the Euphrates
I learned I was smaller'n me mateys.
My inches won't thrill
But if they were mill-
Imeters, I'd be in the eighties.
--- Anon

Came the Question "Do I like small cunny?"
I reply I like MORE for my money.
A note from a chick
Concerning my dick,
"All I'll say is they're ALL small for me, honey!"
--- Anon

Ladies, these words you must hear:
I'm not as small as you fear.
On a mirror o'er my bed,
These words can be read:
"Things are larger than they appear."
--- Les Stewart

A certain young wrestler named Rex
Had minimal organs of sex.
But I'm telling you, dude,
He excelled in the nude,
Because of the bulge in his pecs.
--- Armand E Singer P9812

A luscious young thing from LA
Had the hots for a local DJ.
And although his pecker'd
Not set any record,
His frequency makes it OK!
--- Ken Elrod P8209

Though the prick of a man from Salina
Was the size of a very small weiner;
He felt no perturbation
For on slight stimulation,
It would stretch like an old concertina.
--- Isaac Asimov

In her lingerie silky an shiny,
She answered in voice low and whiney,
She looked squarely at him
Said, "I call your dick Tim
Because it's so skinny and tiny."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0409

This is file tvl

How about that loser Nate?
Complaining about his sad fate.
He whines about lies
About his penis size,
And says he cannot get a date!
--- Anon

CRYPTOGRAPHY, meant to thoughts hide,
Was ploy of the newly wed bride,
Whose "oohs" and "wows" loud
On night she was plowed,
Meant only, "Such wee thing's inside."
--- Chris Papa

Instead of your bragging on size,
You may want to censor your lies.
You must be asheamed
That your weenie's not famed.
But it won't help to agrandize.
--- Dennis Galion

Yours is the dong of my dreams,
And though you use tissues in reams,
Your angle of view
May throw you askew --
For it's not quite as big as it seems.
--- Ericka

Peter, first Duke of Orange,
Was limited to a miserable four-inch,
But technique in a keyhole
Developed his pee-hole,
'Til at last it got caught in the door-hinge.
--- L1316

My god! I look ancient today;
Overnight it would seem I've gone gray.
I've got aches, I've got pains,
I've got varicose veins
And my pecker has shriveled away.
--- Peter Wilkins

There was a young man, quite astute,
Who a girl found to be very cute.
But she dumped his ass quicker
When she had to snicker,
When she saw him in his birthday suit.
--- Anon

There once was a man from Salt Lake
Exposing his small trouser snake
Downtown in the mall,
And he had the gall,
To try using one that was fake!
--- Anon

It is sad when two loved ones fall out,
Over things they should not fight about.
They should stay sentimen-i-tal
About all that is gen-i-tal
And make inches no object of doubt.
--- Isaac Asimov

Two anglers were fishing off Wight,
And his bobber was bobbing all night.
Murmured she, with a laugh,
"It is ready to gaff,
But don't break your rod, which is slight."
--- L0121

PENIS, male part anatomic,
An organ behaving quite comic.
It answers sex's call,
But after it all,
It returns to a size economic.
--- Chris Papa

There once was an old man from Waller
Who started to cry and to holler.
"My manhood's no good --
Never worked as it should,
But I swear that it's now getting smaller!"
--- Anon

To get in her pants he was workin';
He pleaded with evil thoughts lurkin'.
"My pickle will thrill you."
She replied, "I could kill you,
'Cause a pickle it's not. It's a gherkin!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0503

When Sally did happen to see
The nozzle from which he would pee,
Said. "Who do you think
Will get off with THAT dink?"
He replied, "Well, dear, I think ME."
--- Anon

I once had a lover named Vic;
I found out that he was a prick.
I signed a decree
Saying "I'm rid of thee."
Besides, he had a small dick.
--- Michelle

There once was a young man named Craig,
Who only got sex when he'd beg.
On the corner he stood,
Pleading "Try me! I'm Good!
Just don't laugh at my middle leg."
--- HotMail

Your penis, dear boy, may be small,
'Tis no hinderence to having a ball.
And it's just your luck
That gravities suck,
So into black holes you will fall.
--- Anon

Mohammed al Mustapha Saud,
Exceedingly under-endowed,
Last year went to Mecca
And there met Rebecca,
Who made him stand out from the crowd.
--- Anon

There was a young fellow from Mexico,
Who spent weekends convincing his dick to grow.
But for all his cajoling,
His hopes of long-poling
Remain tenuous, feeble, and low.
--- Robert Elliot

A senile old geezer from Feedbartz
Thought that all the ladies were sweethearts.
He'd grab them and squeeze them,
Try even to tease them.
They had him locked up for small parts.
--- Anon

Biologists in old Yale's halls,
Want only what's curled 'round your balls.
To put it on slow,
So all folks will know
Of a dick that's a record size, (small).
--- Tiddy Ogg

A young fellow, with rueful veracity,
Said he hadn't much phallic capacity.
So he tried no one new,
Stayed with girls he could screw,
And that's what I call perspicacity.
--- Isaac Asimov

I infer that you're terribly short,
In the range of 4-9 to 5-ought,
So I guess that your dick is
Knee height for those chickies.
One glad eye too many, you've caught.
--- Anon

Said his girlfriend, the passionate Bess,
"I have thoughts that to you I'll express.
You've heard the old saw
That says less is more.
Well I tell you right now, less is less."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0204

A freak by the name of Bill Finch,
Whose Guinness-book claim is a cinch,
Is called Wee Willie Winkee,
`Cause his prick is so dinky;
It's just a tad short of an inch.
--- Armand Singer

Said the girl who was dating a swami,
"There are times I suspect that I'm balmy.
There can be no dispute
That his prick is minute,
But it feels like a full-size salami."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0627

I heartily laugh and spew spittle
And think of the copy I'd whittle
Out of a toothpick,
Of your teeny dick,
Could I find it, but it is too little.
--- Anon

You don't think I can do a limerick,
But all you spout is "teeny dick".
Again I must say,
You are welcome today
To come down and to have just a teeny lick.
--- Anon

I'm quite well aware of your plight;
A cock that is well out of sight.
Since you aren't pricky
And like to see 'licky,'
As long as it's your wife, I might!
--- Anon

Cried whorish young Mrs. McWhorter,
"If that cock of yours was much shorter,
You could never fuck me!
Somewhere there must be
A man with a goddam ripsnorter."
--- G0396

So tell us, does size really matter?
Greater pleasure if longer or fatter?
At a crime scene they say
Rapists could get away,
For the small ones leave only a smatter.
--- Poet Lariat T9707

A fellow from Brighton named Stoker,
Was somewhat displeased with his poker;
Its shape was divine,
Its firmness, just fine,
But its measurements, just mediocre.
--- Cap'n Bean P0900

Said a haughty old lecher named Stone,
Who had but five inches of bone,
"I feel no deep urgin'
To consult a surgeon,
A mighty poor thing, but mine own!"
--- G0453

A lad that I once new named Billy
Wore underwear pretty and frilly.
For regular jocks
Were too big for his rocks
And his flacid and miniscule willy.
--- Peter Wilkins