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A diminutive member had Jessel, Well Honey, do you want me to blow? Alas, all the girls are aghast This man name of Kevin Farhang Two lovely disciples of Venus A gimpy old geezer named Joe, A hot-rodder raced in St Paul; There was an old Bishop of Faggot When will you all realize, There once was a dickhead named Brad, Of all of the girls that I've known, "Oh Doc, it's my cock; it's too small. A frustrated flasher named Paul, Now Tarzan's the jungle's brave king, There once was a flasher named Billy, Young Suzie is now Mrs Simple, Young Suzie met Gearhart the Pieman, That must have been my cousin Smally, There was a young man who's called Niel, A young man whose sight was myopic, The Albino's lust for Sal was acute, An unhappy haute-contre, Duby, I'd love to be naughty with Nita, There was a young man called Dick For once in your life, you're correct. In this electronic new era, Of boyfriends, she had very few, And from your unladylike chatter, The love shows through your words, He was drawn by the prostitute's eyes, She told him, "Let's have a look-see, A green-thumbed redhead named Mauna, The object of this Monk's desire, There was an old Bishop whose pain In Shanghai, there lived an old chink But when he was married to Meg, Always a debate for you guys, There was a young lad of Verdun She's trying to make the thing grow, "Five-inch cocks," said my date out of spite, Old Pete may quite well turn your cranks; H hopes we'll think inches no less, There once was a man from East Orange, Cold water can really be bad, There was a young lad from Helsinki - Said an angry young damsel, "What meanness! There once was a braggart named Tony, Nope, I'll stick with my own. I can't let this Friday pass by Thinking of times it has snowed in July, The weather affects many dong, Your last girl, she was no fool; An athelete there was of East Anglia, On Saturdays Travis takes Bridget There was an Old Man of Leghorn, When we left the pool, she was brazen. Don't say shrink, concerning 'the tool'; I swim with the Polar Bear Club; Am I cursed by old Beelzebub? My penis is all out of whack. There was a young lawyer named Rex, [The law is not concerned with trifles]
A very small organ had Eiffel; "Mike," came a voice from the bed, Poor Roger, a lonely old soul, That anti-romantic, George Bickel, She murmured, "Now don't be offended;
Yet his wife had an oversized vessel.
While at amorous play,
In a humorous way,
They resembled a mortar and pestle.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9409
I'll do my utmost as a pro,
But there's no guarantee
Unless you give to me
A substantial tool to work with, though.
--- Dirruk
With the minimal size of your mast.
1/2 inch is its girth
'Cause it aint grown since birth;
You'd better start surgery fast.
--- Anon
Went out one night hunting poontang.
He never got any,
Not 'cause he was skinny,
But 'cause of the size of his whang.
--- Anon
Sought a partner-in-crime with a penis.
Though I started to pant,
They said, "Surely we can't
Let a small thing like that come between us."
--- Stargazer V
Had a digit the size of his toe.
The one was a sprout,
The other had gout,
And neither could get up and go.
--- Lims For Year - 01
The spectators all had a ball.
But later in bed,
A sad groupie said,
"His rod's not so hot after-all."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0412
Who searched for a sucker who'd gag it.
But he was so small,
With Viagra and all,
He could not even quite gag a maggot.
--- Dennis M Hammes
It's not always a matter of size.
Bring toys and we'll play
And have a good lay.
Your satisfaction should be no surprise.
--- Arden
Who drove all the women quite mad.
They chased him like whores,
Till they got in his drawers,
And saw what a small dick Brad had.
--- MrMalo
Petal's is the least overblown.
Perpetually tight,
When the spear size is right,
But yours is far too under-grown.
--- Archie
It barely extends from the ball.
My wife says my penis
Is coming between us."
"How in Hell can she tell that at all?"
--- Jon Gearhart
Exposes himself in the mall.
But the crowd never knows
When he tries to expose,
'Cause the thing that he shows is so small.
--- Pierce Evans
All the animals hear his cry ring,
But an elephant wise
Once remarked on his size:
"Christ! How can you eat with that thing?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection A
Who showed a young lady his willy.
She said, "That's okay,
For a day like today."
But they both knew it wasn't that chilly.
--- Loz
For Simon's pathetic wee pimple
Fits nicely inside
Of her not very wide,
Indeed, almost invisible dimple.
--- Peter Wilkins
Whose wares on which soon she was climbin'.
What rapture! What joy!
She's found one more toy
That fits in her undersized hymen.
--- Peter Wilkins
Nicknamed for the size of his wally.
It's quite miniscule,
Not much of a tool.
Twice larger than Randog's by tally.
--- Gearhart
Who claimed his todger was like an eel.
For girls in the dark,
Having a lark,
'Twas only an elver they'd feel.
--- Jeff Daeschner
Thought sex an incredible topic.
So poor were his eyes,
That despite its great size,
His penis appeared microscopic.
--- L1493
But his root was the size of a newt.
Sal said, "Smear it with grease,
And that newt will increase.
I don't like pale guys who can't shoot."
--- Annie Jay
Didn't care when his newest CD
Got a 10 from the press.
He thought life was a mess,
'Cause this penis was only a three.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But her boyfriend is nigh on two metre,
So she won't get the measure
Of my source of pleasure --
A point two six five metre peter.
--- Archie
Who had a diminutive prick.
He said "I want one much bigger
Like that little nigger,
And besides it's much nicer to lick."
--- Anon
It's puny and rather abject!
But I ain't real picky
When it comes to dicky,
No matter if limp or erect!
--- Anon
We really do have to be clearer.
A hard disk is soppy;
My girl hates a floppy;
And a compact would never get near her.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But Teresa liked anything new.
She tried all the boys,
Was dismayed by their toys,
And said, I've had better than you!"
--- Tom
I guess you've seen longer and fatter.
But I'm not dismayed,
For girls I have laid
Discovered that size didn't matter.
--- SFA
But to think I'm that huge is absurd!
You're a CPA lass;
I'd never fit your ass,
If my dick were as small as a bird's!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
By the silky expanse of her thighs,
But before he would mount,
He'd request a discount,
Because of his pecker's small size.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0401
And then we'll determine the fee.
Your pinky is taller;
If your pecker was smaller,
I guess I would do you for free!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0401
Said, as she steamed in a sauna.
"Though I have a yen
For Japanese men,
I much prefer bonsai to fauna."
--- Sam Chen
She sure set his old heart afire.
But his tool was so small
She'd not feel it at all,
So she went with a much larger squire.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
This is file tul
Was awfully hard to explain,
For his penis was through
When the inch that it grew
Suck all of the blood from his brain.
--- Dennis M Hammes
Whose penis had started to shrink;
He wife rarely laughed
At the size of his shaft,
But often it tickled her pink.
His dick was the length of his leg.
According to him:
"My sperm couldn't swim,
And had to be put on the egg."
--- SFA
Is the length of your manly prize.
If you've a wee dong,
A talented tongue,
Will make up for the lack in size.
--- Anon
Who went round with his zipper undone;
But his thing was so small
And unnoticed by all,
For 'twas shriveled to naught in the sun.
--- Anon
She's not seen one that small, you know,
Since next door's old cat,
While chasing a rat,
Excitedly peed on her toe.
--- Anon
"Are a nickel a dozen, all right."
Her opinion upset me,
So I hope she will let me
Put in my two cents worth tonight.
--- Jerry Nordal P0001
And he does have some cute little pranks.
But if I can be blunt,
He's a bit of a runt;
I'd much rather shag the two Franks.
--- Anon
Quoting 7.5 to impress.
But that's just under three
Little inches you see;
Centimenters H uses, confess.
--- Peter W
Whos penis was merely a four-inch;
When he finally died,
And the thing petrified,
'Twas used as a pin in a door-hinge.
--- Ed Potts P8410
The thought of you chilled leaves me sad.
Prune wrinkled saturated?
Suicide contemplated?
I understand why you were mad.
--- Anon
Was proud as could be of his dinky.
He flashed it at nuns
And gave them the runs.
A kinky wee pinky, methinky.
--- Anon
First a fellow will brag of his penis,
Then you say, 'Come on, lover,
Why don't you uncover?'
And he does--and you're shocked at the wee-ness."
--- Isaac Asimov
Who claimed to be hung like a pony.
But wouldn't you know it,
When challenged to show it,
'Twas more like a wet macaroni.
--- Pierce Evans
(One of us must set the tone)
My own pleases me:
You try yours, do make free,
And show it to me when it's grown!
--- Anon
Without telling someone a lie;
So, thusly, here goes:
My cock, when it snows,
Shrinks 17 inches, but why?
--- Anon
I do believe you are telling a lie.
How could such foul weather
Have effect on your leather;
You must have been measuring your thigh!
--- Anon
So who can say what's right or wrong.
But now, I ain't seen
The screwing machine
That's minus fifteen inches long.
--- Anon
The one with a snatch like a mule.
Your showed her your penis,
She said some words heinous,
"Like a prick, only miniscule!"
--- Archie
Whose sinews were masses of ganglia.
But his racing he ceased
When his penis decreased,
While his balls grew progressively danglier.
--- G0319
Down river where he then will fidget
With her sloppy clit,
Until she yells "Shit!
Your cock would hang best on a midget!"
--- Peter Wilkins
With the smallest that ever was born;
But quickly snapt up he
Was once by a Puppy;
Out of hunger and not out of scorn.
--- Edwardian Leer 106
And when I undressed, she was gazin'.
That water was cold,
And Lo and Behold!
My grape had turned into a raisin.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
'Tis a lesson that I've made a rule.
It just wasn't fair
When she only saw hair.
Honest to God, I'd just got outta the pool.
--- Anon
It shortens my club to a nub.
The shrink ratio
One day was so low,
A gull bit me, thinking "A grub!"
--- H Welchel
My crank is a wrinkled up stub!
It's shrunk to a thumb,
'Cause I've just come from
A swim with the Polar Bear Club.
--- H Welchel
My id thinks this kid won't come back.
There's no feeling at all
It just hangs there so small.
Oh Lord, won't you cut me some slack!
--- Tom Patton P0010
Who was sadly deficient in sex.
Arraigned for exposure,
He said with composure,
"De minimis non curat lex."
--- Anon (Letts) L0222
His approach to his girl it did stifle.
In the nude he did jaunt
And the law he did flaunt,
But no law does apply to a trifle.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0438
"Such complaints are surely ill bred.
Your pecker's so small,
There's no friction at all,
To bring my desires to a head."
--- Larry Wilde
Played all day with his miniscule pole;
For the girlies all laughed
At his half-an-inch shaft;
Even Cher, his inflatable doll.
--- Anon
Regarded his mini-sized pickle,
Invoked the name Jesus
Attached his prosthesis,
And laughed that Fate's finger was fickle.
--- Armand E Singer 972
That giggle was never intended."
Though she was a dear,
Her meaning was clear:
"Four inches at most, when extended!"
--- Norm Storer P9505
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